how i'm wishing to simply see things through.
it's so defeating to see someone pass you on the highway going mock 90.
i bruised about 18 egos today in my unnecessary running back and forth between omaha and nebraska city today. now my right thigh is sore and my memory even more failing than i thought it was before.
speaking of bruised egos. at the kimya dawson show tonight [which was very unspectacular. not her, of course. but the crowd was rude and large in number. not my tastes. plus i think my niche of going to concerts alone is really getting to me. i can't do it anymore] i lost a lot of respect for a friend of mine.
first of all, being a person with a broken heart and feeling of detachment and just general discontent with where i am in my life right now - physically, geographically, and mentally - i can't help but feel like an outsider when i'm surrounded by couples. most of the time this doesn't bother me because honestly, they aren't the cutest thing... but every once in a while i'll see an attractive couple. one in which the guy is someone i can see myself with.
well tonight my heart jumped when i saw my friend todd, who works with daria at drastic plastic. granted, this todd is 35 years old. but he is an all around great, attractive guy. he cooked dinner for us just last sunday. the following monday i went downtown to complete a photography project and i went to see todd and daria. and there she was. my archnemisis. meg.
meg has been the girl that i've envied and borderline hated for about 5 years now. cute girl, but she always makes me feel like i'm not worthy to talk to her. complete caffeine dreams, hotel frank groupie, thrift store whore.
daria thinks differently, and finds her the nicest person in the world. so i assume that if she were in my shoes, and saw her and todd together at the kimya show, caressing and sharing kisses, she would giggle and congratulate them.
me on the other hand, i'm outraged. meg, as cute as she is, does not deserve todd. she is a 20 year old alcoholic (where as todd has sailed that boat and moved on) who really has nothing intelligent going on upstairs.
now i know i am in no place to pass judgement. i am not the cute, indie scene chick, and i'm sure as not the brightest crayon in the pencil box. but i know a good guy when i meet him. and i feel like i should be looking out for todd, in some odd younger sister sort of way.
plus! just TWO weeks ago meg was fooling around with another good guy friend of mine, bennet. although the grapevine told me it was merely a drunken hook-up... STILL! from fooling around with a 19 year old guy to hopping into bed with a 35 year old man, you get the gist of what type of girl she is.
WHY IS THE WHORE RABBIT WINNING ALL THE RACES THAT US TORTOISES DESERVE!?
i'm sick of this bullshit. i'm sick of it bothering me, most importantly.
christ.
i bruised about 18 egos today in my unnecessary running back and forth between omaha and nebraska city today. now my right thigh is sore and my memory even more failing than i thought it was before.
speaking of bruised egos. at the kimya dawson show tonight [which was very unspectacular. not her, of course. but the crowd was rude and large in number. not my tastes. plus i think my niche of going to concerts alone is really getting to me. i can't do it anymore] i lost a lot of respect for a friend of mine.
first of all, being a person with a broken heart and feeling of detachment and just general discontent with where i am in my life right now - physically, geographically, and mentally - i can't help but feel like an outsider when i'm surrounded by couples. most of the time this doesn't bother me because honestly, they aren't the cutest thing... but every once in a while i'll see an attractive couple. one in which the guy is someone i can see myself with.
well tonight my heart jumped when i saw my friend todd, who works with daria at drastic plastic. granted, this todd is 35 years old. but he is an all around great, attractive guy. he cooked dinner for us just last sunday. the following monday i went downtown to complete a photography project and i went to see todd and daria. and there she was. my archnemisis. meg.
meg has been the girl that i've envied and borderline hated for about 5 years now. cute girl, but she always makes me feel like i'm not worthy to talk to her. complete caffeine dreams, hotel frank groupie, thrift store whore.
daria thinks differently, and finds her the nicest person in the world. so i assume that if she were in my shoes, and saw her and todd together at the kimya show, caressing and sharing kisses, she would giggle and congratulate them.
me on the other hand, i'm outraged. meg, as cute as she is, does not deserve todd. she is a 20 year old alcoholic (where as todd has sailed that boat and moved on) who really has nothing intelligent going on upstairs.
now i know i am in no place to pass judgement. i am not the cute, indie scene chick, and i'm sure as not the brightest crayon in the pencil box. but i know a good guy when i meet him. and i feel like i should be looking out for todd, in some odd younger sister sort of way.
plus! just TWO weeks ago meg was fooling around with another good guy friend of mine, bennet. although the grapevine told me it was merely a drunken hook-up... STILL! from fooling around with a 19 year old guy to hopping into bed with a 35 year old man, you get the gist of what type of girl she is.
WHY IS THE WHORE RABBIT WINNING ALL THE RACES THAT US TORTOISES DESERVE!?
i'm sick of this bullshit. i'm sick of it bothering me, most importantly.
christ.