Devil's Paramour
Kris was the one I loved the most. Which was why he could hurt me the most.
Kris loved me the most. I was the one that had hurt him the most, that could still hurt him the most.
Thinking of what we'd been through for the past six months made my limbs weak. Such a long period of pain and hatred, just darkness that swallowed me up and beat me down till I felt nothing.
Then along came the gray period. Where my eyes had been snapped open and I'd noticed his wary glances. The realization crept on me like a soft fog.
But the light came, it broke through the mist and it burned. But it burnt so good. Our love was sick, no matter how he treated me I could never leave him. I wondered if he knew that about me. I wondered if he knew that about himself? That from the moment he'd held my hand across that classroom that we'd be entangled together forever? Kris was in love with me as I was with him. No matter how I broke him he'd always want me.
Was this some sick joke life had given me? When my only wish of the world was to give me freedom it gave me a man who'd imprison my heart forever.
Kris was my first and he was my only. Freedom was no longer the thing I wanted most in the world. I wanted my giant and my monster. I wanted them both because they were Kris. All I wanted was Kris.
Luhan was a threat to all of this. Luhan was someone I'd loved, a small bump in the road on my journey to Kris. The Chinese drug lord was a mistake that I'd always regret because now he was here to haunt me. He had mentioned dark plans for Kris and nothing nor no one was aloud to harm my monster except me.
I had to tell him. I didn't want us to go through this again. I wanted him, just him. I'd take him in any form, as long as it was him. We would work it out no matter what our families said, I just wanted him beside me and I wanted to wake up in his arms and come home to his caress. Kris was it for me.
With stumbling feet I kicked my way out of my bed and fell to the ground. My body was burning and my palms were clammy. But it didn't matter. I'd beg if I had to, and I'd tell him everything if it meant we had a chance. My knees were filled with liquid and my head felt like a skull of metal was harbored inside. But I was going to get to him and confess everything even if it killed me. Taking a deep breath to clear my mind, I picked myself up and made my way outside. The hallway felt longer than usual and I had to hold on the the railing tightly to keep my balance. I had to tell him and then we could start over.
My first thought was to go to his study, surely it was a place he'd be. It was still day out and when he was mad at me my monster had the habit of shoving himself under a pile of paperwork. But the door was locked, and there was no answer. Not even from Lay or Tao. Which meant Kris was elsewhere. I wiped the sweat from my brow and scuffled forward in a hurry.
A great soreness throbbed around my eyes, my hand came up lazily to wipe away another bead of sweat. Maybe the library was where he would be. I moaned in frustration at how far it was. I didn't have time for this. I needed to get to him now.
He wasn't in the kitchen or the first living room. My body shook with anxiety while my skin heated up and it was hard to keep my eyes open. I had to tell him.
I followed the sound of the yelling and the mild chaos. He was at the entrance in front of the double doors with Luhan and Kai. My brain registered Tao holding my cousin captive while Luhan snarled at him, but all my eyes could really see was Kris. My monster was still here and I still had a chance.
He spotted me before the others did and frowned at me. But I didn't care. I had to tell him. I had-
“Minseok?!” Kris gasped as his arms caught my falling body. The weeping began again. I needed him to hear what I had to say but the sobbing was overruling my mouth and the tears clouded my vision. The heat was everywhere in my body. Even if Kris' body added to that heat I didn't care, I clung to him and begged him to listen. I was sorry and I loved him. I would tell him everything,
“Please don't hate me again! Please!”
He stared at me with a furrowed brow of concern. I wanted to tell him everything. The heat, his face, my eyes couldn't keep open. I was going hysterical and he was watching me. Kris was listening and I couldn't tell him, physically I was incapable of telling him. Oh how I wanted to but I couldn't and I cried harder. So hard that my breathing became panicked. Kris' eyes bulged and he gripped me tightly while lowering me to the floor. The cold marble shocked me and I screamed and turned.
“I have to tell you! Kris listen! Listen!”
“Calm down lover calm down deep breaths,” he shushed while his fingers combed through my damp hair. It was touching really. He was furious with me yet he was taking care of me in my weak moment. A peek of black hair from behind Kris' frame made me cry again. My body jumped and I tried to pull Kris with me, we had to get away and I had to tell him. But not with Luhan standing behind and waiting for the opportunity to kill.
My fingers scratched and tugged at his collar to pull him close, “Kris Kris I have to-”
“Lover breath please.” his hand grabbed mine. He wasn't listening anymore. He was worried about me and I was worried about him. But only one of us was in our right mind. “Ssh. Just breath Lover you have a fever calm down. I don't hate you.”
“He burned them! He burned them all and he's going to burn you too! Kris!”
And for one second he paused with his cooing and his caressing fingers. For one solid second I saw his eyes adjust and stare at me. Almost as if he could understand everything I was trying to say and he could see everything I'd seen and now he knew. One second. Then the next it was gone.
“Lover, your fever is terrible. Lay get a guest room ready for him.” he whispered as the tap of polished feet walked away. There was grunting in the background and someone else was calling my name. Kris was the only one in my vision and I wanted to scream at myself. He was right here but how come I couldn't tell him what I wanted to?
My lips stuttered, “I never wanted to leave you. I didn't want break up with you.”
“Sir he hasn't eaten for a day it's probably why he is so ill.” Lay, help me I have to tell him.
“Shall I take Kai away now sir?” No I need him Tao don't take Kai, he'll help me. Don't.
“Kris I think he's going to pass out.” Fuck Luhan is still here, Kris listen to me I have to tell you.
“Lay is the room ready?” My precious monster listen, Luhan is not your ally. He is never anyone's ally. He'll burn us like he did them. We have to run, I have to tell you everything. Even if you hate me for a while I can take it because you'll know the truth.
“Yes sir, would you like me to take him?” Lay no don't I have to tell him!
“No it's fine I've got him.” a whimper was all I could muster as he lifted me in his arms. And I curled in his hold and shivered because of my body heat. Everything was falling apart too quickly. Like water falling through my unprepared hands.
“When you're done with that we still have things to discuss.” Luhan's voice caused my body to go rigid. No Kris don't go to him, stay with me.
“I know I'll meet you at your warehouse. Tao get rid of that man. Lay tell Sulli to watch over Xiumin while I go and meet with Luhan yes?”
We ascended the grand stair case slowly. And Kris was gentle with me, even though he warned that we'd discuss this later. I was tucked in to bed with my heard hammering in my ears and the fever making my stomach sick. Kris left me with a soft kiss on my temple and a promise that he'd be back. I wanted to scream after him but my vision was blacking out again.
No Kris no, he'll burn us all. He'll chain us to the building and dig rusted knives in to our flesh. He'll pull our teeth and cut our fingers. He'll chain us to the building, he'll cut out our tongues and dig our eyes out. We'll be blind and mute and so enraged in pain that we won't smell the fire as it grows around us. We won't be able to scream properly and the broken sound will haunt his dreams. But he'll enjoy it, Kris listen to me. Luhan is no one's ally. He is the true devil and I have to tell you that I loved him once. I'm sorry but I loved him once, but it ended. I love you. Run.
~ ~ ~
Breath. Panic. Awake. Kris.
Luhan sat at the foot of the bed I was in. The room was smaller than my usual one. The bed was smaller as well and there was only a few windows as compared to my usual balcony doors that let in gallons of sunlight. The atmosphere was bleak. Having Luhan there didn't help. I didn't dare make any sudden movements. It was best to sit and wait to see exactly what the Chinese man had to say. If you assumed things about how he was feeling you might as well end up dead.
I was really seeing him for the first time since we'd last been together. Yes I'd seen his face at the ball, and he'd seen me. But I hadn't had the time to really look him over before taking off screaming like a lunatic. He was taller than before. His midnight hair was unruly and darker than before. The tattoos adorning his skin had multiplied from what I could see, the ear piercings had become more adventurous and the bags under his eyes had gotten heavier. He wasn't bothering with a fancy suit like Kris did every day. A pair of jeans and a loose shirt were all he needed to feel comfortable. That and his lit cigarette that he puffed on. He was Luhan indeed.
Luhan always had an air about him that affected people. Kris had the same thing too. They both had a way about them that made others look at them and focus. The way they held their heads high made people feel like they were below them automatically. Luhan could be butt naked and all he really needed was a cigarette to feel and look like he could take over the world. Kris probably needed a nice wrist watch to do the same. But there was a slight difference with the presence of Kris and Luhan.
Kris was very good at hiding his anger. None of his colleagues would ever be able to guess he'd been raping and beating his lover a few months ago. He was strict by nature and stern looking with his shark gaze and thin lips. He kept his shit together and made it look classy.
Luhan looked like he was ready to burst. His eyes were red around the edges as if he never slept and I could see dirt under his finger nails. He was trying so hard to look put together but the twitch of a snarl in his lip and the fact that he couldn't sit still gave him away. Luhan wanted to strangle someone till he was satisfied. The look he gave me told me he'd never be satisfied.
“I'm pretty sure I said I'd kill him if you told him. I meant that little baozi.” Luhan licked his lips that looked dry. With a lift of his hand to bring his cancer stick to his mouth I spotted that his tattoos had winded down to his fingers. He noticed too and smirked, “You always had a kink for my ink hm?”
He held out his hands out to show me. On his left hand was Kill and on the right Love in bold calligraphy. His lips puckered and released some smoke before he explained, “Love to Kill and Kill for Love. You taught me that baozi.”
I frowned but didn't speak. It wasn't smart to start talking if you weren't on good terms with him. It was best to just listen and wait to see what ground you stood on. Luhan was like a gunshot. You hear it and it's so loud and in your ears that it makes you jump. But you freeze up and wait for to see what happens. Thinking you're smart you run away, and that's when the bullet plunges itself in to your stomach so you can die a slow death. Luhan likes slow deaths.
“You used to be so fond of me baby, what happened?” Luhan smiled and his fingers shook slightly. He shifted in his seat slightly while his neck twitched. “Ah that's right. You just up and left me one day with all my money. That was a funny day. Waking up with out you there, my safe opened and all my money gone. I was so pissed. My baby baozi, the one I trusted the most and fucked like he was made of ivory. My baby ran away with all my money. But the worst part was that I still worried about you.”
Luhan smirked to himself. When he jumped to his feet I wanted to jump back. But there was no where to go. I pressed myself against the headboard anyways while Luhan walked close to me and sat right in the bed with me. As he'd done before while I was blindfolded, he made himself comfortable on the mattress. With a tilt of his head and his blood shot eyes staring at me he confessed,
“I was planning on forgiving you. I told myself that if you came back with in a month I'd take you back. I envisioned it baby, you showing up on my doorstep with tear filled eyes and begging at my knees for my mercy and love. And I'd give it to you after mildly punishing you with a few yells and some rough sex. Which I know you secretly liked when ever we did have it. And then we'd go back to normal.” he grinned with a light laugh, “Granted I'd watch you much more closely. But I'd make it work. Because I was so head over heels for you. I was in love, but you knew that didn't you?”
The smoke Luhan blew in my face made my cough slightly and clear my throat. Sure I'd known he loved me, and I loved him. But he was a job then, my love happened because I'd had to go to extremes for a job. I was meant to collect the money for my uncle and myself. It was to be a big point in my career as a Kim, a landmark if you will. It hurt to leave Luhan and it hurt to take his money.
“I'm sorry.” the words were small from my lips. Luhan barked a laugh and then took a long drag of cigarette. We sat in silence for a moment.
He looked at me again and smiled. The smile made my skin feel a few degrees cooler. Every hair on the back of my neck stood straight up.
“Oh sweet Xiumin,” his honeyed words struck me, “it's far too late for a little apology.”
He was right. I knew that from the second I'd said the words. Could it hurt to try though? Ah but I'd forgotten. You shouldn't speak unless you knew exactly where you stood when it came to Luhan. And now I'd spoken out of turn. Let the skinning begin.
Luhan scooted closer. His left eye twitched, his lips were dry, his eyes were red and deranged.
“I fucking hate you now. I despise your existence and I've been searching the world just to drag you back kicking and screaming.” his grin widened and made his eyes crinkle at the corners, “And your cute ass just fell in to my lap. Funny how karma works.”
Luhan moved quickly and suddenly his lips were pressed to my ear. His teeth bit hard, not aiming to give pleasure but to make me yelp with pain “I want to shove a knife up your ass and watch you bleed to death. The second I get the opportunity I will murder you in the most painful and slowest way I can think of.” his fingers were cold when they touched my neck. His thumb pressed on my Adam's apple softly, daring to press a little harder.
“Until then, don't fuck with my plans. Tell him anything and I'll serve his head to you for breakfast.”
“You can't touch him.” I finally found my voice and growled back, “he has-”
Luhan's thumb pushed just as his fingers squeezed around my neck. My reaction was to shove my fist in his face as hard as possible. My punch didn't even phase him and he came back at me with a angry hiss. With a roar my head was slammed against the headboard, sending my body to curl in to itself. Luhan shoved my body away and stood over me, his smoke blown at me for good measure.
“He has what?! Those cage dogs to protect him? You think those scrawny dog scares me? I knew what they were the second I saw them! I've bought pups like them before, I've used them before and killed them all!” Luhan ranted and stormed back and forth. His face turned a shade red as he yelled and I threw him a glare because I had no clue what he was talking about. I was nursing my own head and trying to ease the throbbing pain away.
“Tell him and I kill him, hint anything to him and I'll kill your friend Kai, try to whisper it in his ear and I'll have one of his maids hung outside the windows. I have my men ready to blow this place to pieces if you utter one fucking word do you hear me?!” the veins on his neck popped out by the end of his speech. This was not the Luhan I had met in the past. He was so far gone.
My collar was grabbed and he shook me violently, “Do we have an understanding?”
Did I lie? Luhan would surely follow through with what he said. I'd seen him do it before. I'd seen everything he was capable of. Luhan was the devil's spawn. It amazed me that I'd been in love with this man at one point. He bared his teeth and shook me again, my hands gripped his wrists for dear life.
“Do. You. Understand?”
I just want you, nothing else. I need you. I'm going to keep you. No one is going to take you from me.
“I understand.”
Kris, I loved him and I trusted him. I would find a way. The lie would only last a little while but I'd find a way to clear this. I'd find a way out of this and with Kris alive and well. I hoped he trusted me as I did him. He probably didn't.
Luhan's smirk made me sick, “Good, now give me a sweet kiss will you?”
I frowned, “Fuck you.” a bit of spit left my mouth but I didn't care. My words didn't make him mad and he shrugged them off. With a flick of his cigarette butt out the window he turned on his heel and made his way to the door.
“Oh I forgot,” he paused before opening the door and looked over his shoulder, “I think I'm going to kill Kai anyways. Just for fun you know? Let's say a bedazzled tongue necklace?”
The door shut with a loud click. I screamed until my lungs begged to breath again, tossed and turned until I fell out of the bed, and beat my fists in to the carpet until a host of servants came running in to restrain me. Sulli was among them. She pushed the others away and embraced me tightly. She thought it was the fever again because my skin felt so warm and sent someone to get me aspirin and water. I sobbed in her arms. Kai, the son of my father's brother. A good friend, and he'd always been there when I'd needed him. How was I supposed to protect him now?
--Three Years and Six Months Earlier--
“What the hell are you doing here? Aw I'm kidding come 'ere little guy!” I heard Chen swear but laugh at the same time. It someone close to us by the sound of laughing and hand slapping.
I was honestly surprised to see my cousin Jongin, or Kai, walk around the corner. He was one of my younger cousins, one that had a lot of potential but still needed to mature. We'd gone to the same school together but he'd been too young to hang out with me and Chen. Though he'd been introduced to our friends and clearly labeled as 'fuck with him and you fuck with us'. Chen and I had been discussing my next big project, something that his father had put me up to. It was a test really, to see just how loyal I was to the family name. It would be my biggest success if I could do it, and my favorite cousin was helping me map out a basic plan and offering his help for my other work on the side.
“Hi Minseok.” my young relative bowed and quietly took a seat at the kitchen table.
“Jongin.” I greeted with a half wave and awkwardly sipped my coffee. Chen skipped over with a shit eating grin on his face and slung an arm around Jongin who looked uncomfortable.
“I called in reinforcements!” Chen chirped and ruffled the youngster's hair playfully. Jongin frowned and tried to get away from his older relative's reach. I laughed at his failed attempt because he ended up with Chen hugging him tighter and cooing as if we were dealing with an infant.
“Looks like the three first cousins are finally together right?” Chen wiggled his eyebrows while Jongin scowled with confusion.
“Isn't my Hyung the eldest? Wouldn't he be the first cousin?” the baby pouted and I had to admit he was kind of cute in his own way. The excited cousin chuckled.
“No offense Jongin but your brother is the bastard child. I mean that doesn't make him any less of a Kim but we all know your the only son of your mother. So I count you as one of the big three. Don't you Minseok?” Chen turned to me with an upped brow. I nodded my head silently and Jongin held back a smile and nodded back.
We were dubbed the three major sons in our family because of our fathers. They were direct descendants of our great grandfather. My father was the eldest brothers, Chen's father the middle, and Jongin's the youngest. And we were born in that order as cousins. While Jongin's older brother Jongwoon was still considered family and treated like it, he was conceived out of wedlock. My aunt's first born child was Jongin and therefore when it came to the written family tree he was the one with higher standing than his brother.
“So you're here to help me Jongin?” I asked my young cousin. His eyes shot up in panic and his head bobbled quickly. He was so young, barely getting out of high school and already he had been taught the family code. I'd asked for help, or Chen told him I needed it, and therefore it was his duty to do whatever we requested of him. Poor baby was barely reaching 18, that felt like a lifetime away for me.
“You don't have to if you don't want to.” the words left me before I could think about it. Chen stared at me with his mouth agape and Jongin's eyes grew wide.
“Of course I want to Minseok. I want to help. You're family.” he assured. Beside him Chen nodded proudly. It made me sick. With a sigh I leaned back in my chair and urged for the plans to go on. My eager cousin clapped his hands together and started pointing out things on his little scrabbled out plan papers. He was showing Jongin the blue prints of the house he was going to be looking over me in when the youngster cut in finally,
“What's his name again? The target's name?” he asked with puppy eyes. Chen yelled 'Oh right!' and pulled up his profile on the opened laptop we had set up.
“His name's Lu Han,” I spoke up, “he's Chinese. The same age as me. Pretty handsome right?” I smirked when Jongin checked out the online profile and blushed slightly.
“Y-yeah. He is. He's dangerous? I mean he must be for you to need me watching over you from above.” Jongin answered his own question.
“Yup he is!” Chen sighed, “Fucking insane from the word on the street. Mental this guy is. Minseok is way too scared to go in with out protection.” he teased and got a good punch to his arm for it. We all laughed lightly.
“Be serious. This man could very well kill us.” I said solemnly. For a second Jongin believed me until Chen spit out a laugh and chugged back a bit of beer.
“Yeah okay, some Chinese drug dealer is going to kill us. That'll be a funny thing to see.” Chen huffed and shook his head in denial. We were young and so brave, ready to take on everything and everyone.
Jongin smiled, “I know I'm young you guys, but I'm not going to let some drug dealer kill me so easily.”
Kris loved me the most. I was the one that had hurt him the most, that could still hurt him the most.
Thinking of what we'd been through for the past six months made my limbs weak. Such a long period of pain and hatred, just darkness that swallowed me up and beat me down till I felt nothing.
Then along came the gray period. Where my eyes had been snapped open and I'd noticed his wary glances. The realization crept on me like a soft fog.
But the light came, it broke through the mist and it burned. But it burnt so good. Our love was sick, no matter how he treated me I could never leave him. I wondered if he knew that about me. I wondered if he knew that about himself? That from the moment he'd held my hand across that classroom that we'd be entangled together forever? Kris was in love with me as I was with him. No matter how I broke him he'd always want me.
Was this some sick joke life had given me? When my only wish of the world was to give me freedom it gave me a man who'd imprison my heart forever.
Kris was my first and he was my only. Freedom was no longer the thing I wanted most in the world. I wanted my giant and my monster. I wanted them both because they were Kris. All I wanted was Kris.
Luhan was a threat to all of this. Luhan was someone I'd loved, a small bump in the road on my journey to Kris. The Chinese drug lord was a mistake that I'd always regret because now he was here to haunt me. He had mentioned dark plans for Kris and nothing nor no one was aloud to harm my monster except me.
I had to tell him. I didn't want us to go through this again. I wanted him, just him. I'd take him in any form, as long as it was him. We would work it out no matter what our families said, I just wanted him beside me and I wanted to wake up in his arms and come home to his caress. Kris was it for me.
With stumbling feet I kicked my way out of my bed and fell to the ground. My body was burning and my palms were clammy. But it didn't matter. I'd beg if I had to, and I'd tell him everything if it meant we had a chance. My knees were filled with liquid and my head felt like a skull of metal was harbored inside. But I was going to get to him and confess everything even if it killed me. Taking a deep breath to clear my mind, I picked myself up and made my way outside. The hallway felt longer than usual and I had to hold on the the railing tightly to keep my balance. I had to tell him and then we could start over.
My first thought was to go to his study, surely it was a place he'd be. It was still day out and when he was mad at me my monster had the habit of shoving himself under a pile of paperwork. But the door was locked, and there was no answer. Not even from Lay or Tao. Which meant Kris was elsewhere. I wiped the sweat from my brow and scuffled forward in a hurry.
A great soreness throbbed around my eyes, my hand came up lazily to wipe away another bead of sweat. Maybe the library was where he would be. I moaned in frustration at how far it was. I didn't have time for this. I needed to get to him now.
He wasn't in the kitchen or the first living room. My body shook with anxiety while my skin heated up and it was hard to keep my eyes open. I had to tell him.
I followed the sound of the yelling and the mild chaos. He was at the entrance in front of the double doors with Luhan and Kai. My brain registered Tao holding my cousin captive while Luhan snarled at him, but all my eyes could really see was Kris. My monster was still here and I still had a chance.
He spotted me before the others did and frowned at me. But I didn't care. I had to tell him. I had-
“Minseok?!” Kris gasped as his arms caught my falling body. The weeping began again. I needed him to hear what I had to say but the sobbing was overruling my mouth and the tears clouded my vision. The heat was everywhere in my body. Even if Kris' body added to that heat I didn't care, I clung to him and begged him to listen. I was sorry and I loved him. I would tell him everything,
“Please don't hate me again! Please!”
He stared at me with a furrowed brow of concern. I wanted to tell him everything. The heat, his face, my eyes couldn't keep open. I was going hysterical and he was watching me. Kris was listening and I couldn't tell him, physically I was incapable of telling him. Oh how I wanted to but I couldn't and I cried harder. So hard that my breathing became panicked. Kris' eyes bulged and he gripped me tightly while lowering me to the floor. The cold marble shocked me and I screamed and turned.
“I have to tell you! Kris listen! Listen!”
“Calm down lover calm down deep breaths,” he shushed while his fingers combed through my damp hair. It was touching really. He was furious with me yet he was taking care of me in my weak moment. A peek of black hair from behind Kris' frame made me cry again. My body jumped and I tried to pull Kris with me, we had to get away and I had to tell him. But not with Luhan standing behind and waiting for the opportunity to kill.
My fingers scratched and tugged at his collar to pull him close, “Kris Kris I have to-”
“Lover breath please.” his hand grabbed mine. He wasn't listening anymore. He was worried about me and I was worried about him. But only one of us was in our right mind. “Ssh. Just breath Lover you have a fever calm down. I don't hate you.”
“He burned them! He burned them all and he's going to burn you too! Kris!”
And for one second he paused with his cooing and his caressing fingers. For one solid second I saw his eyes adjust and stare at me. Almost as if he could understand everything I was trying to say and he could see everything I'd seen and now he knew. One second. Then the next it was gone.
“Lover, your fever is terrible. Lay get a guest room ready for him.” he whispered as the tap of polished feet walked away. There was grunting in the background and someone else was calling my name. Kris was the only one in my vision and I wanted to scream at myself. He was right here but how come I couldn't tell him what I wanted to?
My lips stuttered, “I never wanted to leave you. I didn't want break up with you.”
“Sir he hasn't eaten for a day it's probably why he is so ill.” Lay, help me I have to tell him.
“Shall I take Kai away now sir?” No I need him Tao don't take Kai, he'll help me. Don't.
“Kris I think he's going to pass out.” Fuck Luhan is still here, Kris listen to me I have to tell you.
“Lay is the room ready?” My precious monster listen, Luhan is not your ally. He is never anyone's ally. He'll burn us like he did them. We have to run, I have to tell you everything. Even if you hate me for a while I can take it because you'll know the truth.
“Yes sir, would you like me to take him?” Lay no don't I have to tell him!
“No it's fine I've got him.” a whimper was all I could muster as he lifted me in his arms. And I curled in his hold and shivered because of my body heat. Everything was falling apart too quickly. Like water falling through my unprepared hands.
“When you're done with that we still have things to discuss.” Luhan's voice caused my body to go rigid. No Kris don't go to him, stay with me.
“I know I'll meet you at your warehouse. Tao get rid of that man. Lay tell Sulli to watch over Xiumin while I go and meet with Luhan yes?”
We ascended the grand stair case slowly. And Kris was gentle with me, even though he warned that we'd discuss this later. I was tucked in to bed with my heard hammering in my ears and the fever making my stomach sick. Kris left me with a soft kiss on my temple and a promise that he'd be back. I wanted to scream after him but my vision was blacking out again.
No Kris no, he'll burn us all. He'll chain us to the building and dig rusted knives in to our flesh. He'll pull our teeth and cut our fingers. He'll chain us to the building, he'll cut out our tongues and dig our eyes out. We'll be blind and mute and so enraged in pain that we won't smell the fire as it grows around us. We won't be able to scream properly and the broken sound will haunt his dreams. But he'll enjoy it, Kris listen to me. Luhan is no one's ally. He is the true devil and I have to tell you that I loved him once. I'm sorry but I loved him once, but it ended. I love you. Run.
~ ~ ~
Breath. Panic. Awake. Kris.
Luhan sat at the foot of the bed I was in. The room was smaller than my usual one. The bed was smaller as well and there was only a few windows as compared to my usual balcony doors that let in gallons of sunlight. The atmosphere was bleak. Having Luhan there didn't help. I didn't dare make any sudden movements. It was best to sit and wait to see exactly what the Chinese man had to say. If you assumed things about how he was feeling you might as well end up dead.
I was really seeing him for the first time since we'd last been together. Yes I'd seen his face at the ball, and he'd seen me. But I hadn't had the time to really look him over before taking off screaming like a lunatic. He was taller than before. His midnight hair was unruly and darker than before. The tattoos adorning his skin had multiplied from what I could see, the ear piercings had become more adventurous and the bags under his eyes had gotten heavier. He wasn't bothering with a fancy suit like Kris did every day. A pair of jeans and a loose shirt were all he needed to feel comfortable. That and his lit cigarette that he puffed on. He was Luhan indeed.
Luhan always had an air about him that affected people. Kris had the same thing too. They both had a way about them that made others look at them and focus. The way they held their heads high made people feel like they were below them automatically. Luhan could be butt naked and all he really needed was a cigarette to feel and look like he could take over the world. Kris probably needed a nice wrist watch to do the same. But there was a slight difference with the presence of Kris and Luhan.
Kris was very good at hiding his anger. None of his colleagues would ever be able to guess he'd been raping and beating his lover a few months ago. He was strict by nature and stern looking with his shark gaze and thin lips. He kept his shit together and made it look classy.
Luhan looked like he was ready to burst. His eyes were red around the edges as if he never slept and I could see dirt under his finger nails. He was trying so hard to look put together but the twitch of a snarl in his lip and the fact that he couldn't sit still gave him away. Luhan wanted to strangle someone till he was satisfied. The look he gave me told me he'd never be satisfied.
“I'm pretty sure I said I'd kill him if you told him. I meant that little baozi.” Luhan licked his lips that looked dry. With a lift of his hand to bring his cancer stick to his mouth I spotted that his tattoos had winded down to his fingers. He noticed too and smirked, “You always had a kink for my ink hm?”
He held out his hands out to show me. On his left hand was Kill and on the right Love in bold calligraphy. His lips puckered and released some smoke before he explained, “Love to Kill and Kill for Love. You taught me that baozi.”
I frowned but didn't speak. It wasn't smart to start talking if you weren't on good terms with him. It was best to just listen and wait to see what ground you stood on. Luhan was like a gunshot. You hear it and it's so loud and in your ears that it makes you jump. But you freeze up and wait for to see what happens. Thinking you're smart you run away, and that's when the bullet plunges itself in to your stomach so you can die a slow death. Luhan likes slow deaths.
“You used to be so fond of me baby, what happened?” Luhan smiled and his fingers shook slightly. He shifted in his seat slightly while his neck twitched. “Ah that's right. You just up and left me one day with all my money. That was a funny day. Waking up with out you there, my safe opened and all my money gone. I was so pissed. My baby baozi, the one I trusted the most and fucked like he was made of ivory. My baby ran away with all my money. But the worst part was that I still worried about you.”
Luhan smirked to himself. When he jumped to his feet I wanted to jump back. But there was no where to go. I pressed myself against the headboard anyways while Luhan walked close to me and sat right in the bed with me. As he'd done before while I was blindfolded, he made himself comfortable on the mattress. With a tilt of his head and his blood shot eyes staring at me he confessed,
“I was planning on forgiving you. I told myself that if you came back with in a month I'd take you back. I envisioned it baby, you showing up on my doorstep with tear filled eyes and begging at my knees for my mercy and love. And I'd give it to you after mildly punishing you with a few yells and some rough sex. Which I know you secretly liked when ever we did have it. And then we'd go back to normal.” he grinned with a light laugh, “Granted I'd watch you much more closely. But I'd make it work. Because I was so head over heels for you. I was in love, but you knew that didn't you?”
The smoke Luhan blew in my face made my cough slightly and clear my throat. Sure I'd known he loved me, and I loved him. But he was a job then, my love happened because I'd had to go to extremes for a job. I was meant to collect the money for my uncle and myself. It was to be a big point in my career as a Kim, a landmark if you will. It hurt to leave Luhan and it hurt to take his money.
“I'm sorry.” the words were small from my lips. Luhan barked a laugh and then took a long drag of cigarette. We sat in silence for a moment.
He looked at me again and smiled. The smile made my skin feel a few degrees cooler. Every hair on the back of my neck stood straight up.
“Oh sweet Xiumin,” his honeyed words struck me, “it's far too late for a little apology.”
He was right. I knew that from the second I'd said the words. Could it hurt to try though? Ah but I'd forgotten. You shouldn't speak unless you knew exactly where you stood when it came to Luhan. And now I'd spoken out of turn. Let the skinning begin.
Luhan scooted closer. His left eye twitched, his lips were dry, his eyes were red and deranged.
“I fucking hate you now. I despise your existence and I've been searching the world just to drag you back kicking and screaming.” his grin widened and made his eyes crinkle at the corners, “And your cute ass just fell in to my lap. Funny how karma works.”
Luhan moved quickly and suddenly his lips were pressed to my ear. His teeth bit hard, not aiming to give pleasure but to make me yelp with pain “I want to shove a knife up your ass and watch you bleed to death. The second I get the opportunity I will murder you in the most painful and slowest way I can think of.” his fingers were cold when they touched my neck. His thumb pressed on my Adam's apple softly, daring to press a little harder.
“Until then, don't fuck with my plans. Tell him anything and I'll serve his head to you for breakfast.”
“You can't touch him.” I finally found my voice and growled back, “he has-”
Luhan's thumb pushed just as his fingers squeezed around my neck. My reaction was to shove my fist in his face as hard as possible. My punch didn't even phase him and he came back at me with a angry hiss. With a roar my head was slammed against the headboard, sending my body to curl in to itself. Luhan shoved my body away and stood over me, his smoke blown at me for good measure.
“He has what?! Those cage dogs to protect him? You think those scrawny dog scares me? I knew what they were the second I saw them! I've bought pups like them before, I've used them before and killed them all!” Luhan ranted and stormed back and forth. His face turned a shade red as he yelled and I threw him a glare because I had no clue what he was talking about. I was nursing my own head and trying to ease the throbbing pain away.
“Tell him and I kill him, hint anything to him and I'll kill your friend Kai, try to whisper it in his ear and I'll have one of his maids hung outside the windows. I have my men ready to blow this place to pieces if you utter one fucking word do you hear me?!” the veins on his neck popped out by the end of his speech. This was not the Luhan I had met in the past. He was so far gone.
My collar was grabbed and he shook me violently, “Do we have an understanding?”
Did I lie? Luhan would surely follow through with what he said. I'd seen him do it before. I'd seen everything he was capable of. Luhan was the devil's spawn. It amazed me that I'd been in love with this man at one point. He bared his teeth and shook me again, my hands gripped his wrists for dear life.
“Do. You. Understand?”
I just want you, nothing else. I need you. I'm going to keep you. No one is going to take you from me.
“I understand.”
Kris, I loved him and I trusted him. I would find a way. The lie would only last a little while but I'd find a way to clear this. I'd find a way out of this and with Kris alive and well. I hoped he trusted me as I did him. He probably didn't.
Luhan's smirk made me sick, “Good, now give me a sweet kiss will you?”
I frowned, “Fuck you.” a bit of spit left my mouth but I didn't care. My words didn't make him mad and he shrugged them off. With a flick of his cigarette butt out the window he turned on his heel and made his way to the door.
“Oh I forgot,” he paused before opening the door and looked over his shoulder, “I think I'm going to kill Kai anyways. Just for fun you know? Let's say a bedazzled tongue necklace?”
The door shut with a loud click. I screamed until my lungs begged to breath again, tossed and turned until I fell out of the bed, and beat my fists in to the carpet until a host of servants came running in to restrain me. Sulli was among them. She pushed the others away and embraced me tightly. She thought it was the fever again because my skin felt so warm and sent someone to get me aspirin and water. I sobbed in her arms. Kai, the son of my father's brother. A good friend, and he'd always been there when I'd needed him. How was I supposed to protect him now?
--Three Years and Six Months Earlier--
“What the hell are you doing here? Aw I'm kidding come 'ere little guy!” I heard Chen swear but laugh at the same time. It someone close to us by the sound of laughing and hand slapping.
I was honestly surprised to see my cousin Jongin, or Kai, walk around the corner. He was one of my younger cousins, one that had a lot of potential but still needed to mature. We'd gone to the same school together but he'd been too young to hang out with me and Chen. Though he'd been introduced to our friends and clearly labeled as 'fuck with him and you fuck with us'. Chen and I had been discussing my next big project, something that his father had put me up to. It was a test really, to see just how loyal I was to the family name. It would be my biggest success if I could do it, and my favorite cousin was helping me map out a basic plan and offering his help for my other work on the side.
“Hi Minseok.” my young relative bowed and quietly took a seat at the kitchen table.
“Jongin.” I greeted with a half wave and awkwardly sipped my coffee. Chen skipped over with a shit eating grin on his face and slung an arm around Jongin who looked uncomfortable.
“I called in reinforcements!” Chen chirped and ruffled the youngster's hair playfully. Jongin frowned and tried to get away from his older relative's reach. I laughed at his failed attempt because he ended up with Chen hugging him tighter and cooing as if we were dealing with an infant.
“Looks like the three first cousins are finally together right?” Chen wiggled his eyebrows while Jongin scowled with confusion.
“Isn't my Hyung the eldest? Wouldn't he be the first cousin?” the baby pouted and I had to admit he was kind of cute in his own way. The excited cousin chuckled.
“No offense Jongin but your brother is the bastard child. I mean that doesn't make him any less of a Kim but we all know your the only son of your mother. So I count you as one of the big three. Don't you Minseok?” Chen turned to me with an upped brow. I nodded my head silently and Jongin held back a smile and nodded back.
We were dubbed the three major sons in our family because of our fathers. They were direct descendants of our great grandfather. My father was the eldest brothers, Chen's father the middle, and Jongin's the youngest. And we were born in that order as cousins. While Jongin's older brother Jongwoon was still considered family and treated like it, he was conceived out of wedlock. My aunt's first born child was Jongin and therefore when it came to the written family tree he was the one with higher standing than his brother.
“So you're here to help me Jongin?” I asked my young cousin. His eyes shot up in panic and his head bobbled quickly. He was so young, barely getting out of high school and already he had been taught the family code. I'd asked for help, or Chen told him I needed it, and therefore it was his duty to do whatever we requested of him. Poor baby was barely reaching 18, that felt like a lifetime away for me.
“You don't have to if you don't want to.” the words left me before I could think about it. Chen stared at me with his mouth agape and Jongin's eyes grew wide.
“Of course I want to Minseok. I want to help. You're family.” he assured. Beside him Chen nodded proudly. It made me sick. With a sigh I leaned back in my chair and urged for the plans to go on. My eager cousin clapped his hands together and started pointing out things on his little scrabbled out plan papers. He was showing Jongin the blue prints of the house he was going to be looking over me in when the youngster cut in finally,
“What's his name again? The target's name?” he asked with puppy eyes. Chen yelled 'Oh right!' and pulled up his profile on the opened laptop we had set up.
“His name's Lu Han,” I spoke up, “he's Chinese. The same age as me. Pretty handsome right?” I smirked when Jongin checked out the online profile and blushed slightly.
“Y-yeah. He is. He's dangerous? I mean he must be for you to need me watching over you from above.” Jongin answered his own question.
“Yup he is!” Chen sighed, “Fucking insane from the word on the street. Mental this guy is. Minseok is way too scared to go in with out protection.” he teased and got a good punch to his arm for it. We all laughed lightly.
“Be serious. This man could very well kill us.” I said solemnly. For a second Jongin believed me until Chen spit out a laugh and chugged back a bit of beer.
“Yeah okay, some Chinese drug dealer is going to kill us. That'll be a funny thing to see.” Chen huffed and shook his head in denial. We were young and so brave, ready to take on everything and everyone.
Jongin smiled, “I know I'm young you guys, but I'm not going to let some drug dealer kill me so easily.”