when fandom happens
When I was having lunch with some friends today a weird thing happened. There was a girl sitting a few feet away from us, with her friend, reading aloud what was very obviously an account of rape. Which was, in itself, a pretty socially awkward thing to talk about in a crowded dining hall. And then afterwards she was talking about how she wouldn't act the way the person in the story acted.
After she'd left my friends and I were talking about it and they both made it clear that they felt very uncomfortable but that was all. Whereas I was really angry. And they were confused so I explained to them that, for me, her comments not only invalidated the rape-victim's experience as legitimate but also were completely victim-blaming. And the fact that she read the story out loud in a crowded place, without considering that it might be triggering if anybody nearby was a victim of abuse, was thoughtless and insensitive. I think both of my friends were really surprised and one of them, to my surprise, said something to the effect of, wow how did you get to be so sensitive about these things. And to be honest, I don't think of myself as a particularly sensitive person.
But the fact that neither of them reacted the way I did made me think about it. The only reason I could think of was fandom. Seriously, the entire time I've been involved in fandom, even peripherally, I've been surrounded by intelligent, thoughtful, educated, passionate people. I seriously doubt that without being exposed to the (sometimes very intimate) thoughts and ramblings of all of you guys, I would be a completely different person. I think differently, I think. I'm not saying that my reaction to the girl in the dining hall was the right one or that my friends are ignorant, mostly I just want to say thank you, so much, for letting me listen to your opinions and angst and ravings and rages about the world, it means so much to me.
Thanks guys ♥
On a more adorable note, if anybody hasn't seen this video, oh good heavens so sweet.
After she'd left my friends and I were talking about it and they both made it clear that they felt very uncomfortable but that was all. Whereas I was really angry. And they were confused so I explained to them that, for me, her comments not only invalidated the rape-victim's experience as legitimate but also were completely victim-blaming. And the fact that she read the story out loud in a crowded place, without considering that it might be triggering if anybody nearby was a victim of abuse, was thoughtless and insensitive. I think both of my friends were really surprised and one of them, to my surprise, said something to the effect of, wow how did you get to be so sensitive about these things. And to be honest, I don't think of myself as a particularly sensitive person.
But the fact that neither of them reacted the way I did made me think about it. The only reason I could think of was fandom. Seriously, the entire time I've been involved in fandom, even peripherally, I've been surrounded by intelligent, thoughtful, educated, passionate people. I seriously doubt that without being exposed to the (sometimes very intimate) thoughts and ramblings of all of you guys, I would be a completely different person. I think differently, I think. I'm not saying that my reaction to the girl in the dining hall was the right one or that my friends are ignorant, mostly I just want to say thank you, so much, for letting me listen to your opinions and angst and ravings and rages about the world, it means so much to me.
Thanks guys ♥
On a more adorable note, if anybody hasn't seen this video, oh good heavens so sweet.
Click to view