it'll all be alright
so I've avoided saying what i'm about to say...cause i didn't feel i needed to say it but that's a load of bull and I have to say it at least once ...clearly even if it's bunk so that it was said and I can really move on.
I've gained weight...
naturally i'd be upset because of all the socital issues that come with this, aside from the personal issues...but heres the thing.
I'm not.
ONLY BECAUSE:
the reasons for which the weight was gained.
it was unconcious however...
i have let go of a lot in my life, some on purpose(smo) and some because they were taken from me(lov)
there are other things i have been battling bigger than my weight..punn intended you know that...like my legs...I'm allergic to dust for cryin out loud...and damnit my legs are clear ...not totally scarless just yet but well on their way...
I didn't realized just what i had been thru until when in westport, i wore shorts and on a way too regular basis comments were made about how bit up i was or how my legs looked aweful...and i explained that they don't know shit cause my legs were better than ever...
then i saw my dad...and he was so proud of how good my legs looked...
I don't care if i gained a few pounds if i never have to wake up to my legs bleeding again...
Heres the thing...among others...because of my state of being and the people I met and their state of being...I'm making that healthy live style change...it's cheezy i know. It's hard...and it will take time becuase of the way i'm doing it...but i'm exercising and eating right and ...i'm sure it will eventually pay off.
thank you...
you know what my goal is? ultimately i just want to go back to what i was before...maybe loose 30 to 40 pounds...
I'm thinking my goal will be to have lost the weight or inches rather, gained the muscle... and maintain my live style in a year!
So here we go...
I've gained weight...
naturally i'd be upset because of all the socital issues that come with this, aside from the personal issues...but heres the thing.
I'm not.
ONLY BECAUSE:
the reasons for which the weight was gained.
it was unconcious however...
i have let go of a lot in my life, some on purpose(smo) and some because they were taken from me(lov)
there are other things i have been battling bigger than my weight..punn intended you know that...like my legs...I'm allergic to dust for cryin out loud...and damnit my legs are clear ...not totally scarless just yet but well on their way...
I didn't realized just what i had been thru until when in westport, i wore shorts and on a way too regular basis comments were made about how bit up i was or how my legs looked aweful...and i explained that they don't know shit cause my legs were better than ever...
then i saw my dad...and he was so proud of how good my legs looked...
I don't care if i gained a few pounds if i never have to wake up to my legs bleeding again...
Heres the thing...among others...because of my state of being and the people I met and their state of being...I'm making that healthy live style change...it's cheezy i know. It's hard...and it will take time becuase of the way i'm doing it...but i'm exercising and eating right and ...i'm sure it will eventually pay off.
thank you...
you know what my goal is? ultimately i just want to go back to what i was before...maybe loose 30 to 40 pounds...
I'm thinking my goal will be to have lost the weight or inches rather, gained the muscle... and maintain my live style in a year!
So here we go...