(no subject)
Lately, I've been stressed. Then again, when have I not been stressed? Stressed because of things at home, stressed because of things online, stressed because of things outside. Everyday I listen to my mom complain about my job. She complains about me being at home and when I finally get a job she complains I give them extra hours. I don't mind giving them extra hours, because the longer I stay there, the longer I stay away from this house.
Food and me are getting worst now. We're like sworn enemies now, hate each other's guts and can't wait to get each other out of our system, yep that's how it is. The more stress there is, the more I want to just hide, give up food. It's not like my family cares though. They're all too busy worrying about themselves and making my brother and sister happy. Guess that's what I get isn't it? For grieving over "something that will mean nothing to me in the future". I want to scream so bad.
Jennifer told me it was ok to whine and whimper like I do, because going through all this emotional stress, it's my way of getting out. Someone once asked me why I liked being pampered and held. Maybe its because of the lack of pampering and love I get from my family. By being held and pampered I feel more at ease. I guess in a way... I NEED all this pampering. I need others to take care of me, to hold me, to baby me.
Tomorrow is going to be our seven months, another hard night to sleep through. I guess I'm going to stare at the sky and hold kitty tonight. Mao... I need you tonight... Help me... I don't wanna talk with that counselor again when I start school.
Food and me are getting worst now. We're like sworn enemies now, hate each other's guts and can't wait to get each other out of our system, yep that's how it is. The more stress there is, the more I want to just hide, give up food. It's not like my family cares though. They're all too busy worrying about themselves and making my brother and sister happy. Guess that's what I get isn't it? For grieving over "something that will mean nothing to me in the future". I want to scream so bad.
Jennifer told me it was ok to whine and whimper like I do, because going through all this emotional stress, it's my way of getting out. Someone once asked me why I liked being pampered and held. Maybe its because of the lack of pampering and love I get from my family. By being held and pampered I feel more at ease. I guess in a way... I NEED all this pampering. I need others to take care of me, to hold me, to baby me.
Tomorrow is going to be our seven months, another hard night to sleep through. I guess I'm going to stare at the sky and hold kitty tonight. Mao... I need you tonight... Help me... I don't wanna talk with that counselor again when I start school.