Imagine That.
Title: Imagine That
One-Shot
Pairing: KaiSoo, ChanKai, KrisKai, BaekYeol and XiuHan if you blink really hard.
Rating: mmmmm R I guess.
Summary: Jongin has always had to accept things. Just things in general.
_________________________________________________
Jongin has always had to accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life, he has accepted.
Jongin has always accepted the way people treat him, how they pass over him as if he is speck of misplaced paint on a slab of concrete. He is stuck to stay. They see him but do nothing but either step on him or move along.
Jongin has always had to accept his life for what it is. From everyone. His friends, his boyfriend, his parents and even his twin.
Kai has always taken what he wants. Jongin can clearly remember being six and wanting the red scooter. His mother had bought two scooters, blue and red. Jongin liked red, it was bright and vibrant. It reminded him of tomatoes and he loved tomatoes. But Kai wanted red too, began to whine when Jongin reached for the red scooter. Their mother gave Kai what he wanted, only because Jongin didn’t protest.
Jongin doesn’t know how it happens and he can’t figure out how he became this way, but as he grows older he just starts to accept what everyone does to him.
Baekhyun becomes his best friend through default. They are seated next to each other through elementary and Baekhyun carts Jongin around like a handbag in middle school. Jongin accepts this friendship. The friendship where Baekhyun cheats on homework through him, uses all of Jongin’s electronics without asking, tells Jongin what to do all the time because this is all Jongin knows.
And really without Baekhyun, Jongin wouldn’t have any friends.
In high school Kai soars above the rest. He’s popular beyond belief. He plays on basketball and football, he does some track on the side and dates girls who are on the top of the food chain. Jongin spends a lot of time in the safety of the library staring at a senior boy with midnight black hair and a sweet smile. After a week of their freshman year Kai starts staying after school and lets Jongin walk home by himself. He comes home late and Jongin can’t recall a meal they share together for those four years of their young lives. He doesn’t hate Kai, he’s his twin brother. He accepts Kai, even when the older twin completely ignores him in the halls and brushes past him.
Jongin is an odd dot of paint on a slab of cement.
Jongin, Kai & Baekhyun all go to the same university.
Jongin and Kai’s parents wanted the twins to go together because they were worried about Jongin being completely alone and being bullied. Jongin has always liked boys and when he confessed this to Baekhyun it had spread like wild fire. He’d becomes very noticeable and outcasted by everyone. Including Kai. Jongin catches the aggravated eye roll his older brother gives before agreeing. When he goes to his room Kai follows and jabs his finger in to Jongin’s chest.
“We go to the school I want, and I’m going to cut my hair so I don’t look like you. We are not going to room together and I don’t want you to embarrass me. Understand?”
Jongin accepts the terms. He accepts everything in his life.
Baekhyun tags along to the same school with a grin, “Who am I going to copy off of in class silly? Can’t go anywhere without my Jongy~”
Jongin tries to smile.
___
College is a bit more pleasant than before. It’s bigger and being walked over is not intentional by everyone. There are just so many people. And Jongin feels like he chooses now to be invisible.
Chanyeol pops into his life like a burning comet. With a booming laugh and excited eyes that have a certain spark to them that Jongin has never seen before. He’s attracted to the tall sophomore immediately. They have Introduction to Music together, its in a lecture hall and they sit in the far back.
Chanyeol notices Jongin, thinks he’s cute and lets him know so immediately.
“And to think I got lucky on the first day to sit next to someone this good looking.”
Jongin smiles. And blushes. And feels his heart stutter.
Chanyeol wastes no time in taking Jongin out for some coffee, stealing his first kiss in Jongin’s dorm room, telling Jongin he loves him and wants to be with him forever. Jongin wants to accept this boy and embraces their relationship eagerly. Finally, he thinks, someone who wants me for me.
Chanyeol is a comet that burns through his life and leaves a lot of damage behind.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin takes his first sip of alcohol, “It’s called jungle juice sweetheart, try it.” and Jongin does.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin takes a drag of his first cigarette, “Try it sweetheart.” and Jongin does.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin loses his virginity. It’s scary and Jongin can’t stop trembling while Chanyeol seems calm about it all. Chanyeol comes on Jongin’s stomach with a grunt of his name and Jongin feels like he can peel away from the concrete slab a little.
Sweetheart is Chanyeol’s nickname for Jongin, he calls him all the time. When they sleep together, when he’s drunk and cursing, when he’s telling Jongin to do things Jongin is not sure he wants to do.
“Just take this pill sweetheart, you’ll feel awesome.”
“Let’s just go to one more party, come on sweetheart.”
“Just lend me $200 for my books huh sweetheart?”
Baekhyun tells Jongin that Chanyeol is hot and that he’s caught a great fish. So Jongin accepts Chanyeol for the way he is. The fact that he yells at Jongin when he’s drunk, that he flirts with girls in front of Jongin, that he tells Jongin he’s annoying and needs to ‘grow a personality’.
He wonders if he should break up with Chanyeol for a long time. But Baekhyun tells him Chanyeol is too damn sexy to let go. Jongin can’t help but let Chanyeol be the center of his universe. Chanyeol is the sun and Jongin revolves around him desperate for his attention and love. Too many nights pass by that he cries because of Chanyeol and his harsh words. Too many nights go by that he sits and waits up for Chanyeol to call after going to a party.
But Jongin accepts it. He accepts everything for fear that he will have nothing.
He dares to ask Kai what he thinks of Chanyeol one day when they’re both home for vacation.
“He’s a druggie, parties hard as fuck and fucks a lot of girls. Why?”
Jongin does not want to believe that. He loves Chanyeol.
___
Jongin catches Chanyeol in bed with someone. He’d come back from vacation early just to see Chanyeol, greet him and try to talk to him about their relationship. Their stale and rocky relationship that left Jongin feeling held down but single at the same time.
He opens the door with a smile and feels his heart fall.
Baekhyun gasps and shoves Chanyeol off. Chanyeol curses and covers himself with a sheet and runs after Jongin who feels his vision blur with tears.
“Sweetheart it’s not like that, look it’s not that it’s just we don’t do anything anymore and honestly I’ve been thinking for a long time and I’ve found someone new. I think you deserve someone new too right? Sweetheart?”
Jongin has always had to accept things.
He doesn’t have time to cry. He has to get up the next day and go to class.
Baekhyun sits next to him and says he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean anything by it. Says they shouldn’t let their friendship be ruined by a boy getting in between them.
Without Baekhyun, Jongin would be completely alone. He always has to accept things.
___
And then finally Kyungsoo comes in to his life. They meet at a house party.
Or rather, Jongin sees Kyungsoo and watches rather than them meeting. Baekhyun had dragged him out to a party because he didn’t want to go alone and Jongin accepts. The house is cramped and loud. There are stacks of beer all over the place and people squished together as they rock to the beat of the music. The minute they arrive he’s left alone, Baekhyun sees a few friends from class and runs off.
And then he hears it.
“Get the fuck off of me you shit head before I rip your cock off and feed it to my chihuahua!”
Jongin looks sharply to the left and sees a confrontation between two boys going on. One is plainly drunk with a big build and greasy hair. The other is small and petite. He’s dressed in all black. His leather jeans are so tight and shiny and his spiked necklace shows off his porcelain skin. He’s so small and yet so tough.
They meet again in his class.
“I transferred to your class, here.” Kyungsoo huffs and tosses a piece of paper on to the professor’s desk before climbing up the lecture hall’s steps to find a seat. His black lined eyes scan the area in the back immediately. Jongin feels his skin turn cold and his heart gives a violent jolt when Kyungsoo slides into the seat next to him.
Seeing Kyungsoo up close is intimidating. His hair is as black as a raven’s and his skin is like a China doll’s. His pink lips have snake bite piercings and there’s smoky eyeliner on his top lid and Jongin can’t stop staring at the black looped plugs running through his ears. Kyungsoo is a site to see. He’s a black leathered doll with a snarky attitude and he doesn’t take shit from anybody.
And he ends up being the person to scrape Jongin right off the concrete. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t warn. He just gets his claws into Jongin and pries him away. It feels effortless, like Kyungsoo didn’t really have to try and like Jongin had been waiting his whole life for a person like this.
___
“You’re a pushover aren’t you?” are Kyungsoo’s first words to Jongin.
Jongin’s eyes widen and he can’t speak. He’d never thought of himself like that before.
Kyungsoo end up being in three of Jongin’s classes. So he sees Kyungsoo every day of the week. Twice on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. It takes Kyungsoo only two days to realize they have all these classes together.
“Don’t think you can cheat off of me because I’m smart as hell, I’ve got standards.” the dangerous looking boy growls when they’re sitting in their Advanced Calculus class. Jongin stares at the other wide eyed and feels a little insulted. He would never cheat off of somebody.
Kyungsoo claims to be smart as hell but when they get their first exam back the paper does not lie. In all of their classes Jongin gets solid A’s and Kyungsoo gets C’s.
“You want to tutor me? I’ll pay you in beer.”
And for the first time in his entire life, Jongin doesn’t just accept.
“I don’t like beer.” he replies softly.
“Well then what do you want? You want cigs?”
“I don’t like cigarettes very much either.”
“But I’ve seen you at a lot of parties smoking like you want lung cancer.”
“You’ve seen me?”
“Well yeah you’re dating my ex.”
Jongin stares in confusion. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.
“The big gorilla who laughs like a hyena and fucks like a crippled dog all eager but with no skill. Tall motherfucker. I don’t like saying his name he makes me want to eat my own vomit.”
Jongin stares some more even though he’s clued in on who Kyungsoo is talking about. He just can’t believe this person, this boy with so much spunk and energy dated Chanyeol at one point in time.
“Was.” he admits sadly, “Was dating him.”
An empathic look crosses Kyungsoo’s features. “Yeah well, fuck him right? Let’s be like some fucked up chick flick and get revenge on him yeah?”
Jongin scowls. Kyungsoo laughs and assures the other he was just kidding.
___
Kyungsoo starts spending Friday evenings with Jongin to study math and English. He’s a quick learner and isn’t easily frustrated like Jongin thought he’d be. All around Kyungsoo is patient and open to life. He doesn’t worry about the little things but doesn’t let anyone think he’s easy.
___
“I’m throwing a party, wanna come?”
Jongin hesitates, he’d planned on having a scary movie night with himself. He’s weird like that.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Kyungsoo smiles and leans in close to Jongin. Coal rimmed eyes pierce and the rings hugging those plush lips make Jongin gulp.
“It’s okay to say no Jongin.”
“Then...no thanks.”
Kyungsoo hops up off of the bed they’d been studying on, “Alright then, see ya Monday!”
___
“Are you going to eat that?”
Jongin pouts at his lunch. It’s his favorite; A bacon cheeseburger and fries with a vanilla shake. He loves vanilla shakes, almost as much as he adores tomatoes. He’s weird and likes to pick out the tomatoes from his burger so he can eat them last. And right then Kyungsoo is pointing his black painted fingernail at the two slices of perfectly red tomatoes.
“You can have it.” he gives in.
“Don’t be such a bitch, are you going to or not?”
Jongin feels a spark ignite in him, “Yes I am.” he changes his mind, “So don’t touch my tomatoes…asswipe.”
Kyungsoo sends Jongin a glare but the hint of a smirk is stuck in the corner of his lips.
___
“So why did you and the gorilla break up anyways?”
Jongin feels ice prick his heart. He’d never really gotten a chance to deal with that. He’d just shoved it under everything and went on. He still sat next to Baekhyun in certain classes and had to listen to stories he didn’t care about. Baekhyun had technically apologized, but Jongin had never felt like he’d been apologetic in any way.
“He cheated on me.”
“Shit, with some random skank?”
“My best friend.”
Kyungsoo looks at Jongin for a long time. With clarity and understanding. And then he says something that makes Jongin feel ashamed of himself.
“Please tell me you didn’t just accept that slut back into your life.”
“Of course I did!”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“He’s my best friend!”
“Um last time I checked best friend’s don’t sleep with their best friend’s boyfriends.”
“He made a mistake.”
“He fucked up big time.”
“Friendship means you forgive.”
“Friendship is give and take. Both sides have to give and take, that’s what makes a friendship so great. Knowing you I’m sure you’ve given him a whole lot and he’s taken everything, and what has he given you?”
Jongin can’t breath. The truth is hurting and burning down through his mind. Through every nerve it touches and makes it scalding hot. He’s crying, whimpering like a small child. Kyungsoo has his arms around him.
“You gave him what?” Kyungsoo asks softly but firmly.
“Everything.”
“He gave you what?”
“Nothing.”
“And the gorilla?”
“Everything.”
“And he gave you?”
“...pain.”
Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s chin and looks him square in the eye. Coal rimmed eyes and porcelain skin makes Jongin gulp with anticipation.
“Don’t you think theres something wrong with that?”
Jongin doesn’t want to admit out loud that yes, yes there is something wrong with all of that. He spends the night crying in Kyungsoo’s arms, who pats his back with surprising care and mutters, “That’s right. Get it out. Let it all go.”
___
The next day its hard to wake up. His eyes are puffier than usual and his skin paler. All of the crying has drained him, and he still has the pain of realization thumping around in his head. Everyone uses him, walks over him. Jongin is a pushover. Jongin doesn’t want to be a pushover anymore.
He takes the day off, fuck classes for one day, he gathers his laundry and plans to go grab a vanilla shake and bacon cheeseburger for comfort’s sake.
It’s when he’s walking back to his dorm that he spots a familiar face heading his way. He sighs and lowers his head, ready to be ignored by Kai who is surrounded by a group of chatty friends. Jongin tries to keep his eyes on the concrete.
A hand grabs his shoulder and tugs him back.
Kai is staring at him carefully...is that worry?
“What?” Jongin snaps and pulls his shoulder away from his twin who makes this expression he can’t understand. Jongin glances around and sees that the group of friends are way ahead of Kai, he’d probably told them to go on ahead.
“Why do you look like shit?” Kai asks with his arms crossed over his chest. God the contrast between them. Kai is dressed in nice jeans and a casual patterned shirt. He’s wearing clean sneakers and his hair is dyed light brown, cut short and gelled back. The twin had done his best to not look like Jongin at all.
And Jongin looks like a hobo in gray sweats and a black long sleeved thermal. He hasn’t brushed his black hair and he threw on his sandals. Kai has always been better than him.
“Why do you care?” he retorts quietly. It’s unusual of him to answer like that. They both know it. Kai’s eyebrows fly up in surprise and Jongin tenses at his own tone.
“Who said I don’t care? You’re my brother Jongin. So are you okay or not?” Kai steps forward and Jongin steps back.
This anger he’s feeling. Maybe its because of his epiphany. He’s a pushover. Everyone walks all over him and doesn’t regard his feelings. It’s annoying how his own twin brother had the nerve to outcast him in high school, here at college too, and now on chance they run in to each other and he cares? How would Kyungsoo put it…
“Bullshit.” Jongin soffs, “You care? I’m your brother? You could’ve fooled me.” and he walks away with that. Leaves Kai standing there with his mouth hanging open.
___
“Where were you last class?!” Baek whines two days later in their Sociology. Jongin doesn’t particularly enjoy this class. The professor rants the whole hour and fifteen minutes about how he hates capitalism. No proper instruction whatsoever. “I was so lost without you Jongy~!” Baek pouts.
The irritation he’d felt when he’d seen Kai rises in his throat, pricks and draws blood. It angers him like no other.
It takes a few deep breaths to realize he’s pissed. Jongin is actually pissed.
Baekhyun waits till the class is over to grab Jongin by the elbow and drag him outside of the building and start ranting.
“Ya what’s wrong with you? If you’re going to miss class you should at least text me so I can skip too! We could’ve ditched together or something Jongy, don’t be inconsiderate!” Baek says it in a whiny voice, like he’s kidding but Jongin knows better.
How. Fucking. Annoying.
“Inconsiderate? You’re not preaching to me about this are you? Please tell me you’re not.” Jongin growls. He’s never realized how annoying Baekhyun looks. How he uses too much eyeliner and wears glittery everything to attract attention to himself. He’s such an attention seeking whore and it makes Jongin even more annoyed.
“The hell is your problem?” Baek scoffs.
His calm snaps. “My problem is you’re a fucking slut!” he screams. It gains attention, passing students glance at the pair of boys. And if Jongin had bothered to look up he would have noticed that Kai and Kyungsoo were watching.
Kai with two of his friends had stopped mid step and looked in surprise. Internally Kai battled with himself, if he should run over and support his twin or if he should keep walking.
Kyungsoo had been rolling by on his skateboard and caught sight of Jongin. He’d been ready to greet him but had caught wind of the situation quickly. He doesn’t hesitate and starts heading over.
“What did you say?!” Baekhyun yells back. Jongin’s screams and grabs Baekhyun by the collar of his shirt and is ready to thrash. But Kyungsoo is already there, dragging him away.
“I said you’re a fucking slut! You slept with my boyfriend you fucking slut! Slut! Slut!” Jongin screams so everyone can hear. He keeps screaming as Kyungsoo drags him away.
Baekhyun stands there with tears in his eyes before he realizes that everyone is watching him. Some of them are pitying, but a lot of them are judging. Baekhyun burst into a hurt cry and speed walks away.
When Kyungsoo has Jongin far away from the situation, back inside the building and into a nearby bathroom he cradles Jongin’s cheeks carefully. “Hey, hey, calm down. You okay?”
Jongin is not okay. He’s heartbroken. Because he keeps seeing that image. Of Chanyeol on top of Baekhyun. He keeps hearing the sounds they’d made before realizing he was there. He keeps seeing it and it’s so annoying and it hurts. Jongin slides down the bathroom wall in a heap of tears. He hates Baekhyun. He hates that gorilla. He hates everyone who’d ever walked over him. It hurts to be a pushover. Jongin doesn’t want to feel like this anymore.
“That was your best friend?” Kyungsoo squats down next to Jongin and asks gently. Jongin nods with a sniffle.
“That slut.” Kyungsoo scoffs. Jongin’s face cracks with a smile. “Well you showed him.”
They sit there quietly. When some poor kid walks in Kyungsoo growls a ‘Get the fuck out we’re having a moment you little shit’ and the kid skitters back so fast he almost falls backwards. Jongin snickers with his arms hugging himself.
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks, his hand casually combs through Jongin’s long hair.
“I will be.” he sighs and leans on to the dangerous looking boy who is not dangerous at all.
___
Kris comes in to his life like smoke. Easy and smooth, almost unnoticeable yet right there. It’s Jongin’s sophomore year and he’s eligible to take an advanced Calculus 3. He’s excited to take an upper level math course. The room is full of upperclassmen who are mature and quiet during the class time, who take notes correctly and who ask serious questions.
One of those upperclassmen is Kris. He’s suave. He’s tall. He’s confident.
He invites Jongin to join his study group. Jongin accepts because he wants to, he could always use extra help.
The study group consist of other upperclassmen who are serious about their work and Jongin appreciates being accepted into their little room in the library.
“Not bad for a sophomore.” one senior Joonmyun compliments him after solving a complex equation and teaching the others how to do it.
Kris advances not so subtly, with sweet compliments and offers of coffee dates after their study time. Jongin tries to keep his distance. He’s not ready to jump in to a relationship after his tragic last one.
He shares this information with Kris mid semester after they’ve grown closer. After the amount of time they’ve spent together throughout the weeks Jongin decides Kris is trustworthy enough and invites him over to his room. The upperclassmen is careful and Jongin appreciates that.
“Some dick cheated on you? Wow.” Kris whistles, “Well he obviously didn’t know what he had.” he adds on. Jongin blushes.
Jongin tries to go slow, but things end up happening extremely fast. Being in a relationship with Kris is exciting. Jongin isn’t always sure of himself when he’s around Kris, but the older boy assures Jongin he’s doing it right.
Kris doesn’t wait long into their relationship to ask if they can have sex. Jongin quietly nods his head because he appreciates how considerate Kris is of him. The sex is slow and Jongin actually feels pleasure, reaches his orgasm first and feels starry eyed.
Kris is controlling in a sense. He’s very protective and obsessive. It takes a few months for Jongin to notice how the upperclassmen doesn’t like when the sophomore hangs out with Kyungsoo, he doesn’t like the thought of Jongin going to parties, he requests Jongin stop going to the study group with their classmates.
Kris doesn’t like Jongin wearing certain things and buys him clothes so they can match. Kris doesn’t like Jongin’s hair cut and takes him to a barber shop so his hair is the darker version of the blonde’s. He takes over every aspect of Jongin’s life slowly but surely.
One day Jongin looks in the mirror and almost doesn’t recognize himself. But its for Kris, who loves him and cares about him. He had tried to go slow but it had all happened so fast.
___
“You’re starting to look like a douchebag.” Kyungsoo glares. They’re supposed to go to a small party being thrown off campus.
Jongin pouts, “Why?”
“You’re wearing sunglasses.”
“So?”
“It is eleven o’clock at night Jongin. What are you shielding your eyes from?”
Jongin stands firm, “Kris bought me these.” he says while touching the silver rimmed Ray Ban’s. Kyungsoo rolls his silver rimmed eyes.
“Of course he did.” the other mutters, “Does he know you’re going to a party?”
Jongin nibbles on his bottom lip, “Not exactly. I told him me and you were hanging out.”
Kyungsoo stares for a minute before barking out a laugh, “I’m surprised he even let you hang out with me. It’s been what, two weeks since I’ve seen you?”
“He just likes spending time with me a lot.” Jongin defends.
“He likes controlling you a lot.” Kyungsoo corrects. They drop the subject and get ready to head out. Jongin stuffs his wallet and cellphone into his jean pockets and grabs money for a cab just in case. Before they go his phone rings and Jongin stares at the screen in surprise. Kai is calling. Jongin takes the call in his bathroom quickly, thinking its an emergency.
“What are you doing tonight?” Kai asks slowly. Jongin’s brow scrunches.
“Why?” he asks honestly.
“So...so maybe we can hang out…” Kai admits in a hushed voice. Jongin thinks for a second that he should hang up. This is ridiculous. The last time he’d actually had a conversation with his twin was three months before. And that had been because their mother had sent them a joint care package and the twins had to meet up to sort out what was for who. But before he can hang up Kai says loudly, “I just...I’m sorry and I want to try and make up for lost time. If you don’t want to I get it. I just thought...you party a lot and so do I. I don’t know its something we have in common sort of and I thought maybe we could...I’m sorry Jongin. I fucked up...Jongin?”
Jongin swallows. “Me and my friend are going to a party tonight. We’re leaving from my room in fifteen minutes. Be here or we’re going without you.” he says shortly and ends the call.
He tells Kyungsoo his brother is coming. To which the leather clad boy gasps, “You have a brother? Here?”
“Twin.” Jongin clarifies. Kyungsoo makes this horrified face like his whole life has been a lie.
They both take turns actually using the bathroom before getting ready to head out. If anything they’ll run in to Kai on the way, Jongin thinks. They’re heading out the door, walking down the hallway when someone yells Jongin’s name.
It’s Kris. He’s pissed and storms over, grabs Jongin by the elbow and tugs him close. “Where are you going? You told me you were just hanging out!”
Kyungsoo jumps between them and shoves Kris back, “Watch how you touch him.” he warns.
“This is none of your business.” Kris sneers down at the little punk. Neither of them step down and Jongin has to wiggle his way in between them.
“Um, Kyungsoo its okay. I’m going to talk to Kris for a bit.” he explains quickly. He doesn’t enjoy the way his friend looks hurt and walks away with a rushed ‘whatever’. Turning to face his boyfriend is terrifying. Kris glares down at him and waits till Kyungsoo is completely out of sight before grabbing Jongin by his arm and pushing him on to the wall. Jongin cries out in surprise. Kris has never treated him like that. He’s always been gentle. He’s always gentle and kind.
“I didn’t say you could go to a party tonight did I?” Kris growls deep. Jongin shakes his head quietly. No, Kris hadn’t given him permission.
“How can I watch over you if you go with out me huh? And with that weird little goth? You know I hate it when you’re with other people. Jesus Jongin you don’t fucking listen!” Kris yells, “I’m in love with you and you just treat me like you don’t care!”
Jongin is already trembling, already close to tears, “Kris I care, don’t say that!” he begs.
“You don’t act like it!” Kris shakes Jongin’s shoulders, shakes him so violently it makes Jongin’s whimper. He grabs Jongin’s chin harshly, “You’re mine. You understand?”
Jongin bites his lip. Kris is supposed to be kind and gentle. He takes care of Jongin. Why was he acting like this?
Kris’ palm slaps Jongin, crisp across the face, “Answer me!” Another slap. And another. Jongin is crying and trying to block himself. Kris is supposed to be gentle and kind.
“Hey!” Someone screams. The couple looks up in surprise. Kai charges, face contorted with rage as he leaps and tackles Kris to the ground. Fists fly and the bodies roll around. But Kai ends up on top, punching while screaming, “Keep your fucking hands to yourself you piece of shit! That’s my little brother you fucking asshole!”
Eventually Kris kicks Kai off and backs away. Anger on his face as he breathes deeply, “This is not over. He’s mine!”
“Don’t come near him again unless you want to die!” Kai screams back.
The twins are silent when Kris leaves finally. And Kai stares down at his brother who is shaking like a scared puppy. Guilt is eating him up inside. He attempts to touch Jongin, just a hand to a shoulder, but his brother jumps away with a fearful cry.
“Don’t! Don’t!” Jongin begs, crawling away, “You don’t care. Don’t!” it hurts Kai, how broken his brother sounds. How desperate he is to get away from him. “You can’t choose to fucking care now! I hate you!” Jongin sobs.
And Kai tries. He does. He sits down next to Jongin, Jongin scoots away. He tries to get him inside his room, Jongin swats his hands away. He tries to sit there with him, but Jongin won’t have it. Won’t have him.
“Could you go away please? Could you do one thing I ask you? Everyone always does what you want, I came to this fucking school because you wanted to. I was fucking alone all of high school because you didn’t want me near you. I’ve been living my fucking life quiet and alone because you wanted everything. Leave me alone. Go away. Don’t pretend like you care. Can’t you do what I want just one time?” Jongin ends up screaming at the top of his lungs.
Kai does as he’s told. Because he doesn’t want to hurt Jongin anymore. And even if he’d realized later in life how important it was to take care of Jongin, it was exactly that. Late. He was too late. So he stands up and leaves his sobbing twin in the hallway alone, walks home with his head hung low and guilt heavy in his chest.
___
Jongin sits far away from Kris in his calculus class. He doesn’t make eye contact, he never glances over, and he stares straight ahead at the teacher without fail. And when the class is dismissed he tries to be packed up and out the door especially fast.
One week goes by like that. Of Jongin avoiding Kris’ stare and running out of the classroom at top speed. One week of Kyungsoo not coming around or attempting to contact him at all. One week of Kai texting him too much. One week of Kris calling him ten times every hour and leaving several threatening text messages on his phone.
Jongin looks in the mirror and he does not recognize himself. He doesn’t like his hair in this style, he doesn’t like the clothes he’s wearing, he hates these fucking sunglasses. He thinks of how Kris had taken over in every way. How he’d been controlled. How he’d changed his clothes, his hair, his face to be what Kris wanted him to be.
Kris didn’t like being with Jongin, no, he liked controlling Jongin.
Jongin had become a pushover once again. And he was so annoyed with himself. With Kris. With Kyungsoo who wouldn’t take his calls.
___
“You’re not going to push me out.” Jongin declares.
He’d made the trip to Kyungsoo’s apartment. He stays off campus with another boy named Minseok.Jongin had walked all the way across campus, banged on the door, and been met with a sleepy eyed Kyungsoo.
“You do realize its four in the morning right?” there’s eyeliner smudged around Kyungsoo’s eyes and he’s in nothing but his boxers.
Jongin huffs, “I don’t care. You’re ignoring me. You’re pushing me away.”
“You’re with a psycho and you stopped hanging out with me when you started dating him anyways. I tried to stand up for you, you told me to fuck off.”
“I never said that.”
“You might as well have.”
Jongin sighs because Kyungsoo was right. His friend had stood up for him, tried to stop the abuse before it happened, and Jongin had told him it was okay, that he would talk to Kris anyways. Making Kyungsoo’s protection, his presence, irrelevant. It was a big ‘fuck you’.
“I’m sorry.” Jongin pouts, “I don’t want you to push me away, I want to be your friend.” he mutters while kicking his feet on the floor.
He looks up in time to see Kyungsoo rolling his eyes and walking inside, leaving the door open. Jongin waits a moment and takes it as an invitation to come inside. Kyungsoo’s apartment is bare, no excessive furniture and everything is on the ground. There’s a pile of magazines on the ground next to the television sitting on the ground, there is no sofa but instead a pile of pillows. There is one small kitchen corner, two bedrooms and one bathroom in between them.
Jongin walks in to Kyungsoo’s room to find the boy laying in his bed, the mattress is on the floor of course, spread out still in only his boxers. He timidly goes inside and sits on the floor closest to his friend’s face.
Kyungsoo sighs, “What happened when I left?” he dares to ask.
Jongin gulps, “He yelled at me.”
“Figures.”
“And called you a little goth.”
“Bastard.”
“And hit me.”
Kyungsoo springs up in bed, eyes wide with shock and anger, “I’ll fucking kill him.”
“My brother already threatened to do that. He came out of nowhere and beat Kris up, chased him away and told him if he came near me again he’d kill him.” Jongin explains.
Kyungsoo’s anger falls and he relaxes, “Good. So now what?”
Jongin pouts, “I’m not with him anymore. I’m avoiding him. And…” he trails off and frowns at his knees that are tucked under his chin. “I really thought he was the one. How did I end up picking two bad people in a row? And I tried to call you the next day and you didn’t answer and I needed you. Please don’t be mad at me anymore?” he wants to cry but holds it in. He’s tired of crying for other people who just run him over.
Kyungsoo pats the empty space on his bed and Jongin crawls on, thinking to kick his shoes off before getting under the covers. His friend wraps him in his arms and closes his eyes.
“Soo?” he calls, “Are we still friends?” he checks with hope. Kyungsoo’s lips twitch into a smile and he squeeze the younger tight.
“I’m not pushing you away am I?”
“No.”
“Then shut the fuck and sleep. It’s four in the morning you little shit.”
Jongin smiles and closes his eyes, snuggling close and taking a deep breath of relief. He falls asleep all at once, not realizing just how tired he’d been.
Kyungsoo whispers under his breath when he’s sure Jongin is asleep, “I was never mad you cute shit. I was scared.”
___
Jongin loves Halloween, he’s always loved it. He remembers it being one of the only holidays he enjoyed with his brother. They’d dress up in whatever costume and ran around the neighborhood together giggling and screaming at the older kids who scared them. And at each house they’d get a piece of candy. There was no competition, they were both going to get a piece of candy of equal value. After it was all over they’d both spend the night sleeping in the living room with their piles of goodies while watching whatever scary movie was on.
So when the leaves start falling, when the pumpkin paintings start popping up all over campus, and finally when Kris backs off and leaves Jongin alone, he feels a great excitement in the air.
“I want to be Laura Croft.” Kyungsoo grins. Jongin stares in confusion. His best friend cackles and spins around. They’re in Kyungsoo’s apartment, Minseok sits on the mattress next to Jongin with the same blank stare. “Look watch.” he holds up a finger and begins stripping.
A few minutes later Kyungsoo has on his black gym shorts which he’s rolled up to be booty shorts, and a gray tank top tied to make a bra shape in front. Jongin’s mouth goes dry.
“Okay no. Never.” Minseok immediately shakes his head. Jongin snickers because Kyungsoo looks flabbergasted and pops his hip out. “Stop it diva rolls your shorts back down.”
Kyungsoo does not roll his shorts down and does a little bit of dancing and playful seduction to the others in the room before he finally puts his pants back on and plops down next to Jongin with a sad face. “We should do a couple costume Jongin, you want to?” he blinks his eyes cutely and Jongin laughs loudly.
“Why me? Do it with Minseok!” Jongin points at the older student. Minseok shakes his head quickly, making an excuse to leave because he has laundry in.
“You’re my only hope! Please~” his best friend pouts and makes this puppy noise that causes Jongin to laugh harder. He’s attacked, Kyungsoo growls and jumps on top of him, tickling the younger until they’re in a heap of sheats and laughing like lunatics.
“Okay fine! Stop stop don’t!” Jongin begs when Kyungsoo’s fingers get under his shirt and tickles his sides. “Okay fine!” he laughs as he catches his breath. His best friend grins with triumph and stands up, offering his hand.
“Great, because I have an amazing idea and you better comply.”
___
It’s Halloween Eve and Jongin stares in the mirror with a complex feeling.
On one hand he’s scared shitless. This is not what he had in mind. But he’d accepted it. And not because he had to, no. He accepted it because he wanted to. He knew Kyungsoo would never make him do anything he didn’t want to. So one hand he feels a little subconscious about the whole outfit, or lack there of, but on the other hand…
Jongin feels sexy. He is feeling himself and liking how seductive he looks. With a twirl he sees his backside and smirks at himself, shaking his butt a little with glee.
A series of loud knocks makes him jump, “Come on puppy your costume isn’t even complicated! Let’s go!” Kyungsoo yells. Jongin sighs and does one more once over and finally opens the door.
Kyungsoo whistles with delight and motions for Jongin to spin around, he does so and laughs as his best friend claps, “Perfect perfect yeah I’d definitely skin you alive for my fur coat. Love it. I’m a genius.”
Their theme is 101 Dalmatians. Kyungsoo is the male Cruella De Vil. His hair is painted half white with hair chalk, he sports a sleek black vest and tie over a long white fitted dress shirt. With red gloves, a studded black belt, polished dress shoes, black slacks and a pompous fluffy white fur coat Kyungsoo is in character. He pretends to take a drag from his long red cigarette holder he’d bought online and smiles. Jongin applauds him.
Jongin is the dalmation. But he is what Kyungsoo calls a ‘slutty puppy’. He wears only a black speedo, a bright red collar with a leash, and a dalmatian printed fur coat. Oh and he can’t forget his ears. Kyungsoo had found them in a kid store. They were obviously meant for little girls, with cute little dotted ears and a red ribbon in the center. But according to Kyungsoo, Jongin makes them look downright sinful.
With a fake growl Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s leash and tugs, “Come on slut puppy, lets blow this joint! We are so winning the couple costume award!”
There’s a big party on campus being thrown by the student government. A ton of the student body shows up and Jongin hugs the jacket tight around himself, becoming a little self conscious. He’s never done something so outlandish. But as soon as he looks over, his best friend winks at him and Jongin feels a bit better.
The party is located in the student center. Party lights sparkle across the walls as people dance and just overall have a good time. Jongin lets go of his uncomfortable feeling and has fun dancing with Kyungsoo, smiling so much his cheeks hurt. They share a caramel apple, they drink punch from silly straws and when a magician comes around and throws glitter on Jongin, he laughs with delight and rubs himself all over a giggling Kyungsoo.
The after party is off campus at a nearby sorority. They take shots together and dance dirty together. Jongin is feeling himself, he likes the way he looks and the way he feels as he rubs his ass against Kyungsoo’s crotch. House music bumps and thumps and makes it feel like his body is vibrating. Jongin can't remember the last time he’d had this much fun at a party.
When his best friend offers to go get Jongin a bottle of water and leaves for a quick second is when Jongin walks in to danger.
“Jongin?” a loud booming voice rings in his ears. He slowly turns around and stares at the gorilla he never wanted to see again. Sure he’s a little tipsy, but he wasn’t plastered.
Chanyeol is checking him out hardcore, hungry eyes on Jongin’s glittered bare torso and shaved tanned legs. Jongin backs up a little and his heart jumps in his chest when Chanyeol follows with a smile, “How are you? How are you doing?”
Jongin shrugs noncommittally and tries to walk away. But Chanyeol quickly grabs his wrist, “Hey. You look great.” he emphasizes with his eyes, “Can we talk for a second?”
He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk to Chanyeol. He wants to find Kyungsoo and get the hell out of here. Suddenly his costume is too bare and Jongin wants to hide in a corner. Chanyeol approaches, he gets closer and presses Jongin into a wall with dark eyes.
“I miss you,” the gorilla slurs, his large hand playing with the fur of Jongin’s coat, “I’m so sorry about what happened. I should've treated you better you know? Damn you look so good sweetheart.”
Jongin cringes at the nickname, craning his neck away as Chanyeol’s face nuzzles into his neck. His hands press against Chanyeol’s chest and push slightly, trying to give the other a hint that he doesn’t want this. But his ex continues on. Grabby hands slipping under Jongin’s coat and running up Jongin’s bare skin. He gasps and pushes harder, he yelps when Chanyeol’s finger flick his nipples.
And then the sensation is gone all together and Jongin wraps his coat around himself tightly. Shaking and glaring. Kyungsoo is there with his arm wrapped unforgivingly around Chanyeol’s neck. “You don’t know when to stop do you dumbass?”
When his ex starts coughing Kyungsoo releases him and steps beside Jongin, “You okay puppy?” he checks. Jongin nods and puts himself behind his Cruella De Vil.
“Fuck Kyungsoo, we were just talking!” Chanyeol massages his throat and shoots lasers at the pair. His life must be spinning out of control. Because both of his ex boyfriends are standing together and they look very...like they know each other very well. And its all confirmed when Kyungsoo wraps an arm around Jongin’s slim waist and leads him away. Well fuck.
___
When they get back to Kyungsoo’s apartment they collapse on to his bed in a fit of chuckles and hazy minds. It was a good night, they feel a little buzzed and everything is good.
“What a pig! Hands all over you! How annoying!” Kyungsoo hiccups at the end of his sentence and Jongin laughs into the pillow beside him. “Who you laughing at? You wanna get tickled puppy? Hm? C’mere!” he pounces. He does just as he said he would, he tickles a hysterical Jongin who hits Kyungsoo’s shoulder in complaint but ends up hugging the other to his chest.
They pause when they realize what a compromising position they’re in. Kyungsoo is settled in between Jongin’s legs, Jongin’s coat has fallen open completely and if Mr. De Vil is honest with himself the puppy beneath him looks delicious. The glitter gleams as Jongin shifts and reminds the man on top of him he’s only in a tight black speedo and nothing else. And Kyungsoo knows if this was anyone else laying under him looking delicious and willing he would have dipped down and tasted every inch of that body and gotten his satisfaction.
But it’s Jongin. So he gets off with a laugh, digs through his drawers, and hands his best friend a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt to sleep in. They both change and snuggle in bed together, happy with how the night had went.
___
Chanyeol starts popping up everywhere. And it’s annoying. Jongin shoos him away but can’t seem to escape him.
You really changed after we broke up.
Let’s just try one more time.
I miss you sweetheart.
Give me a chance sweetheart, I never stopped loving you.
You know you want me back.
Jongin doesn’t tell Kyungsoo about all the times Chanyeol has followed him home and tried to get inside. He’s not sure why he doesn’t tell his best friend. But thinking about how Kyungsoo would handle it makes Jongin nervous.
___
Part 2
One-Shot
Pairing: KaiSoo, ChanKai, KrisKai, BaekYeol and XiuHan if you blink really hard.
Rating: mmmmm R I guess.
Summary: Jongin has always had to accept things. Just things in general.
_________________________________________________
Jongin has always had to accept things.
Just things in general. Everything in his life, he has accepted.
Jongin has always accepted the way people treat him, how they pass over him as if he is speck of misplaced paint on a slab of concrete. He is stuck to stay. They see him but do nothing but either step on him or move along.
Jongin has always had to accept his life for what it is. From everyone. His friends, his boyfriend, his parents and even his twin.
Kai has always taken what he wants. Jongin can clearly remember being six and wanting the red scooter. His mother had bought two scooters, blue and red. Jongin liked red, it was bright and vibrant. It reminded him of tomatoes and he loved tomatoes. But Kai wanted red too, began to whine when Jongin reached for the red scooter. Their mother gave Kai what he wanted, only because Jongin didn’t protest.
Jongin doesn’t know how it happens and he can’t figure out how he became this way, but as he grows older he just starts to accept what everyone does to him.
Baekhyun becomes his best friend through default. They are seated next to each other through elementary and Baekhyun carts Jongin around like a handbag in middle school. Jongin accepts this friendship. The friendship where Baekhyun cheats on homework through him, uses all of Jongin’s electronics without asking, tells Jongin what to do all the time because this is all Jongin knows.
And really without Baekhyun, Jongin wouldn’t have any friends.
In high school Kai soars above the rest. He’s popular beyond belief. He plays on basketball and football, he does some track on the side and dates girls who are on the top of the food chain. Jongin spends a lot of time in the safety of the library staring at a senior boy with midnight black hair and a sweet smile. After a week of their freshman year Kai starts staying after school and lets Jongin walk home by himself. He comes home late and Jongin can’t recall a meal they share together for those four years of their young lives. He doesn’t hate Kai, he’s his twin brother. He accepts Kai, even when the older twin completely ignores him in the halls and brushes past him.
Jongin is an odd dot of paint on a slab of cement.
Jongin, Kai & Baekhyun all go to the same university.
Jongin and Kai’s parents wanted the twins to go together because they were worried about Jongin being completely alone and being bullied. Jongin has always liked boys and when he confessed this to Baekhyun it had spread like wild fire. He’d becomes very noticeable and outcasted by everyone. Including Kai. Jongin catches the aggravated eye roll his older brother gives before agreeing. When he goes to his room Kai follows and jabs his finger in to Jongin’s chest.
“We go to the school I want, and I’m going to cut my hair so I don’t look like you. We are not going to room together and I don’t want you to embarrass me. Understand?”
Jongin accepts the terms. He accepts everything in his life.
Baekhyun tags along to the same school with a grin, “Who am I going to copy off of in class silly? Can’t go anywhere without my Jongy~”
Jongin tries to smile.
___
College is a bit more pleasant than before. It’s bigger and being walked over is not intentional by everyone. There are just so many people. And Jongin feels like he chooses now to be invisible.
Chanyeol pops into his life like a burning comet. With a booming laugh and excited eyes that have a certain spark to them that Jongin has never seen before. He’s attracted to the tall sophomore immediately. They have Introduction to Music together, its in a lecture hall and they sit in the far back.
Chanyeol notices Jongin, thinks he’s cute and lets him know so immediately.
“And to think I got lucky on the first day to sit next to someone this good looking.”
Jongin smiles. And blushes. And feels his heart stutter.
Chanyeol wastes no time in taking Jongin out for some coffee, stealing his first kiss in Jongin’s dorm room, telling Jongin he loves him and wants to be with him forever. Jongin wants to accept this boy and embraces their relationship eagerly. Finally, he thinks, someone who wants me for me.
Chanyeol is a comet that burns through his life and leaves a lot of damage behind.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin takes his first sip of alcohol, “It’s called jungle juice sweetheart, try it.” and Jongin does.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin takes a drag of his first cigarette, “Try it sweetheart.” and Jongin does.
It’s with Chanyeol that Jongin loses his virginity. It’s scary and Jongin can’t stop trembling while Chanyeol seems calm about it all. Chanyeol comes on Jongin’s stomach with a grunt of his name and Jongin feels like he can peel away from the concrete slab a little.
Sweetheart is Chanyeol’s nickname for Jongin, he calls him all the time. When they sleep together, when he’s drunk and cursing, when he’s telling Jongin to do things Jongin is not sure he wants to do.
“Just take this pill sweetheart, you’ll feel awesome.”
“Let’s just go to one more party, come on sweetheart.”
“Just lend me $200 for my books huh sweetheart?”
Baekhyun tells Jongin that Chanyeol is hot and that he’s caught a great fish. So Jongin accepts Chanyeol for the way he is. The fact that he yells at Jongin when he’s drunk, that he flirts with girls in front of Jongin, that he tells Jongin he’s annoying and needs to ‘grow a personality’.
He wonders if he should break up with Chanyeol for a long time. But Baekhyun tells him Chanyeol is too damn sexy to let go. Jongin can’t help but let Chanyeol be the center of his universe. Chanyeol is the sun and Jongin revolves around him desperate for his attention and love. Too many nights pass by that he cries because of Chanyeol and his harsh words. Too many nights go by that he sits and waits up for Chanyeol to call after going to a party.
But Jongin accepts it. He accepts everything for fear that he will have nothing.
He dares to ask Kai what he thinks of Chanyeol one day when they’re both home for vacation.
“He’s a druggie, parties hard as fuck and fucks a lot of girls. Why?”
Jongin does not want to believe that. He loves Chanyeol.
___
Jongin catches Chanyeol in bed with someone. He’d come back from vacation early just to see Chanyeol, greet him and try to talk to him about their relationship. Their stale and rocky relationship that left Jongin feeling held down but single at the same time.
He opens the door with a smile and feels his heart fall.
Baekhyun gasps and shoves Chanyeol off. Chanyeol curses and covers himself with a sheet and runs after Jongin who feels his vision blur with tears.
“Sweetheart it’s not like that, look it’s not that it’s just we don’t do anything anymore and honestly I’ve been thinking for a long time and I’ve found someone new. I think you deserve someone new too right? Sweetheart?”
Jongin has always had to accept things.
He doesn’t have time to cry. He has to get up the next day and go to class.
Baekhyun sits next to him and says he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean anything by it. Says they shouldn’t let their friendship be ruined by a boy getting in between them.
Without Baekhyun, Jongin would be completely alone. He always has to accept things.
___
And then finally Kyungsoo comes in to his life. They meet at a house party.
Or rather, Jongin sees Kyungsoo and watches rather than them meeting. Baekhyun had dragged him out to a party because he didn’t want to go alone and Jongin accepts. The house is cramped and loud. There are stacks of beer all over the place and people squished together as they rock to the beat of the music. The minute they arrive he’s left alone, Baekhyun sees a few friends from class and runs off.
And then he hears it.
“Get the fuck off of me you shit head before I rip your cock off and feed it to my chihuahua!”
Jongin looks sharply to the left and sees a confrontation between two boys going on. One is plainly drunk with a big build and greasy hair. The other is small and petite. He’s dressed in all black. His leather jeans are so tight and shiny and his spiked necklace shows off his porcelain skin. He’s so small and yet so tough.
They meet again in his class.
“I transferred to your class, here.” Kyungsoo huffs and tosses a piece of paper on to the professor’s desk before climbing up the lecture hall’s steps to find a seat. His black lined eyes scan the area in the back immediately. Jongin feels his skin turn cold and his heart gives a violent jolt when Kyungsoo slides into the seat next to him.
Seeing Kyungsoo up close is intimidating. His hair is as black as a raven’s and his skin is like a China doll’s. His pink lips have snake bite piercings and there’s smoky eyeliner on his top lid and Jongin can’t stop staring at the black looped plugs running through his ears. Kyungsoo is a site to see. He’s a black leathered doll with a snarky attitude and he doesn’t take shit from anybody.
And he ends up being the person to scrape Jongin right off the concrete. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t warn. He just gets his claws into Jongin and pries him away. It feels effortless, like Kyungsoo didn’t really have to try and like Jongin had been waiting his whole life for a person like this.
___
“You’re a pushover aren’t you?” are Kyungsoo’s first words to Jongin.
Jongin’s eyes widen and he can’t speak. He’d never thought of himself like that before.
Kyungsoo end up being in three of Jongin’s classes. So he sees Kyungsoo every day of the week. Twice on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. It takes Kyungsoo only two days to realize they have all these classes together.
“Don’t think you can cheat off of me because I’m smart as hell, I’ve got standards.” the dangerous looking boy growls when they’re sitting in their Advanced Calculus class. Jongin stares at the other wide eyed and feels a little insulted. He would never cheat off of somebody.
Kyungsoo claims to be smart as hell but when they get their first exam back the paper does not lie. In all of their classes Jongin gets solid A’s and Kyungsoo gets C’s.
“You want to tutor me? I’ll pay you in beer.”
And for the first time in his entire life, Jongin doesn’t just accept.
“I don’t like beer.” he replies softly.
“Well then what do you want? You want cigs?”
“I don’t like cigarettes very much either.”
“But I’ve seen you at a lot of parties smoking like you want lung cancer.”
“You’ve seen me?”
“Well yeah you’re dating my ex.”
Jongin stares in confusion. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.
“The big gorilla who laughs like a hyena and fucks like a crippled dog all eager but with no skill. Tall motherfucker. I don’t like saying his name he makes me want to eat my own vomit.”
Jongin stares some more even though he’s clued in on who Kyungsoo is talking about. He just can’t believe this person, this boy with so much spunk and energy dated Chanyeol at one point in time.
“Was.” he admits sadly, “Was dating him.”
An empathic look crosses Kyungsoo’s features. “Yeah well, fuck him right? Let’s be like some fucked up chick flick and get revenge on him yeah?”
Jongin scowls. Kyungsoo laughs and assures the other he was just kidding.
___
Kyungsoo starts spending Friday evenings with Jongin to study math and English. He’s a quick learner and isn’t easily frustrated like Jongin thought he’d be. All around Kyungsoo is patient and open to life. He doesn’t worry about the little things but doesn’t let anyone think he’s easy.
___
“I’m throwing a party, wanna come?”
Jongin hesitates, he’d planned on having a scary movie night with himself. He’s weird like that.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Kyungsoo smiles and leans in close to Jongin. Coal rimmed eyes pierce and the rings hugging those plush lips make Jongin gulp.
“It’s okay to say no Jongin.”
“Then...no thanks.”
Kyungsoo hops up off of the bed they’d been studying on, “Alright then, see ya Monday!”
___
“Are you going to eat that?”
Jongin pouts at his lunch. It’s his favorite; A bacon cheeseburger and fries with a vanilla shake. He loves vanilla shakes, almost as much as he adores tomatoes. He’s weird and likes to pick out the tomatoes from his burger so he can eat them last. And right then Kyungsoo is pointing his black painted fingernail at the two slices of perfectly red tomatoes.
“You can have it.” he gives in.
“Don’t be such a bitch, are you going to or not?”
Jongin feels a spark ignite in him, “Yes I am.” he changes his mind, “So don’t touch my tomatoes…asswipe.”
Kyungsoo sends Jongin a glare but the hint of a smirk is stuck in the corner of his lips.
___
“So why did you and the gorilla break up anyways?”
Jongin feels ice prick his heart. He’d never really gotten a chance to deal with that. He’d just shoved it under everything and went on. He still sat next to Baekhyun in certain classes and had to listen to stories he didn’t care about. Baekhyun had technically apologized, but Jongin had never felt like he’d been apologetic in any way.
“He cheated on me.”
“Shit, with some random skank?”
“My best friend.”
Kyungsoo looks at Jongin for a long time. With clarity and understanding. And then he says something that makes Jongin feel ashamed of himself.
“Please tell me you didn’t just accept that slut back into your life.”
“Of course I did!”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“He’s my best friend!”
“Um last time I checked best friend’s don’t sleep with their best friend’s boyfriends.”
“He made a mistake.”
“He fucked up big time.”
“Friendship means you forgive.”
“Friendship is give and take. Both sides have to give and take, that’s what makes a friendship so great. Knowing you I’m sure you’ve given him a whole lot and he’s taken everything, and what has he given you?”
Jongin can’t breath. The truth is hurting and burning down through his mind. Through every nerve it touches and makes it scalding hot. He’s crying, whimpering like a small child. Kyungsoo has his arms around him.
“You gave him what?” Kyungsoo asks softly but firmly.
“Everything.”
“He gave you what?”
“Nothing.”
“And the gorilla?”
“Everything.”
“And he gave you?”
“...pain.”
Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s chin and looks him square in the eye. Coal rimmed eyes and porcelain skin makes Jongin gulp with anticipation.
“Don’t you think theres something wrong with that?”
Jongin doesn’t want to admit out loud that yes, yes there is something wrong with all of that. He spends the night crying in Kyungsoo’s arms, who pats his back with surprising care and mutters, “That’s right. Get it out. Let it all go.”
___
The next day its hard to wake up. His eyes are puffier than usual and his skin paler. All of the crying has drained him, and he still has the pain of realization thumping around in his head. Everyone uses him, walks over him. Jongin is a pushover. Jongin doesn’t want to be a pushover anymore.
He takes the day off, fuck classes for one day, he gathers his laundry and plans to go grab a vanilla shake and bacon cheeseburger for comfort’s sake.
It’s when he’s walking back to his dorm that he spots a familiar face heading his way. He sighs and lowers his head, ready to be ignored by Kai who is surrounded by a group of chatty friends. Jongin tries to keep his eyes on the concrete.
A hand grabs his shoulder and tugs him back.
Kai is staring at him carefully...is that worry?
“What?” Jongin snaps and pulls his shoulder away from his twin who makes this expression he can’t understand. Jongin glances around and sees that the group of friends are way ahead of Kai, he’d probably told them to go on ahead.
“Why do you look like shit?” Kai asks with his arms crossed over his chest. God the contrast between them. Kai is dressed in nice jeans and a casual patterned shirt. He’s wearing clean sneakers and his hair is dyed light brown, cut short and gelled back. The twin had done his best to not look like Jongin at all.
And Jongin looks like a hobo in gray sweats and a black long sleeved thermal. He hasn’t brushed his black hair and he threw on his sandals. Kai has always been better than him.
“Why do you care?” he retorts quietly. It’s unusual of him to answer like that. They both know it. Kai’s eyebrows fly up in surprise and Jongin tenses at his own tone.
“Who said I don’t care? You’re my brother Jongin. So are you okay or not?” Kai steps forward and Jongin steps back.
This anger he’s feeling. Maybe its because of his epiphany. He’s a pushover. Everyone walks all over him and doesn’t regard his feelings. It’s annoying how his own twin brother had the nerve to outcast him in high school, here at college too, and now on chance they run in to each other and he cares? How would Kyungsoo put it…
“Bullshit.” Jongin soffs, “You care? I’m your brother? You could’ve fooled me.” and he walks away with that. Leaves Kai standing there with his mouth hanging open.
___
“Where were you last class?!” Baek whines two days later in their Sociology. Jongin doesn’t particularly enjoy this class. The professor rants the whole hour and fifteen minutes about how he hates capitalism. No proper instruction whatsoever. “I was so lost without you Jongy~!” Baek pouts.
The irritation he’d felt when he’d seen Kai rises in his throat, pricks and draws blood. It angers him like no other.
It takes a few deep breaths to realize he’s pissed. Jongin is actually pissed.
Baekhyun waits till the class is over to grab Jongin by the elbow and drag him outside of the building and start ranting.
“Ya what’s wrong with you? If you’re going to miss class you should at least text me so I can skip too! We could’ve ditched together or something Jongy, don’t be inconsiderate!” Baek says it in a whiny voice, like he’s kidding but Jongin knows better.
How. Fucking. Annoying.
“Inconsiderate? You’re not preaching to me about this are you? Please tell me you’re not.” Jongin growls. He’s never realized how annoying Baekhyun looks. How he uses too much eyeliner and wears glittery everything to attract attention to himself. He’s such an attention seeking whore and it makes Jongin even more annoyed.
“The hell is your problem?” Baek scoffs.
His calm snaps. “My problem is you’re a fucking slut!” he screams. It gains attention, passing students glance at the pair of boys. And if Jongin had bothered to look up he would have noticed that Kai and Kyungsoo were watching.
Kai with two of his friends had stopped mid step and looked in surprise. Internally Kai battled with himself, if he should run over and support his twin or if he should keep walking.
Kyungsoo had been rolling by on his skateboard and caught sight of Jongin. He’d been ready to greet him but had caught wind of the situation quickly. He doesn’t hesitate and starts heading over.
“What did you say?!” Baekhyun yells back. Jongin’s screams and grabs Baekhyun by the collar of his shirt and is ready to thrash. But Kyungsoo is already there, dragging him away.
“I said you’re a fucking slut! You slept with my boyfriend you fucking slut! Slut! Slut!” Jongin screams so everyone can hear. He keeps screaming as Kyungsoo drags him away.
Baekhyun stands there with tears in his eyes before he realizes that everyone is watching him. Some of them are pitying, but a lot of them are judging. Baekhyun burst into a hurt cry and speed walks away.
When Kyungsoo has Jongin far away from the situation, back inside the building and into a nearby bathroom he cradles Jongin’s cheeks carefully. “Hey, hey, calm down. You okay?”
Jongin is not okay. He’s heartbroken. Because he keeps seeing that image. Of Chanyeol on top of Baekhyun. He keeps hearing the sounds they’d made before realizing he was there. He keeps seeing it and it’s so annoying and it hurts. Jongin slides down the bathroom wall in a heap of tears. He hates Baekhyun. He hates that gorilla. He hates everyone who’d ever walked over him. It hurts to be a pushover. Jongin doesn’t want to feel like this anymore.
“That was your best friend?” Kyungsoo squats down next to Jongin and asks gently. Jongin nods with a sniffle.
“That slut.” Kyungsoo scoffs. Jongin’s face cracks with a smile. “Well you showed him.”
They sit there quietly. When some poor kid walks in Kyungsoo growls a ‘Get the fuck out we’re having a moment you little shit’ and the kid skitters back so fast he almost falls backwards. Jongin snickers with his arms hugging himself.
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks, his hand casually combs through Jongin’s long hair.
“I will be.” he sighs and leans on to the dangerous looking boy who is not dangerous at all.
___
Kris comes in to his life like smoke. Easy and smooth, almost unnoticeable yet right there. It’s Jongin’s sophomore year and he’s eligible to take an advanced Calculus 3. He’s excited to take an upper level math course. The room is full of upperclassmen who are mature and quiet during the class time, who take notes correctly and who ask serious questions.
One of those upperclassmen is Kris. He’s suave. He’s tall. He’s confident.
He invites Jongin to join his study group. Jongin accepts because he wants to, he could always use extra help.
The study group consist of other upperclassmen who are serious about their work and Jongin appreciates being accepted into their little room in the library.
“Not bad for a sophomore.” one senior Joonmyun compliments him after solving a complex equation and teaching the others how to do it.
Kris advances not so subtly, with sweet compliments and offers of coffee dates after their study time. Jongin tries to keep his distance. He’s not ready to jump in to a relationship after his tragic last one.
He shares this information with Kris mid semester after they’ve grown closer. After the amount of time they’ve spent together throughout the weeks Jongin decides Kris is trustworthy enough and invites him over to his room. The upperclassmen is careful and Jongin appreciates that.
“Some dick cheated on you? Wow.” Kris whistles, “Well he obviously didn’t know what he had.” he adds on. Jongin blushes.
Jongin tries to go slow, but things end up happening extremely fast. Being in a relationship with Kris is exciting. Jongin isn’t always sure of himself when he’s around Kris, but the older boy assures Jongin he’s doing it right.
Kris doesn’t wait long into their relationship to ask if they can have sex. Jongin quietly nods his head because he appreciates how considerate Kris is of him. The sex is slow and Jongin actually feels pleasure, reaches his orgasm first and feels starry eyed.
Kris is controlling in a sense. He’s very protective and obsessive. It takes a few months for Jongin to notice how the upperclassmen doesn’t like when the sophomore hangs out with Kyungsoo, he doesn’t like the thought of Jongin going to parties, he requests Jongin stop going to the study group with their classmates.
Kris doesn’t like Jongin wearing certain things and buys him clothes so they can match. Kris doesn’t like Jongin’s hair cut and takes him to a barber shop so his hair is the darker version of the blonde’s. He takes over every aspect of Jongin’s life slowly but surely.
One day Jongin looks in the mirror and almost doesn’t recognize himself. But its for Kris, who loves him and cares about him. He had tried to go slow but it had all happened so fast.
___
“You’re starting to look like a douchebag.” Kyungsoo glares. They’re supposed to go to a small party being thrown off campus.
Jongin pouts, “Why?”
“You’re wearing sunglasses.”
“So?”
“It is eleven o’clock at night Jongin. What are you shielding your eyes from?”
Jongin stands firm, “Kris bought me these.” he says while touching the silver rimmed Ray Ban’s. Kyungsoo rolls his silver rimmed eyes.
“Of course he did.” the other mutters, “Does he know you’re going to a party?”
Jongin nibbles on his bottom lip, “Not exactly. I told him me and you were hanging out.”
Kyungsoo stares for a minute before barking out a laugh, “I’m surprised he even let you hang out with me. It’s been what, two weeks since I’ve seen you?”
“He just likes spending time with me a lot.” Jongin defends.
“He likes controlling you a lot.” Kyungsoo corrects. They drop the subject and get ready to head out. Jongin stuffs his wallet and cellphone into his jean pockets and grabs money for a cab just in case. Before they go his phone rings and Jongin stares at the screen in surprise. Kai is calling. Jongin takes the call in his bathroom quickly, thinking its an emergency.
“What are you doing tonight?” Kai asks slowly. Jongin’s brow scrunches.
“Why?” he asks honestly.
“So...so maybe we can hang out…” Kai admits in a hushed voice. Jongin thinks for a second that he should hang up. This is ridiculous. The last time he’d actually had a conversation with his twin was three months before. And that had been because their mother had sent them a joint care package and the twins had to meet up to sort out what was for who. But before he can hang up Kai says loudly, “I just...I’m sorry and I want to try and make up for lost time. If you don’t want to I get it. I just thought...you party a lot and so do I. I don’t know its something we have in common sort of and I thought maybe we could...I’m sorry Jongin. I fucked up...Jongin?”
Jongin swallows. “Me and my friend are going to a party tonight. We’re leaving from my room in fifteen minutes. Be here or we’re going without you.” he says shortly and ends the call.
He tells Kyungsoo his brother is coming. To which the leather clad boy gasps, “You have a brother? Here?”
“Twin.” Jongin clarifies. Kyungsoo makes this horrified face like his whole life has been a lie.
They both take turns actually using the bathroom before getting ready to head out. If anything they’ll run in to Kai on the way, Jongin thinks. They’re heading out the door, walking down the hallway when someone yells Jongin’s name.
It’s Kris. He’s pissed and storms over, grabs Jongin by the elbow and tugs him close. “Where are you going? You told me you were just hanging out!”
Kyungsoo jumps between them and shoves Kris back, “Watch how you touch him.” he warns.
“This is none of your business.” Kris sneers down at the little punk. Neither of them step down and Jongin has to wiggle his way in between them.
“Um, Kyungsoo its okay. I’m going to talk to Kris for a bit.” he explains quickly. He doesn’t enjoy the way his friend looks hurt and walks away with a rushed ‘whatever’. Turning to face his boyfriend is terrifying. Kris glares down at him and waits till Kyungsoo is completely out of sight before grabbing Jongin by his arm and pushing him on to the wall. Jongin cries out in surprise. Kris has never treated him like that. He’s always been gentle. He’s always gentle and kind.
“I didn’t say you could go to a party tonight did I?” Kris growls deep. Jongin shakes his head quietly. No, Kris hadn’t given him permission.
“How can I watch over you if you go with out me huh? And with that weird little goth? You know I hate it when you’re with other people. Jesus Jongin you don’t fucking listen!” Kris yells, “I’m in love with you and you just treat me like you don’t care!”
Jongin is already trembling, already close to tears, “Kris I care, don’t say that!” he begs.
“You don’t act like it!” Kris shakes Jongin’s shoulders, shakes him so violently it makes Jongin’s whimper. He grabs Jongin’s chin harshly, “You’re mine. You understand?”
Jongin bites his lip. Kris is supposed to be kind and gentle. He takes care of Jongin. Why was he acting like this?
Kris’ palm slaps Jongin, crisp across the face, “Answer me!” Another slap. And another. Jongin is crying and trying to block himself. Kris is supposed to be gentle and kind.
“Hey!” Someone screams. The couple looks up in surprise. Kai charges, face contorted with rage as he leaps and tackles Kris to the ground. Fists fly and the bodies roll around. But Kai ends up on top, punching while screaming, “Keep your fucking hands to yourself you piece of shit! That’s my little brother you fucking asshole!”
Eventually Kris kicks Kai off and backs away. Anger on his face as he breathes deeply, “This is not over. He’s mine!”
“Don’t come near him again unless you want to die!” Kai screams back.
The twins are silent when Kris leaves finally. And Kai stares down at his brother who is shaking like a scared puppy. Guilt is eating him up inside. He attempts to touch Jongin, just a hand to a shoulder, but his brother jumps away with a fearful cry.
“Don’t! Don’t!” Jongin begs, crawling away, “You don’t care. Don’t!” it hurts Kai, how broken his brother sounds. How desperate he is to get away from him. “You can’t choose to fucking care now! I hate you!” Jongin sobs.
And Kai tries. He does. He sits down next to Jongin, Jongin scoots away. He tries to get him inside his room, Jongin swats his hands away. He tries to sit there with him, but Jongin won’t have it. Won’t have him.
“Could you go away please? Could you do one thing I ask you? Everyone always does what you want, I came to this fucking school because you wanted to. I was fucking alone all of high school because you didn’t want me near you. I’ve been living my fucking life quiet and alone because you wanted everything. Leave me alone. Go away. Don’t pretend like you care. Can’t you do what I want just one time?” Jongin ends up screaming at the top of his lungs.
Kai does as he’s told. Because he doesn’t want to hurt Jongin anymore. And even if he’d realized later in life how important it was to take care of Jongin, it was exactly that. Late. He was too late. So he stands up and leaves his sobbing twin in the hallway alone, walks home with his head hung low and guilt heavy in his chest.
___
Jongin sits far away from Kris in his calculus class. He doesn’t make eye contact, he never glances over, and he stares straight ahead at the teacher without fail. And when the class is dismissed he tries to be packed up and out the door especially fast.
One week goes by like that. Of Jongin avoiding Kris’ stare and running out of the classroom at top speed. One week of Kyungsoo not coming around or attempting to contact him at all. One week of Kai texting him too much. One week of Kris calling him ten times every hour and leaving several threatening text messages on his phone.
Jongin looks in the mirror and he does not recognize himself. He doesn’t like his hair in this style, he doesn’t like the clothes he’s wearing, he hates these fucking sunglasses. He thinks of how Kris had taken over in every way. How he’d been controlled. How he’d changed his clothes, his hair, his face to be what Kris wanted him to be.
Kris didn’t like being with Jongin, no, he liked controlling Jongin.
Jongin had become a pushover once again. And he was so annoyed with himself. With Kris. With Kyungsoo who wouldn’t take his calls.
___
“You’re not going to push me out.” Jongin declares.
He’d made the trip to Kyungsoo’s apartment. He stays off campus with another boy named Minseok.Jongin had walked all the way across campus, banged on the door, and been met with a sleepy eyed Kyungsoo.
“You do realize its four in the morning right?” there’s eyeliner smudged around Kyungsoo’s eyes and he’s in nothing but his boxers.
Jongin huffs, “I don’t care. You’re ignoring me. You’re pushing me away.”
“You’re with a psycho and you stopped hanging out with me when you started dating him anyways. I tried to stand up for you, you told me to fuck off.”
“I never said that.”
“You might as well have.”
Jongin sighs because Kyungsoo was right. His friend had stood up for him, tried to stop the abuse before it happened, and Jongin had told him it was okay, that he would talk to Kris anyways. Making Kyungsoo’s protection, his presence, irrelevant. It was a big ‘fuck you’.
“I’m sorry.” Jongin pouts, “I don’t want you to push me away, I want to be your friend.” he mutters while kicking his feet on the floor.
He looks up in time to see Kyungsoo rolling his eyes and walking inside, leaving the door open. Jongin waits a moment and takes it as an invitation to come inside. Kyungsoo’s apartment is bare, no excessive furniture and everything is on the ground. There’s a pile of magazines on the ground next to the television sitting on the ground, there is no sofa but instead a pile of pillows. There is one small kitchen corner, two bedrooms and one bathroom in between them.
Jongin walks in to Kyungsoo’s room to find the boy laying in his bed, the mattress is on the floor of course, spread out still in only his boxers. He timidly goes inside and sits on the floor closest to his friend’s face.
Kyungsoo sighs, “What happened when I left?” he dares to ask.
Jongin gulps, “He yelled at me.”
“Figures.”
“And called you a little goth.”
“Bastard.”
“And hit me.”
Kyungsoo springs up in bed, eyes wide with shock and anger, “I’ll fucking kill him.”
“My brother already threatened to do that. He came out of nowhere and beat Kris up, chased him away and told him if he came near me again he’d kill him.” Jongin explains.
Kyungsoo’s anger falls and he relaxes, “Good. So now what?”
Jongin pouts, “I’m not with him anymore. I’m avoiding him. And…” he trails off and frowns at his knees that are tucked under his chin. “I really thought he was the one. How did I end up picking two bad people in a row? And I tried to call you the next day and you didn’t answer and I needed you. Please don’t be mad at me anymore?” he wants to cry but holds it in. He’s tired of crying for other people who just run him over.
Kyungsoo pats the empty space on his bed and Jongin crawls on, thinking to kick his shoes off before getting under the covers. His friend wraps him in his arms and closes his eyes.
“Soo?” he calls, “Are we still friends?” he checks with hope. Kyungsoo’s lips twitch into a smile and he squeeze the younger tight.
“I’m not pushing you away am I?”
“No.”
“Then shut the fuck and sleep. It’s four in the morning you little shit.”
Jongin smiles and closes his eyes, snuggling close and taking a deep breath of relief. He falls asleep all at once, not realizing just how tired he’d been.
Kyungsoo whispers under his breath when he’s sure Jongin is asleep, “I was never mad you cute shit. I was scared.”
___
Jongin loves Halloween, he’s always loved it. He remembers it being one of the only holidays he enjoyed with his brother. They’d dress up in whatever costume and ran around the neighborhood together giggling and screaming at the older kids who scared them. And at each house they’d get a piece of candy. There was no competition, they were both going to get a piece of candy of equal value. After it was all over they’d both spend the night sleeping in the living room with their piles of goodies while watching whatever scary movie was on.
So when the leaves start falling, when the pumpkin paintings start popping up all over campus, and finally when Kris backs off and leaves Jongin alone, he feels a great excitement in the air.
“I want to be Laura Croft.” Kyungsoo grins. Jongin stares in confusion. His best friend cackles and spins around. They’re in Kyungsoo’s apartment, Minseok sits on the mattress next to Jongin with the same blank stare. “Look watch.” he holds up a finger and begins stripping.
A few minutes later Kyungsoo has on his black gym shorts which he’s rolled up to be booty shorts, and a gray tank top tied to make a bra shape in front. Jongin’s mouth goes dry.
“Okay no. Never.” Minseok immediately shakes his head. Jongin snickers because Kyungsoo looks flabbergasted and pops his hip out. “Stop it diva rolls your shorts back down.”
Kyungsoo does not roll his shorts down and does a little bit of dancing and playful seduction to the others in the room before he finally puts his pants back on and plops down next to Jongin with a sad face. “We should do a couple costume Jongin, you want to?” he blinks his eyes cutely and Jongin laughs loudly.
“Why me? Do it with Minseok!” Jongin points at the older student. Minseok shakes his head quickly, making an excuse to leave because he has laundry in.
“You’re my only hope! Please~” his best friend pouts and makes this puppy noise that causes Jongin to laugh harder. He’s attacked, Kyungsoo growls and jumps on top of him, tickling the younger until they’re in a heap of sheats and laughing like lunatics.
“Okay fine! Stop stop don’t!” Jongin begs when Kyungsoo’s fingers get under his shirt and tickles his sides. “Okay fine!” he laughs as he catches his breath. His best friend grins with triumph and stands up, offering his hand.
“Great, because I have an amazing idea and you better comply.”
___
It’s Halloween Eve and Jongin stares in the mirror with a complex feeling.
On one hand he’s scared shitless. This is not what he had in mind. But he’d accepted it. And not because he had to, no. He accepted it because he wanted to. He knew Kyungsoo would never make him do anything he didn’t want to. So one hand he feels a little subconscious about the whole outfit, or lack there of, but on the other hand…
Jongin feels sexy. He is feeling himself and liking how seductive he looks. With a twirl he sees his backside and smirks at himself, shaking his butt a little with glee.
A series of loud knocks makes him jump, “Come on puppy your costume isn’t even complicated! Let’s go!” Kyungsoo yells. Jongin sighs and does one more once over and finally opens the door.
Kyungsoo whistles with delight and motions for Jongin to spin around, he does so and laughs as his best friend claps, “Perfect perfect yeah I’d definitely skin you alive for my fur coat. Love it. I’m a genius.”
Their theme is 101 Dalmatians. Kyungsoo is the male Cruella De Vil. His hair is painted half white with hair chalk, he sports a sleek black vest and tie over a long white fitted dress shirt. With red gloves, a studded black belt, polished dress shoes, black slacks and a pompous fluffy white fur coat Kyungsoo is in character. He pretends to take a drag from his long red cigarette holder he’d bought online and smiles. Jongin applauds him.
Jongin is the dalmation. But he is what Kyungsoo calls a ‘slutty puppy’. He wears only a black speedo, a bright red collar with a leash, and a dalmatian printed fur coat. Oh and he can’t forget his ears. Kyungsoo had found them in a kid store. They were obviously meant for little girls, with cute little dotted ears and a red ribbon in the center. But according to Kyungsoo, Jongin makes them look downright sinful.
With a fake growl Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s leash and tugs, “Come on slut puppy, lets blow this joint! We are so winning the couple costume award!”
There’s a big party on campus being thrown by the student government. A ton of the student body shows up and Jongin hugs the jacket tight around himself, becoming a little self conscious. He’s never done something so outlandish. But as soon as he looks over, his best friend winks at him and Jongin feels a bit better.
The party is located in the student center. Party lights sparkle across the walls as people dance and just overall have a good time. Jongin lets go of his uncomfortable feeling and has fun dancing with Kyungsoo, smiling so much his cheeks hurt. They share a caramel apple, they drink punch from silly straws and when a magician comes around and throws glitter on Jongin, he laughs with delight and rubs himself all over a giggling Kyungsoo.
The after party is off campus at a nearby sorority. They take shots together and dance dirty together. Jongin is feeling himself, he likes the way he looks and the way he feels as he rubs his ass against Kyungsoo’s crotch. House music bumps and thumps and makes it feel like his body is vibrating. Jongin can't remember the last time he’d had this much fun at a party.
When his best friend offers to go get Jongin a bottle of water and leaves for a quick second is when Jongin walks in to danger.
“Jongin?” a loud booming voice rings in his ears. He slowly turns around and stares at the gorilla he never wanted to see again. Sure he’s a little tipsy, but he wasn’t plastered.
Chanyeol is checking him out hardcore, hungry eyes on Jongin’s glittered bare torso and shaved tanned legs. Jongin backs up a little and his heart jumps in his chest when Chanyeol follows with a smile, “How are you? How are you doing?”
Jongin shrugs noncommittally and tries to walk away. But Chanyeol quickly grabs his wrist, “Hey. You look great.” he emphasizes with his eyes, “Can we talk for a second?”
He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk to Chanyeol. He wants to find Kyungsoo and get the hell out of here. Suddenly his costume is too bare and Jongin wants to hide in a corner. Chanyeol approaches, he gets closer and presses Jongin into a wall with dark eyes.
“I miss you,” the gorilla slurs, his large hand playing with the fur of Jongin’s coat, “I’m so sorry about what happened. I should've treated you better you know? Damn you look so good sweetheart.”
Jongin cringes at the nickname, craning his neck away as Chanyeol’s face nuzzles into his neck. His hands press against Chanyeol’s chest and push slightly, trying to give the other a hint that he doesn’t want this. But his ex continues on. Grabby hands slipping under Jongin’s coat and running up Jongin’s bare skin. He gasps and pushes harder, he yelps when Chanyeol’s finger flick his nipples.
And then the sensation is gone all together and Jongin wraps his coat around himself tightly. Shaking and glaring. Kyungsoo is there with his arm wrapped unforgivingly around Chanyeol’s neck. “You don’t know when to stop do you dumbass?”
When his ex starts coughing Kyungsoo releases him and steps beside Jongin, “You okay puppy?” he checks. Jongin nods and puts himself behind his Cruella De Vil.
“Fuck Kyungsoo, we were just talking!” Chanyeol massages his throat and shoots lasers at the pair. His life must be spinning out of control. Because both of his ex boyfriends are standing together and they look very...like they know each other very well. And its all confirmed when Kyungsoo wraps an arm around Jongin’s slim waist and leads him away. Well fuck.
___
When they get back to Kyungsoo’s apartment they collapse on to his bed in a fit of chuckles and hazy minds. It was a good night, they feel a little buzzed and everything is good.
“What a pig! Hands all over you! How annoying!” Kyungsoo hiccups at the end of his sentence and Jongin laughs into the pillow beside him. “Who you laughing at? You wanna get tickled puppy? Hm? C’mere!” he pounces. He does just as he said he would, he tickles a hysterical Jongin who hits Kyungsoo’s shoulder in complaint but ends up hugging the other to his chest.
They pause when they realize what a compromising position they’re in. Kyungsoo is settled in between Jongin’s legs, Jongin’s coat has fallen open completely and if Mr. De Vil is honest with himself the puppy beneath him looks delicious. The glitter gleams as Jongin shifts and reminds the man on top of him he’s only in a tight black speedo and nothing else. And Kyungsoo knows if this was anyone else laying under him looking delicious and willing he would have dipped down and tasted every inch of that body and gotten his satisfaction.
But it’s Jongin. So he gets off with a laugh, digs through his drawers, and hands his best friend a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt to sleep in. They both change and snuggle in bed together, happy with how the night had went.
___
Chanyeol starts popping up everywhere. And it’s annoying. Jongin shoos him away but can’t seem to escape him.
You really changed after we broke up.
Let’s just try one more time.
I miss you sweetheart.
Give me a chance sweetheart, I never stopped loving you.
You know you want me back.
Jongin doesn’t tell Kyungsoo about all the times Chanyeol has followed him home and tried to get inside. He’s not sure why he doesn’t tell his best friend. But thinking about how Kyungsoo would handle it makes Jongin nervous.
___
Part 2