Argh, I cant stand him
My dad wakes me up and the first thing he tells me to do is to clean my room finally even though he told me off about it crazily last night. He says that there needs to be order in my life and that he doesnt want his house like that, as if guests were gonna peek in my room, lol. Two concepts I cant relate to at all. He then just casually tells me to go and pick up my sick note from the doctors. He then reminds me about both and I have no choice but to clean my room even though its hardly that messy, I do that walking around and up the stairs. By the end of it I am exhausted even though I didnt clean it as thouroughly as he would like. I am drowsy and tired again so I decide to lie down and to close my eyes, or maybe even to nap for a bit. Unsurprisngly I am woken up by him, told to clean my room even though I have and Im reminded about going for the note. You'd think he couldnt make my blood boil anymore. He then gets my brother to wake me and I dont respond to him either... I nap for a bit. I decide to go for the note after as I could use a good walk.
He gets back and he asks me to clean some of the house this time! Along with the dishes when I go downstairs. The chore is fairer seeing that it's actually a part of the house that other people use but he wouldnt give me a break from all the hassle in one day. However, his wife is refusing to do the work for him so I take empathy and help my family and the REST of the house to be clean. Household chores can be alright to do once in a while actually, and its fairer seeing as Im a part of a family and a household that needs to pull together.
Seriously though, Im almost an adult, figuring out what I want and who I am and this isnt me at all. Especially not the cleaning of my room and from being woken up from light sleeping when I am feeling drained. He only spared me with the sleeping the first time I got drowsy from my meds because he 'felt sorry me'... ugh, how pathetic.
At least he doesnt take the laptop away from me after every argument anymore, lol. He does that with his wife though. Even my psychologist mentioned that my dad treats me unfairly for my age, but she said that it seems like I want to relive him of his weird desires, and I could not want to slap her more for that. She completely, openly misinterprets me.
Ugh... now I cant concentrate with this cuz my dads wife is whining at him loudly. Like I said I am an adult in a way, as scary but fulfilling that is, and I can't carry out the fullfiment of knowing me, what I want and how I can live pecefully in this house. I dream of my screenplay working out and moving to California, the land of peace, love and opportunity too I guess. I am not very motivated to work on it lately, how can I be?.. with my head messing with me along with this household and its expectations. Dont get me wrong, I dont want to completely abandon my family its just that I dont really know how to live here anymore. I predict I'm gonna have to stay for quite a while though.
He gets back and he asks me to clean some of the house this time! Along with the dishes when I go downstairs. The chore is fairer seeing that it's actually a part of the house that other people use but he wouldnt give me a break from all the hassle in one day. However, his wife is refusing to do the work for him so I take empathy and help my family and the REST of the house to be clean. Household chores can be alright to do once in a while actually, and its fairer seeing as Im a part of a family and a household that needs to pull together.
Seriously though, Im almost an adult, figuring out what I want and who I am and this isnt me at all. Especially not the cleaning of my room and from being woken up from light sleeping when I am feeling drained. He only spared me with the sleeping the first time I got drowsy from my meds because he 'felt sorry me'... ugh, how pathetic.
At least he doesnt take the laptop away from me after every argument anymore, lol. He does that with his wife though. Even my psychologist mentioned that my dad treats me unfairly for my age, but she said that it seems like I want to relive him of his weird desires, and I could not want to slap her more for that. She completely, openly misinterprets me.
Ugh... now I cant concentrate with this cuz my dads wife is whining at him loudly. Like I said I am an adult in a way, as scary but fulfilling that is, and I can't carry out the fullfiment of knowing me, what I want and how I can live pecefully in this house. I dream of my screenplay working out and moving to California, the land of peace, love and opportunity too I guess. I am not very motivated to work on it lately, how can I be?.. with my head messing with me along with this household and its expectations. Dont get me wrong, I dont want to completely abandon my family its just that I dont really know how to live here anymore. I predict I'm gonna have to stay for quite a while though.