(no subject)

[unico_love]

I have been very tired amd the usual illness problems. Imam upset I had to cancel my haircut and I haven't been able to get a cleaning at the dentist all year.. The one time I would have been well enough they cancelled on me without contacting me. The nausea and retchung issues, in addition to the daily unexoected seizures putting me to sleep means the dentist isn't a good idea...Yesterday I woke up at 7pm after falling asleep midnight the night before. I fell asleep around 6 am and got up after 3pm today. I felt sick to my stomach all night but finally a bad, intense drea, forced me to get up to try amd erase the memories. It took place in my childhood home, where we were all living. And the neighbor's home I lived in for many years was bought by a new family and din't look like the real house. My childhood street is a quiet dead end street where most people had kids within a few years of each other and we all played together and they all kept in touch. My mom's longtime boyfriend is a man from down the street and she moved into his house. We all played outside, even kids who also like video games. It seems so odd to me that other kids from my generation didn't grow up thst way. New people weree always an odd and strange thing... Like potentially disruptive of the patterns we always had. Some of the kids from my generation never left there or moved back home in adulthood. I miss most of my childhood from there.

Yet nowI don't want to know my neighbors or have them interfere with my life, At the condo I am in. Talking briefly is ok but I feel like my disabilities will confise them. And I just feel awkward. My friends are mainly through my church now.

I refuse to look at my childhood home which is being rented out until it is torn down.