The weekend
June fair was definately interesting this year. As I approached site it was raining, at gate it was raining. I get *to* my encampment with House Solaris and viola the rain stops, rainbow comes out, another rainbow comes out. That site and I have some very wonky feelings about eachother.
I get all set up, dressed and fed happy lovely stew. Which I wasn't expecting to be fed that weekend so I appriciate it greatly! Started in on the bottle of Vodka Kat got me, and it was for the most part gone on Friday night. Then again I stayed up until several hours after the sun rose.
Kat and I got in a game of toblaro on my new board (thank you Les!) and staed up singing and talking, and generally BSing. Also put Kat's knee back into joint cause she kept putting it out. Poor thing. Also talked about the possibility of if her DR says no more children her husband to be and herself are looking to me to serve as the bearer of the child. An incredible honor in my opinion, and a little scary. That however is in the future.
Unfortunatly staying up that late was a very bad idea because regardless of the almost gallon of water I had drank along with my booze to keep well hydrated crawling into my tent and trying to sleep during the morning resulted in me getting baked (temperature) in my tent, I craweled out shaking, dehydrated and wanting desprately to throw up.
I found some nice gentelmen who helped me with the water hose, I hosed down one of my linnen wraps with cold water and wrapped it around myself and sat in the shade drinking more and more water.
I was fairly miserable with heat stroke till about 3pm. :( Then I forgot that on sunny days it dosen't matter if you are 'out of the sun' w/out sunsceeen I burn like a son of a bitch. I... me.. who whines and bitches and throws a fit when someone says I need to be doused in cold water to bring my temperature down, covered myself in ice packs, wet myself down, drank more water, and on Sunday when I got home was so fucking warm that I took a cold shower... /gasp. You know it's bad when I douse myself.
Acid reflux stayed with me all the event so I didn't drink again.
Saturday was spent in deep conversation of life, and the universe, faith, The Art of War... lol and energy.
I think I figured out why I felt so much like everything was wrong yet nothing was wrong, and why I just lost it last night grieving.
Have you ever expereienced a time when you are not yourself, when there is a degree of disassociation but it's not a complete loss of self. I can only really describe it in terms of other worldly fantasy or fact - a entity, god, goddess, earth... whathave you - fills you up, and speaks with you, with your words. Kind of like channeling a wisdom much older than you feel, to some who were old enough to be my grandfather.
The guise of the medicine woman I think pounced me over the weekend and coming out of it, back into the mundane world left me a little broken. I worked with a lot of pain, a lot of healing, and it did not cling to me like it did in the past, so that was nice to practice and have work.
I did have one young man, vietnamese lad who kept referring to me as Graceful Lady and asked to hold my hand on Saturday night. He seemed to play court to me, and I had no clue what to do with him... maybe some day I will be complimented in such a way and not feel like a complete fraud and want to run and hide.
I talked of many many things, perceptions, people listened... it was ... strange.... a charisma to understand a stranger, articulate in such a way as to be heard... I have felt it before but not for such a long time, and especially not on the heals of such life chaing decisions as I have been making lately.
It was a very very strange weekend, it was not bad, and bits of it were very very good - just incredibly strange. Like I was there but not.
I get all set up, dressed and fed happy lovely stew. Which I wasn't expecting to be fed that weekend so I appriciate it greatly! Started in on the bottle of Vodka Kat got me, and it was for the most part gone on Friday night. Then again I stayed up until several hours after the sun rose.
Kat and I got in a game of toblaro on my new board (thank you Les!) and staed up singing and talking, and generally BSing. Also put Kat's knee back into joint cause she kept putting it out. Poor thing. Also talked about the possibility of if her DR says no more children her husband to be and herself are looking to me to serve as the bearer of the child. An incredible honor in my opinion, and a little scary. That however is in the future.
Unfortunatly staying up that late was a very bad idea because regardless of the almost gallon of water I had drank along with my booze to keep well hydrated crawling into my tent and trying to sleep during the morning resulted in me getting baked (temperature) in my tent, I craweled out shaking, dehydrated and wanting desprately to throw up.
I found some nice gentelmen who helped me with the water hose, I hosed down one of my linnen wraps with cold water and wrapped it around myself and sat in the shade drinking more and more water.
I was fairly miserable with heat stroke till about 3pm. :( Then I forgot that on sunny days it dosen't matter if you are 'out of the sun' w/out sunsceeen I burn like a son of a bitch. I... me.. who whines and bitches and throws a fit when someone says I need to be doused in cold water to bring my temperature down, covered myself in ice packs, wet myself down, drank more water, and on Sunday when I got home was so fucking warm that I took a cold shower... /gasp. You know it's bad when I douse myself.
Acid reflux stayed with me all the event so I didn't drink again.
Saturday was spent in deep conversation of life, and the universe, faith, The Art of War... lol and energy.
I think I figured out why I felt so much like everything was wrong yet nothing was wrong, and why I just lost it last night grieving.
Have you ever expereienced a time when you are not yourself, when there is a degree of disassociation but it's not a complete loss of self. I can only really describe it in terms of other worldly fantasy or fact - a entity, god, goddess, earth... whathave you - fills you up, and speaks with you, with your words. Kind of like channeling a wisdom much older than you feel, to some who were old enough to be my grandfather.
The guise of the medicine woman I think pounced me over the weekend and coming out of it, back into the mundane world left me a little broken. I worked with a lot of pain, a lot of healing, and it did not cling to me like it did in the past, so that was nice to practice and have work.
I did have one young man, vietnamese lad who kept referring to me as Graceful Lady and asked to hold my hand on Saturday night. He seemed to play court to me, and I had no clue what to do with him... maybe some day I will be complimented in such a way and not feel like a complete fraud and want to run and hide.
I talked of many many things, perceptions, people listened... it was ... strange.... a charisma to understand a stranger, articulate in such a way as to be heard... I have felt it before but not for such a long time, and especially not on the heals of such life chaing decisions as I have been making lately.
It was a very very strange weekend, it was not bad, and bits of it were very very good - just incredibly strange. Like I was there but not.