"Jesus in the locker room...."
good times had by all today. well, all meaning me. and good times meaning that i didn't have stats class today, and i got to see matt at the ridiculously funny The Man Who Came To Dinner, and spent quality time with goodie, and i saw annie and andy in the caf and talked to them for a while, and generally didn't really have any problems. that's good times. had by all meaning me.
oh and it was a continuation of good times from last night. because last night i had good times as well. i auditioned for Christmas Cabaret, as we all know from my previous post. and there were tons of tommy people there. like i said also in my previous post, i'm so excited that i'm really truly friends now with these people. and i'm also really glad that i was in TOMMY because it brought me closer to matt and lauren. and let's face it....even though they read this and i tell them like every time i see them how much i love them, i need to say it one more time. they are wonderful, each of them in his and her own way, and i love them.
so yes, the christmas cabaret thing....turns out i'm in THREE numbers, because joe nolin the well-trained town bicycle forgot to mention that there are two numbers labeled "CAST" as well as soloists. which would lead me to believe that means THE ENTIRE FUCKING CAST is in them. but so yes... i'm really excited except that kaitlin andrews told us to memorize the songs by listening to them. but some of the songs are like....ones with voice parts. sleigh ride. which luckily i know the soprano part to because we did it only every damn year in chorus. but whatever. it's exciting. and at auditions it was definitely a TOMMY fest...it was funny to see how people would split, the TOMMY kids on one side and the "others" on the other side. fun times had by all again. all, still meaning me.
but then there was the 2+ hour conversation that i had with joe nolin last night. some highlights were: his vehement statements of his heterosexuality for a good 10 minutes; the plans that are now in the works for a musical that he and i intend to write about a football player and a rugby player torn between a love of contact sports and a love of musical theater, in which he and i will star because "we match"; discussions of wild party and how i desperately need to practice and listen to stuff so that i have a good audition (i'm stressed and it's almost 2 months away....); joe's chances against keith for the role of burrs, to which i responded with the promise of sex if he gets the role over keith. because let's face it.... if joe nolin (again) gets the part that keith wanted (keith reportedly fancying himself for capt. walker in tommy and then not getting it?) he will instantly become the most attractive person on the planet, simply because keith will have gotten shafted from the last musical of his fordham career....for a freshman!!
but yes... that was the events of last night. re-hashed for all who care to read.
i should be going to sleep because i have a wicked long day ahead of me tomorrow. i'm volunteering at 9:30 for the concert, which means that i will get to see it for free, and also means that i will miss my french class, which sucks because i believe it is my favorite class, and also the one i have the least absences in, but such is life. then i have my poetry class and my prophets class, both of which make me want to die a thousand times. then it's back to the room to do some work on my last big hurdle before i get to go home....my poetry paper. at least it's on my favorite female poet. "analyze an emily dickinson poem, and then use the aspects of rhythm, symbolism, and rhyme to support your thesis." 5-8 pages, it should take me all of like, a day. love it. i need to go home. bigtime. like....as much as i really truly do love fordham and being here and being with my friends and on my own and such....i need to go home. i miss my mom. i miss gie. i don't even really get to talk to my dad anymore and that's awful. we used to have lunch together soo often over the summer when i was working at the bank. we got to be friends, we talked so much... and now it's like, i talked to him last night online for ten minutes, and it was the first i'd really talked to him since i got into TOMMY. i miss my dad. i miss erin so much i can hardly stand it. i mean granted, this semester we've already talked potentially more than we did most of last year. it's gotten to the point where last tuesday, after i'd pulled an all-nighter and we had short rehearsal, i stayed up till 1am talking to her anyways because i hadn't talked to her in 5 days. at all. a pic of us from our grad party is taped to my computer so that i see us together whenever i'm bummed out. she's like...the best person i ever could have in the world and it sucks that i get to see her like, now, for a few weeks at christmas, for a day or two over spring break, and then not again until the summer.
it's so strange to think that she almost came to fordham. that her choice of schools was between fordham and pitt, and she seriously considered fordham. the night in the car...when she told me. she was crying, i was crying, it was amazing that we didn't get run right off the road. but really...i knew all along. there was no way we'd have gone to college together. it would be too weird. it would be amazing, but then again, i don't think i would value her quite as much if i still had her around me to see every day. i mean...if my very best friend, my other half came to school with me, it would be like high school all over again. except we wouldn't have marathon phone conversations. we wouldn't do the same things and maybe we wouldn't even see each other which would be a lot like now except we'd be in the same state. but this way... as much as i miss her... we have the time when we're on break and we have phone conversations and i have people that i can tell about her and vice versa. absence makes the heart grow fonder and i love her more every day. she's the best friend in the world.
this has become a marathon of an entry, it's almost taken me an hour to write it, and it's about to get longer. what hte hell am i going to do about tex?? i don't want to be in a relationship right now, which is a first for me. for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm okay on my own and i don't need to be in a relationship or really want to be in one. i know that this is the one chance i may ever get to be with tex. i mean...if i was me last year, i would kick my own ass. but... i just don't feel right. and it doesn't feel right. and basically if it doesn't feel right, i don't need to do it. that's what i've decided. and like, everyone is going to be surprised and disappointed. mostly i'm worried about him. but as long as it's right for me... that's what matters. right??
good night, it's time for bed.
or another 2+ hour conversation with joe nolin.
whichever.
oh and it was a continuation of good times from last night. because last night i had good times as well. i auditioned for Christmas Cabaret, as we all know from my previous post. and there were tons of tommy people there. like i said also in my previous post, i'm so excited that i'm really truly friends now with these people. and i'm also really glad that i was in TOMMY because it brought me closer to matt and lauren. and let's face it....even though they read this and i tell them like every time i see them how much i love them, i need to say it one more time. they are wonderful, each of them in his and her own way, and i love them.
so yes, the christmas cabaret thing....turns out i'm in THREE numbers, because joe nolin the well-trained town bicycle forgot to mention that there are two numbers labeled "CAST" as well as soloists. which would lead me to believe that means THE ENTIRE FUCKING CAST is in them. but so yes... i'm really excited except that kaitlin andrews told us to memorize the songs by listening to them. but some of the songs are like....ones with voice parts. sleigh ride. which luckily i know the soprano part to because we did it only every damn year in chorus. but whatever. it's exciting. and at auditions it was definitely a TOMMY fest...it was funny to see how people would split, the TOMMY kids on one side and the "others" on the other side. fun times had by all again. all, still meaning me.
but then there was the 2+ hour conversation that i had with joe nolin last night. some highlights were: his vehement statements of his heterosexuality for a good 10 minutes; the plans that are now in the works for a musical that he and i intend to write about a football player and a rugby player torn between a love of contact sports and a love of musical theater, in which he and i will star because "we match"; discussions of wild party and how i desperately need to practice and listen to stuff so that i have a good audition (i'm stressed and it's almost 2 months away....); joe's chances against keith for the role of burrs, to which i responded with the promise of sex if he gets the role over keith. because let's face it.... if joe nolin (again) gets the part that keith wanted (keith reportedly fancying himself for capt. walker in tommy and then not getting it?) he will instantly become the most attractive person on the planet, simply because keith will have gotten shafted from the last musical of his fordham career....for a freshman!!
but yes... that was the events of last night. re-hashed for all who care to read.
i should be going to sleep because i have a wicked long day ahead of me tomorrow. i'm volunteering at 9:30 for the concert, which means that i will get to see it for free, and also means that i will miss my french class, which sucks because i believe it is my favorite class, and also the one i have the least absences in, but such is life. then i have my poetry class and my prophets class, both of which make me want to die a thousand times. then it's back to the room to do some work on my last big hurdle before i get to go home....my poetry paper. at least it's on my favorite female poet. "analyze an emily dickinson poem, and then use the aspects of rhythm, symbolism, and rhyme to support your thesis." 5-8 pages, it should take me all of like, a day. love it. i need to go home. bigtime. like....as much as i really truly do love fordham and being here and being with my friends and on my own and such....i need to go home. i miss my mom. i miss gie. i don't even really get to talk to my dad anymore and that's awful. we used to have lunch together soo often over the summer when i was working at the bank. we got to be friends, we talked so much... and now it's like, i talked to him last night online for ten minutes, and it was the first i'd really talked to him since i got into TOMMY. i miss my dad. i miss erin so much i can hardly stand it. i mean granted, this semester we've already talked potentially more than we did most of last year. it's gotten to the point where last tuesday, after i'd pulled an all-nighter and we had short rehearsal, i stayed up till 1am talking to her anyways because i hadn't talked to her in 5 days. at all. a pic of us from our grad party is taped to my computer so that i see us together whenever i'm bummed out. she's like...the best person i ever could have in the world and it sucks that i get to see her like, now, for a few weeks at christmas, for a day or two over spring break, and then not again until the summer.
it's so strange to think that she almost came to fordham. that her choice of schools was between fordham and pitt, and she seriously considered fordham. the night in the car...when she told me. she was crying, i was crying, it was amazing that we didn't get run right off the road. but really...i knew all along. there was no way we'd have gone to college together. it would be too weird. it would be amazing, but then again, i don't think i would value her quite as much if i still had her around me to see every day. i mean...if my very best friend, my other half came to school with me, it would be like high school all over again. except we wouldn't have marathon phone conversations. we wouldn't do the same things and maybe we wouldn't even see each other which would be a lot like now except we'd be in the same state. but this way... as much as i miss her... we have the time when we're on break and we have phone conversations and i have people that i can tell about her and vice versa. absence makes the heart grow fonder and i love her more every day. she's the best friend in the world.
this has become a marathon of an entry, it's almost taken me an hour to write it, and it's about to get longer. what hte hell am i going to do about tex?? i don't want to be in a relationship right now, which is a first for me. for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm okay on my own and i don't need to be in a relationship or really want to be in one. i know that this is the one chance i may ever get to be with tex. i mean...if i was me last year, i would kick my own ass. but... i just don't feel right. and it doesn't feel right. and basically if it doesn't feel right, i don't need to do it. that's what i've decided. and like, everyone is going to be surprised and disappointed. mostly i'm worried about him. but as long as it's right for me... that's what matters. right??
good night, it's time for bed.
or another 2+ hour conversation with joe nolin.
whichever.