Substitutes for love
In the past month, I've discovered several ways one can cope with disappointments in dating. For instance...
1. If he doesn't respond after you send him a really well-thought out, heartfelt message: a bag of Doritos and salsa.
2. If he cancels out on a date (last minute) which you've been excited about for days: three slices of rum cake, the more buttery, the better.
3. If he cancels out on a date for two consecutive times: a pint of Haagen Dazs Choc Choc Chip.
4. If he gives you a cold shoulder after you pour your heart out to him over dinner: a total body massage at the Spa, the more pressure, the more pain, the better.
5. If dating stage advances beyond a month without ever, well, actually advancing: a pair of jeans from Mix.
6. If dating stalls for a week, and no word from him--nothing: a pair of chocolate brown driving shoes from Tod's.
7. If dating, for some unfathomable reason, restarts and goes back to square one: a pair of good friends, preferably named Joujou and Ralph.
1. If he doesn't respond after you send him a really well-thought out, heartfelt message: a bag of Doritos and salsa.
2. If he cancels out on a date (last minute) which you've been excited about for days: three slices of rum cake, the more buttery, the better.
3. If he cancels out on a date for two consecutive times: a pint of Haagen Dazs Choc Choc Chip.
4. If he gives you a cold shoulder after you pour your heart out to him over dinner: a total body massage at the Spa, the more pressure, the more pain, the better.
5. If dating stage advances beyond a month without ever, well, actually advancing: a pair of jeans from Mix.
6. If dating stalls for a week, and no word from him--nothing: a pair of chocolate brown driving shoes from Tod's.
7. If dating, for some unfathomable reason, restarts and goes back to square one: a pair of good friends, preferably named Joujou and Ralph.