(no subject)
Last night was the most random night of my entire life. No, it wasn't. But it came in close second. So, it's like 830 I guess and my neighbor calls my house saying that there are two boys looking for me. It was so weird I was like getting really creeped out. But anyway, this kid Justin shows up at my house with his friend Jon and we walked down to the lake together. I ended up hooking up with Justin, which I really, really regret. Not because he isn't cute or anything but I think I gave him the wrong impression. He even asked me out and I said no because I like someone else. A lot of people have showed interest in me lately but I keep denying them because I have feelings for someone already. I still hookup though, I have to quit doing that. I just like to hookup because for the time being it makes me feel special and like someone really likes me, even though I know they do not. It scares me because I told myself that I would never get attacehd to another hookup ever again, and I ended up falling so hard, for the same excat person that I promised I would never even see again. I hate what I am doing to myself. I need to get out of this slump that I am in. I just want someone to talk to that feels the same way about whats going on. I just want the world to stop rotating, and for everyone to just go back to being 5 years old again. I miss my old life, I miss my old friends, I miss my old memories. I've cried about 10 times in the past week. No one really noticed.