strange condition, part 2
Today was really almost like any other day, except heavier in my head. I didn't want to spend all day being teary or anything like that. I was up super late this morning, finally went to sleep and had nightmares involving my family and Michael and who knows what else. By the time bembacolora called me, I had been in the middle of dreaming about him grating cheese or something. Weird. After talking on the phone a bit, I fell back asleep until I had to get up and stop by work. I then spent the rest of the evening with Sean- first we went to Nextel to visit Ricardo and then we went to the Halloween store. I bought a few cute accessories, which is more than the cat ears I did last year. I also, as mentioned in the previous entry, bought a cell phone and am quite happy about that. I have pretty bad credit but I figured I'd see what they said, and I didn't have to put as much into a deposit as I thought. Tmobile wanted $500 from me about 2 years ago or so when I checked. Take that, bastards.
So yes, today was a pretty good day. It still hurts to remember this day two years ago, but I know that's just the way it goes. I know that M was with me today and that made me smile. Life without him is tough, and it's a difficulty I keep mostly to myself in comparison to how much time I spend thinking about him and his death. It is a struggle I largely deal with alone, but as much of it that other people can be there for me, they are, and that has been one of the biggest helps in my emotional health. I think I'm doing a pretty good job at making him proud of me and of enjoying as much as I can for his sake as well as my own.
Anyway, it looks like I'll be moving down into the lower level (I am now refusing to call it a basement) this weekend. My parents really made the bathroom nice while I was in Michigan. It's a smaller room but I'm still excited. After Christmas, my parents said that they'll fix the rest of the apartment area up- get the floor done, walls, etc etc. I can't wait, I'm ready for some wine parties.
So yes, today was a pretty good day. It still hurts to remember this day two years ago, but I know that's just the way it goes. I know that M was with me today and that made me smile. Life without him is tough, and it's a difficulty I keep mostly to myself in comparison to how much time I spend thinking about him and his death. It is a struggle I largely deal with alone, but as much of it that other people can be there for me, they are, and that has been one of the biggest helps in my emotional health. I think I'm doing a pretty good job at making him proud of me and of enjoying as much as I can for his sake as well as my own.
Anyway, it looks like I'll be moving down into the lower level (I am now refusing to call it a basement) this weekend. My parents really made the bathroom nice while I was in Michigan. It's a smaller room but I'm still excited. After Christmas, my parents said that they'll fix the rest of the apartment area up- get the floor done, walls, etc etc. I can't wait, I'm ready for some wine parties.