day 2: shock you like you won't believe
i've been trying and failing to sleep in for a while, but fear not! this is a success story. i didn't really leave my bed until noon today, so!
when i finally got up, i realized that my birth certificate had come in while i wasn't looking! so i hurried up and got dressed and went out to transfer funds and write the check and finish allt he shit for my passport. on my way, of course, i run into joe. D=
brief run-down on joe: had a class with him last fall and crushed on him so hard and could not for the life of me speak to him or like get up the nerve to sit next to him (except that time when he came to sit next to me, and i felt like the most awkward person in the fucking world, because GOD. FAIL.). i mean, two days a week i would call john to freak the fuck out at him while he tried to convince me to drop my pencil so that joe would pick it up and we'd start talking. no, really. that was john's genius plan. anyway, the semester ended and i never really spoke to him and that was the end of it, right?
ONLY NOT, because he was at the Day of Silence march (and i can't believe i never wrote about this!) on campus back in april. like, i was walking along next to arturo and someone taps my shoulder from behind and it's motherfucking joe whatthefuck! and then he hugs me. O.O it was absolute insanity. and THAT was my moment, right? the talk to him, to ask him why his arm was in a sling, to say something?? ONLY NOT BECAUSE WE HAD BOTH TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE so i resorted to trying to send him messages with my eyebrows (i had pink duct tape on my mouth! i couldn't even smile! what the fuck!). suffice to say: shit was fucked up. after the march, i caught up to him, gave him a hug and waved before walking off to the willow tree. i was feeling particularly bold, so it sucks that i ran into him at the least opportune time EVER, but i resolved to speak to/hit on/DO SOMETHING the next time i saw him.
only, the next time i saw him i was walking up the street with lara trynna find kory so that we could go to the park, and he was standing outside cafe med on his phone. it would have been rude to interrupt, so i smiled and waved and kept going.
((sidenote: this was the day that the dude selling incense on the corner called me a queen and told me i was beautiful.))
so i'm like NEXT TIME. >=| only. i saw him today in the midst of my passport rush, and y'all know how stressed i am about not bein able to go to the caribbean. so i'm crossing the street in front of the school and realize that he is, in actualfact, standing on the corner i am walking towards. and has already noticed me, and it waving at me in that way that guys do. you know that way? that 'i know you're being awkward right now but i'm just going to be friendly and pretend i don't notice' way?? (and, yea, only 2 or 3 guys have ever done that, as far as i've noticed, but the other guy was louis, so. let's not go there.) anyway, i wave and smile like i had just noticed him, and take off my headphones like "hey! how are you?" followed by a completely unsubtle glance at the womyn he was with. he smiled back and said he was fine and asked how i am and i was like "i'm great! i'm... *glances around* in a hurry, *grimace*. it was great to see you though!" and i proceeded to pretty much dart away, but not without taking a completely unsubtle look to see if they were holding hands (because you know how people stand close together and it's difficult to tell sometimes? yea, that).
so basically. i fail. =(. hard. like, a lot. it's totally ridiculous. and sad.
i know that i had a full semester of opportunity, but i knew it was bad timing. i was still very much heartbroken about the louis thing and getting involved with another dude who just happens to be a philospophy major who just happens to be into punk music (i'm pretty sure) would be pretty much the worst idea ever. all in its own time, with its own reasons, i suppose.
but maybe, in the future? like the next time we see each other, i should initiate something? maybe... give him my number or something?! D= i'm so awful at this. pls help, flist.
speaking of louis! i'm kindof over it. like, i look back on the old entries about my feelings and they're not relevant anymore. i don't cry anymore (except when i woke up from that nightmare, but i wasn't ready to have my senses assaulted with so much shit, okay) and i really rarely think of him. it's really nice, y'all. =)
i don't know why i want to mention this now, but i also maybe have a crush on one of my students from the semester that just ended. she's kindof amazing. but. i don't knowww.
okay, i suppose that's enough ranting for now? have a great day!
when i finally got up, i realized that my birth certificate had come in while i wasn't looking! so i hurried up and got dressed and went out to transfer funds and write the check and finish allt he shit for my passport. on my way, of course, i run into joe. D=
brief run-down on joe: had a class with him last fall and crushed on him so hard and could not for the life of me speak to him or like get up the nerve to sit next to him (except that time when he came to sit next to me, and i felt like the most awkward person in the fucking world, because GOD. FAIL.). i mean, two days a week i would call john to freak the fuck out at him while he tried to convince me to drop my pencil so that joe would pick it up and we'd start talking. no, really. that was john's genius plan. anyway, the semester ended and i never really spoke to him and that was the end of it, right?
ONLY NOT, because he was at the Day of Silence march (and i can't believe i never wrote about this!) on campus back in april. like, i was walking along next to arturo and someone taps my shoulder from behind and it's motherfucking joe whatthefuck! and then he hugs me. O.O it was absolute insanity. and THAT was my moment, right? the talk to him, to ask him why his arm was in a sling, to say something?? ONLY NOT BECAUSE WE HAD BOTH TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE so i resorted to trying to send him messages with my eyebrows (i had pink duct tape on my mouth! i couldn't even smile! what the fuck!). suffice to say: shit was fucked up. after the march, i caught up to him, gave him a hug and waved before walking off to the willow tree. i was feeling particularly bold, so it sucks that i ran into him at the least opportune time EVER, but i resolved to speak to/hit on/DO SOMETHING the next time i saw him.
only, the next time i saw him i was walking up the street with lara trynna find kory so that we could go to the park, and he was standing outside cafe med on his phone. it would have been rude to interrupt, so i smiled and waved and kept going.
((sidenote: this was the day that the dude selling incense on the corner called me a queen and told me i was beautiful.))
so i'm like NEXT TIME. >=| only. i saw him today in the midst of my passport rush, and y'all know how stressed i am about not bein able to go to the caribbean. so i'm crossing the street in front of the school and realize that he is, in actualfact, standing on the corner i am walking towards. and has already noticed me, and it waving at me in that way that guys do. you know that way? that 'i know you're being awkward right now but i'm just going to be friendly and pretend i don't notice' way?? (and, yea, only 2 or 3 guys have ever done that, as far as i've noticed, but the other guy was louis, so. let's not go there.) anyway, i wave and smile like i had just noticed him, and take off my headphones like "hey! how are you?" followed by a completely unsubtle glance at the womyn he was with. he smiled back and said he was fine and asked how i am and i was like "i'm great! i'm... *glances around* in a hurry, *grimace*. it was great to see you though!" and i proceeded to pretty much dart away, but not without taking a completely unsubtle look to see if they were holding hands (because you know how people stand close together and it's difficult to tell sometimes? yea, that).
so basically. i fail. =(. hard. like, a lot. it's totally ridiculous. and sad.
i know that i had a full semester of opportunity, but i knew it was bad timing. i was still very much heartbroken about the louis thing and getting involved with another dude who just happens to be a philospophy major who just happens to be into punk music (i'm pretty sure) would be pretty much the worst idea ever. all in its own time, with its own reasons, i suppose.
but maybe, in the future? like the next time we see each other, i should initiate something? maybe... give him my number or something?! D= i'm so awful at this. pls help, flist.
speaking of louis! i'm kindof over it. like, i look back on the old entries about my feelings and they're not relevant anymore. i don't cry anymore (except when i woke up from that nightmare, but i wasn't ready to have my senses assaulted with so much shit, okay) and i really rarely think of him. it's really nice, y'all. =)
i don't know why i want to mention this now, but i also maybe have a crush on one of my students from the semester that just ended. she's kindof amazing. but. i don't knowww.
okay, i suppose that's enough ranting for now? have a great day!