worst feeling in the world
when your boyfriend tells you, you have a terrible temper and he doesn't know how to get rid of it....Wonderful feeling let me tell ya...NOT I fuckin feel like shit and i can't fuckin sleep...I'm so pissed off and upset and angry with myself at the same time....I can't fuckin help i have a temper, that's all i've been shown is people throwing shit at one another and people screaming at one another....my life aint exactly fuckin perfect...
whatever I'm trying to shrug this shit off...normally i can but im like super depressed about matt yelling at me and telling me i have a terrible temper...it's the fuckin truth I deserved it but I feel really depressed and shitty :(...ha i even thought of running my fuckin car off the road tonight cause i feel that shitty about everything. but obviously i'm still here and kicking so whatever to that whole comment. I would never grow the balls to even consider doing that cause i'd be too worried about hurting others. and besides I don't feel like this 24/7 so there is no reason for me to do such a thing.
I know matt loves me with all his heart and soul but i sometimes really can't stand some of the things his friends do. and he always backs them up cause he is being a good friend. I just wish i could accept hey their his friends not mine so back the fuck off.
I want to do something for myself for a change. I thought about enrolling in taylor sportsplex by myself and just going to the games alone. I probably wont even bother telling anyone about them cause they would never consider driving all the way to southgate/taylor to see an hour game. Even though *cough cough* i do that for them.
I'm kind of glad im venting right now cause i'd probably be tossing and turning. I've already thrown my glasses at the wall cause i'm so pissed at myself but they did nothing to them. These glasses are made of steal for sure. Most of the time when things like this happen I just go to sleep and curl up in a ball and don't say anything more about it. but obviously that isn't going to work as well to finally get rid of the problem. I'm sick of these terrible cycles every two years I get. I'm tired of feeling like i'm on a fuckin roller coaster. so here I am typing my heart out and probably burning the eyes out of every readers sockets for so much words.
I've tried my best to control my temper. but i guess i'm gonna have to consider going to a therapist about it to be put on medication. Cause obviously just talking it out and trying to deal with it on my own ain't going to cut a thing. hopefully they can perscribe some medication for me to control it finally....
whatever i think im done ranting about everything. I hope everyone is having a better summer than obviously I am right now.
Night
whatever I'm trying to shrug this shit off...normally i can but im like super depressed about matt yelling at me and telling me i have a terrible temper...it's the fuckin truth I deserved it but I feel really depressed and shitty :(...ha i even thought of running my fuckin car off the road tonight cause i feel that shitty about everything. but obviously i'm still here and kicking so whatever to that whole comment. I would never grow the balls to even consider doing that cause i'd be too worried about hurting others. and besides I don't feel like this 24/7 so there is no reason for me to do such a thing.
I know matt loves me with all his heart and soul but i sometimes really can't stand some of the things his friends do. and he always backs them up cause he is being a good friend. I just wish i could accept hey their his friends not mine so back the fuck off.
I want to do something for myself for a change. I thought about enrolling in taylor sportsplex by myself and just going to the games alone. I probably wont even bother telling anyone about them cause they would never consider driving all the way to southgate/taylor to see an hour game. Even though *cough cough* i do that for them.
I'm kind of glad im venting right now cause i'd probably be tossing and turning. I've already thrown my glasses at the wall cause i'm so pissed at myself but they did nothing to them. These glasses are made of steal for sure. Most of the time when things like this happen I just go to sleep and curl up in a ball and don't say anything more about it. but obviously that isn't going to work as well to finally get rid of the problem. I'm sick of these terrible cycles every two years I get. I'm tired of feeling like i'm on a fuckin roller coaster. so here I am typing my heart out and probably burning the eyes out of every readers sockets for so much words.
I've tried my best to control my temper. but i guess i'm gonna have to consider going to a therapist about it to be put on medication. Cause obviously just talking it out and trying to deal with it on my own ain't going to cut a thing. hopefully they can perscribe some medication for me to control it finally....
whatever i think im done ranting about everything. I hope everyone is having a better summer than obviously I am right now.
Night