Seeing My Life in the Palm of My Hands

[twgd]

Right now I am utilizing my last four days of my paid time off and it feels good not to be at that job.  A lot has happened since I last wrote in this journal, for one thing I officially moved out of my parents house effective 8/30/08 and into my own place.  I really lucked out because I found a great deal on apartment $700.00 everything included in NY.  I just love it because I have a peace of mind now.  So as of late, I have been talking to my mom like an adult and explaining to her that I needed to be on my own.  You see my father molested me sometime ago and I never truly punished him for him violating my body at an early age.  I always have put my family first before my emotions and it was time to end that cycle and take that leap of faith and be on my own.  Honestly I had no problem doing that because in my heart I was ready to leave and had the motivation to do so. In talking to my mom, I tried to help her understand my point of view and tell her that I have been doing everything for the family and not for me.  Like I said early, in this entry I never truly punished my father for his heinous act and its time I did.  After talking it over with a lot of people, I feel that he is truly not sorry for what he did to me and I say this for the mere the fact "he refers to the molestion as something we did" not something that he did and after all these years he shows no sign of remorse and that was the light that started it all.

"Men can see desparation in a woman 's yets.  Look at them like you don't care and they will come."