Still unsure
So I finally got to see her. It was only for a few minutes. She woke up the other day very ill and had to call out of work. Apparently she was in bed all day. We had planned to get together that night and talk. I had already planned to get her some flowers and basically tell her everything that was on my mind. Even if she hadn't gotten sick, we probably would have gotten rained out anyway.
I did show up at her apartment with the flowers and saw her while she laid in bed. She was barely awake, waiting for the next dose of Nyquil to kick in. Even though she was clearly sick and not feeling well at all, I still thought she was beautiful. I hadn't seen her for over 3 weeks and truly realized then how I felt about her. Just the site of her looking at me made me nervous all over again... like it was the first time I stepped into her apartment to pick her up for our first date. She seemed to like the red and white roses I got her. Apparently roses are her favorite. I chose the red and white roses because together they mean unity. I wanted to explain that to her, but it didn't feel like a good medium. I did tell her that I researched flowers and chose those for a meaning. I don't know if she ever looked it up or not.
I didn't stay long, only a few minutes to see how she was doing and fill her in on my day. I hugged her goodbye and gave her a kiss on the forehead. I did stick around for a little bit and talked to Jackie and her bow. What bothers me now is that Jackie gave the impression that she was not aware of anything bad going on between me and Brittney. Almost as if things were just the way they had been prior to her surgery. But Brittney doesn't call me like she used to. She doesn't text me or reply like she used to either. I don't know how to take that. I'm not sure where I stand with her and that's why I've come to this point.
Do I stay or let her go? I really like her and want to be a part of her life. I think she likes me too, but for some reason something changed. I can continue to wait around and go through the motions and see if things go back to the way they were. Or, I can just call it for what it is and was and tell her I'm not satisfied and need to move on. I know she is going through a lot right now with her health, turning 21 and about to start a big new job. I just wish she would still include me in on conversations or how she's doing. I know my feelings for her are strong, but I also know I hate feeling left out and useless. I haven't been sleeping well, not eating much, and just lay around the house on my weekends watching tv. That's no way to go through life. Just tell me where I stand so I can get over this feeling I'm in.
I did show up at her apartment with the flowers and saw her while she laid in bed. She was barely awake, waiting for the next dose of Nyquil to kick in. Even though she was clearly sick and not feeling well at all, I still thought she was beautiful. I hadn't seen her for over 3 weeks and truly realized then how I felt about her. Just the site of her looking at me made me nervous all over again... like it was the first time I stepped into her apartment to pick her up for our first date. She seemed to like the red and white roses I got her. Apparently roses are her favorite. I chose the red and white roses because together they mean unity. I wanted to explain that to her, but it didn't feel like a good medium. I did tell her that I researched flowers and chose those for a meaning. I don't know if she ever looked it up or not.
I didn't stay long, only a few minutes to see how she was doing and fill her in on my day. I hugged her goodbye and gave her a kiss on the forehead. I did stick around for a little bit and talked to Jackie and her bow. What bothers me now is that Jackie gave the impression that she was not aware of anything bad going on between me and Brittney. Almost as if things were just the way they had been prior to her surgery. But Brittney doesn't call me like she used to. She doesn't text me or reply like she used to either. I don't know how to take that. I'm not sure where I stand with her and that's why I've come to this point.
Do I stay or let her go? I really like her and want to be a part of her life. I think she likes me too, but for some reason something changed. I can continue to wait around and go through the motions and see if things go back to the way they were. Or, I can just call it for what it is and was and tell her I'm not satisfied and need to move on. I know she is going through a lot right now with her health, turning 21 and about to start a big new job. I just wish she would still include me in on conversations or how she's doing. I know my feelings for her are strong, but I also know I hate feeling left out and useless. I haven't been sleeping well, not eating much, and just lay around the house on my weekends watching tv. That's no way to go through life. Just tell me where I stand so I can get over this feeling I'm in.