Well...there it is...
One year ago at 12:30 this morning I got my first kiss and entered my first relationship. It was cold, but not as cold as it could have been. It was a sweet moment, I can't deny that. I'll never pretend that it wasn't a sweet moment, even if it caught me entirely off guard and then some psychological Disney princess related shit happened in my head that proves that I've been fucked over by movies in the past and will continue to be in life in the future. (uh...but never mind.)
About 17 hours later I got the L bomb dropped on me for the first time and I told Matt my first lie.
About 8 hours after that I had my first doubts. You know, that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know you've probably made a huge mistake that will strongly affect someone else in a negative way if you go back and try to change things.
It took me over 2 days after my first kiss to get my second one. The second one was upside down, like Spiderman...which I thought was frightfully hot because I had a thing for Spiderman (still do, yo!)
A month after my first kiss I went on my first date and I felt like I was on top of the world.
A month and a half after my first kiss, those doubts came back and I called my mom crying quite often. (Sarah probably doesn't even read this anymore and it's understandable...but I'm sure she remembers this all as vividly as I do since she was right there with me...as I had just gotten my cell phone at the time.)
Two months in and he forgot when our anniversary was.
Two and a half months after my first kiss, I cried for hours because I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter how much it hurt.
Of course I have my regrets. Perhaps my greatest regret is the fact that Ir was another one of those instances where I was so flattered by the attention that I forgot about myself. I lost my footing and fell hard on my ass, and I still have a scar on my cocyx that will take some pretty good surgery to disappear. I'm still looking for my plastic surgeon.
Just thought I'd share. Perhaps in the next day or so I'll put up a mix of some sort, since I used mixes to try to create my feelings back in the day...I want to make a reflectionary mix now. It'll contain "Mama, You Been On My Mind" and "Cars Can't Escape" and "Nothing Up My Sleeve" and "It Ain't Me Babe" for certain.
Also: A random and probably purely coincidental thing I just remember - the day I went home after that kiss was the day my first adapter crapped out on me.
About 17 hours later I got the L bomb dropped on me for the first time and I told Matt my first lie.
About 8 hours after that I had my first doubts. You know, that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know you've probably made a huge mistake that will strongly affect someone else in a negative way if you go back and try to change things.
It took me over 2 days after my first kiss to get my second one. The second one was upside down, like Spiderman...which I thought was frightfully hot because I had a thing for Spiderman (still do, yo!)
A month after my first kiss I went on my first date and I felt like I was on top of the world.
A month and a half after my first kiss, those doubts came back and I called my mom crying quite often. (Sarah probably doesn't even read this anymore and it's understandable...but I'm sure she remembers this all as vividly as I do since she was right there with me...as I had just gotten my cell phone at the time.)
Two months in and he forgot when our anniversary was.
Two and a half months after my first kiss, I cried for hours because I knew I was doing the right thing, no matter how much it hurt.
Of course I have my regrets. Perhaps my greatest regret is the fact that Ir was another one of those instances where I was so flattered by the attention that I forgot about myself. I lost my footing and fell hard on my ass, and I still have a scar on my cocyx that will take some pretty good surgery to disappear. I'm still looking for my plastic surgeon.
Just thought I'd share. Perhaps in the next day or so I'll put up a mix of some sort, since I used mixes to try to create my feelings back in the day...I want to make a reflectionary mix now. It'll contain "Mama, You Been On My Mind" and "Cars Can't Escape" and "Nothing Up My Sleeve" and "It Ain't Me Babe" for certain.
Also: A random and probably purely coincidental thing I just remember - the day I went home after that kiss was the day my first adapter crapped out on me.