[fic] Chapter 11b - Love Complex
Title: Love Complex
Length: 11b/??
Author:JadeXScandal
Rating: overall NC17
Pairings: YooSu (main), YunJae (side) (hints off: MinSu, JaeMin, Past!HoMin&Past!Ho/FC)
Themes: Romance, smut, Angst and some fluff at times.
Warning: Unbetaed(but with Word spelling check), Yaoi, crossdressing!Su
Disclaimer: I'm still saving my money., & banner made byaiko103
Summary for this chapter: A date turns out to a disaster, Jaejoong finds comfort in Changmin and Yunho finally realizes he misses something.
A/N: My mother's annoying the crap out of me, I don't want to call my boss to ask when I have to work again =____=!
Previous Chapters:
Prologue - The salvation
Chapter 1 - Seduction
Chapter 2 - Find your muse
Chapter 3 - Sexual Education and Cosplay
Chapter 4 - Discovered
Chapter 5 - Morning excercises and betrayal
Chapter 6 - Tell me the truth
Chapter 7a - Cheating (part 1)
Chapter 7b - Cheating (part 2)
Chapter 8 - Open up your heart
Chapter 9 - Why make up sex is the best sex you can have.
Chapter 10 - Extra turtoring
Interlude - Happy Birthday, Yoochun-shii!
Chapter 11a - Difficulties (part 1)
Note:
-There had been a little confusion about the way they address Jaejoong in this fic, if you don't remember, then read the Character profiles , I can remember I mentioned the reason there. Hopes it clears up the confusion :).
- The text the italic parts are the Junsu's (and sometimes Yoochun's) thoughts.
-I still not figured out how many chapters this fic will be, but for now, I've plenty of ideas. That means there will still be a lot of chapters in the future XD (until I just get so annoyed and fed up with this story that I just toss it away *bricked*
Chapter 11b - Difficulties (part 2)
The city was always a haven of light at night. A very pleasant view, quite calming actually.
The view together with a cigarette and a shot of liquor was a perfect combination. He blew a big plume of smoke out of his mouth and nose, his face as marble as stone. Normally, he’d sit in his office at this hour, but today he didn’t feel like it.
He needed a break.
Jung Yunho was a man of structure, strict rules and a daily routine. But things changed, he was sick of all those changes. They already had fucked up his life.
Now that he was on his own, ghosts from the past returned.
-“Yunho… You’re not the one I love...”
“What-what are you talking about?”
“I don’t love you like you love me, Yunho.”
“…”
“The one I really love is... my brother.”
Memories of a one-sided love.
“Listen to me...”
“No! I’m not like my brother, okay?!”
“Changmin... I-“
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it, I know we look alike! You don’t have to tell me tha- hrmm... nhh ha... w-what... Yunho...”
“You’re nothing like your brother, Changmin. Even though you look alike…”
“But… you love him...”
“Wrong, I loved him. It’s different now… I made a mistake...”
“A mistake?”
“The one I really loved was you all along.”
“…Yunho...”
Memories of jealousy, heartbreaks and confusion.
“I wanted to study psychology, but I was never able to.”
“Did you give up?”
“No… the money just wasn’t there... I had to take care of my parents, that why I took up this job. It was the easiest way to make money.” “
“Did you ever feel ashamed of that, Jaejoong?”
“…Yes I did... But I’ll do anything to take care of my parents… it just feels right.”
Memories of broken dreams, promises and pain.
Yunho heaved a heavy sigh, annoyed by the sudden flashbacks. What do they mean to him now, at this very moment? All he wanted was for them to all go away, he was sick of the decisions he’d made, the promises, the sacrifices.
That was then, somewhere in the past.
“Never rely on the past. You have to think only about tomorrow.”
Then... why was there one lone tear running down his cheek?
---
His eyes were as big as tennis balls as he stared at the table on the far end of the room. His parents were there, with Yun Jin. Junsu bit on his lip and continued gazing at them, sitting there together.
Like a real family.
“W... what…”
The shock made his whole body freeze in place; he wasn’t aware of anything happening around him, he just stood there, frozen. He didn’t even notice he was tearing up. His parents looked so happy, sitting on both sides of Yun Jin, who was cutely dolled up in a pink dress. She was beautiful.
“They... they’re smiling...”
He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the smiles on their tired faces said enough. Junsu covered his mouth with his hand, his shoulders quivered and he closed his eyes, until he felt two familiar, warm hands wrapping around him. He turned around in Yoochun’s embrace and cried.
“I was wondering what was taking you so long... “ Yoochun whispered in his ear.
“Y-Yoochun-shii…”
“Yes Su...?”
“I... I want to go… home...”
Yoochun lifted his head and stared in the direction Junsu was looking at just a second ago. He saw the happy family, their smiles. They clearly cared only for their daughter. Suddenly he understood. The reason why Junsu was so vulnerable was because he was neglected by his family.
They acted like he didn’t exist. They probably didn’t even know that their son hadn’t been home for a long, long time.
Really, parents would have freaked out if they found that their son hadn’t come home without calling to tell them where he was. They’d have called the police, started a search and wouldn’t sleep until they found him. He despised them for their ignorant attitude. They shouldn’t even be called parents.
The teacher sighed as he felt Junsu shivering against him; he couldn’t take this any longer. “Okay... let’s go home.”
With a quick talk and not losing Junsu out of his sight, he received the restaurant check and left with the student in his arms. As soon as they were in the car, he tugged him close. Junsu didn’t stop crying and it felt like they’d sat there for ages.
But they didn’t mind that at all.
Junsu couldn’t help but let his tears flow, he felt tired, but yet so angry.
Why couldn’t he be happy for once? Every time something great happened to him, something would pop up and ruin it all. Mostly the people who ruined it were his parents. They always were too busy with Yun Jin to even talk to him. If he just had a question or wanted to tell where he’d be going after school, he’d be reprimanded at, his parents claiming that he was hindering their way.
He’d never heard anything else but that. And he never saw them smile. Not once when he was there.
His painful past was like an arrow shot through his heart. It was the same pain he felt the day he wanted to end his life for good. The only reason why he wanted to live on was because of his teacher; his lover.
Yoochun didn’t know what to say, his childhood had been so different from Junsu’s and he just couldn’t place himself in his position. But him just being there was enough for Junsu, even though the latter didn’t say that. “Let’s go home, okay?”
Junsu nodded and let go of Yoochun’s arms. They drove away from the restaurant in silence. The student did his best to hold back his tears, but every time he tried, a picture of his family appeared in front of him. He hated that of himself, his fury, his jealousy. Did he deserve all this? And for what?
As soon as they arrived home and closed the door behind them, Yoochun pulled the teenager in an embrace again. Junsu’s hands moved to his face and pulled him closer for a kiss.
I want to be loved.
Tongues danced in an eternal, sensual tango. Junsu’s breath hitched as he desperately wanted more, obeying to every imaginary order Yoochun gave him.
As long as he’s here I can live.
The teacher’s hands were on his ass, playing with his rear through the two layers of clothes. It made Junsu grind his crotch against him.
“Yoochun-shii…”
“Let’s not go all the way tonight.” Yoochun whispered.
“W-why?”
“I don’t want to force you into things like this when you’re not feeling well. I’ll make you feel better, but you have to promise me you’ll go to sleep afterwards.”
Junsu bit on his lip, but nodded. “Only if you’ll be with me all the time… I... I don’t want to be alone.”
Yoochun pecked Junsu’s forehead and cheeks. “If you feel safer that way.”
They made their way to the couch, lips still glued together. Yoochun got rid of Junsu’s pants, leaving the boxers on. The teacher worked his lips on the hard organ underneath the fabric, caressing it with swift kisses.
Junsu squirmed and grabbed the sides of the couch fiercely. As he felt Yoochun’s slender fingers touching him, removing his cotton and licking the throbbing shaft, he panted.
“Nhaa... o-oh…” His whole body trembled as Yoochun jerked him off quickly, making him scream at his loudest volume. “Aaah! Yoo-Yoochun-shii... f-faster!”
Yoochun fulfilled the student’s request, his hand speeding up as the first precum formed on the head. “Don’t hold it back Junsu, let it go.”
“Unf... nhh… “
His tongue touched the slit and licked away the bittersweet semen. “Junsu...” He breathed against the throbbing organ. “Cum for me.”
The man’s low voice made him spill; his mouth immediately taken by a pair of lips.
“Yoochun-shii… I... I-I love you.” He panted in between their lip lock.
“I love you too, Junsu. You’re the most beautiful and cute person I’ve ever met.”
“Stay with me, forever.”
“I won’t ever leave you.”
---
(Yunho´s POV)
There were two of them.
Twins.
The same, but yet so different.
The oldest by one minute, Shim Changhae, and the youngest, Shim Changmin.
I met them on the same day, the first time I went to the university I´d become headmaster of. Two troublemakers, sitting in my father´s office waiting for his preach. Both their eyes were focused on me as I walked in, two pairs of dark but pure eyes. I was taken aback by them both.
But soon after, I found out the difference between the two.
As the eldest, Changhae took great responsibility for his younger brother, always making sure he could see what he was doing. But on the other hand, he was the one who was the most adventurous, and there was nothing he couldn´t do. He wasn´t scared of anything. He was the first one to be surrounded by my arms.
A bittersweet and short romance.
It just co-existed out of lust; real feelings were never the matter in that relationship. On the outside he seemed dominant, like he knew what he wanted. But as soon as I was there, another side of him emerged, a side that would shock others.
I was the only one who could tame this wild animal.
Or so I thought.
A month was all it lasted. He said he couldn’t be bonded to me, because his love belonged to a whole other person.
A deceivable love.
The youngest Changmin was a whole different story. A closed book. But that only drew me closer to him. I knew he was smart, he had the highest grades in his year, but he hardly spoke to anyone around him except for his twin brother.
And like real twins, they were close.
But I never expected them to be that close.
What I didn’t know was that while I was still on the move with Changhae, Changmin had already been in my mind faster than his older brother. I decided not to put attention to that matter. But it all got clear when I found out that he knew about his brother and I being like that.
He told me off so many times, telling, even though Changhae was strong on the outside, he was impulsive and easy.
He wanted me to stay away. I didn’t.
Up till the point Changhae told me there was another one for him. “The one I really love is… my brother.”
“What... Changmin?” I didn’t find it weird, it was kind of normal to have a strong bond as twins.
“It’s not just this Yunho… I want Changmin to be mine only… nobody can touch him except for me.”
“That’s kind of egoistic, don’t you think?”
“He’s the other part of me, we can’t be separated.”
Of course I didn’t agree with him.
That was when I found out that Changmin had been on my mind all this time, even while I was with Changhae, when we made love, I’d think of Changmin instead of Changhae.
It all made sense then.
I told him I’d keep visiting him even though we were through, but instead of coming during the times he was home, I came when he wasn’t; the times Changmin would mostly spend on homework, or so it seemed.
Because Changmin had a secret even his own flesh and blood didn’t know about.
I caught him in bed with a classmate of his, but it wasn’t just the regular deal. It was like a whole sex shop was robbed up to the very last sex toy you could think of.
Tied up, blindfolded, choked and penetrated.
The one who reacted was the other. Shocked and embarrassed, he left without warning Changmin, leaving him all prepared on the bed.
Being caught off guard and a little uncomfortable about the situation I had landed into, I walked over to the guy. I knew he was 18 and all, actually only just 2 days, but still, to see him with things like that, it was the least you’d expect from a straight A student.
As I got the handcuffs off from his wrists, his body language and expression already had an edge of annoyance to it, until he removed the blindfold himself. His pure eyes filled with shock as he saw my face.
He threw a tantrum, tried to hide all the toys he had been keeping for a long time, hiding it for everyone. Quickly he tried to finish it off himself, right in front of my eyes.
“Listen to me...” I said as I rested my hands on his bare shoulders.
But he brushed them off immediately, his hands still touching himself. “No! I’m not like my brother, okay?!”
“Changmin… I-“ I kept trying to look into his eyes, and if he’d looked at me, he probably would’ve understood.
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it, I know we look alike!” He screamed, composing his moans. I had just about enough of his ignorant behavior, so I came closer with every word that crossed his plump lips. “You don’t have to tell me tha- hrmm... nhh ha.. w-what... Yunho...”
“You’re nothing like your brother, Changmin. Even though you look alike…” I told him as honest as I could. I could understand that the comments of Changhae and Changmin being so alike must’ve pissed the youngest off. That statement about Changhae and Changmin being alike was only half true. Changhae was nothing like Changmin.
Even more so when I found out about his secret.
“But… you love him…” He said.
“Wrong, I loved him... it’s different now… I made a mistake...”
“A mistake?”
I nodded and held his hands, intertwining my fingers with his. “The one I really loved was you all along.”
“…Yunho...” My name, a whisper from his mouth. He stared at me as I stared back.
“Can you let me take care of that?”
“…If you promise that what you saw won’t spread.”
“Alright, if you promise me to use your secret on you.”
From the first time came a second time, and from a second to a third, until we couldn’t stop. It was the first time I really felt love, and this time, it was for real. We did all kinds of things, all behind the world’s back, but mostly, without telling Changhae.
But there was no way to keep hiding it forever.
For two years nobody caught us, we’d see each other regularly, like real lovers. That is, until the time came when we got caught.
By none other than Changmin’s very own twin brother.
The screaming and scolding gave me a headache. The brothers who had an unbreakable bond, as Changhae had always claimed, where was it now?
I took it; it was like stealing candy from a child.
I wasn’t scared of Changhae throwing a fit at me; the thing I was afraid of was that Changhae would confess what he had been feeling for his younger brother.
Unfortunately, the worst of events escalated.
“How can you be with a guy like Yunho?! Do you know what’s good for you?!”
“Of course I know! You weren’t satisfied with Yunho, so that’s your business! What I want to do with him is my problem, it has nothing to do with you!”
“It does! It has everything to do with me!”
“What are you talking about?!”
What happened then was a shock for all, Changhae didn’t simply confess, no. It wasn’t even a little kiss either.
Changhae’s tongue was licking Changmin’s lips seductively, his hands going to a lower area, groping his own brother. And while doing all that, his piercing eyes focused on me. The younger Changmin was shocked.
Speechless, he just stood there, looking as violated as a teenage girl who got raped by a perverted man in his 50’s.
“I told you already Yunho, the only one who can touch my brother is me.” His tone had an edge of insanity, but still I wanted to argue about it.
Then, Changmin just yelled at his loudest, scaring both me and Changhae. He was in tears, totally freaked out, yelling things about trust, not playing games and lying. Neither Changhae nor I was able to interrupt the immense volume of Changmin’s voice. He told us both to go fuck ourselves, for using him as a toy.
He thought he was part of a bet.
I could imagine how he got that idea, how Changhae had put across the “Changmin’s mine and you can’t touch him” thing. He avoided us; it was as if he’d just disappeared. Changhae disappeared as well, but I didn’t care about him.
Time passed, and I was almost becoming the new headmaster, my father was ready to retire and I was ready to take everything over. But he returned, as a sexual education teacher. Shim Changmin was back.
---
Music really inspires me writing this.. It's unbelievable XD and it really helps! (maybe.. Also the candy I'm eating helps LOL. And I must say, I love how HoMin's past came out, I wanted it to do through Yunho's POV, so you know how he feels about the whole thing he had with Changmin. I cut it off till the time when Yunho just got headmaster & Changmin was hired as sex ed. teacher. Simply because I wanted to save a little for a later chapter ;).
On little note on the side, at the begin of the story I thought of Changmin being 22, but when I was calculating it with Yunho's age (31) it would be a age difference of 9 years... It frightened me a little, so I added an extra 2 years for MinMin.
And now you also know Changmin has a hot twin brother, too. Will he be seen in the future, or will he just be a memory.. Hmr. Have to think about that, if I'd add him in it would cause extra tension, and it's good writing material...
Hmmm ^^.
Length: 11b/??
Author:JadeXScandal
Rating: overall NC17
Pairings: YooSu (main), YunJae (side) (hints off: MinSu, JaeMin, Past!HoMin&Past!Ho/FC)
Themes: Romance, smut, Angst and some fluff at times.
Warning: Unbetaed(but with Word spelling check), Yaoi, crossdressing!Su
Disclaimer: I'm still saving my money., & banner made byaiko103
Summary for this chapter: A date turns out to a disaster, Jaejoong finds comfort in Changmin and Yunho finally realizes he misses something.
A/N: My mother's annoying the crap out of me, I don't want to call my boss to ask when I have to work again =____=!
Previous Chapters:
Prologue - The salvation
Chapter 1 - Seduction
Chapter 2 - Find your muse
Chapter 3 - Sexual Education and Cosplay
Chapter 4 - Discovered
Chapter 5 - Morning excercises and betrayal
Chapter 6 - Tell me the truth
Chapter 7a - Cheating (part 1)
Chapter 7b - Cheating (part 2)
Chapter 8 - Open up your heart
Chapter 9 - Why make up sex is the best sex you can have.
Chapter 10 - Extra turtoring
Interlude - Happy Birthday, Yoochun-shii!
Chapter 11a - Difficulties (part 1)
Note:
-There had been a little confusion about the way they address Jaejoong in this fic, if you don't remember, then read the Character profiles , I can remember I mentioned the reason there. Hopes it clears up the confusion :).
- The text the italic parts are the Junsu's (and sometimes Yoochun's) thoughts.
-I still not figured out how many chapters this fic will be, but for now, I've plenty of ideas. That means there will still be a lot of chapters in the future XD (until I just get so annoyed and fed up with this story that I just toss it away *bricked*
Chapter 11b - Difficulties (part 2)
The city was always a haven of light at night. A very pleasant view, quite calming actually.
The view together with a cigarette and a shot of liquor was a perfect combination. He blew a big plume of smoke out of his mouth and nose, his face as marble as stone. Normally, he’d sit in his office at this hour, but today he didn’t feel like it.
He needed a break.
Jung Yunho was a man of structure, strict rules and a daily routine. But things changed, he was sick of all those changes. They already had fucked up his life.
Now that he was on his own, ghosts from the past returned.
-“Yunho… You’re not the one I love...”
“What-what are you talking about?”
“I don’t love you like you love me, Yunho.”
“…”
“The one I really love is... my brother.”
Memories of a one-sided love.
“Listen to me...”
“No! I’m not like my brother, okay?!”
“Changmin... I-“
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it, I know we look alike! You don’t have to tell me tha- hrmm... nhh ha... w-what... Yunho...”
“You’re nothing like your brother, Changmin. Even though you look alike…”
“But… you love him...”
“Wrong, I loved him. It’s different now… I made a mistake...”
“A mistake?”
“The one I really loved was you all along.”
“…Yunho...”
Memories of jealousy, heartbreaks and confusion.
“I wanted to study psychology, but I was never able to.”
“Did you give up?”
“No… the money just wasn’t there... I had to take care of my parents, that why I took up this job. It was the easiest way to make money.” “
“Did you ever feel ashamed of that, Jaejoong?”
“…Yes I did... But I’ll do anything to take care of my parents… it just feels right.”
Memories of broken dreams, promises and pain.
Yunho heaved a heavy sigh, annoyed by the sudden flashbacks. What do they mean to him now, at this very moment? All he wanted was for them to all go away, he was sick of the decisions he’d made, the promises, the sacrifices.
That was then, somewhere in the past.
“Never rely on the past. You have to think only about tomorrow.”
Then... why was there one lone tear running down his cheek?
---
His eyes were as big as tennis balls as he stared at the table on the far end of the room. His parents were there, with Yun Jin. Junsu bit on his lip and continued gazing at them, sitting there together.
Like a real family.
“W... what…”
The shock made his whole body freeze in place; he wasn’t aware of anything happening around him, he just stood there, frozen. He didn’t even notice he was tearing up. His parents looked so happy, sitting on both sides of Yun Jin, who was cutely dolled up in a pink dress. She was beautiful.
“They... they’re smiling...”
He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the smiles on their tired faces said enough. Junsu covered his mouth with his hand, his shoulders quivered and he closed his eyes, until he felt two familiar, warm hands wrapping around him. He turned around in Yoochun’s embrace and cried.
“I was wondering what was taking you so long... “ Yoochun whispered in his ear.
“Y-Yoochun-shii…”
“Yes Su...?”
“I... I want to go… home...”
Yoochun lifted his head and stared in the direction Junsu was looking at just a second ago. He saw the happy family, their smiles. They clearly cared only for their daughter. Suddenly he understood. The reason why Junsu was so vulnerable was because he was neglected by his family.
They acted like he didn’t exist. They probably didn’t even know that their son hadn’t been home for a long, long time.
Really, parents would have freaked out if they found that their son hadn’t come home without calling to tell them where he was. They’d have called the police, started a search and wouldn’t sleep until they found him. He despised them for their ignorant attitude. They shouldn’t even be called parents.
The teacher sighed as he felt Junsu shivering against him; he couldn’t take this any longer. “Okay... let’s go home.”
With a quick talk and not losing Junsu out of his sight, he received the restaurant check and left with the student in his arms. As soon as they were in the car, he tugged him close. Junsu didn’t stop crying and it felt like they’d sat there for ages.
But they didn’t mind that at all.
Junsu couldn’t help but let his tears flow, he felt tired, but yet so angry.
Why couldn’t he be happy for once? Every time something great happened to him, something would pop up and ruin it all. Mostly the people who ruined it were his parents. They always were too busy with Yun Jin to even talk to him. If he just had a question or wanted to tell where he’d be going after school, he’d be reprimanded at, his parents claiming that he was hindering their way.
He’d never heard anything else but that. And he never saw them smile. Not once when he was there.
His painful past was like an arrow shot through his heart. It was the same pain he felt the day he wanted to end his life for good. The only reason why he wanted to live on was because of his teacher; his lover.
Yoochun didn’t know what to say, his childhood had been so different from Junsu’s and he just couldn’t place himself in his position. But him just being there was enough for Junsu, even though the latter didn’t say that. “Let’s go home, okay?”
Junsu nodded and let go of Yoochun’s arms. They drove away from the restaurant in silence. The student did his best to hold back his tears, but every time he tried, a picture of his family appeared in front of him. He hated that of himself, his fury, his jealousy. Did he deserve all this? And for what?
As soon as they arrived home and closed the door behind them, Yoochun pulled the teenager in an embrace again. Junsu’s hands moved to his face and pulled him closer for a kiss.
I want to be loved.
Tongues danced in an eternal, sensual tango. Junsu’s breath hitched as he desperately wanted more, obeying to every imaginary order Yoochun gave him.
As long as he’s here I can live.
The teacher’s hands were on his ass, playing with his rear through the two layers of clothes. It made Junsu grind his crotch against him.
“Yoochun-shii…”
“Let’s not go all the way tonight.” Yoochun whispered.
“W-why?”
“I don’t want to force you into things like this when you’re not feeling well. I’ll make you feel better, but you have to promise me you’ll go to sleep afterwards.”
Junsu bit on his lip, but nodded. “Only if you’ll be with me all the time… I... I don’t want to be alone.”
Yoochun pecked Junsu’s forehead and cheeks. “If you feel safer that way.”
They made their way to the couch, lips still glued together. Yoochun got rid of Junsu’s pants, leaving the boxers on. The teacher worked his lips on the hard organ underneath the fabric, caressing it with swift kisses.
Junsu squirmed and grabbed the sides of the couch fiercely. As he felt Yoochun’s slender fingers touching him, removing his cotton and licking the throbbing shaft, he panted.
“Nhaa... o-oh…” His whole body trembled as Yoochun jerked him off quickly, making him scream at his loudest volume. “Aaah! Yoo-Yoochun-shii... f-faster!”
Yoochun fulfilled the student’s request, his hand speeding up as the first precum formed on the head. “Don’t hold it back Junsu, let it go.”
“Unf... nhh… “
His tongue touched the slit and licked away the bittersweet semen. “Junsu...” He breathed against the throbbing organ. “Cum for me.”
The man’s low voice made him spill; his mouth immediately taken by a pair of lips.
“Yoochun-shii… I... I-I love you.” He panted in between their lip lock.
“I love you too, Junsu. You’re the most beautiful and cute person I’ve ever met.”
“Stay with me, forever.”
“I won’t ever leave you.”
---
(Yunho´s POV)
There were two of them.
Twins.
The same, but yet so different.
The oldest by one minute, Shim Changhae, and the youngest, Shim Changmin.
I met them on the same day, the first time I went to the university I´d become headmaster of. Two troublemakers, sitting in my father´s office waiting for his preach. Both their eyes were focused on me as I walked in, two pairs of dark but pure eyes. I was taken aback by them both.
But soon after, I found out the difference between the two.
As the eldest, Changhae took great responsibility for his younger brother, always making sure he could see what he was doing. But on the other hand, he was the one who was the most adventurous, and there was nothing he couldn´t do. He wasn´t scared of anything. He was the first one to be surrounded by my arms.
A bittersweet and short romance.
It just co-existed out of lust; real feelings were never the matter in that relationship. On the outside he seemed dominant, like he knew what he wanted. But as soon as I was there, another side of him emerged, a side that would shock others.
I was the only one who could tame this wild animal.
Or so I thought.
A month was all it lasted. He said he couldn’t be bonded to me, because his love belonged to a whole other person.
A deceivable love.
The youngest Changmin was a whole different story. A closed book. But that only drew me closer to him. I knew he was smart, he had the highest grades in his year, but he hardly spoke to anyone around him except for his twin brother.
And like real twins, they were close.
But I never expected them to be that close.
What I didn’t know was that while I was still on the move with Changhae, Changmin had already been in my mind faster than his older brother. I decided not to put attention to that matter. But it all got clear when I found out that he knew about his brother and I being like that.
He told me off so many times, telling, even though Changhae was strong on the outside, he was impulsive and easy.
He wanted me to stay away. I didn’t.
Up till the point Changhae told me there was another one for him. “The one I really love is… my brother.”
“What... Changmin?” I didn’t find it weird, it was kind of normal to have a strong bond as twins.
“It’s not just this Yunho… I want Changmin to be mine only… nobody can touch him except for me.”
“That’s kind of egoistic, don’t you think?”
“He’s the other part of me, we can’t be separated.”
Of course I didn’t agree with him.
That was when I found out that Changmin had been on my mind all this time, even while I was with Changhae, when we made love, I’d think of Changmin instead of Changhae.
It all made sense then.
I told him I’d keep visiting him even though we were through, but instead of coming during the times he was home, I came when he wasn’t; the times Changmin would mostly spend on homework, or so it seemed.
Because Changmin had a secret even his own flesh and blood didn’t know about.
I caught him in bed with a classmate of his, but it wasn’t just the regular deal. It was like a whole sex shop was robbed up to the very last sex toy you could think of.
Tied up, blindfolded, choked and penetrated.
The one who reacted was the other. Shocked and embarrassed, he left without warning Changmin, leaving him all prepared on the bed.
Being caught off guard and a little uncomfortable about the situation I had landed into, I walked over to the guy. I knew he was 18 and all, actually only just 2 days, but still, to see him with things like that, it was the least you’d expect from a straight A student.
As I got the handcuffs off from his wrists, his body language and expression already had an edge of annoyance to it, until he removed the blindfold himself. His pure eyes filled with shock as he saw my face.
He threw a tantrum, tried to hide all the toys he had been keeping for a long time, hiding it for everyone. Quickly he tried to finish it off himself, right in front of my eyes.
“Listen to me...” I said as I rested my hands on his bare shoulders.
But he brushed them off immediately, his hands still touching himself. “No! I’m not like my brother, okay?!”
“Changmin… I-“ I kept trying to look into his eyes, and if he’d looked at me, he probably would’ve understood.
“Stop! I don’t want to hear it, I know we look alike!” He screamed, composing his moans. I had just about enough of his ignorant behavior, so I came closer with every word that crossed his plump lips. “You don’t have to tell me tha- hrmm... nhh ha.. w-what... Yunho...”
“You’re nothing like your brother, Changmin. Even though you look alike…” I told him as honest as I could. I could understand that the comments of Changhae and Changmin being so alike must’ve pissed the youngest off. That statement about Changhae and Changmin being alike was only half true. Changhae was nothing like Changmin.
Even more so when I found out about his secret.
“But… you love him…” He said.
“Wrong, I loved him... it’s different now… I made a mistake...”
“A mistake?”
I nodded and held his hands, intertwining my fingers with his. “The one I really loved was you all along.”
“…Yunho...” My name, a whisper from his mouth. He stared at me as I stared back.
“Can you let me take care of that?”
“…If you promise that what you saw won’t spread.”
“Alright, if you promise me to use your secret on you.”
From the first time came a second time, and from a second to a third, until we couldn’t stop. It was the first time I really felt love, and this time, it was for real. We did all kinds of things, all behind the world’s back, but mostly, without telling Changhae.
But there was no way to keep hiding it forever.
For two years nobody caught us, we’d see each other regularly, like real lovers. That is, until the time came when we got caught.
By none other than Changmin’s very own twin brother.
The screaming and scolding gave me a headache. The brothers who had an unbreakable bond, as Changhae had always claimed, where was it now?
I took it; it was like stealing candy from a child.
I wasn’t scared of Changhae throwing a fit at me; the thing I was afraid of was that Changhae would confess what he had been feeling for his younger brother.
Unfortunately, the worst of events escalated.
“How can you be with a guy like Yunho?! Do you know what’s good for you?!”
“Of course I know! You weren’t satisfied with Yunho, so that’s your business! What I want to do with him is my problem, it has nothing to do with you!”
“It does! It has everything to do with me!”
“What are you talking about?!”
What happened then was a shock for all, Changhae didn’t simply confess, no. It wasn’t even a little kiss either.
Changhae’s tongue was licking Changmin’s lips seductively, his hands going to a lower area, groping his own brother. And while doing all that, his piercing eyes focused on me. The younger Changmin was shocked.
Speechless, he just stood there, looking as violated as a teenage girl who got raped by a perverted man in his 50’s.
“I told you already Yunho, the only one who can touch my brother is me.” His tone had an edge of insanity, but still I wanted to argue about it.
Then, Changmin just yelled at his loudest, scaring both me and Changhae. He was in tears, totally freaked out, yelling things about trust, not playing games and lying. Neither Changhae nor I was able to interrupt the immense volume of Changmin’s voice. He told us both to go fuck ourselves, for using him as a toy.
He thought he was part of a bet.
I could imagine how he got that idea, how Changhae had put across the “Changmin’s mine and you can’t touch him” thing. He avoided us; it was as if he’d just disappeared. Changhae disappeared as well, but I didn’t care about him.
Time passed, and I was almost becoming the new headmaster, my father was ready to retire and I was ready to take everything over. But he returned, as a sexual education teacher. Shim Changmin was back.
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Music really inspires me writing this.. It's unbelievable XD and it really helps! (maybe.. Also the candy I'm eating helps LOL. And I must say, I love how HoMin's past came out, I wanted it to do through Yunho's POV, so you know how he feels about the whole thing he had with Changmin. I cut it off till the time when Yunho just got headmaster & Changmin was hired as sex ed. teacher. Simply because I wanted to save a little for a later chapter ;).
On little note on the side, at the begin of the story I thought of Changmin being 22, but when I was calculating it with Yunho's age (31) it would be a age difference of 9 years... It frightened me a little, so I added an extra 2 years for MinMin.
And now you also know Changmin has a hot twin brother, too. Will he be seen in the future, or will he just be a memory.. Hmr. Have to think about that, if I'd add him in it would cause extra tension, and it's good writing material...
Hmmm ^^.