Still Adding to this Chapter
So I guess it's not over yet. There may still be some hope to rekindle this relationship. Her guards are up now and there is definitely some doubt in her mind. All I can do is be myself and prove to her I am not like the ones in her past. I just want her to see that and realize I'm the one for her and she's the one for me.
These past few days were horrible. I was basically useless. Knowing that I made her feel so upset and disappointed just ate me up inside. Obviously if I didn't care, it wouldn't have bothered me as much. And not knowing where I truly stand with her right now still causes that feeling of anxiety. I know I must prepare myself for what is most likely inevitable... The dreaded break up. Separating from someone is not the part that scares me the most. It's when doing so, I lose that connection and friendship completely. This girl makes me laugh and smile like no other. When she tickles me I say no, but I really don't want her to stop. When I hold her, I don't want to let her go. When we say goodbye, I count the minutes until we say hello. When I look into her beautiful eyes, I see a warmth unlike any I've seen before. Who needs a blanket when you have her laying next to you. I wish she knew all of this and maybe that would open up her mind. But of course they are only words. I just pray for the opportunity to put these words into actions.
These past few days were horrible. I was basically useless. Knowing that I made her feel so upset and disappointed just ate me up inside. Obviously if I didn't care, it wouldn't have bothered me as much. And not knowing where I truly stand with her right now still causes that feeling of anxiety. I know I must prepare myself for what is most likely inevitable... The dreaded break up. Separating from someone is not the part that scares me the most. It's when doing so, I lose that connection and friendship completely. This girl makes me laugh and smile like no other. When she tickles me I say no, but I really don't want her to stop. When I hold her, I don't want to let her go. When we say goodbye, I count the minutes until we say hello. When I look into her beautiful eyes, I see a warmth unlike any I've seen before. Who needs a blanket when you have her laying next to you. I wish she knew all of this and maybe that would open up her mind. But of course they are only words. I just pray for the opportunity to put these words into actions.