(no subject)
this week has been really gloomy. i don't mean the weather. monday, i just dont even remember. actaully, i do remember work, it was fun because i danced with kim. tuesday i had drivers ed and we said goodbye to our drivers ed teacher because he got a new job. seems ive been saying goodbye to lots of people lately. wens. was yesterday and i go my report card, and i did really bad which makes me feel very stupid, even though i know i am really smart. and then i went to drivers ed again and we talked about drinking and it got me really, really, really sad bc i couldnt stop thinking about coryn or uncle billy. i love them both so much, and i miss coryn a lot. i was so close to getting up and screaming my brains out about how much i hate this. today is thrusday and i dont have school tomorrow. i hope tomorrow is fun because i dont want to go to work and i think everyone is going over jess's. i know leanne is defaintly going, and so is marissa. i had lots of problems this week. lauren koochma started with me, and kara wants to kill me again. uMm, i guess i saw that one coming. becauseee, of the picture that i put up, but whatever. um, briana actaully called mishel and jolee immature and then denyed that she said anything wrong. that got ME really mad to because they were just sticking up for me and briana has to come at them like that? whatever, im SO over it. i'm trying to think of whatelse happened. oh yeah, i stopped being friends with jon. not because i dont hate him, but because its just to much to deal with. plus, kara told pam that he was using me or whatever. i'm not really sure HOW excatly he would be using me, but, idk if i should even believe that. i mean, she does have a reason to lie about that. it doesnt really matter anymore though. im going to miss talking to him, but it isnt like he's dead or anything. i still really liked him, but, its just easier not being friends with him i guess. just because then he doesnt have to worry about drama w/ me, or choosing between me and lauren. soooo yeah, like i said, tomorrow i am going over jess's and i hope everyone goes. i hope this weekend doesnt completly suck, and i hope i stop being depressed. oh yeah, and i talked to my guidance counslour today and figured out that i lying to myself and saying i'm happy, and for a while i believed myself, but im starting to realize that i'm really, really not. i really dont want to sound all stupid and, as much as i hate to say this term "emo", but it's just whats going on. maybe someone will be able to cheer me up soon. maybe i'll be able to cheer myself up soon.