Imagine That. Part 2
Title: Imagine That
One-Shot Part 2
Pairing: KaiSoo, ChanKai, KrisKai, BaekYeol and XiuHan if you blink really hard.
Rating: mmmmm R I guess.
Summary: Jongin has always had to accept things. Just things in general.
___________________________________________________________________
Instead of going home for Thanksgiving, Jongin spends the week at Kyungsoo’s. He’s surprised when his friend offers shyly. Of course he accepts and he’s beyond excited. Kyungsoo lives deep in the city, in an urban area where there is no peace at night or day.
Jongin calls his mother the week before break to tell her the news and she sounds devastated. “But I was going to make you kimchi fried rice! And fried egg! Jongin! You can’t just say that out of nowhere and expect me take it well I haven’t seen you in three months!”
Jongin rolls his eyes because he’d gone home every single break last year.
“Mom I’ll be fine. I’ll call you everyday….Yes I promise....” he sighs dramatically.
Kyungsoo looks up from his English book with a raised brow. Jongin points to the phone and rolls his eyes which makes his friend smile.
When he hangs up Kyungsoo bounces on to Jongin’s bed with a laptop and points at the screen. The web page shows a few pictures of what looks like a community, all dressed for some kind of party with their faces painted and streamers floating in the air.
“It’s a harvest festival, they throw it every year the week of Thanksgiving. There’s games and stuff, fun houses and face painting. We can go if you want.”
Jongin likes the way Kyungsoo’s eyes sparkle as he talks about the event.
“They have a pie eating contest I never win but always participate in, cuz if you try you get free pie for the rest of the day. You can paint pumpkins and take photos, they have a few local artists perform and stuff. It’s really cool. Me and my family always go every year.”
“Sounds amazing.” Jongin sums up and adores the excited smile Kyungsoo gives him.
___
It’s always great when you meet someone’s parents and realize where they got their character from. Now Jongin understands why his best friend is outspoken, why he wears leather jackets and heavy eyeliner all day and why he has piercings and all of that jazz.
Kyungsoo’s father owns a very small string of popular bars in the city. He has two up near the college that his son goes to and three spread out across the city. He’s a successful businessman who made it his mission in life to become his own boss. He has tattoos up the whazoo, full sleeves and he wears dark washed jeans and black rock band t-shirts all day. If Jongin hadn’t met the man he’d be scared to approach him, just like he’d been with Kyungsoo, but his joyful laugh and habit of ruffling his son’s hair makes him just a big teddy bear who is lovable and kind.
Kyungsoo’s mother is a college professor of art, specifically studio art, painting and sculpting. When Jongin first lays eyes on her she has an array of blues on her hands she tries to wipe off before shaking his hand. She’s full figured and is the sarcastic snake opposite to her husband. She’s a little more reserved overall but still warm in the motherly sense. She cooks all of Kyungsoo’s favorites and makes sure Jongin is comfortable.
They are both so free spirited, outspoken and what his own parents would label as rebels. He loves them instantly and is glad Kyungsoo got to grow up with such joy and comfort.
Kyungsoo has one older brother who looks like he doesn’t belong in the family from first glance. He is all pressed shirts and thick rimmed glasses and sticks to a thick novel all day. But when they’re all sitting in the living room, he fits right in without effort.
Jongin shoves down the jealousy that bubbles through his mind like an infection. He sedates it quietly and does his best to enjoy his time. Though its not hard. Kyungsoo’s family is wonderful and incredibly sweet to him.
The harvest festival is grand and a day full of fun that Jongin knows he will never forget. He accidentally left his own jacket in his dorm room so Kyungsoo’s father lets him borrow one, a thick Dickie’s jacket that smells of tobacco and warmth. Jongin and Kyungsoo hold hands as they go through all of the games and small funhouses set up. They win some tickets here and there, they paint pumpkins and lose terribly to Kyungsoo’s mother when it comes to the painting competition. They get free pie all day because Kyungsoo participates in the pie eating contest and wins 8th. Jongin has never had so much pumpkin, apple, blackberry and peach pie before in his life but its so good and Kyungsoo keeps feeding him so what the hell, he enjoys it all.
In the photo booth Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s face and plants a fat kiss on to his cheek, and Jongin can only smile so brightly his eyes turn in to small half moons.
With their combined tickets the pair wins two goldfish in a tiny bowl, and Jongin names them Jongsoo and Kyungin.
On Thanksgiving day the whole family cooks together. The Do family likes making a traditional-like meal. “American style!” Mrs. Do chirps with excitement. Everyone has their roles to bring the meal together. Mr. Do is in charge of the turkey and mashed potatoes. Mrs. Do bakes mac’n’cheese and cooks the vegetables. The older brother makes delicious stuffing and pops some dinner rolls into the oven.
“What do we do?” Jongin asks as the rest of the family works in the kitchen. Kyungsoo tugs him by the hand to stand next to his brother where baking ingredients and an empty pie tin lay. Jongin already understands and laughs. “You have an obsession, what flavor?”
“Razzleberry pie, my favorite!” Kyungsoo wiggles his eyebrows. There’s small bowls of fresh blackberries, blueberries, raspberries and cranberries. The pair have fun mixing the ingredients together for the crust. They end up eating a good amount of the berries before actually putting them in to the tin and baking them. The pie comes out golden and yummy. Jongin thinks its the best Thanksgiving he’s ever had.
On the last night of their stay Jongin lays in Kyungsoo’s bed with him, they’re cuddled together and laughing about who knows what.
Eventually they stop though. And silence envelops them. Calm, serene silence. Jongin can’t stop looking in to Kyungsoo’s eyes and can’t stop himself from being mesmerized. He leans in first, kissing his best friend softly and timidly. Kyungsoo kisses back ten times stronger, rolling till he lays on top and is able to pull the breath out of Jongin. Their kiss is soft and warm, Jongin can feel the cold metal of Kyungsoo’s lip rings on his tongue,it makes Jongin’s heart beat so fast and he wishes for this moment to stay a little longer than the rest. They keep their lips interlocked until late into the night, clinging to each other with satisfaction and hope for what is to come.
___
“Finally!” Minseok exclaims when the new couple tell Kyungsoo’s roommate that they are dating. “Took you two baboons long enough!”
“Fuck you, you still haven’t asked out that girl in your chemistry class you dipshit!” Kyungsoo sticks out his tongue as Minseok flips him off and wishes them a happy romance before leaving to his next class.
They have one more night before classes start the next day, and they spend it on the pile of pillows in the living room in each other’s arms kissing and pretending to watch some action movie on television.
“I was really scared of you when I first saw you.” Jongin admits. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raise with curiosity. “I thought you’d beat me up if I ever spoke to you. You looked like such a punk and so tough. I thought you’d be really mean.”
“Wow, you little judger. And here I thought you were just some sweet kid.” soft lips kiss Jongin’s cheek, “Cute little bastard.”
When Kyungsoo slides his warm hand in to Jongin’s sweatpants, the shy boy doesn't’ protest. He ruts his hips as he moans in to Kyungsoo’s mouth, holding on to his best friend’s shoulders as he reaches his orgasm. He’s more than willing to return the favor and suck on Kyungsoo’s lip rings as the older comes with a soft moan of Jongin’s name on his breath. More kisses, more passionate and languid kisses that put both of them right to sleep.
___
Jongin has always had to accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life, he has accepted.
Jongin has always accepted the way people treat him, how they pass over him as if he is speck of misplaced paint on a slab of concrete. He is stuck to stay. They see him but do nothing but either step on him or move along.
Kyungsoo comes in to Jongin’s life as if he’s always been there.
Kyungsoo ends up being the person to scrape Jongin right off the concrete. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t warn. He just gets his claws into Jongin and pries him away. It feels effortless, like Kyungsoo didn’t really have to try and like Jongin had been waiting his whole life for a person like this.
Being with Kyungsoo is...perfection...in Jongin’s opinion. He feels like he was made for Kyungsoo. Like they were part of a whole at one point and then accidentally got lost. Kyungsoo is his better half. Kyungsoo is still his best friend, he just gets to steal kisses whenever he feels like it and whisper ‘I love you’ in the early hours of the morning.
Kyungsoo does a lot of things for Jongin.
He sticks up for him and makes sure no one ever steps on Jongin again. He protects him, shields him from douchebags and bastards. He makes him laugh with tickle fights and his outspoken nature. He loves Jongin for all that he is.
He also tries his best to dress the wounds that Jongin already has.
“You should give your brother a chance.” his boyfriend mutters one night. They’re both back from Christmas break. And Jongin had spent a good hour complaining about how awkward his family was, how he and Kai couldn’t be further apart.
“Chance? You mean how he gave me a chance in high school? He bullied me, bossed me around. He’s a dick and I hate him.” Jongin pouts while laying in on the mattress on the floor.
Kyungsoo is sitting on the floor in front of a large mirror applying his eyeliner. They’d planned on going out that night.
“I get that, I do. He was a douche and he fucked up. But it seems to me like he’s your brother and he really cares. It wouldn’t hurt to just chill with him like for a day and see what happens.” the little goth finishes his make up and stands to start picking out his clothes. Jongin had come over in what he planned on wearing out. His dark jeans and a white loose tank top with a gold shimmer design all over it. He’d let his boyfriend apply a bit of smoky eyeliner on him but that was it. Jongn was a simplest at heart.
“He never acted like a brother. What gives him the right to just pretend he cares about me suddenly and try to squeeze his way in to my life?” he glances at himself in the mirror and runs his fingers through his hair as a makeshift brush.
Kyungsoo is suddenly in front of him, straddling him and staring with glitter covered eyes and glosses lips. Jongin will always love the way those black snake bite piercings hug those plush lips. He leans in for a kiss but gets a sharp slap to his head.
“Ow you asswipe!” he hisses.
“I understand that just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean he gets rights to be a part of your life.” Kyungsoo starts and presses a chaste kiss to the forehead he’d just done damage too, “But I also understand that not just anyone beats up an abusive ex-boyfriend, calls you once a day and tries to constantly hang out with you, and is simultaneously pretending to care.” he adds on with a much more gentle tone.
“He cares Jongin, he’s trying to reach out to you. Stop being an ass and just face him. You’re scared, totally understandable. I’m sure he’s scared too, but he has the balls to try.”
Jongin’s eyes pierce, “Are you calling me balless? Are you saying I have no balls?”
Kyungsoo smirks and cups said balls right through Jongin’s jeans and makes him tense, his mouth goes a little dry and the blood is already rushing, “I know you’ve got balls Jongin. It’s one of the prime parts of your physique which I qualify as attractive.”
___
The party is going, its loud and its fun. Jongin does not stop grinding against Kyungsoo the whole night. He enjoys the feeling of his boyfriend’s hands on his hips guiding his ass till they’re both sweating and dry humping each other.
“I want you to fuck me when we get home.” Jongin pants in to Kyungsoo’s ear. He feels his boyfriend’s cock twitch against him and he smirks.
Truthfully they hadn’t had sex yet. It was the longest Jongin had waited before, Kyungsoo as well. It wasn’t that they were afraid or hesitant. But they’d enjoyed taking it slow and letting the tension gradually build between them. Like fruit, Kyungsoo had said once, they were just letting the fruit ripen to perfection. And tonight Jongin wanted to bite in to it and taste the sweet nectar that was Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo links their hands together and the couple heads to where the refreshments are. Jongin is a little more tipsy than his boyfriend and staggers, but he’s caught by comfortable arms who hug him close. He’s handed a water bottle and gladly chugs it down.
The happy couple is in the middle of feeding eachother jello shots when a booming voice they know all too well interrupts them.
“No fucking way!” Chanyeol laughs, crash landing in front of them. He has to grab on to Jongin to regain his balance. The couple glare at him while shuffling away slightly. Jongin obviously scowls and leans close to his boyfriend. Similarly Kyungsoo eye’s throw mental darts at Chanyeol while hugging his puppy tightly. “You two? You two are together?” the drunkard laughs loudly while pointing.
“Yes gorilla, or is that too hard for your brain to comprehend?” Kyungsoo growls. He quickly tucks Jongin behind himself and stands firm against the taller boy. “Leave us alone before I rip your head off and stuff it up your ass!”
Chanyeol doesn’t leave them alone. He swoops in like a vulture, “Miss me Jongin? Too bad you never took me up on my offer before you got with this freak!” his whole body shakes with laughter and it makes Jongin shrink back. Kyungsoo’s back tenses and he slowly turns around with warning eyes.
“What offer?” he questions.
“After Halloween!” Chanyeol provides without being asked, “I kept going by Jongin’s place and offering him the time of his life, he kept ignoring me. But technically he hadn’t denied me, right sweetheart?”
Jongin’s gut hurts at the way Kyungsoo’s eyes go from warning to sad. He’s hurt that this information had been kept from him. He was hurt that Jongin hadn’t told him. It wasn’t a big deal technically, nothing had happened between he and Chanyeol but still. Jongin knew why Kyungsoo was upset, hurt in fact. And he wanted to fix that.
Jongin copies Kyungsoo’s earlier move, tucking his boyfriend behind him to protect. He faces Chanyeol with confidence, for Kyungsoo and himself.
“Fuck off you crippled dog with no skill in bed. You can’t pleasure a penis to save your life. You’re abusive, all you ever do is get drunk and all you ever do is blame people for your own problems. You cheated on me, you apparently fucked up with Kyungsoo. And he’s perfect so I don’t know how you did that.” Jongin starts and enjoys the way Chanyeol shrinks back a bit.
“You broke my heart. You betrayed me like the scum you are. And you know what? I moved on pretty fast surprisingly. It was so easy to forget about you because you suck! You’re terrible! And I’ve been dying to tell you that I’m in love with someone who loves me back, doesn’t treat me like shit but loves me like I’m supposed to be. I’m so in love, and you will forever be that terrible mistake I made my freshman year of college.” he can feel Kyungsoo’s arms around his waist, a small chin tucked on to his shoulder and he feels proud.
“So fuck off, leave us alone. Hope you have a good life that never involves me or Kyungsoo ever again. You fucking gorilla.”
Applause erupts around them. Jongin looks around in surprise and then blushes. The party had caught the tension going on and quite a crowd had gathered to listen to Jongin’s small speech. Chanyeol throws a can of beer he’d been nursing on the ground and storms off, the crowd’s booing follows him. Jongin turns around and finds a heart shaped smile that greets him and warm kisses and hugs. The music is turned back up and people start dancing again.
“We’re talking about this when we get home.” Kyungsoo warns in a low sultry voice that makes Jongin far more excited than he should be.
___
He’s not so excited anymore. In fact he feels like he’s 8 years old and he’s been caught taking the cookie right from the cookie jar. With his legs crossed Jongin is pouting on Kyungsoo’s mattress while the older paces back and forth.
Kyungsoo’s shredded his leather jacket, and his shirt and pants. He’s pacing back and forth in his boxers and tube socks. Jongin whines internally because he can see Kyungsoo cute ass and he knows he’s being scolded but he really wants to bite and kiss those cute little-
“Stop staring at my ass you little shit.” comes the sudden order. Jongin shifts uncomfortably.
“Okay look, I’m not mad at you. Let me make that clear before you go all puppy eyed and beg me not to be mad. I know that you know that gets to me and I’m letting you know now its not going to get me tonight.” Kyungsoo clears while dropping to his knees in front of the sophomore. Fuck if his puppy isn’t the cutest person in existence. But he needs to get this point across. He doesn’t want to be a part of Jongin’s dating history.
“Jongin I love you,” he begins and his heart clenches at the way his puppy has this dreamy look in his eyes suddenly, “But with love comes trust. And with trust comes honesty. I need you to be honest with me at all times. If someone is bugging you, following you around, stalking you I want to know. I need to know. Not to act jealous or flip out on you. I want to know so I can help you, protect you. I don’t have to know every little detail but if something is happening that you think even for a second, I wonder if I should tell Kyungsoo, tell me. If anything so we can just talk about it. You’re my best friend, my boyfriend. I love you. You get that right?” he checks with hope.
Jongin is gnawing on his bottom lip and he nods quickly. “I’m sorry. I’ll definitely tell you everything but…” he pauses, eyebrows scrunching together with a question on the tip of his lips. He’s fucking adorable.
“What Jongin?” he sighs while his hand reaches to lift his puppy’s chin to look at him.
And Jongin smiles so brightly and with such joy, “Did you say you love me?”
Kyungsoo’s heart thumps, “H-have I not said it before?”
“No. Have you been thinking it?”
“For a long time.”
“Me too.” Jongin is still smiling. There was never a more perfect smile than the one that belonged to his puppy, who leans in quickly and connects their lips for a strong kiss. Kyungsoo falls on to the bed and licks in to Jongin’s open mouth.
He’s been head over heels for Jongin for a long time. It didn’t take more than a few weeks after they’d met, the kid was so fucking cute and he was kind hearted. He made Kyungsoo want to be gentle with him, treat him like he was made of glass and tape the words fragile: handle with care all over Jongin’s beautiful body.
Kyungsoo has Jongin bare and panting beneath him no time. He takes his time, its a weekend and there are no classes to worry about tomorrow. He wants to kiss every inch of his Jongin, show him that he wasn’t invisible and that he mattered so much.
His lips start on the soft warm neck, kissing and biting gently to create these little squeaking noises Jongin made at the back of his throat. He nuzzles his nose down each of Jongin’s arms, kissing each knuckle and dipping each finger in to his mouth. When he swirls his tongue over Jongin’s middle finger he hears a broken sigh.
“Soo,” Jongin’s voice sounds weak and wrecked, “Please touch me.”
Kyungsoo complies after flicking Jongin’s soft buds with his thumbs till they’re hard. Figuring out just how sensitive Jongin’s nipples are might be the highlight of his life. A tiny bit of licking and Jongin sounds like he’s going to lose his mind, hips bucking upward as he holds Kyungsoo’s head to his chest.
Jongin tries to touch himself, but stops when Kyungsoo kisses him on the lips and smirks, “Will you turn around for me?” and the younger complies immediately. He wants this so bad, he wants Kyungsoo so bad. How easily he rises to bend over on all fours, sticking his ass out like an offering. This is not acceptance. This is need and want, he wants this just as bad as he needs this.
Kyungsoo’s presence is gone for a moment, opening his closet to pull out a small shoebox. He takes out a large bottle of lube and a condom. A soft kiss to both of Jongin’s ass cheeks before covering his own fingers with the lubricant and slowly pushing one in. When he finally gets three fingers in and Jongin’s rolling his hips back, Kyungsoo finally puts on the condom and pushes in.
Maybe because it’s Kyungsoo, maybe because he’s in love, maybe because Jongin wants this so much. But he can’t call this sex. It feels like so much more. It’s raw and dirty with his moans echoing off the walls and the slick slap of Kyungsoo’s hips against his ass. But it’s also beautiful in every way. Kyungsoo’s bending over him, covering him with his warmth and holding him so tightly. He can hear his own name being moaned out with strings of curses.
He doesn’t have to be touched that much before he feels the pleasure building, blinding him and makes his arms give out from holding himself up. Kyungsoo pulls out and turns him over, settling between his legs. They’re so much closer like this and Jongin desperately reaches for him, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and kissing him sloppy and wet. His ankles cross over his boyfriend’s waist to keep him close as they continue, the erotic sound of slapping skin and the beautiful chorus of moans ringing out.
And Jongin gets to look in to Kyungsoo’s eyes as he comes. He gets to feel that connection, like they’re one person, like they’re finally complete.
Kyungsoo has to quickly pull out when he’s done, tying up the condom and throwing it away before he comes back with tissue to wipe Jongin’s come from his stomach. And then he dives in to the sheets, curls into them with his puppy next to him who kisses him softly.
“Thank you.” Jongin sighs against his chest.
“For what? My cock? It was my pleasure.” Kyungsoo jokes.
“No you idiot.” Jongin chuckles.
“Then for what?”
“For noticing me.”
Kyungsoo’s chest tightens. “Anytime puppy.”
“I love you.”
“I think I might love you too.”
___
Just as Kyungsoo had said, not just anyone called you once a day and tried to hang out. Jongin knows that it’s true. Somewhere deep in his conscious mind he knows that Kai is reaching out, that he’s sorry and that he wasn’t pretending to care. Kai called every day between the hours of 3 and 5 in the afternoon. Jongin was just done with his classes at 3:15 pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Tuesdays and Thursdays it was 3 pm on the dot. So he was always free to take the call.
He’d be walking back to his dorm or he’d just arrived, and then he’d feel his phone vibrate in his jean pocket. Sometimes he didn’t bother looking and just threw the device on to his bed to be ignored. And other times he clicked the red button to hang up before it could ring more than three times.
But some days, like today, Jongin stared at the screen, at the caller ID and his thumb would hover over that green button.
Kai was not pretending to care. But Jongin was pretending like he didn’t.
His phone is still vibrating when Kyungsoo walks into his room, kicking his shoes off and wrapping Jongin in a warm hug. “Hey weirdo. I’m horny.” his boyfriend sighs and makes an effort to shoves his hands down Jongin’s pants.
Jongin is stuck staring at the screen as Kai continues to call. A few more seconds and it will be over. His screen will black out and then light up again to notify him that he’d missed a call.
“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo sounds irritated because Jongin hasn’t noticed the hands openly palming him through his briefs. “Someone calling you?” the little goth has to go on his tiptoes to see over Jongin’s shoulders. When he finally realizes what’s happening he sighs and reaches to snatch the phone out of Jongin’s hands.
“Don’t you dare Kyung-”
“Hello Kai, how are you?” Kyungsoo answers with a smile on his face. Jongin feels his fists clench and mild annoyance getting to him. But there’s a lot of fear.
“No this is not Jongin, sorry this is his boyfriend Kyungsoo….ah no I’m not that asshole you beat up, thank you for doing that by the way….he’s here. He’s just being a scaredy cat….you know I don’t think he wants to sorry….well how about you come over? Me and Jongin were going to have a scary movie night and order pizza. You buy some beer and come over to his room huh?....sure let’s say 10 because Jongin has to shower and stuff first….10 it is see you then!” Kyungsoo chirps. He hangs up the phone and faces a very angry looking Jongin.
“Why did you do that?” Jongin whispers so thinly it worries Kyungsoo. His puppy looks angry, but he can see through it. It’s fear that’s making it hard to speak, to breath, and making him tremble. He wraps Jongin in his arms and rocks them back and forth.
“You’re going to be fine, he’s going to come over and it will be a little awkward, but you will be fine and I will be here.” he assures while peppering Jongin’s face with soft kisses.
His puppy is on the verge of hyperventilating, “You can’t leave me out of nowhere okay? You have to stay the whole time and you have to shower with me right now okay?” Kyungsoo nods at his boyfriend’s request, starting to strip the younger’s body as he speaks. He’s definitely going to shower with Jongin, make them dirty before they get clean.
Thank god Kai shows up around 10:30. Their shower sex had taken longer than anticipated, what with Jongin taking his sweet time sucking Kyungsoo off and then begging his dominant boyfriend to let him top. Jongin is taking advantage of Kyungsoo’s fragile heart for him.
“You love me right?” Jongin sticks out his bottom lip. Kyungsoo bends over and uses the shower wall as leverage, he enjoys his young boyfriend’s slow but deep thrusts.
So it’s 10:30, they ordered the pizza the second they got out of the shower. Kyungsoo borrowed a pair of sweats and t-shirt from Jongin. He also borrowed a brush for his hair. Jongin had selected two scary movies for the night; The Conjuring and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. “Why do you watch such creepy movies?” Kyungsoo cringes at the evil smile Jongin sends him.
A crisp knock on the front door makes the evil grin disappear on Jongin and reappear on Kyungsoo, “He’s here~”
Kai stands there in jeans and a hoodie, twelve pack in tow and nervous twitching lips.
“Oh my god you really are twins.” Is the first thing Kyungsoo blurts out. Kai’s eyebrows fly up in confusion as the small boy leans in, “Did you know my boyfriend has the same face as you? Have you seen him before?”
Kai’s nervous demeanor or cracked and he smiles the tiniest bit, “Yeah I knew that.” he laughs lightly. Kyungsoo grins and tugs the older brother in by the hand. Jongin catches sight of his older brother and freezes up, his hand outstretched to place the DVD in the console to start watching.
“Hey.” Kai greets awkwardly.
“Hi.” Jongin says back.
Awkward. So awkward. Kyungsoo claps his hands together, “So! The pizza is on its way, Kai brought beer and we can start watching some creepy ass movie that Jongin picked out.”
“The Conjuring?” the older twin guesses as he sits down at the very end of the bed. Jongin looks up in surprise.
“How’d you know?”
“You’ve always liked scary movies, when I saw the trailer for it awhile back I knew you’d like it.” Kai shrugs. He rips open the twelve pack of apple cider beer and cracks one open, drinking to ease his tension. Jongin can’t stop the dirty look he gives Kai for semi-knowing his personality. Who did that? Weird. The pizza arrives a few minutes later just as the movie starts and Kyungsoo is quick to hop up and answer the door. Jongin pauses the barely started film and he and Kai sit in silence.
In fact the whole night goes by without any talking between Kai and Jongin. There’s a lot of chit chatting being done by Kyungsoo who asks Kai small talk questions and then turns to Jongin to inform him on what his twin had said. In fact Jongin starts to act like the biggest brat known to man by not answering Kyungsoo and giving him small sounds for answers like ‘mm’ ‘mhm’ and it starts to get under his skin. With a huff Kyungsoo gets up in the middle of the movie and pulls a whiny Jongin out by the ear.
“But it’s my favorite part!” Jongi cries as he’s dragged into the hallway. He looks down at his pissed off boyfriend and feels himself shrink a little.
“If you don’t start talking I will lock you both in that room, be nice!” is the only warning Kyungsoo gives before storming back inside. Jongin stands there shocked and a little scared. His boyfriend was shorter but damn it all if he didn’t look both scary and sexy when he was pissed off. He sighs and goes back in.
He peeks inside his room and finds that Kai had paused the movie for him and is talking quietly with Kyungsoo. Jongin hides and listens for a moment.
“So it’s true then, all the things you did to Jongin in high school?” his boyfriend asks.
“Yeah,” Kai’s shoulders slump, “Unfortunately.”
“You were young, influenced by people around you I’m sure.” Kyungsoo offers like the saint he is. Jongin loves him.
“No there’s no excuse. I hurt him, I pushed him away both at school and home. He went through a lot and I wish I’d been there for him.” Kai’s eyes are glazed over as he thinks about the past. “You know its crazy how you realize things when its too late…”
“Like what?” Kyungsoo questions after a beat of silence. And Kai has a fond smile on his face.
“I just keep replaying our childhood together and I realize how much...how much Jongin liked me at first. He always followed me everywhere and he let me have the better toys and stuff. If I wanted chocolate he’d go and get it, if I fell he’d help me up. Up until high school we were inseparable because he always followed me around. And even our freshman year he’d wait for me so we could walk home together. But I was just so…” Jongin spots the moisture building in Kai’s eyes and he feels a small tug at his heart.
“So what?” Kyungsoo’s voice is soft and he has an arm around the older twin. Jongin remembers when his boyfriend had eased him into his own emotions.
“I was so jealous of him.” Kai sighs.
What?
Jongin barges in suddenly. Both his brother and his boyfriend jump at his sudden presence with wide eyes. Jongin glares at his brother because he is beyond annoyed and confused.
“What the hell do you mean you were jealous?!” he yells.
“Jongin just sit down, calm down.” Kyungsoo stands in front of him, small hands on his chest. But Jongin is not listening.
“What the hell were you jealous about? About how everyone bullied me? How they shoved me down in the hallways and laughed? You were jealous that you got everyone’s attention and I got shit?”
Kais stands up as well, fire in his eyes. “Mom knew you were gay since you were little Jongin. She knew and only recently she told me this. So yeah it wasn’t until a little awhile ago that I was able to understand-”
“Understand what?!”
“Why she always paid more attention to you than me!” Kai screams. Jongin’s head shakes. He awestruck for a moment and he scoffs in disbelief.
“She gave you everything you wanted! She always gave you the bike you wanted she made the food you wanted she did everything for you!” Jongin shoots back.
“You obviously don’t remember our childhood differently.” Kai stars, gently removing Kyungsoo from between them. They’re finally facing each other. Jongin has the urge to run.
“Yeah she gave me the bike but it was you she spent hours teaching how to ride it, it was you she sat next to at every meal and fed and kissed and hugged.” Kai’s voice breaks for a moment. He’s overwhelmed but he keeps going.
“She knew you were different and wanted to show you how much she loved you. That’s all I ever saw, her love for you. So yeah I threw a lot of fits and I tried to get her attention. And it would only last for a second, because in you would walk quiet as a mouse and she’d flail over you.” Kai throws his arms up. And slowly the memories start coming back. Jongin is recalling it all. Oh no.
“Think about it, who does she call all the time? It’s not me. Who did she whine about all of Thanksgiving break? You! I couldn’t understand why she did it all my life,” Kai is crying full on now, breathing deeply and quickly wiping his tears,
“And when you came out I was mad because it was just another reason for her to focus on you and forget about me. I wanted attention and the people in high school gave it me. You had mom and dad. I didn’t understand how much I’d hurt you, how my actions had affected you I thought you had mom’s affection so what else did you need?” the memories are coming back. Jongin can see them. He can see his little self always being picked up and coddled, that after he’d been given the blue scooter how much time his mother had spend clapping as he pushed around in it.
“And she apologized to me after I….after I tried to kill myself.” Kai’s voice drops. In the background Jongin hears Kyungsoo gasp. Jongin’s whole world darkens. He can see it all. The cruel miscommunication that had been Kai and Jongin’s lives. He can remember every time they went school shopping how she’d hastily get all of the things Kai wanted, but then spend the rest of her time helping Jongin pack his bag up, laughing and kissing him endlessly.
“It was during our first semester. When you were dating that druggy guy. I just felt numb. Mom would call me and ask about you. Mom would send care packages and write us both letters but mine would be about taking care of you. Couldn’t it be me for once that she worried about? I felt so alone, and you didn’t want anything to do with me and it felt like my own mother didn’t need me either. So I tried to….I tried to hang myself.” Kai had slowly sat back down on the bed while he talked. Tears streaking his face and Jongin has never seen his brother look so small before.
“It was the first time she’d come to see me, and only me. I was so happy. She apologized to me and she held me for so long. Mom told me that she’d always known you were different. And when you got a little older she somehow knew you were gay. And she didn’t want you to ever doubt that she loved you. That’s why she’d always given you a little more attention than me, and I realized how much I’d misunderstood.”
Kai looks in to his eyes. Jongin swallows. He’d never known all of this. He’d never known his twin had gone through such a dark trial, that he’d tried to end it all.
“I’m sorry Jongin. I’m sorry. I’ll keep apologizing if that’s what you want. I’ll never bother you again if you want that too. I love you, you’re my brother. I fucking love you to pieces and I’m so sorry what I did. I’m so so so sorry.”
Jongin wipes away his own tears before reaching down and collecting Kai in a tight hug.
___
One Year Later…
Jongin used to be the kind of person that accepted things too easily into his life. He was a pushover, someone who let others take advantage of him and stayed silent about all of the abuse that was given to him.
He learned later that it wasn’t bad to be nice, but it wasn’t bad to stick up for yourself either.
He also learned that sometimes one chance can go a long way.
That sometimes the one you love is not what you expected, they are so much more.
That sometimes a misunderstanding can have a large ripple effect, but a little communication can fix all of that.
“Come on, we’re going to be late!” Jongin huffs. Kyungsoo glares at him in the reflection of his floor length mirror and does not speed up his eye make up process. What a diva. “I’ll let you put drag make up on me and whatever sparkly speedo you want when we come back.” he offers with hope.
The most evil filled grin grows on Kyungsoo’s face, “Is that a promise?”
Jongin knows he’s going to regret this, “I promise.”
Kyungsoo hops up from his spot on the floor, “Well I was done anyways!” he giggles and runs over to his taller boyfriend, combing his hair to the side meticulously till he thinks it looks better. “I’m not used to it yet.” he pouts.
Jongin had bleached his hair in a spur of the moment a few weekends ago. He’d scared the shit out of Kyungsoo and made his brother almost shit his pants. He looked completely different but loved it. Kyungsoo had been inspired and turned his hair from black to a bright red. Jongin adored it.
They arrive a little late to the bar. Jongin is crushed in a bear hug by Mr. and Mrs. Do. Then comes his own mother’s teary kisses and his father’s pat on the back. The place is decorated with red and silver streamers. Their family and friends are already chatting it up with pints of beer on each table. Jongin spots Minseok seated with a cute girl who somehow resembles a baby deer…
“What the hell took you guys so long?” Kai complains but is smiling. The twins hug easily, Kai ruffles his little brother’s hair and almost gets a slap to the face.
“Diva wanted to make sure his eyeliner was perfect.” Jongin explains.
“And it does! Kai tell him my eyeliner is perfect.” Kyungsoo pouts. And of course Kai obliges.
“Kyungsoo you’re just perfect all around, how did I get so lucky to have a brother-in-law like you?” Kyungsoo giggles and plants a sweet kiss on the older’s cheek. A small face pops out behind Kai’s shoulders. She’s petite and pale, long wavy black hair falling over her shoulders.
Jongin pounces on her, “Kyungmi! How are you?”
His brother’s girlfriend is a doll. She’s calm overall and sweet like sugar, she also has no problem scolding Kai when he’s being sour. Jongin thinks she’s the best.
Everyone sits down as the cake’s brought out. It’s a three tier. The bottom is silver, the middle is blue and the top is red. You’d think they were celebrating the 4th of July. But no.
“Happy Birthday puppy.” Kyungsoo whispers in his ear. Jongin smiles and kisses him sweetly. The crowd sings the birthday song, and the twins blow out their candles to make a wish. When Kai jumps and tries to claim the top tier Jongin whines in protest.
“Red is my favorite color! Don’t you dare!” he smacks his brother’s hand away. Kai is shocked and puffs out his chest.
With perfect teamwork Kyungmi holds out a two plates while Kyungsoo cuts the red top tier in half so both of the boys get a piece. The twins happily munch on their cake while side eyeing each other. They both loved the color red, horror movies, and beer. It was a twin thing.
Jongin used to always accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life. But now as he looks around….his happy twin brother, his parents, his friends and his Kyungsoo.
He wants everything in his life right now. He wants it all. He will always want this.
“Thank you for noticing me.” he says against Kyungsoo’s lips.
“Anytime you cute bastard.”
End.
One-Shot Part 2
Pairing: KaiSoo, ChanKai, KrisKai, BaekYeol and XiuHan if you blink really hard.
Rating: mmmmm R I guess.
Summary: Jongin has always had to accept things. Just things in general.
___________________________________________________________________
Instead of going home for Thanksgiving, Jongin spends the week at Kyungsoo’s. He’s surprised when his friend offers shyly. Of course he accepts and he’s beyond excited. Kyungsoo lives deep in the city, in an urban area where there is no peace at night or day.
Jongin calls his mother the week before break to tell her the news and she sounds devastated. “But I was going to make you kimchi fried rice! And fried egg! Jongin! You can’t just say that out of nowhere and expect me take it well I haven’t seen you in three months!”
Jongin rolls his eyes because he’d gone home every single break last year.
“Mom I’ll be fine. I’ll call you everyday….Yes I promise....” he sighs dramatically.
Kyungsoo looks up from his English book with a raised brow. Jongin points to the phone and rolls his eyes which makes his friend smile.
When he hangs up Kyungsoo bounces on to Jongin’s bed with a laptop and points at the screen. The web page shows a few pictures of what looks like a community, all dressed for some kind of party with their faces painted and streamers floating in the air.
“It’s a harvest festival, they throw it every year the week of Thanksgiving. There’s games and stuff, fun houses and face painting. We can go if you want.”
Jongin likes the way Kyungsoo’s eyes sparkle as he talks about the event.
“They have a pie eating contest I never win but always participate in, cuz if you try you get free pie for the rest of the day. You can paint pumpkins and take photos, they have a few local artists perform and stuff. It’s really cool. Me and my family always go every year.”
“Sounds amazing.” Jongin sums up and adores the excited smile Kyungsoo gives him.
___
It’s always great when you meet someone’s parents and realize where they got their character from. Now Jongin understands why his best friend is outspoken, why he wears leather jackets and heavy eyeliner all day and why he has piercings and all of that jazz.
Kyungsoo’s father owns a very small string of popular bars in the city. He has two up near the college that his son goes to and three spread out across the city. He’s a successful businessman who made it his mission in life to become his own boss. He has tattoos up the whazoo, full sleeves and he wears dark washed jeans and black rock band t-shirts all day. If Jongin hadn’t met the man he’d be scared to approach him, just like he’d been with Kyungsoo, but his joyful laugh and habit of ruffling his son’s hair makes him just a big teddy bear who is lovable and kind.
Kyungsoo’s mother is a college professor of art, specifically studio art, painting and sculpting. When Jongin first lays eyes on her she has an array of blues on her hands she tries to wipe off before shaking his hand. She’s full figured and is the sarcastic snake opposite to her husband. She’s a little more reserved overall but still warm in the motherly sense. She cooks all of Kyungsoo’s favorites and makes sure Jongin is comfortable.
They are both so free spirited, outspoken and what his own parents would label as rebels. He loves them instantly and is glad Kyungsoo got to grow up with such joy and comfort.
Kyungsoo has one older brother who looks like he doesn’t belong in the family from first glance. He is all pressed shirts and thick rimmed glasses and sticks to a thick novel all day. But when they’re all sitting in the living room, he fits right in without effort.
Jongin shoves down the jealousy that bubbles through his mind like an infection. He sedates it quietly and does his best to enjoy his time. Though its not hard. Kyungsoo’s family is wonderful and incredibly sweet to him.
The harvest festival is grand and a day full of fun that Jongin knows he will never forget. He accidentally left his own jacket in his dorm room so Kyungsoo’s father lets him borrow one, a thick Dickie’s jacket that smells of tobacco and warmth. Jongin and Kyungsoo hold hands as they go through all of the games and small funhouses set up. They win some tickets here and there, they paint pumpkins and lose terribly to Kyungsoo’s mother when it comes to the painting competition. They get free pie all day because Kyungsoo participates in the pie eating contest and wins 8th. Jongin has never had so much pumpkin, apple, blackberry and peach pie before in his life but its so good and Kyungsoo keeps feeding him so what the hell, he enjoys it all.
In the photo booth Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s face and plants a fat kiss on to his cheek, and Jongin can only smile so brightly his eyes turn in to small half moons.
With their combined tickets the pair wins two goldfish in a tiny bowl, and Jongin names them Jongsoo and Kyungin.
On Thanksgiving day the whole family cooks together. The Do family likes making a traditional-like meal. “American style!” Mrs. Do chirps with excitement. Everyone has their roles to bring the meal together. Mr. Do is in charge of the turkey and mashed potatoes. Mrs. Do bakes mac’n’cheese and cooks the vegetables. The older brother makes delicious stuffing and pops some dinner rolls into the oven.
“What do we do?” Jongin asks as the rest of the family works in the kitchen. Kyungsoo tugs him by the hand to stand next to his brother where baking ingredients and an empty pie tin lay. Jongin already understands and laughs. “You have an obsession, what flavor?”
“Razzleberry pie, my favorite!” Kyungsoo wiggles his eyebrows. There’s small bowls of fresh blackberries, blueberries, raspberries and cranberries. The pair have fun mixing the ingredients together for the crust. They end up eating a good amount of the berries before actually putting them in to the tin and baking them. The pie comes out golden and yummy. Jongin thinks its the best Thanksgiving he’s ever had.
On the last night of their stay Jongin lays in Kyungsoo’s bed with him, they’re cuddled together and laughing about who knows what.
Eventually they stop though. And silence envelops them. Calm, serene silence. Jongin can’t stop looking in to Kyungsoo’s eyes and can’t stop himself from being mesmerized. He leans in first, kissing his best friend softly and timidly. Kyungsoo kisses back ten times stronger, rolling till he lays on top and is able to pull the breath out of Jongin. Their kiss is soft and warm, Jongin can feel the cold metal of Kyungsoo’s lip rings on his tongue,it makes Jongin’s heart beat so fast and he wishes for this moment to stay a little longer than the rest. They keep their lips interlocked until late into the night, clinging to each other with satisfaction and hope for what is to come.
___
“Finally!” Minseok exclaims when the new couple tell Kyungsoo’s roommate that they are dating. “Took you two baboons long enough!”
“Fuck you, you still haven’t asked out that girl in your chemistry class you dipshit!” Kyungsoo sticks out his tongue as Minseok flips him off and wishes them a happy romance before leaving to his next class.
They have one more night before classes start the next day, and they spend it on the pile of pillows in the living room in each other’s arms kissing and pretending to watch some action movie on television.
“I was really scared of you when I first saw you.” Jongin admits. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raise with curiosity. “I thought you’d beat me up if I ever spoke to you. You looked like such a punk and so tough. I thought you’d be really mean.”
“Wow, you little judger. And here I thought you were just some sweet kid.” soft lips kiss Jongin’s cheek, “Cute little bastard.”
When Kyungsoo slides his warm hand in to Jongin’s sweatpants, the shy boy doesn't’ protest. He ruts his hips as he moans in to Kyungsoo’s mouth, holding on to his best friend’s shoulders as he reaches his orgasm. He’s more than willing to return the favor and suck on Kyungsoo’s lip rings as the older comes with a soft moan of Jongin’s name on his breath. More kisses, more passionate and languid kisses that put both of them right to sleep.
___
Jongin has always had to accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life, he has accepted.
Jongin has always accepted the way people treat him, how they pass over him as if he is speck of misplaced paint on a slab of concrete. He is stuck to stay. They see him but do nothing but either step on him or move along.
Kyungsoo comes in to Jongin’s life as if he’s always been there.
Kyungsoo ends up being the person to scrape Jongin right off the concrete. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t warn. He just gets his claws into Jongin and pries him away. It feels effortless, like Kyungsoo didn’t really have to try and like Jongin had been waiting his whole life for a person like this.
Being with Kyungsoo is...perfection...in Jongin’s opinion. He feels like he was made for Kyungsoo. Like they were part of a whole at one point and then accidentally got lost. Kyungsoo is his better half. Kyungsoo is still his best friend, he just gets to steal kisses whenever he feels like it and whisper ‘I love you’ in the early hours of the morning.
Kyungsoo does a lot of things for Jongin.
He sticks up for him and makes sure no one ever steps on Jongin again. He protects him, shields him from douchebags and bastards. He makes him laugh with tickle fights and his outspoken nature. He loves Jongin for all that he is.
He also tries his best to dress the wounds that Jongin already has.
“You should give your brother a chance.” his boyfriend mutters one night. They’re both back from Christmas break. And Jongin had spent a good hour complaining about how awkward his family was, how he and Kai couldn’t be further apart.
“Chance? You mean how he gave me a chance in high school? He bullied me, bossed me around. He’s a dick and I hate him.” Jongin pouts while laying in on the mattress on the floor.
Kyungsoo is sitting on the floor in front of a large mirror applying his eyeliner. They’d planned on going out that night.
“I get that, I do. He was a douche and he fucked up. But it seems to me like he’s your brother and he really cares. It wouldn’t hurt to just chill with him like for a day and see what happens.” the little goth finishes his make up and stands to start picking out his clothes. Jongin had come over in what he planned on wearing out. His dark jeans and a white loose tank top with a gold shimmer design all over it. He’d let his boyfriend apply a bit of smoky eyeliner on him but that was it. Jongn was a simplest at heart.
“He never acted like a brother. What gives him the right to just pretend he cares about me suddenly and try to squeeze his way in to my life?” he glances at himself in the mirror and runs his fingers through his hair as a makeshift brush.
Kyungsoo is suddenly in front of him, straddling him and staring with glitter covered eyes and glosses lips. Jongin will always love the way those black snake bite piercings hug those plush lips. He leans in for a kiss but gets a sharp slap to his head.
“Ow you asswipe!” he hisses.
“I understand that just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean he gets rights to be a part of your life.” Kyungsoo starts and presses a chaste kiss to the forehead he’d just done damage too, “But I also understand that not just anyone beats up an abusive ex-boyfriend, calls you once a day and tries to constantly hang out with you, and is simultaneously pretending to care.” he adds on with a much more gentle tone.
“He cares Jongin, he’s trying to reach out to you. Stop being an ass and just face him. You’re scared, totally understandable. I’m sure he’s scared too, but he has the balls to try.”
Jongin’s eyes pierce, “Are you calling me balless? Are you saying I have no balls?”
Kyungsoo smirks and cups said balls right through Jongin’s jeans and makes him tense, his mouth goes a little dry and the blood is already rushing, “I know you’ve got balls Jongin. It’s one of the prime parts of your physique which I qualify as attractive.”
___
The party is going, its loud and its fun. Jongin does not stop grinding against Kyungsoo the whole night. He enjoys the feeling of his boyfriend’s hands on his hips guiding his ass till they’re both sweating and dry humping each other.
“I want you to fuck me when we get home.” Jongin pants in to Kyungsoo’s ear. He feels his boyfriend’s cock twitch against him and he smirks.
Truthfully they hadn’t had sex yet. It was the longest Jongin had waited before, Kyungsoo as well. It wasn’t that they were afraid or hesitant. But they’d enjoyed taking it slow and letting the tension gradually build between them. Like fruit, Kyungsoo had said once, they were just letting the fruit ripen to perfection. And tonight Jongin wanted to bite in to it and taste the sweet nectar that was Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo links their hands together and the couple heads to where the refreshments are. Jongin is a little more tipsy than his boyfriend and staggers, but he’s caught by comfortable arms who hug him close. He’s handed a water bottle and gladly chugs it down.
The happy couple is in the middle of feeding eachother jello shots when a booming voice they know all too well interrupts them.
“No fucking way!” Chanyeol laughs, crash landing in front of them. He has to grab on to Jongin to regain his balance. The couple glare at him while shuffling away slightly. Jongin obviously scowls and leans close to his boyfriend. Similarly Kyungsoo eye’s throw mental darts at Chanyeol while hugging his puppy tightly. “You two? You two are together?” the drunkard laughs loudly while pointing.
“Yes gorilla, or is that too hard for your brain to comprehend?” Kyungsoo growls. He quickly tucks Jongin behind himself and stands firm against the taller boy. “Leave us alone before I rip your head off and stuff it up your ass!”
Chanyeol doesn’t leave them alone. He swoops in like a vulture, “Miss me Jongin? Too bad you never took me up on my offer before you got with this freak!” his whole body shakes with laughter and it makes Jongin shrink back. Kyungsoo’s back tenses and he slowly turns around with warning eyes.
“What offer?” he questions.
“After Halloween!” Chanyeol provides without being asked, “I kept going by Jongin’s place and offering him the time of his life, he kept ignoring me. But technically he hadn’t denied me, right sweetheart?”
Jongin’s gut hurts at the way Kyungsoo’s eyes go from warning to sad. He’s hurt that this information had been kept from him. He was hurt that Jongin hadn’t told him. It wasn’t a big deal technically, nothing had happened between he and Chanyeol but still. Jongin knew why Kyungsoo was upset, hurt in fact. And he wanted to fix that.
Jongin copies Kyungsoo’s earlier move, tucking his boyfriend behind him to protect. He faces Chanyeol with confidence, for Kyungsoo and himself.
“Fuck off you crippled dog with no skill in bed. You can’t pleasure a penis to save your life. You’re abusive, all you ever do is get drunk and all you ever do is blame people for your own problems. You cheated on me, you apparently fucked up with Kyungsoo. And he’s perfect so I don’t know how you did that.” Jongin starts and enjoys the way Chanyeol shrinks back a bit.
“You broke my heart. You betrayed me like the scum you are. And you know what? I moved on pretty fast surprisingly. It was so easy to forget about you because you suck! You’re terrible! And I’ve been dying to tell you that I’m in love with someone who loves me back, doesn’t treat me like shit but loves me like I’m supposed to be. I’m so in love, and you will forever be that terrible mistake I made my freshman year of college.” he can feel Kyungsoo’s arms around his waist, a small chin tucked on to his shoulder and he feels proud.
“So fuck off, leave us alone. Hope you have a good life that never involves me or Kyungsoo ever again. You fucking gorilla.”
Applause erupts around them. Jongin looks around in surprise and then blushes. The party had caught the tension going on and quite a crowd had gathered to listen to Jongin’s small speech. Chanyeol throws a can of beer he’d been nursing on the ground and storms off, the crowd’s booing follows him. Jongin turns around and finds a heart shaped smile that greets him and warm kisses and hugs. The music is turned back up and people start dancing again.
“We’re talking about this when we get home.” Kyungsoo warns in a low sultry voice that makes Jongin far more excited than he should be.
___
He’s not so excited anymore. In fact he feels like he’s 8 years old and he’s been caught taking the cookie right from the cookie jar. With his legs crossed Jongin is pouting on Kyungsoo’s mattress while the older paces back and forth.
Kyungsoo’s shredded his leather jacket, and his shirt and pants. He’s pacing back and forth in his boxers and tube socks. Jongin whines internally because he can see Kyungsoo cute ass and he knows he’s being scolded but he really wants to bite and kiss those cute little-
“Stop staring at my ass you little shit.” comes the sudden order. Jongin shifts uncomfortably.
“Okay look, I’m not mad at you. Let me make that clear before you go all puppy eyed and beg me not to be mad. I know that you know that gets to me and I’m letting you know now its not going to get me tonight.” Kyungsoo clears while dropping to his knees in front of the sophomore. Fuck if his puppy isn’t the cutest person in existence. But he needs to get this point across. He doesn’t want to be a part of Jongin’s dating history.
“Jongin I love you,” he begins and his heart clenches at the way his puppy has this dreamy look in his eyes suddenly, “But with love comes trust. And with trust comes honesty. I need you to be honest with me at all times. If someone is bugging you, following you around, stalking you I want to know. I need to know. Not to act jealous or flip out on you. I want to know so I can help you, protect you. I don’t have to know every little detail but if something is happening that you think even for a second, I wonder if I should tell Kyungsoo, tell me. If anything so we can just talk about it. You’re my best friend, my boyfriend. I love you. You get that right?” he checks with hope.
Jongin is gnawing on his bottom lip and he nods quickly. “I’m sorry. I’ll definitely tell you everything but…” he pauses, eyebrows scrunching together with a question on the tip of his lips. He’s fucking adorable.
“What Jongin?” he sighs while his hand reaches to lift his puppy’s chin to look at him.
And Jongin smiles so brightly and with such joy, “Did you say you love me?”
Kyungsoo’s heart thumps, “H-have I not said it before?”
“No. Have you been thinking it?”
“For a long time.”
“Me too.” Jongin is still smiling. There was never a more perfect smile than the one that belonged to his puppy, who leans in quickly and connects their lips for a strong kiss. Kyungsoo falls on to the bed and licks in to Jongin’s open mouth.
He’s been head over heels for Jongin for a long time. It didn’t take more than a few weeks after they’d met, the kid was so fucking cute and he was kind hearted. He made Kyungsoo want to be gentle with him, treat him like he was made of glass and tape the words fragile: handle with care all over Jongin’s beautiful body.
Kyungsoo has Jongin bare and panting beneath him no time. He takes his time, its a weekend and there are no classes to worry about tomorrow. He wants to kiss every inch of his Jongin, show him that he wasn’t invisible and that he mattered so much.
His lips start on the soft warm neck, kissing and biting gently to create these little squeaking noises Jongin made at the back of his throat. He nuzzles his nose down each of Jongin’s arms, kissing each knuckle and dipping each finger in to his mouth. When he swirls his tongue over Jongin’s middle finger he hears a broken sigh.
“Soo,” Jongin’s voice sounds weak and wrecked, “Please touch me.”
Kyungsoo complies after flicking Jongin’s soft buds with his thumbs till they’re hard. Figuring out just how sensitive Jongin’s nipples are might be the highlight of his life. A tiny bit of licking and Jongin sounds like he’s going to lose his mind, hips bucking upward as he holds Kyungsoo’s head to his chest.
Jongin tries to touch himself, but stops when Kyungsoo kisses him on the lips and smirks, “Will you turn around for me?” and the younger complies immediately. He wants this so bad, he wants Kyungsoo so bad. How easily he rises to bend over on all fours, sticking his ass out like an offering. This is not acceptance. This is need and want, he wants this just as bad as he needs this.
Kyungsoo’s presence is gone for a moment, opening his closet to pull out a small shoebox. He takes out a large bottle of lube and a condom. A soft kiss to both of Jongin’s ass cheeks before covering his own fingers with the lubricant and slowly pushing one in. When he finally gets three fingers in and Jongin’s rolling his hips back, Kyungsoo finally puts on the condom and pushes in.
Maybe because it’s Kyungsoo, maybe because he’s in love, maybe because Jongin wants this so much. But he can’t call this sex. It feels like so much more. It’s raw and dirty with his moans echoing off the walls and the slick slap of Kyungsoo’s hips against his ass. But it’s also beautiful in every way. Kyungsoo’s bending over him, covering him with his warmth and holding him so tightly. He can hear his own name being moaned out with strings of curses.
He doesn’t have to be touched that much before he feels the pleasure building, blinding him and makes his arms give out from holding himself up. Kyungsoo pulls out and turns him over, settling between his legs. They’re so much closer like this and Jongin desperately reaches for him, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and kissing him sloppy and wet. His ankles cross over his boyfriend’s waist to keep him close as they continue, the erotic sound of slapping skin and the beautiful chorus of moans ringing out.
And Jongin gets to look in to Kyungsoo’s eyes as he comes. He gets to feel that connection, like they’re one person, like they’re finally complete.
Kyungsoo has to quickly pull out when he’s done, tying up the condom and throwing it away before he comes back with tissue to wipe Jongin’s come from his stomach. And then he dives in to the sheets, curls into them with his puppy next to him who kisses him softly.
“Thank you.” Jongin sighs against his chest.
“For what? My cock? It was my pleasure.” Kyungsoo jokes.
“No you idiot.” Jongin chuckles.
“Then for what?”
“For noticing me.”
Kyungsoo’s chest tightens. “Anytime puppy.”
“I love you.”
“I think I might love you too.”
___
Just as Kyungsoo had said, not just anyone called you once a day and tried to hang out. Jongin knows that it’s true. Somewhere deep in his conscious mind he knows that Kai is reaching out, that he’s sorry and that he wasn’t pretending to care. Kai called every day between the hours of 3 and 5 in the afternoon. Jongin was just done with his classes at 3:15 pm on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Tuesdays and Thursdays it was 3 pm on the dot. So he was always free to take the call.
He’d be walking back to his dorm or he’d just arrived, and then he’d feel his phone vibrate in his jean pocket. Sometimes he didn’t bother looking and just threw the device on to his bed to be ignored. And other times he clicked the red button to hang up before it could ring more than three times.
But some days, like today, Jongin stared at the screen, at the caller ID and his thumb would hover over that green button.
Kai was not pretending to care. But Jongin was pretending like he didn’t.
His phone is still vibrating when Kyungsoo walks into his room, kicking his shoes off and wrapping Jongin in a warm hug. “Hey weirdo. I’m horny.” his boyfriend sighs and makes an effort to shoves his hands down Jongin’s pants.
Jongin is stuck staring at the screen as Kai continues to call. A few more seconds and it will be over. His screen will black out and then light up again to notify him that he’d missed a call.
“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo sounds irritated because Jongin hasn’t noticed the hands openly palming him through his briefs. “Someone calling you?” the little goth has to go on his tiptoes to see over Jongin’s shoulders. When he finally realizes what’s happening he sighs and reaches to snatch the phone out of Jongin’s hands.
“Don’t you dare Kyung-”
“Hello Kai, how are you?” Kyungsoo answers with a smile on his face. Jongin feels his fists clench and mild annoyance getting to him. But there’s a lot of fear.
“No this is not Jongin, sorry this is his boyfriend Kyungsoo….ah no I’m not that asshole you beat up, thank you for doing that by the way….he’s here. He’s just being a scaredy cat….you know I don’t think he wants to sorry….well how about you come over? Me and Jongin were going to have a scary movie night and order pizza. You buy some beer and come over to his room huh?....sure let’s say 10 because Jongin has to shower and stuff first….10 it is see you then!” Kyungsoo chirps. He hangs up the phone and faces a very angry looking Jongin.
“Why did you do that?” Jongin whispers so thinly it worries Kyungsoo. His puppy looks angry, but he can see through it. It’s fear that’s making it hard to speak, to breath, and making him tremble. He wraps Jongin in his arms and rocks them back and forth.
“You’re going to be fine, he’s going to come over and it will be a little awkward, but you will be fine and I will be here.” he assures while peppering Jongin’s face with soft kisses.
His puppy is on the verge of hyperventilating, “You can’t leave me out of nowhere okay? You have to stay the whole time and you have to shower with me right now okay?” Kyungsoo nods at his boyfriend’s request, starting to strip the younger’s body as he speaks. He’s definitely going to shower with Jongin, make them dirty before they get clean.
Thank god Kai shows up around 10:30. Their shower sex had taken longer than anticipated, what with Jongin taking his sweet time sucking Kyungsoo off and then begging his dominant boyfriend to let him top. Jongin is taking advantage of Kyungsoo’s fragile heart for him.
“You love me right?” Jongin sticks out his bottom lip. Kyungsoo bends over and uses the shower wall as leverage, he enjoys his young boyfriend’s slow but deep thrusts.
So it’s 10:30, they ordered the pizza the second they got out of the shower. Kyungsoo borrowed a pair of sweats and t-shirt from Jongin. He also borrowed a brush for his hair. Jongin had selected two scary movies for the night; The Conjuring and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. “Why do you watch such creepy movies?” Kyungsoo cringes at the evil smile Jongin sends him.
A crisp knock on the front door makes the evil grin disappear on Jongin and reappear on Kyungsoo, “He’s here~”
Kai stands there in jeans and a hoodie, twelve pack in tow and nervous twitching lips.
“Oh my god you really are twins.” Is the first thing Kyungsoo blurts out. Kai’s eyebrows fly up in confusion as the small boy leans in, “Did you know my boyfriend has the same face as you? Have you seen him before?”
Kai’s nervous demeanor or cracked and he smiles the tiniest bit, “Yeah I knew that.” he laughs lightly. Kyungsoo grins and tugs the older brother in by the hand. Jongin catches sight of his older brother and freezes up, his hand outstretched to place the DVD in the console to start watching.
“Hey.” Kai greets awkwardly.
“Hi.” Jongin says back.
Awkward. So awkward. Kyungsoo claps his hands together, “So! The pizza is on its way, Kai brought beer and we can start watching some creepy ass movie that Jongin picked out.”
“The Conjuring?” the older twin guesses as he sits down at the very end of the bed. Jongin looks up in surprise.
“How’d you know?”
“You’ve always liked scary movies, when I saw the trailer for it awhile back I knew you’d like it.” Kai shrugs. He rips open the twelve pack of apple cider beer and cracks one open, drinking to ease his tension. Jongin can’t stop the dirty look he gives Kai for semi-knowing his personality. Who did that? Weird. The pizza arrives a few minutes later just as the movie starts and Kyungsoo is quick to hop up and answer the door. Jongin pauses the barely started film and he and Kai sit in silence.
In fact the whole night goes by without any talking between Kai and Jongin. There’s a lot of chit chatting being done by Kyungsoo who asks Kai small talk questions and then turns to Jongin to inform him on what his twin had said. In fact Jongin starts to act like the biggest brat known to man by not answering Kyungsoo and giving him small sounds for answers like ‘mm’ ‘mhm’ and it starts to get under his skin. With a huff Kyungsoo gets up in the middle of the movie and pulls a whiny Jongin out by the ear.
“But it’s my favorite part!” Jongi cries as he’s dragged into the hallway. He looks down at his pissed off boyfriend and feels himself shrink a little.
“If you don’t start talking I will lock you both in that room, be nice!” is the only warning Kyungsoo gives before storming back inside. Jongin stands there shocked and a little scared. His boyfriend was shorter but damn it all if he didn’t look both scary and sexy when he was pissed off. He sighs and goes back in.
He peeks inside his room and finds that Kai had paused the movie for him and is talking quietly with Kyungsoo. Jongin hides and listens for a moment.
“So it’s true then, all the things you did to Jongin in high school?” his boyfriend asks.
“Yeah,” Kai’s shoulders slump, “Unfortunately.”
“You were young, influenced by people around you I’m sure.” Kyungsoo offers like the saint he is. Jongin loves him.
“No there’s no excuse. I hurt him, I pushed him away both at school and home. He went through a lot and I wish I’d been there for him.” Kai’s eyes are glazed over as he thinks about the past. “You know its crazy how you realize things when its too late…”
“Like what?” Kyungsoo questions after a beat of silence. And Kai has a fond smile on his face.
“I just keep replaying our childhood together and I realize how much...how much Jongin liked me at first. He always followed me everywhere and he let me have the better toys and stuff. If I wanted chocolate he’d go and get it, if I fell he’d help me up. Up until high school we were inseparable because he always followed me around. And even our freshman year he’d wait for me so we could walk home together. But I was just so…” Jongin spots the moisture building in Kai’s eyes and he feels a small tug at his heart.
“So what?” Kyungsoo’s voice is soft and he has an arm around the older twin. Jongin remembers when his boyfriend had eased him into his own emotions.
“I was so jealous of him.” Kai sighs.
What?
Jongin barges in suddenly. Both his brother and his boyfriend jump at his sudden presence with wide eyes. Jongin glares at his brother because he is beyond annoyed and confused.
“What the hell do you mean you were jealous?!” he yells.
“Jongin just sit down, calm down.” Kyungsoo stands in front of him, small hands on his chest. But Jongin is not listening.
“What the hell were you jealous about? About how everyone bullied me? How they shoved me down in the hallways and laughed? You were jealous that you got everyone’s attention and I got shit?”
Kais stands up as well, fire in his eyes. “Mom knew you were gay since you were little Jongin. She knew and only recently she told me this. So yeah it wasn’t until a little awhile ago that I was able to understand-”
“Understand what?!”
“Why she always paid more attention to you than me!” Kai screams. Jongin’s head shakes. He awestruck for a moment and he scoffs in disbelief.
“She gave you everything you wanted! She always gave you the bike you wanted she made the food you wanted she did everything for you!” Jongin shoots back.
“You obviously don’t remember our childhood differently.” Kai stars, gently removing Kyungsoo from between them. They’re finally facing each other. Jongin has the urge to run.
“Yeah she gave me the bike but it was you she spent hours teaching how to ride it, it was you she sat next to at every meal and fed and kissed and hugged.” Kai’s voice breaks for a moment. He’s overwhelmed but he keeps going.
“She knew you were different and wanted to show you how much she loved you. That’s all I ever saw, her love for you. So yeah I threw a lot of fits and I tried to get her attention. And it would only last for a second, because in you would walk quiet as a mouse and she’d flail over you.” Kai throws his arms up. And slowly the memories start coming back. Jongin is recalling it all. Oh no.
“Think about it, who does she call all the time? It’s not me. Who did she whine about all of Thanksgiving break? You! I couldn’t understand why she did it all my life,” Kai is crying full on now, breathing deeply and quickly wiping his tears,
“And when you came out I was mad because it was just another reason for her to focus on you and forget about me. I wanted attention and the people in high school gave it me. You had mom and dad. I didn’t understand how much I’d hurt you, how my actions had affected you I thought you had mom’s affection so what else did you need?” the memories are coming back. Jongin can see them. He can see his little self always being picked up and coddled, that after he’d been given the blue scooter how much time his mother had spend clapping as he pushed around in it.
“And she apologized to me after I….after I tried to kill myself.” Kai’s voice drops. In the background Jongin hears Kyungsoo gasp. Jongin’s whole world darkens. He can see it all. The cruel miscommunication that had been Kai and Jongin’s lives. He can remember every time they went school shopping how she’d hastily get all of the things Kai wanted, but then spend the rest of her time helping Jongin pack his bag up, laughing and kissing him endlessly.
“It was during our first semester. When you were dating that druggy guy. I just felt numb. Mom would call me and ask about you. Mom would send care packages and write us both letters but mine would be about taking care of you. Couldn’t it be me for once that she worried about? I felt so alone, and you didn’t want anything to do with me and it felt like my own mother didn’t need me either. So I tried to….I tried to hang myself.” Kai had slowly sat back down on the bed while he talked. Tears streaking his face and Jongin has never seen his brother look so small before.
“It was the first time she’d come to see me, and only me. I was so happy. She apologized to me and she held me for so long. Mom told me that she’d always known you were different. And when you got a little older she somehow knew you were gay. And she didn’t want you to ever doubt that she loved you. That’s why she’d always given you a little more attention than me, and I realized how much I’d misunderstood.”
Kai looks in to his eyes. Jongin swallows. He’d never known all of this. He’d never known his twin had gone through such a dark trial, that he’d tried to end it all.
“I’m sorry Jongin. I’m sorry. I’ll keep apologizing if that’s what you want. I’ll never bother you again if you want that too. I love you, you’re my brother. I fucking love you to pieces and I’m so sorry what I did. I’m so so so sorry.”
Jongin wipes away his own tears before reaching down and collecting Kai in a tight hug.
___
One Year Later…
Jongin used to be the kind of person that accepted things too easily into his life. He was a pushover, someone who let others take advantage of him and stayed silent about all of the abuse that was given to him.
He learned later that it wasn’t bad to be nice, but it wasn’t bad to stick up for yourself either.
He also learned that sometimes one chance can go a long way.
That sometimes the one you love is not what you expected, they are so much more.
That sometimes a misunderstanding can have a large ripple effect, but a little communication can fix all of that.
“Come on, we’re going to be late!” Jongin huffs. Kyungsoo glares at him in the reflection of his floor length mirror and does not speed up his eye make up process. What a diva. “I’ll let you put drag make up on me and whatever sparkly speedo you want when we come back.” he offers with hope.
The most evil filled grin grows on Kyungsoo’s face, “Is that a promise?”
Jongin knows he’s going to regret this, “I promise.”
Kyungsoo hops up from his spot on the floor, “Well I was done anyways!” he giggles and runs over to his taller boyfriend, combing his hair to the side meticulously till he thinks it looks better. “I’m not used to it yet.” he pouts.
Jongin had bleached his hair in a spur of the moment a few weekends ago. He’d scared the shit out of Kyungsoo and made his brother almost shit his pants. He looked completely different but loved it. Kyungsoo had been inspired and turned his hair from black to a bright red. Jongin adored it.
They arrive a little late to the bar. Jongin is crushed in a bear hug by Mr. and Mrs. Do. Then comes his own mother’s teary kisses and his father’s pat on the back. The place is decorated with red and silver streamers. Their family and friends are already chatting it up with pints of beer on each table. Jongin spots Minseok seated with a cute girl who somehow resembles a baby deer…
“What the hell took you guys so long?” Kai complains but is smiling. The twins hug easily, Kai ruffles his little brother’s hair and almost gets a slap to the face.
“Diva wanted to make sure his eyeliner was perfect.” Jongin explains.
“And it does! Kai tell him my eyeliner is perfect.” Kyungsoo pouts. And of course Kai obliges.
“Kyungsoo you’re just perfect all around, how did I get so lucky to have a brother-in-law like you?” Kyungsoo giggles and plants a sweet kiss on the older’s cheek. A small face pops out behind Kai’s shoulders. She’s petite and pale, long wavy black hair falling over her shoulders.
Jongin pounces on her, “Kyungmi! How are you?”
His brother’s girlfriend is a doll. She’s calm overall and sweet like sugar, she also has no problem scolding Kai when he’s being sour. Jongin thinks she’s the best.
Everyone sits down as the cake’s brought out. It’s a three tier. The bottom is silver, the middle is blue and the top is red. You’d think they were celebrating the 4th of July. But no.
“Happy Birthday puppy.” Kyungsoo whispers in his ear. Jongin smiles and kisses him sweetly. The crowd sings the birthday song, and the twins blow out their candles to make a wish. When Kai jumps and tries to claim the top tier Jongin whines in protest.
“Red is my favorite color! Don’t you dare!” he smacks his brother’s hand away. Kai is shocked and puffs out his chest.
With perfect teamwork Kyungmi holds out a two plates while Kyungsoo cuts the red top tier in half so both of the boys get a piece. The twins happily munch on their cake while side eyeing each other. They both loved the color red, horror movies, and beer. It was a twin thing.
Jongin used to always accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life. But now as he looks around….his happy twin brother, his parents, his friends and his Kyungsoo.
He wants everything in his life right now. He wants it all. He will always want this.
“Thank you for noticing me.” he says against Kyungsoo’s lips.
“Anytime you cute bastard.”
End.