Happy Birthday to arch_schatten!
Happy Birthday, Mina! I, uh, was informed that you like Barbara Gordon/Jason Blood, so I wrote this super-fast! It's really more about Babs, though.
Title: A Librarian's Worst Nightmare
Characters/Pairings: Barbara Gordon, various other characters
Rating: G
Summary: Batgirl takes a trip to the Gotham Public Library.
Author's Notes: This takes place pre-Killing Joke. Barbara is still Batgirl and still working at the library.
Batgirl loomed in the shadows on top of the Gotham Public Library. She was peering through the skylight, bat-noculars trained on a nondescript man sitting at a computer consul below. His hand moved the mouse slightly, he clicked...yes. It was go time.
Batgirl crashed though the skylight, landing in the middle of the library in a hail of shattered glass and rain water. All of the mild-mannered library patrons turned and gasped, but Barbara wasted no time in throwing a batarang that effectively pinned the perp's pants to his computer chair.
"Looking at porn on a public computer on my watch? I don't think so," she declared. "The last thing the GPL needs is a lawsuit filed by the Christian Coalition."
She strode forward to collar the pervy patron, but then she noticed exactly what was on the computer screen. "Oh my God!" she cried, as she jumped back in shock and horror. "Superman with Batman? What kind of sicko are you?!"
Before he could answer, the criminal splintered in to a thousand little wooden golf pencils.
If there was one thing Barbara's librarian instincts couldn't stand, it was when library users didn't put away the pencils they used for jotting down call numbers. "Goddamnit, people! How hard is it to put the stupid pencils back in the little holder?"
Bruce Wayne looked out from behind a copy of the Gotham Gazette. "Batgirl! How many times do I have to tell you? Use your 'inside voice' in a library!"
Commissioner Gordon appeared beside Mr. Wayne. "Oh, I try to tell her that every day, Bruce, but does she ever listen to me?"
Batgirl opened her mouth to reply, but then she noticed a tall figure with a white streak in his dark hair dash back into the shelves. "Jason?" she called after him.
She then executed a perfect back-tuck to avoid being run down by heavy metal book cart careening out of control. Sitting on top of it was Jason Todd in full Robin regalia.
"I'm right here, Batgirl! But you need to get back to the poetry section fast! There's a yellow monster eating all of the books and then regurgitating the verse!"
Without a moment to spare, Barbara began running towards the poetry books. And kept running and running. Come to think of it, the library seemed a lot bigger than it used to be...
She passed The Joker and Harley Quinn making out in the criminology section. Poison Ivy was training vines to grow up bookshelves in Gardening. Among the art books, the Rainbow Raider was blasting things with his spectrum-gun and yelling "If I can't appreciate fine art, no one else will be able to either! Mwahahaha!"
Finally, Barbara reached the place where Etrigan the Demon was standing on top of the shelves and brandishing a half-eaten book in each hand. He spoke in rhyme, and all of his words flew out of his mouth, written on small slips of paper.
"At last! My Dark Lady arrives!
Hair red as flame, gaze sharp like knives!"
"Etrigan! You turn back in to Jason right now! And stop eating the books!"
"I would love to my dear, but I cannot! You see,
As a rhyming demon, I must speak in poetry!
Blood's is the mind of a magician, not poet!
I need these books for their rhymes and you know it!"
"BARBARA!"
Batgirl whirled around to see who had called her name. It was Mrs. Thatcher, the head librarian. "You shelved the books on bats in the wrong section! Now you have to reorganize the entire library!"
"Wait!" said Barbara. "How did you know my name? I'm wearing my costume!"
"No, you're not. You're only wearing your underwear!"
Barbara looked down and saw that it was true. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Barbara woke up suddenly, panting hard like she had just been running. She glanced at her alarm clock. 4:57. Tomorrow was going to be a long day...
Title: A Librarian's Worst Nightmare
Characters/Pairings: Barbara Gordon, various other characters
Rating: G
Summary: Batgirl takes a trip to the Gotham Public Library.
Author's Notes: This takes place pre-Killing Joke. Barbara is still Batgirl and still working at the library.
Batgirl loomed in the shadows on top of the Gotham Public Library. She was peering through the skylight, bat-noculars trained on a nondescript man sitting at a computer consul below. His hand moved the mouse slightly, he clicked...yes. It was go time.
Batgirl crashed though the skylight, landing in the middle of the library in a hail of shattered glass and rain water. All of the mild-mannered library patrons turned and gasped, but Barbara wasted no time in throwing a batarang that effectively pinned the perp's pants to his computer chair.
"Looking at porn on a public computer on my watch? I don't think so," she declared. "The last thing the GPL needs is a lawsuit filed by the Christian Coalition."
She strode forward to collar the pervy patron, but then she noticed exactly what was on the computer screen. "Oh my God!" she cried, as she jumped back in shock and horror. "Superman with Batman? What kind of sicko are you?!"
Before he could answer, the criminal splintered in to a thousand little wooden golf pencils.
If there was one thing Barbara's librarian instincts couldn't stand, it was when library users didn't put away the pencils they used for jotting down call numbers. "Goddamnit, people! How hard is it to put the stupid pencils back in the little holder?"
Bruce Wayne looked out from behind a copy of the Gotham Gazette. "Batgirl! How many times do I have to tell you? Use your 'inside voice' in a library!"
Commissioner Gordon appeared beside Mr. Wayne. "Oh, I try to tell her that every day, Bruce, but does she ever listen to me?"
Batgirl opened her mouth to reply, but then she noticed a tall figure with a white streak in his dark hair dash back into the shelves. "Jason?" she called after him.
She then executed a perfect back-tuck to avoid being run down by heavy metal book cart careening out of control. Sitting on top of it was Jason Todd in full Robin regalia.
"I'm right here, Batgirl! But you need to get back to the poetry section fast! There's a yellow monster eating all of the books and then regurgitating the verse!"
Without a moment to spare, Barbara began running towards the poetry books. And kept running and running. Come to think of it, the library seemed a lot bigger than it used to be...
She passed The Joker and Harley Quinn making out in the criminology section. Poison Ivy was training vines to grow up bookshelves in Gardening. Among the art books, the Rainbow Raider was blasting things with his spectrum-gun and yelling "If I can't appreciate fine art, no one else will be able to either! Mwahahaha!"
Finally, Barbara reached the place where Etrigan the Demon was standing on top of the shelves and brandishing a half-eaten book in each hand. He spoke in rhyme, and all of his words flew out of his mouth, written on small slips of paper.
"At last! My Dark Lady arrives!
Hair red as flame, gaze sharp like knives!"
"Etrigan! You turn back in to Jason right now! And stop eating the books!"
"I would love to my dear, but I cannot! You see,
As a rhyming demon, I must speak in poetry!
Blood's is the mind of a magician, not poet!
I need these books for their rhymes and you know it!"
"BARBARA!"
Batgirl whirled around to see who had called her name. It was Mrs. Thatcher, the head librarian. "You shelved the books on bats in the wrong section! Now you have to reorganize the entire library!"
"Wait!" said Barbara. "How did you know my name? I'm wearing my costume!"
"No, you're not. You're only wearing your underwear!"
Barbara looked down and saw that it was true. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Barbara woke up suddenly, panting hard like she had just been running. She glanced at her alarm clock. 4:57. Tomorrow was going to be a long day...