Lets put his picture up in walmart....
ummm..... so I've been pretty okay lately... not too depressed... moreso angry.... the people I work with (with the exception of my friends) drive me insane and I want to kill em... its getting fucking ridiculous... its worse than fucking high school... seriously I hope they choke and die.... I'm not gonna go into details cause it will upset me more....
yeah... yesterday amber and I worked together so we went to lunch together it was nice cept for the fact that the fucking wetback at el pollo loco was rushing me and forced me to fuck up everyones order.... so after work I called amber... and we talked for a good 45 mins... we talked about how gene has disapeared off the face of the planet and how he's not even returning susie's calls and she's like his best friend... so we think he's dead... for some moments I hope he is then it would be so much easier for me to excuse the fact that he's being a total douche bag... I don't know how much longer I can do this... ya know? just excusing his actions... I'm gonna collapse under the weight of the blame I've pushed on myself... fuck whatever....amber thinks we should post his pictures in walmart...haha...fuck I love amber..but anyway, I'm doing what I have to, to get my life in order... I'm not relying on him for shit... I enrolled in school today and soon amber and I are getting a place together cause adrian is moving to northridge with his mom cause he wants to be lazy... haha.. I need to find a new job or get transfer... thats the next thing on my to do list.... that and get my driver's license... I'm gonn get my shit together... fuck everyone... and fuck me... this is for my child... I now have a reason to straighten out... may not be the best circumstances but whats done is done and I'm gonna give this child the best life possible... I'm not gonna be lazy anymore... I refuse to... this is gonna be self sacrafice on my part... I'm gonna give this kid everything I ever needed but didn't get... I'm gonna love him more than I've ever loved anyone... today my mom was questioning where gene is and if I had talked to him and she asked me if how long I was going out with him... and I told her I don't know where he is and we weren't going out... and she tried to be all dramatic.. talking about I can't believe you were just having sex with him.. and I told her okay.. stop it whats done is done... and I don't care what you believe.. cause in reality she's noone to judge me... cause no matter what I've done.. she's done ten times worse... fuck it...
thursday I turn 19... I'm not excited at all... I don't even care... I'm not sad or mad... I just feel complete apathy about having another birthday... eh....
<3
Ruby
yeah... yesterday amber and I worked together so we went to lunch together it was nice cept for the fact that the fucking wetback at el pollo loco was rushing me and forced me to fuck up everyones order.... so after work I called amber... and we talked for a good 45 mins... we talked about how gene has disapeared off the face of the planet and how he's not even returning susie's calls and she's like his best friend... so we think he's dead... for some moments I hope he is then it would be so much easier for me to excuse the fact that he's being a total douche bag... I don't know how much longer I can do this... ya know? just excusing his actions... I'm gonna collapse under the weight of the blame I've pushed on myself... fuck whatever....amber thinks we should post his pictures in walmart...haha...fuck I love amber..but anyway, I'm doing what I have to, to get my life in order... I'm not relying on him for shit... I enrolled in school today and soon amber and I are getting a place together cause adrian is moving to northridge with his mom cause he wants to be lazy... haha.. I need to find a new job or get transfer... thats the next thing on my to do list.... that and get my driver's license... I'm gonn get my shit together... fuck everyone... and fuck me... this is for my child... I now have a reason to straighten out... may not be the best circumstances but whats done is done and I'm gonna give this child the best life possible... I'm not gonna be lazy anymore... I refuse to... this is gonna be self sacrafice on my part... I'm gonna give this kid everything I ever needed but didn't get... I'm gonna love him more than I've ever loved anyone... today my mom was questioning where gene is and if I had talked to him and she asked me if how long I was going out with him... and I told her I don't know where he is and we weren't going out... and she tried to be all dramatic.. talking about I can't believe you were just having sex with him.. and I told her okay.. stop it whats done is done... and I don't care what you believe.. cause in reality she's noone to judge me... cause no matter what I've done.. she's done ten times worse... fuck it...
thursday I turn 19... I'm not excited at all... I don't even care... I'm not sad or mad... I just feel complete apathy about having another birthday... eh....
<3
Ruby