mango madness
Lynne has been in boston for the past 4 days.
We have talked on the phone twice and exchanged endless emails, but I am not sure how I feel about her being away.
I miss her insane questions and paranoid comments
I miss her ridiculous need to always have mango lotion on her knees and heels, and beckoning me to get it for her
I miss having her "be right by me" (a phrase that is used out here- fun fact to know)
I miss just having her here to hold me if I want her to, or play catch with me in my ridiculously small apartment
I miss her
on the other hand.....
being alone this weekend has taught me something I never really thought about and for sure didnt really know.
I miss me!!!
I miss spending time with myself and not having to answer to anyone (though as a disclaimer- I never actually had to answer to lynne, but you know how you have to check in when you are dating someone, living with them, etc.)
I miss making my own decisions without having to consider the preferences of others.
I learned that it can be fun to go to a chick concert all by myself and flirt with girls I dont know and will never see again.
I learned that sleeping in a bed alone isn't so much lonely, as it is very very roomy
I learned that even though I miss her being around, I am okay with just knowing she is safe somewhere and hopefully being good to herself
I learned that its not too hard to make time to do anything I want, as long as I dont mind taking the el at 3am and dodging smoochie faces from scary people who like my strategically placed cleavage
I dont know what I want folks.
I love her and I love being her girl... but I dont want to be that girl right now, I just want to be.
Why can't I find the courage just to be in that place and be happy with it????
We have talked on the phone twice and exchanged endless emails, but I am not sure how I feel about her being away.
I miss her insane questions and paranoid comments
I miss her ridiculous need to always have mango lotion on her knees and heels, and beckoning me to get it for her
I miss having her "be right by me" (a phrase that is used out here- fun fact to know)
I miss just having her here to hold me if I want her to, or play catch with me in my ridiculously small apartment
I miss her
on the other hand.....
being alone this weekend has taught me something I never really thought about and for sure didnt really know.
I miss me!!!
I miss spending time with myself and not having to answer to anyone (though as a disclaimer- I never actually had to answer to lynne, but you know how you have to check in when you are dating someone, living with them, etc.)
I miss making my own decisions without having to consider the preferences of others.
I learned that it can be fun to go to a chick concert all by myself and flirt with girls I dont know and will never see again.
I learned that sleeping in a bed alone isn't so much lonely, as it is very very roomy
I learned that even though I miss her being around, I am okay with just knowing she is safe somewhere and hopefully being good to herself
I learned that its not too hard to make time to do anything I want, as long as I dont mind taking the el at 3am and dodging smoochie faces from scary people who like my strategically placed cleavage
I dont know what I want folks.
I love her and I love being her girl... but I dont want to be that girl right now, I just want to be.
Why can't I find the courage just to be in that place and be happy with it????