Circle (5)

[oatmeal_peril]

Circle
Pairing(s): HaeHyuk, HyukMin
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Incest, sex, character death, disturbing themes, gender switch (Sungmin), horror, graphic gore, reference to under age sex etc.

Summary: Donghae does everything to protect and care for his twin brother, Hyukjae. No one comes between them. No one.
A life full of lies and deceit and an unconditional love that borders on dangerous; Donghae and Hyukjae are always running away from their dark past, but how long can the twins keep running for?



Sungmin has asked Hyukjae whether she should come and pick him up but he declined quickly. He didn’t have to explain why, Sungmin knew that Donghae didn’t like her. Donghae had never made it a secret that he disliked her, he told Hyukjae every opportunity he had that she was “poisonous.” He didn’t trust women, not really. Although he understood that their mother had been very ill when she committed suicide, he had never really seen why a mother would leave two young boys alone like that. Admittedly, their father had been weak too, of course he had been in turmoil because his wife had taken her own life but he had two sons barely ten years of age. Donghae hadn’t seen it that way. Donghae had been a daddy’s boy through and through for as long back as Hyukjae could remember. That was the only way in which the twins differed from each other because Hyukjae was a mummy’s boy.

Sungmin was waiting for him in her car outside the church. She didn’t go to church often; Kyuhyun often asked her to go with him but she declined. ”I know I’m not a good Catholic,” she’d told Hyukjae, ”but I believe... Is that enough?” Hyukjae had smiled at her and nodded though he wasn’t sure. Hyukjae had bought her a rosary with pink beads for her birthday, she told him that she prayed more often since then.
“I’m glad you came.” Sungmin said when Hyukjae got in the car. “I could go on my own but I keep worrying about Jongwoon... I have these dreams where something terrible’s happened. I feel so much better that you’re coming with me.”
He must’ve been crazy to do this. Why on Earth did he say he would go with Sungmin at all?! Maybe there was an opportunity for him to manipulate her; he could suggest that maybe Jongwoon had gone away?
Hyukjae found himself staring at Sungmin as she drove. She didn’t look like her brother, while they were similar in height and perhaps build and were both pale, Jongwoon’s eyes were small and dark comapred to Sungmin’s large, round, bright eyes and her lips were pink, plump and bow shaped unlike Jongwoon’s that had been smaller and darker.
“Hyukjae?” She said, catching his eye. She was blushing.
“Sorry.” He said and averted his gaze. He looked out of the window, watching the markings on the road blur into one, long white line. He found that he was growing more and more awkward with Sungmin. It was as if he didn’t trust himself around her, not just with what he might say but what he might do. Jongwoon’s blood wasn’t the only blood on his hands and he was afraid that it wouldn’t be the last.

By early afternoon, they had reached Sungmin’s hometown. She had always talked fondly of it. It was a small, picturesque fishing community where she had lived with her parents and Jongwoon until she left for Seoul when she started college.
Jongwoon, while he had sounded like a good older brother, had always struck Hyukjae as odd. He had never actually met Jongwoon until the day of his untimely death but Hyukjae was sure that he had been right about him. Jongwoon had lived with his parents until they had retired and moved to Japan where his father had been raised; after that he had moved into a small apartment not too far from his childhood home. He was a fisherman by trade, it seemed that unless you moved away then you were destined to become a fisherman if you were a man. Jongwoon didn’t have many friends, if any at all and the only thing he seemed passionate about was reptiles. He volunteered at a local reptile preservation centre where Sungmin had hinted that there was a girl there who may or may not have been a romantic interest of Jongwoon’s.
Donghae had made Hyukjae relay all this information to him after he killed Jongwoon so that he could assess how long it would take for him to be truly missed. Sungmin had really been the only thing that had worried either of the twins, she was a devoted sister and while her relationship with Jongwoon had taken a turn for the worst recently - she hadn’t given Hyukjae the details but he had guessed it from her not talking about him so much and not seeing him for at least two months - she still loved him and it wouldn’t have been long until she suspected something.

Sungmin pointed out her childhood house as they drove past it. It kind of reminded Hyukjae of his own house only all the houses here were painted all different colours so they looked bright and cheerful. Hyukjae thought that it must have been a good place to grow up.
Jongwoon’s apartment was in a white building with circular windows. Again, the building looked cute from the outside and Hyukjae wished that he had grown up in a place like this. He had always wanted to visit the beach with Donghae because he knew that it would be exactly like this; Donghae’s name meant East Sea but neither of them had ever even seen the sea - on TV doesn’t count. They had grown up in the city, spending most of their time in their bedroom together or lying in their beautiful back garden staring up at the cerulean sky that seemed to stretch on forever, wondering what it would be like to live somewhere where they could run free, feel real grass under their bare feet and have the sun kiss their skin. Hyukjae had wanted to feel burning hot sand between his toes and hear the crash of waves on rocks. It was a silly dream but a dream nonetheless.

Jongwoon’s apartment was on the third floor of a four story building. This was another thing that Hyukjae had noticed about the small town, nothing was too large or outlandish. Jongwoon’s apartment building was the tallest on the block. Hyukjae was beginning to understand how Sungmin was so humble and naive.
They both got out of her car. Today she wasn’t wearing a dress but a short denim shorts and a vest top that came up just short of her navel. Her skin was very pale and looked soft. Hyukjae wet his lips as he watched her lock her car. He wondered why she made him feel like this. He wasn’t even sure what this was. Undoubtedly, she was a beautiful woman but Hyukjae had never felt like this about anyone; she made him blush, she made his heart beat faster, she made him say silly things that he didn’t mean... She made his cock twitch.
Was he betraying Donghae by feeling attracted to her? He didn’t love her, no, he was incapable of loving anyone that wasn’t Donghae, he knew that for a fact. But if she kissed him, if she pressed her soft, warm body to his and let him feel her, let him explore the generous curves of her breasts and the bare skin of her thighs, then he knew that he’d want her; he’d want her ruby lips around his cock, want to fuck her so hard that she screamed his name uncontrollably, he wanted to tear at her snow white flesh, want to feel her, wet and hot, rippling and quivering around him.
But if she never kissed him or let him touch her, that would be okay too. Wouldn’t it?

There was no answer when Sungmin rung the doorbell to Jongwoon’s apartment. Of course there wasn’t.
“M-maybe he’s gone out?” Hyukjae suggested.
Sungmin shook her head. “It’s Saturday, he usually sleeps in on a Saturday and watches sports on TV in the afternoon.”
Hyukjae bit his lower lip. He should have never agreed to come here. This was such a bad idea! He should have convinced Sungmin not to come either! Why was he so stupid?! What would Donghae have done?
He watched Sungmin who had resorted to pounding the door with her small fist, “Jongwoon!” She was calling.
Hyukjae knew what Donghae would have done to her a long time ago.
“Jongwoon! Oppa! Please! It’s me, Sungmin! Let me in! I just want to know if you’re okay! I’m worried!”
A door down the hallway opened and a woman holding an infant glared at Sungmin, “keep the noise down!” She snapped.
“Sorry.” Sungmin said meekly and stepped away from Jongwoon’s apartment. She looked up at Hyukjae. “I don’t know what to do now.”
“I wish there was something I could do but there isn’t.” Hyukjae said. There really wasn’t.
She nodded and sighed. He followed her out of the building. She continued to walk and Hyukjae continued to follow her down a small side alley between two houses until they were met with a beach. Hyukjae had gasped. Sungmin turned around, she smiled up at him.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked. He nodded.

Hyukjae had taken his sneakers off and followed Sungmin onto the beach. Sand soon got stuck between his toes but it felt soft, like he had imagined.
It was a perfect summer’s day.
“I’m so angry.” Sungmin said quietly. Her fists were still balled. They sat under the shade of an umbrella left abandoned by a couple who had walked off hand in hand to the food kiosk.
“Sungmin?”
“Jongwoon’s being so childish!” She cried. “I’m a grown woman, aren’t I?”
She turned her eyes to Hyukjae. “I...Well... Well of course.” He stammered.
“So why does he insist on treating me like a child! I can see who I want to, can’t I?”
Hyukjae nodded.
Sungmin looked out at the ocean, “he was becoming overprotective of me because I was telling him about someone I like...”
Suddenly, Hyukjae remembered something. Something about what had happened when he had met Jongwoon for the first time.
“Do... Do I know the person you like?” He asked tentatively.
Sungmin’s cheeks flushed. “Yes.”
Hyukjae felt his heart beating faster again. It was uncomfortable. He felt nauseous. Sungmin got to her feet quickly.
“I’ll get us sodas.” She said, still blushing, “it’s really hot today.”

She walked towards the kiosk while Hyukjae remained sitting down. He wanted to go home, to Donghae. He wanted Donghae’s reassuring arms around him to shut those horrible thoughts out. He was supposed to enjoy his first time at the beach with Sungmin but he couldn’t. What if she put two and two together and..?
Several children ran past Hyukjae laughing and squealing into the beautiful, turquoise water of the ocean. They splashed each other and shrieked.
Hyukjae remembered...

----

The water of the pool was azure, or maybe it was because the tiles at the bottom of the pool were painted that colour. The boys had gone there because it was hot, it was summer; Hyukjae, Donghae, Ryeowook and Heechul. It was the only outdoor pool in the city and was much easier to get to than going to the beach which took several hours by car or even more by train.
Ryeowook paddled in the shallow end with a girl he knew from school while Heechul and Donghae played a game to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest.
“Why don’t you play with us?” Heechul had suggested.
Hyukjae shook his head. He didn’t swim very well. Physically, out of himself and Donghae Hyukjae was smaller and weaker which didn’t help his embarrassment of being in his bathing shorts in public. He had hung around by the side of the pool, the water still made him feel weary. He was still afraid of hands grabbing him and pulling him under.
“Come on, Hyukjae.” Heechul said, swimming over to him and putting an arm around Hyukjae’s boney shoulders. “Play with us!” Hyukjae looked up at his cousin, he had long dark hair and milky skin. He was smiling but Heechul’s smiles were different to other people’s; it was a smirk, a dark, knowing smirk.
Donghae glared at Heechul. “He doesn’t want to, okay?” He said firmly. Heechul rolled his eyes and went back to Donghae.

Hyukjae remained where he was, by the edge of the pool treading water. He looked around at all the children with their parents and felt a pang of jealousy and pain in his chest. Even now, two years after their mother’s suicide, he was still afraid of the water. It had only been because Donghae had held his hand and coaxed him in gently that he’d even gotten in at all. For the first half an hour, he had held onto the side watching Donghae and Heechul splash each other. He didn’t like the way that the water would sometimes splash him or if someone jumped in, a wave would carry him away from the safety his brother or the side that he couldn’t grip onto because his hands were too wet.
He had heard his aunt talking about him to Heechul in the kitchen that morning. “Can’t you take the boys out?” His aunt asked him.
“But mum, I’m supposed to be meeting Sohee later!” Heechul protested.
“You can still meet her but just take the boys somewhere for a couple of hours.”
“But why?” He whined.
“I’m worried about Hyukjae. He’s so quiet, he doesn’t like to go out. He just sits in his room.”
“Well both his parents did die just last year.”
“Donghae’s coping so well...” She mused.
“If you ask me, Donghae’s the weird one. It’s probably more normal to be like Hyukjae than Donghae.”
Hyukjae heard his aunt sigh, “please Heechul.”
Heechul sighed. “Fine.”

Suddenly, he felt something grab his ankle. Icy fingers pulling him. He screamed but water gushed into his mouth as his head went under. His eyes were screwed up but he could see someone that he couldn’t make them out. He swallowed great mouthfuls of water that burned the inside of his throat. Bubbles came out of his nose as he choked and water rushed through his open fingers as he floundered hopelessly. He was drowning, the withered hands had found him and they were going to kill him.
He didn’t know how long he was down there but his vision had clouded somewhat and his lungs felt like they had shrunken to the size of eggs, they were heavy. His breath was stuck somewhere between his lungs and the water cascading down into his throat. His vision blackened.
He was released and resurfaced, the air felt cold, like he had been slapped around the face. He was weak and gasping.
“Hyukjae!” Donghae swam to him. “What happened? Are you okay?”
Hyukjae had tears streaming down his cheeks and he coughed up water as he tried to speak. Heechul surfaced too. He was cackling.
“What did you do to him?” Donghae demanded.
“Lighten up! He’s fine. It’s just a joke, right Hyukjae. Come Donghae, I bet I can beat you this time!”
Heechul disappeared under the water again. Hyukjae saw Donghae’s eyes flash before he followed.
Hyukjae could see both of their blurry figures in the water beneath him but couldn’t make out what was happening. He continued to cough and catch his breath. Ryeowook was still playing in the shallow end, oblivious. No one around him seemed to have noticed what had happened. Even the life guard, an overweight and middle aged man, was too busy talking to a girl who was too pretty for him. Everyone was preoccupied. Hyukjae’s small chest rose and fell rapidly. The warm air had turned cold and he was shaking.

He went to the side and clung onto it again. As he looked back to where Donghae and Heechul had disappeared, he saw something murky and dark floating up to the surface. The water had turned almost black.
Suddenly, Donghae’s head broke the surface of the water. He was panting.
“Get out!” he said sharply. Hyukjae’s eyes widened and fixed on the dark water. Donghae repeated himself and grabbed Hyukjae by the hand, pulling him out of the pool. “Are you okay?” He asked Hyukjae, stroking his face. Hyukjae’s teeth were chattering, he was shivering. “Did he hurt you?”
Hyukjae shook his head. “What... What happened?” He asked Donghae.
A girl in the pool screamed. The body of a boy floated face downwards in the centre of the pool. The black water was spreading.
Donghae took Hyukjae’s face in his hands and spoke quickly. “If he dies, you say that he jumped in and must’ve hit his head, okay?”
Hyukjae’s eyes widened still. “Donghae..?”
“Okay?” Donghae repeated urgently. “You say we had gotten out of the pool to get something to drink and when we came back he was like this. Okay?”
Hyukjae’s eyes flickered to the pool where people were screaming, the lifeguard had jumped in.
“Okay Hyukjae?!”
“Yes.” He whispered, “okay.”
Donghae took his brother’s hand again and ushered him away from the poolside to get him a towel because he was still shaking.

They pulled Heechul’s body from the pool. Ryeowook was screaming. Hyukjae looked into Heechul’s marble like eyes for the final time. They looked back at him but they were lifeless.
They went to the hospital in the back of the ambulance. Their aunt and uncle were already waiting. They were there overnight, their aunt and uncle pacing outside Heechul’s hospital room, Hyukjae curled into Donghae in the family waiting room, holding his hand tight. Ryeowook had cried himself to sleep by the time the doctor had announced Heechul’s death. The injuries to his head were too extensive, there was nothing that could be done for him.
Hyukjae had looked into his brother’s hardened face as the doctor said those words. “I was protecting you,” Donghae had whispered to him in bed that night.
“I know.” Hyukjae replied. “Thank you.”

-----

Donghae woke up with a start. For a moment, he could hear water rushing in his ears and see the beautiful face of his cousin staring back at him but it washed away as he sat up. He was panting. He had fallen asleep again. The job at the hospital was taking it’s toll on him. Talk of death had never bothered him before but this time... Something had changed. He didn’t dare go to the incinerator anymore and when he was pushing the still warm, corpses of patients to the morgue, he had awful nightmares of them suddenly sitting up stiff on the trolly with eyes as black as night and shrieking at him like a banshee; their claw like hands with blue hued skin would grab at him, jaws at strange angles while they hissed and snapped at him.
“You look skinny.” The Chinese nurse Han Geng had said to him at work the day before, “are you eating well?”
Donghae shrugged. “I’ve been a little stressed lately.” He was sitting behind the reception desk, resting his ehad on his arms.
“You should make time to eat though, Donghae. You’ll get ill.”
Donghae shrugged again.
“Maybe... Maybe you’d like to eat with me sometime?” Han Geng suggested. Donghae looked up at him. He was taller than Donghae by a touch, his skin was tanned and his eyes were light brown. He had jet black hair and a handsome face. He smiled shyly at Donghae.
“Maybe.”
Han Geng put his head to one side, “you’re not looking too hot today, Donghae. I’m not busy at the moment, do you want me to check you over?”
Donghae noticed that Han Geng wasn’t flirting with him anymore, he genuinely looked concerned.
“I’m fine.” Donghae had lied, “I should just get some more sleep and eat more.”
Han Geng’s smile returned, “well my offer still stands if you ever want to take me up on it.”
Donghae nodded.

He couldn’t sleep well at night. He didn’t want to admit to Hyukjae that the dark frightened him sometimes. The darkness of their bedroom terrified him; he had visions of Jongwoon’s face coming out of the darkness, his body hovering Hyukjae and himself as they slept His face would come closer to them as they lay in bed together, until it was but an inch from them, his cold, dead, eyes staring at them but not seeing, like Heechul’s.
Heechul had been different. Heechul had angered him from an early age, ever since the incident when he frightened Hyukjae about the imaginary girl in the basement at their house all the way up until the day that he died. Heechul was a vile boy who didn’t know when enough was enough. What if he hadn’t let Hyukjae up to the surface and Hyukjae had drowned? He was protecting Hyukjae and that was the truth. But hadn’t he been protecting Hyukjae from Jongwoon too? Jongwoon had come to their home intentionally to hurt Hyukjae and Donghae wouldn’t stand for that. But the question had crossed his mind since, how many more people had to die for Donghae to feel completely satisfied that Hyukjae was safe?
Maybe he could tell himself that Heechul had been an accident. He hadn’t planned to kill their cousin, it had just happened. He had gotten so angry that he had wanted to crush Heechul; he remembered his jaw clenching, he remembered feeling the blood pounding in his ears and the overwhelming urge to hurt Heechul had overtaken him until he was almost blind to anything else. Heechul had to hurt because he had hurt Hyukjae.
And Jongwoon? Maybe he had been another accident...

It was then that Donghae’s eyes were drawn to outside. There were flashing lights. As he stood up he could see a police car. He felt his mouth become dry and he trembled, suddenly feeling cold. Was this it? Had they found the badly buried body up in the mountains and found some of his DNA there, tracing it back to him? He should have been more careful. If they were caught then it would be all his fault for not thinking things through properly. He couldn’t have them go to prison! He wouldn’t be taken away from Hyukjae, not when Hyukjae needed him so.

In a daze, Donghae went outside. Jungsoo was standing outside his house too.
“What’s happening?” He asked Jungsoo, walking over to him.
“There’s been a break in across the road.” He replied. Jungsoo’s looked Donghae up and down. Donghae had nothing on his feet. He smiled politely at Donghae, “you look tired. Were you sleeping?” He must’ve thought that he was Hyukjae.
Donghae nodded. “I must have dozed off.”
Donghae’s eye was caught by a well dressed police officer across the street. He wasn’t in uniform so he must have been a detective of some sort but he was definitely with the police. He was looking over at Donghae. He was a tall, regal looking man. He was well built and muscular with short, slicked black hair and a face that looked like it had been carved by angels. He didn’t look away when his eyes met Donghae’s, on the contrary, he continued to stare at Donghae. It was Donghae that looked away first.
“I think you should go back to bed. You don’t look at all well, Hyukjae.” Jungsoo said to him, confirming his suspicions.
Donghae nodded and went back inside, not before looking back at the detective.

----

It was dark by the time they got back. Sungmin dropped Hyukjae off at home this time because Donghae would be at work.
“Thank you for coming with me today.” Sungmin said to Hyukjae again.
Hyukjae shrugged, “I only wish there was something more I can do.”
Sungmin didn’t say anything to this.
“Good night, Sungmin.”
Hyukjae got out of the car. He was about to go inside when he heard the car door slam shut. “Wait!” Sungmin ran to him. her eyes were shining with tears. “There is something you can do, Hyukjae.”
Before he knew it, she had kissed him, like something out of a teen drama. He was frozen to the spot, not kissing her back but not pushing her away. Her lips were soft and when he did kiss back, she tasted good. Her kiss was gentle and tentative, her hands grasped at the fabric of Hyukjae’s shirt and he could feel her soft breath on his face.
When she pulled away, she looked embarrassed. She didn’t say anything as she went back to the car and got inside. Hyukjae was rooted to the spot, staring after her. He’d felt it again, like a jerk behind his navel telling him to ravish her. There was something so carnal about his attraction to her, the need to have her beneath him turned on and helpless, moaning breathy moans for more as he relentlessly plunged into her. He wanted to feel her so badly...

He went inside, trying to quash the thoughts but he couldn’t. He was hard. He headed upstairs where he stood in the cold, clerical light of the bathroom, one hand resting against the cool tiles of the wall, the other massaging his dick. Each twist of his fingers was Sungmin’s mouth, her pretty lips closed tight around him working the shaft while her tongue teased the underside of his cock, flicking up to lap at the pre cum that flowed so freely from the tip. She’d moan when he thrust, the tip spiking the back of her throat. Her large eyes would be filmed over with tears when he buried himself in the slick vacuum of her throat; she wouldn’t complain, she’d let him push as far in as he could until she coughed and gagged. When she pulled away, she’d lick her glistening lips and tell him he tasted delicious. Her hand would be between her legs, touching herself. “Hyukjae,” she’d whisper, those swollen lips in an irresistible pout, “I’m all wet.”

Cum spilled over his hand and he gasped, his eyes rolling back as his hips snapped forwards. He stroked out the last of his orgasm and shuddered. He suddenly felt tired.
It wasn’t until he went into the bedroom and saw a lump under the sheets that he knew that Donghae was home. He got in bed carefully beside his twin and tried to curl into him but Donghae had his back to Hyukjae. He was shaking but he wasn’t cold.
“Donghae?” Hyukjae whispered but Donghae didn’t respond. He guessed Donghae was dreaming. Maybe a nightmare. Hyukjae closed his eyes feeling guilty. The twins rarely kept secrets but this would be something that Donghae would never have to know.