Haven't written on this in years...

[vielika]

Have you ever realized something about yourself or your life that really saddened you?  I had the revelation today that I am no ones best friend.  The two people who I see as my closest and best friends, neither of them see me as such.  I'm a good friend, I'm not the best.  Even when I stand up for someone, even when I stick by them through years and years.  I give everything I can to my best friend, and she doesn't even think of me as a "best".  I feel very unappreciated, and unloved now.

What put me on this topic? Several things.  One is my friends wedding, and that she felt the need to explain why she chose her maid of honor to me.  I understood, the other girl is closer, she's part of everyday life.  I'm not anymore.  Understandable.  But then some other things happened over night and I realized, that while I know if I get married who my maid of honor will be, I also know that I won't be any-ones maid of honor.

stupid depressing thoughts.....................