[]D [] []V[] []D (Yeah, it's inevitable, I was gonna use that title eventually. Get over it.)
I REALLY have to pee right now, but I'm too lazy to get up, so I have a feeling I'm going to sit here until I give my chair a thorough soaking, which is bad, because it won't fit in the washing machine, so I'll have to clean it with Windex, because Windex cleans everything, because Windex is GOD, okay?
You know what's bad about college? When you and your roommate are listening to two songs at the same time, and the sound waves clash, causing a resonant frequency that BLOWS YOUR HEAD INTO A MILLION FRAGMENTS. Kind of like my philosophy class. Mmm...chunks.
So, Meredith had some pumpkin bread. And it was moldy. I tried to eat it, but it bit my lower lip, latched on, and started emitting a shrieking cackle. So I strangled it with my penis. "Oh my, what an interesting belt you have on! What material is that?" "Mmmm...please touch it again..." SUPREME LONG SCHOLONG.
Dingos eat babies.
Alex eats dingos.
----------------------------
Therefore, Alex eats babies.
"The dirty old whore told me ta do it!!!"...."Spongebath..." SLACKERS SI TEH BESST MVOIE EVAR!!!
Frankenstein had the bitchin'-est-ass neck piercing I've EVER seen!
I lost one of my two anthropology books, so I'm gonna ask the teacher if I only have to take half the quiz.
There was once a car called the Gremlin. Apparently it was ugly. I have a gremlin in my closet. It is ugly. So I either have a very ugly car or a very mechanical gremlin in my closet...
"NEEEEWWWW YORK'S ALRIGHT...IF YOU LOVE SAXOPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Next time you go to a play, wait until a very quiet moment in the performace, then stand up, open your playbill and put it on your head and say, "I'm , I have a tent, and I'm going camping!!!" Proceed to walk up and down the aisles a few times, then sit back down.
Okay. I'm tired and I need porn...er...preteens...er...animals...er...hobos(wtf???)...*ahem* sleep. LINOLEUM CARPETING. You see, that's why I'm fucking confused about fire drills in the dorms. HOW DO YOU EXPECT A CINDERBLOCK AND LINOLEUM BUILDING TO BURN DOWN? FIRE DOES NOT BURN CONCRETE. IT WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO CHOP DOWN THE LARGEST TREE IN THE FOREST WITH....A HERRING!!!
"My twelve year old daughter works as a hooker...AND SHE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN I DO!!" - Disgruntled dad
Okay kiddies. Uncle Alex is gonna go make himself a cat kebab...with GREY POUPON. And yes, sir, I DO have some Grey Poupon.
You know what's bad about college? When you and your roommate are listening to two songs at the same time, and the sound waves clash, causing a resonant frequency that BLOWS YOUR HEAD INTO A MILLION FRAGMENTS. Kind of like my philosophy class. Mmm...chunks.
So, Meredith had some pumpkin bread. And it was moldy. I tried to eat it, but it bit my lower lip, latched on, and started emitting a shrieking cackle. So I strangled it with my penis. "Oh my, what an interesting belt you have on! What material is that?" "Mmmm...please touch it again..." SUPREME LONG SCHOLONG.
Dingos eat babies.
Alex eats dingos.
----------------------------
Therefore, Alex eats babies.
"The dirty old whore told me ta do it!!!"...."Spongebath..." SLACKERS SI TEH BESST MVOIE EVAR!!!
Frankenstein had the bitchin'-est-ass neck piercing I've EVER seen!
I lost one of my two anthropology books, so I'm gonna ask the teacher if I only have to take half the quiz.
There was once a car called the Gremlin. Apparently it was ugly. I have a gremlin in my closet. It is ugly. So I either have a very ugly car or a very mechanical gremlin in my closet...
"NEEEEWWWW YORK'S ALRIGHT...IF YOU LOVE SAXOPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Next time you go to a play, wait until a very quiet moment in the performace, then stand up, open your playbill and put it on your head and say, "I'm , I have a tent, and I'm going camping!!!" Proceed to walk up and down the aisles a few times, then sit back down.
Okay. I'm tired and I need porn...er...preteens...er...animals...er...hobos(wtf???)...*ahem* sleep. LINOLEUM CARPETING. You see, that's why I'm fucking confused about fire drills in the dorms. HOW DO YOU EXPECT A CINDERBLOCK AND LINOLEUM BUILDING TO BURN DOWN? FIRE DOES NOT BURN CONCRETE. IT WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO CHOP DOWN THE LARGEST TREE IN THE FOREST WITH....A HERRING!!!
"My twelve year old daughter works as a hooker...AND SHE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN I DO!!" - Disgruntled dad
Okay kiddies. Uncle Alex is gonna go make himself a cat kebab...with GREY POUPON. And yes, sir, I DO have some Grey Poupon.