nola-bound
flight leaves for new orleans tomorrow. our suitcases are packed. mandy came by today and got the key to the apartment... she'll drive us to the airport tomorrow and then will likely camp out here with pipistrello while we're gone. i left her the choice of a bottle of wine (pinot grigio or white zinfandel) from the fridge for catsitting. ;o) i texted james' dad to remind him i arrive tomorrow evening. he offered to meet up tomorrow night, and offered a ride from the airport. i declined the ride, but gave him kim's address to meet up in the evening. i don't know if he wants to have dinner, or coffee, or just talk for a few moments. i don't want to press him into anything, and i don't know that i could even ask anything. i'll have the ring to give back to him, and he found the camera i gave james to give back to me. he signed his last text, "love, j" which gave me a twinge of aching sadness and longing. they have the same names, since james was a junior, and his dad has been supportive and kind through all of this. the "love" portion wasn't unusual, but the combination... this goes back to not only james, but jeremy, too, i suppose. someday, maybe, jhonen will sign his emails to me, "love, j" and i will always feel the weight of history in those five letters. i have silk calla lilies, an old key, and a st michael medallion to leave at james' tomb while in nola...
the kids are excited, looking foward to the parades and time with kim & her kids, as am i. oddly, i'm really looking forward to time off with bela and jhonen. i rarely get to fly with them... i fly for vacations, and they fly in the summers, but we don't fly together much, and we haven't taken a vacation together in some time. it was 3 years ago we were last in nola for mardi gras together, and we had jason with us then also. the year before that (4 years ago) we flew out together... was that our last vacation together, just the three of us?
i need a shower, and i need to calm down and sleep. i feel anxious and jittery. excitement, but i also feel like things affect me more lately... the wall isn't as strong as it used to be.
p.s. jhonen is getting stinky armpits the past few days... a new development, and one i'm not sure i'm quite ready for! he's 9 1/2... i think i was more ready for bela to hit puberty than i am with him. because he's the baby? or because he's a boy? *sigh* time to get boy deodorant.
the kids are excited, looking foward to the parades and time with kim & her kids, as am i. oddly, i'm really looking forward to time off with bela and jhonen. i rarely get to fly with them... i fly for vacations, and they fly in the summers, but we don't fly together much, and we haven't taken a vacation together in some time. it was 3 years ago we were last in nola for mardi gras together, and we had jason with us then also. the year before that (4 years ago) we flew out together... was that our last vacation together, just the three of us?
i need a shower, and i need to calm down and sleep. i feel anxious and jittery. excitement, but i also feel like things affect me more lately... the wall isn't as strong as it used to be.
p.s. jhonen is getting stinky armpits the past few days... a new development, and one i'm not sure i'm quite ready for! he's 9 1/2... i think i was more ready for bela to hit puberty than i am with him. because he's the baby? or because he's a boy? *sigh* time to get boy deodorant.