+ It’s official! I’ve decided that I’m going to see Chloe and Ivy on October 11th ( Read more... )

Me: I'm going to have this car, one day.
Gloria: I think we definitely need to keep this car in the family, so you can drive it, your dad can drive it, and most importantly I can drive it. 
Dad:  People have been giving me shit offers for it. I ain't losin' anymore money. Might as well just keep it, myself.

Let's discuss this "keeping it the family" ( Read more... )

Superbowl thus far:

Gloria (My dad's girlfriend) slapped my ass so hard (for no good reason) that I choked on my drink.
And in case you were wondering, Jack Daniels doesn't taste any better coming up than it does going down. 
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Tom: What are you doing, Joe?
Joe:  *leans over chip dip* Jerkin' off in this sauce so you guys can have some of my special ( Read more... )