(no subject)
I'm such an idiot. Really, why on earth did I think that the people that I have looked up to as friends and role-models the past couple months didn't drink or smoke? Huh? Why do I assume that just because someone goes to RUF that they take care of their bodies that are temples to the Lord? Daggummit. I wasn't the only person at Drew's birthday party not smoking or drinking, but I didn't think I was going to have to fight this battle tonight. At least when I go to frat parties and such, I know to prepare myself for behavior that I disagree with, but I didn't think I would have to do that with my RUF friends. My best friends weren't drinking or smoking, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Why am I such a retard.
So what if TJRF said he liked my earrings. I can like him all I flat want to, but it's never going to happen. He and the other guys that don't smoke or drink are fun to talk to, but they don't want to date the stupid loud freshman. And of course all I did was try to make myself look good by mentioning stuff that's gone on lately but all I did was make myself look self-centered and idiotic. I'm just digging a hole for myself. I really wish I wasn't so loud - maybe that would help. Oh, CHICKENBUTT!
You know what, God has a wonderful man somewhere on this earth waiting for me, and he's going to be so much more wonderful than anything I could ever hope for. He's none of these guys, I know that much, which is really, really comforting. Maybe I should just stop caring what these folks think about me and concentrate on my studies - that's the most important thing right now. So I'm naive - I'm just going to get over it and focus on my main job right now, which is not to be the life of the party (cause I'm not good at that at all) but to make the grades to get into med school. Whew.
So what if TJRF said he liked my earrings. I can like him all I flat want to, but it's never going to happen. He and the other guys that don't smoke or drink are fun to talk to, but they don't want to date the stupid loud freshman. And of course all I did was try to make myself look good by mentioning stuff that's gone on lately but all I did was make myself look self-centered and idiotic. I'm just digging a hole for myself. I really wish I wasn't so loud - maybe that would help. Oh, CHICKENBUTT!
You know what, God has a wonderful man somewhere on this earth waiting for me, and he's going to be so much more wonderful than anything I could ever hope for. He's none of these guys, I know that much, which is really, really comforting. Maybe I should just stop caring what these folks think about me and concentrate on my studies - that's the most important thing right now. So I'm naive - I'm just going to get over it and focus on my main job right now, which is not to be the life of the party (cause I'm not good at that at all) but to make the grades to get into med school. Whew.