Losing my Constitution, Gaining my Charisma
why do i have selective (towards all things that are needed or require work) vision. Last nite i wandered around the house for bout 15 min searching for my philosophy of mind book so i could do my homework at 5 am this morning. Do i find it? No. and then returning from mind class what do i see on the couch in commons in plain site? (besides the D&D books) my textbook. and bjorlunden this weekend. gonna be so tiring. i am shy. i know this, and usually require at least one previous contact for me to start talking to you in depth. but i find alchohol does hlep me alleviate this. It is a social lubricant. I drink to be able to talk to new people, or else to increase my forwardness as that would be the other quality im lakcing. well, not lacking. im very forwad on some things, just not internalness. I constantly lose things. i am horrible with material objects. i destroy, ignore, forget and just plain take material objects to the extreme use as i see them as unreal objects that deserve any physical wear and placment they get for being a purely material and therefore unreal thing. this is one of my main reasons for trying to develop a purely idealist (mind only) ontology of the world. I need to create my major. Its not philosophy, not neuroscience, but a application of cognitive and neurological theories working towards an entirely uncarnate existance. Think Ghosts if thou wilt. and die. if you want to.