I'm going to start writing here again. So much has changed, but I want to keep track of my thoughts even when doing so is difficult.

Well, I just have to say one little thing about my site, and that is that it is closed. For good. I don't think I will be having a personal website ever again. I have deleted all of my files, one purpose, and all I have kept of my work on disc are the small versions of my past layouts. I was just sitting there reading The Weight of Water By Anita ( Read more... )

Welp... I graduated!

I know it's just an eighth-grade thing, but it was a big eighth-grade thing for me. I don't know. Anyway, I was pretty nervous to give my speech, because there were so many people there and everything. My mom said I turned white. Like I'm not always white anyway! But I did a good job on my speech, or so I think. That means that ( Read more... )

Well, tomorrow I am graduating. It is scary to think that the year is over. I mean, tomorrow is my last day of school, and all we'll be doing is practicing for graduation. And, tomorrow I have to make a speech. I wanted to be valedvictorian so bad, and now I am, and I am glad. However, I have to make a speech. I mean, I knew that I would, really, ( Read more... )

Today I need to go with my dad. Need to. Not from inside, though. From the world. In other words, I don't want to, but it's not an option. I have to. I need to. I mean to say that he has been 'moved out', although none of his stuff is gone yet, for about three months, I think, and I haven't been to his house or even out to see him once. I have seen ( Read more... )

I finally found the strength, interest, whatever to actually update this. It doesn't matter because I am the only one who ever reads this anyway, but I have decided to try to be a little less sparse in my updates.
Anyway... everything seems to be coming up so soon. 8th grade Awards Night is June 6, 2002. My brother graduates on June 7, 2002, during ( Read more... )

It's been a while. It's been a long, contemplative while. I don't mean just since I have written in my journal. I mean it's been a while since... a lot of things happened. I think I am starting to heal. I think. Knock on wood.
Sometimes I'll be walking somewhere and I'll just feel this wave come over me. It's this feeling of being really confused. ( Read more... )

Right now, I can smell the buttery waffles that my mom is making in the cold kitchen. I can hear my little brother singing along to Creed or something on his portable CD player. I can hear the birds chirping cheerfully outside. What would it be like to just... fly away? To move from one place to another, seeing fragments of the world? Blue, green, ( Read more... )

Ha. That title sounds like some salesman trying to sell his product. Acting like it will make you happy. That's another thing I have learned: posessions won't make me happy. No matter what. I am trying so hard to make myself a better person. It's what I want most. I'm not asking for perfection from myself, although that wouldn't be bad. I just want ( Read more... )

I am sorry that I am never here. Not that anyone but myself ever reads this. That's not why I started this, though. I didn't start this to get people to read it and then become fast friends with them and become popular with the livejournal community, if you can call it that. I started it when my site was down; when I didn't have a place to blog; ( Read more... )