Skins 4x05 *spoilers*
Best Female Performance:
Kaya Scodelario
Megan Prescott
Alright. I...I love these two. Really, I do. And clearly Kaya had more screen time than Megan so it must go to her. But quite honestly, I don't really want to give it to her. She doesn't play Crazy well, her voice pitches and I can tell it isn't Effy, it's Kaya. The lines just have nothing behind them, they've lost all the familiar aspects of Effy, even Effy being Effy, and it's just...acting class performance. But I think that's the fault of the writers. Firstly for the poorly written lines, and the fact that Effy's never really shown this side, and so it's a bit out of the blue for Kaya to play, a bit out of the blue compared to the Effy she's played for the past three years. Effy's usually cool, calm, freaking out internally, never quite on the outside, in the open. That's a difficult thing to play and Kaya had that done to a pat, but not so much this time, not so much this episode. So...Good try is all I can say. I give you this award, Kaya, mostly because it'd be wrong to give it to Megan.
Best Male Performance:
Luke Pasqualino
Simon Day (Freddie's father)
Jack O'Connell
Ollie Barberi
Merveille Lukeba
Why yes. Yes, I did just list every single male in the episode. Mostly because I don't want to give it to Luke. Because Freddie's not a hard character to play, guys. Sorry. He's not. At least not the way Luke portrays him. He's got the same face, in every single scene. Whether he's worried, upset, confused, anxious, angry, ashamed...same face. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes he doesn't. That's about it. I don't know if I should blame Luke or Freddie here, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and give this award to Jack. Because he doesn't steal the scene when he easily could. That's real talent: bowing out and letting someone else shine, even if it isn't a bright one. There. I said it. Sue me. *5 year old voice* My blog.
Best Smexy Moment:
Freffy sex on the stairs
Freddie shirtless, everywhere
Clearly this episode is a huge backlash to Katie's overload of smexiness. The sex scene on the stairs was...sweet, I'll admit. Would have been better if they weren't high. I don't see high!sex as hot, don't know why. Would someone like to fanficprove me wrong? Why do Freffy sex scenes always have to happen with Effy high? She doesn't have to be high to have sex with Cook, save for that one toke in S3x01. I see this as a bit unfair to Freddie, actually. I would think if Effy was in love, she would have to have a cathartic sexual experience. No? Just me? Okay, just me.
Freddie shirtless. No. No, sir. We saw enough of that in S3. No more. Please. No more. I think for every shirtless Freddie scene we have to watch, we should have an equal amount of Cook shirtless. That'd be the only way I would agree. Also, Emily Fitch. Yes. For every minute Freddie gets a shirtless screen time, Emily Fitch should have two.
Oh. Right. Still have to give an award.
Um. I give this award to the shirtless scene I just invented in my head of Emily Fitch.
Best New Character:
T. Love
Freddie's grandfather
I quite like Freddie's grandfather, I think he'd be a really cool dude to have around the house. He seems to be quite mobile, too, I don't see why he doesn't live with them. Maybe they could do with another person in the house, they all seem a bit lonely.
But this award must go to Tough Love. I mean, come on. The man is rocking that vest, and telling it like it is, and knows exactly where he wants you to sit in his office, and anyone (i mean anyone) who relies on Michael Jackson the way he just did is fine by me. Incidentally, "Gotta be starting something" TOTALLY popped into my head the moment he asked that. T. Love is total win. Like. Total win.
Most Unnecessary Scene:
Clingy!Freddie Scenes
Okay. I. Am a romantic. I think that's clear enough in my fics, is it not? I am a firm albeit hypocritical hopeless romantic. But there is something about Freddie and his...obsession, as I can only refer to it, with Effy. It is just. plain. bad. The dude needs help. Someone needs to give him a firm throttling. She is not life. She is important to it, yes. But there are other things, and other people to rely on when life has got you down. I don't even understand why he feels so 'alone'. There is family, there are friends, there is school. I mean come on, where's S3 Freddie who used to skate? Waste of time, yes, but he used to actually do something other than fawn over Effy, write her name as an anagram (and only be able to elabroate with 'forever'). I've got to say, Freddie is sadly the most underdeveloped character on skins and quite frankly I don't even want to get to know him better. Effy develops in this episode, not him. He's had his moment in the light and even then, he's not the most interesting. I'm pissed Panda and Naomi didn't get an episode this series but Freddie did, and it's been wasted on this.
Best Entrance:
Thomas/JJ
Cook
Thomas and JJ friendship for the win, my friend. They are adorable together. I think I liked them ever since the first episode of S5 and I saw the credits, with Thomas beatboxing and JJ nodding his head to the beat in the opening credits. I was all, 'win. Yes. Win.' JJ translating is just great, and hearing Thomas speak more french is always, too. People need to speak more of their native language, I hate television series where people don't. Technically I would have preferred all dialogue between Thomas and his siblings and mom to be in french. But oh well.
ANYHOO. This award will have to go to Cook's entrance. Because I mean. Come on. So badass. I would have appreciated he not scare Effy like that but oh well, who would have guessed she's gone insane?
Best Line:
"What would Michael say?" "What?" "Michael. Michael. What would he say?" -Love to Freddie
"I'm going to take care of you now. I promise. I promise." -Freddie to Effy
The dialogue actually wasn't all that impressive this episode. So disappointing. Everything just read like a poorly written angst fanfic. I put Freddie's line up there because I think it's always difficult to promise things. People promise the impossible all the time, and for this moment in particular you can really sense it's the beginning of the end. That he's really signing a verbal contract here, to be with her, to stick by her through thick and thin. And then...then at the end he's wavering, and he's refusing to follow through. Sigh.
I'm just going to award this to T. Love. Because that line just killed me. I was just waiting for him to turn around and reference the inspirational posters or MJ and lo and behold he did not disappoint.
Best Costuming:
Everyone but Luke
Why. Why do they dress him. Like a homeless man.
I don't understand.
Why.
Most HeartBreaking Scene:
Effy locked in the loo
Without a doubt one of the most visually powerful scenes skins has ever put up there. Ever.
End of discussion.
Most Missed Character:
Katie
Panda
Karen
I kept Katie up there because as I've said before: There will never be an episode where there is too much Katie.
I also do miss Panda, though. I really would have liked if they could have expanded on her character. There's a lot more to her, and her thunder was stolen from her in S3 by Sally Phillips (Who is my love, no complaints there) and the naomily kiss. I admittedly missed her a great deal this episode in particular, don't know why.
But I'm going to give this award to Karen. As much as I don't like her character, she is his sister.
Best Emotional Outburst:
Effy wants Cook out
Freddie on his father 'You act like an animal' 'ARF'
Effy's freak-out at the park
Freddie barking at his dad? Dunno if that's an emotional outburst. You see, the thing about Freddie is, kids: he's not very interesting. So everything he does, you kind of roll your eyes at.
Effy's freak out at the park could have been great but again, going back to the first award, Kaya brought the intensity down with her acting. Such a shame. It, visually, was beautiful heading into it.
This outburst moment, I mean really outburst, the way the other episodes have had outbursts, would have to be given to Effy, on the stairs. First she's quiet and tiny and helpless around Freddie, and the moment she sees someone else, sees Cook, she wants them out. She's loud and firm, the way Effy used to be. But she lets her guard down around Freddie, allows herself to be weak. That's what skins wants you to think, kids. And I buy it, because it's beautiful.
(But in my Cook/Effy mind, this scene is a bit out of character for Effy. She's still friends with Cook, she's still on good terms, look back at Cook's episode in S4, they were on totally good terms. Cook wasn't an asshole, just a fallen soldier and still a lover. I think if this scene happened in Cook's episode, she'd run into his arms and he'd just hold her, unable to do anything, shocked at it. No? Just me? I don't think the writer, Sean Buckley, really had a grasp on Cook's character. I don't think there was enough of a cohesion between the writers this series. Much like Ep2Naomi is not Ep1Naomi, Ep4Emily is not Ep2Emily, Ep5Cook is not Ep3Cook. All this development happens backstage. Which is okay, but it's never acknowledged. So it turns into sloppy teamwork.)
Most Touching Family Scene:
Freddie/Karen paper swans
Skins, as always, when you do family, you do it fucking right. I daresay Skins does family better than it does romance/love.
This moment when they're waiting for Effy in the hospital and they're both making the paper swan damn near killed me. You can just imagine...how they both took the time to memorize, really fucking engrave (no pun intended) in their minds, how to make the swans their mother loved so much. You can only imagine how many they've made, remembering her. You can only imagine...how terrible this moment is. How they must have sat here, just like this, years ago, making the same swan, waiting for their mother to die. And her swan's imperfect, and she hands it to him, and he fixes it for her, with shaking fingers, and she rests her head on his shoulder, and they sit there, and the moment is imperfect perfection <3
Wait, wait. What?:
No one cares about school anymore?
Crazy!Effy
Bastard!Freddie
What the hell is up with the kids this series, no one cares about school! I was right about that, though. Every episode sees someone being pulled from school. Right now we've got Thomas, Cook and Effy out of school. Possibly Freddie. The episode never followed up on that. Which pissed me off actually, I was all 'whaaaaaa' when the credits rolled.
Speaking of 'whaaaaaa' what a mind-fuck. Okay. Let's delve into Elizabeth's current leetle situation logically and like adults. I realize that she is unhinged. Yes, clearly Effy is fucked up. BUT. The difference is that she was emotionally fucked up, incapable of being dependant, unwilling to let herself take a leap into the drama that is co-dependence and emotional relationships. She is not mentally fucked up. She's not, and quite frankly I'm pissed about this. That's what makes Effy such a strong character. That she is so stable in the midst of all the chaos, that she is so strong and independant she stands aside from it all the fucking bullshit, ever so calmly. Do I just miss 'OmgSoChillEffy'? Yes. But I was willing to give her up for a more emotional roller coaster. This is insane. You cannot chalk the clues to a psychotic break to that one episode in S1, one clip from unseen skins, and the godforsaken skins novel. You can't. Nice try. But this was out of the blue. I might have liked it, but it was executed so, so, poorly. This is bullshit, man. Generation1Effy would slap the shit out of this Effy, and it would go like this:
SLAP. "Get a hold of yourself," Effy said calmly, stone-faced, before turning on her heel and sashaying off.
But this, my friends, is Freddie's episode. And so the award for a show-stopping aspect must go to him.
Here's the difference between Freddie and Cook, aight? Cook hates his mum, finds her ridiculous and frankly, kind of disgusting. But he has the upmost respect for her, he greets her, he stays with her, he never once badmouths her. Remember back in 3x02 with Cook and Johnny White? Johnny's pushing Cook's buttons who just laughs it all off. But the moment Johnny brings up Cook's mom, he starts beating him up. "Shut up, don't speak about my mum. SHUT UP. Shut up about my family, you don't know me, shut the fuck up! Do you know who I am? What I can do? I'm COOK." (Also note: This is the moment I fell in love with Cook) Cook in S4 comes home, goes to Paddy, immediate love, Cook cares for Paddy, takes him out of the house when the mom's being volatile, and is concerned about the negative effects his attitude is having on him.
Skip to Freddie. Fucking. Freddie. S3 sees Freddie being more angry with his sister than Cook when he finds out they slept together, turning on her, turning on his dad, getting slapped by his dad, never quite making up for that. S4 sees Freddie ignoring his family completely. There are two slapworthy moments for Freddie here. One: 'I'm glad this young lady's making you happy but-' 'No you're not, you're jealous.' Shut. The fuck up, Freddie. That is an asshole thing to say to anyone, let alone your fucking father who wasn't even talking about that, just about your schooling. Remember school? Two: 'I was trying to fucking help her' 'Well she fucking killed herself, dad.' Again. What an asshole thing to say to your father who had to watch the love of his life die. I mean shut the fuck up, Freddie. He was was doing the exact same thing you're doing right now. At that moment I wanted Effy to die, just so someone could have the same conversation with Freddie, just so he could realize what a cunt he was being there. Whoo, big language. But I hate him. Fuck. Someone deliver Freddie a slapfest for me. Please and thank you.
*breathing deeply*
On the bright side, JJ's episode is next and the line:
'Alien life form defined as Lara Lloyd. Most beautiful girl in this or any known universe'
has successfully reinstated my faith in skins dialogue and the series itself.
DODGED A BULLET THIS WEEK, SKINS.