You are a SLUT! ^_^
See above. I used the infamous Korean "^_^" smiley face. This means I am going to start playing Starcraft obsessively, using only the much-despised "ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE" strategy. (PWNED!)
I was reading "A Rumor of War" today...it's one Vietnam soldier's story. And I was wondering...WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY ROCKET JUMP? HRM? THAT WOULDA HELPED YA GET OVER THOSE MINEFIELDS, WOULDN'T IT?!? THEN YOU COULD JUST HAVE THE MEDIC HIT YOU WITH THE CARDBOARD BOX OF HEALTHINESS AND YOU'D BE PERFECTLY HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T GET PLAGUED.
Mmmm...semi-obscure video game references...I LOVE 'EM! Almost as much as I love fish sticks...because they're EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU'RE DEAD! WAHAHAAHAHHA!!!!! Orson Welles is my hero. But only in animated form.
So I was bouncing around on my pogo stick... Then I bounced on a bunny rabbit. It went splat. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
Chris: "I killed a gopher with a golf ball!"
Alex: (Falls over because he's laughing so hard.)
I decided that figure skating would be MUCH cooler if you could use jet packs. Shit, ANYTHING would be cooler if you could use jetpacks. NEW JETPACK GERIATRIC WARD! OLD PEOPLE CAN'T MOVE VERY FAST, SO WE GAVE 'EM FUCKING JET PACKS! SEE IF _THAT_ DOESN'T SPEED OLD GRANNY UP! NO MORE TWENTY YEAR OLD CADILLAC. THE JET PACK HAS ONLY TWO SETTINGS: 1) OFF and 2) EYEBALLS-POPPIN'-OUT-THE-BACK-OF-YOUR-SKULL SPEED!
I can't wear shorts any more. I've prematurely aged 450 years and my testicles now droop down to my ankles. I tripped over my left one the other day...it was less than pleasant. I had to go to the emergency room. Can you even IMAGINE what I had to tell the doctor when he asked what happened?!? "You see, doctor, I was in this HORRIBLE industrial accident involving two hundred fifty apricots, a perambulator, and a bird feeder. It was TERRIBLE!" *sob*
I AM GOING TO GET AN EYEBALL IMPLANTED IN THE BACK OF MY NECK! SNEAK UP ON ME NOW, WILL YA?!?!?!? HUH?!!?!?!
I had the misfortune of angering a large rhinocerous. It charged me, so I turned my back and ran! Unfortunately, it caught up with me... The doctor says I can't sit down for eight months now. Supposedly the bleeding will stop in a week or so, but I don't see any sign of it letting up!
A bird is sitting on my head, pecking merrily away at my abundant dandruff. Because I am so addicted to Diablo II, I haven't moved in over ten weeks. The mushrooms growing under my armpits supply me with a readily available food source, and I've been able to buy a gnome that gets me water on command, as long as I say, "Finkly dinkle please don't make me tinkle." It's really not THAT bad. Showers are for the weak, anyways. Just don't ask what I do about going to the bathroom... o.0
"Mommy, I want a colonoscopy bag for Christmas! They're so much fun. I took Grandpa's cuz I figured HE didn't need it!"
*yawn* Well, I'm tired. Not really, but I need an excuse to go mastur...I mean, I've got an EARLY class tomorrow and I need my rest! Anyways, if you find that your bed springs have come alive and ripped out all your toenails it's TIME TO GET A NEW MATTRESS.
Hell froze over yesterday. It turns out I'm passing math!!!
Goodnight kiddies. Sleep tight. Don't let the DEMONS IN YOUR NIGHTMARES OHMYGODITSEATINGMYFACEARARRArRRRGHHHhhhHHSSLEEPINGISBADITHURTSAGGHHGHHGHHRRRRRRRRRRrggffgghhhdfddssss..... *gurgle*
I was reading "A Rumor of War" today...it's one Vietnam soldier's story. And I was wondering...WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY ROCKET JUMP? HRM? THAT WOULDA HELPED YA GET OVER THOSE MINEFIELDS, WOULDN'T IT?!? THEN YOU COULD JUST HAVE THE MEDIC HIT YOU WITH THE CARDBOARD BOX OF HEALTHINESS AND YOU'D BE PERFECTLY HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T GET PLAGUED.
Mmmm...semi-obscure video game references...I LOVE 'EM! Almost as much as I love fish sticks...because they're EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU'RE DEAD! WAHAHAAHAHHA!!!!! Orson Welles is my hero. But only in animated form.
So I was bouncing around on my pogo stick... Then I bounced on a bunny rabbit. It went splat. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
Chris: "I killed a gopher with a golf ball!"
Alex: (Falls over because he's laughing so hard.)
I decided that figure skating would be MUCH cooler if you could use jet packs. Shit, ANYTHING would be cooler if you could use jetpacks. NEW JETPACK GERIATRIC WARD! OLD PEOPLE CAN'T MOVE VERY FAST, SO WE GAVE 'EM FUCKING JET PACKS! SEE IF _THAT_ DOESN'T SPEED OLD GRANNY UP! NO MORE TWENTY YEAR OLD CADILLAC. THE JET PACK HAS ONLY TWO SETTINGS: 1) OFF and 2) EYEBALLS-POPPIN'-OUT-THE-BACK-OF-YOUR-SKULL SPEED!
I can't wear shorts any more. I've prematurely aged 450 years and my testicles now droop down to my ankles. I tripped over my left one the other day...it was less than pleasant. I had to go to the emergency room. Can you even IMAGINE what I had to tell the doctor when he asked what happened?!? "You see, doctor, I was in this HORRIBLE industrial accident involving two hundred fifty apricots, a perambulator, and a bird feeder. It was TERRIBLE!" *sob*
I AM GOING TO GET AN EYEBALL IMPLANTED IN THE BACK OF MY NECK! SNEAK UP ON ME NOW, WILL YA?!?!?!? HUH?!!?!?!
I had the misfortune of angering a large rhinocerous. It charged me, so I turned my back and ran! Unfortunately, it caught up with me... The doctor says I can't sit down for eight months now. Supposedly the bleeding will stop in a week or so, but I don't see any sign of it letting up!
A bird is sitting on my head, pecking merrily away at my abundant dandruff. Because I am so addicted to Diablo II, I haven't moved in over ten weeks. The mushrooms growing under my armpits supply me with a readily available food source, and I've been able to buy a gnome that gets me water on command, as long as I say, "Finkly dinkle please don't make me tinkle." It's really not THAT bad. Showers are for the weak, anyways. Just don't ask what I do about going to the bathroom... o.0
"Mommy, I want a colonoscopy bag for Christmas! They're so much fun. I took Grandpa's cuz I figured HE didn't need it!"
*yawn* Well, I'm tired. Not really, but I need an excuse to go mastur...I mean, I've got an EARLY class tomorrow and I need my rest! Anyways, if you find that your bed springs have come alive and ripped out all your toenails it's TIME TO GET A NEW MATTRESS.
Hell froze over yesterday. It turns out I'm passing math!!!
Goodnight kiddies. Sleep tight. Don't let the DEMONS IN YOUR NIGHTMARES OHMYGODITSEATINGMYFACEARARRArRRRGHHHhhhHHSSLEEPINGISBADITHURTSAGGHHGHHGHHRRRRRRRRRRrggffgghhhdfddssss..... *gurgle*