"You can't turn on creativity like a fountain."
The words of Calvin. And Hobbes, that is.
I've got a column assignment, and I'm having major mental writer's block. So, I'm using this entry to brainstorm.
My position is pro holiday spirit. First of all, what? Where do we live, Whoville? Who isn't pro holiday spirit? Granted, the Jewish aren't pro Christmas spirit, but holiday spirit and Christmas spirit are two entirely separate entities. Holiday spirit is a lot more than just hitting up the malls and Wal-Marts before the stroke of midnight on 12-24. It's a warm, fuzzy feeling that permeates the atmosphere, wraps around us like a blanket. It's a sense of everyone coming together in some form or fashion to promote one, simple idea: happiness. Who doesn't want to be happy? No one has signs on Congress Ave. saying, "DOWN WITH HAPPY! KEEP GRIM IN OFFICE!" The gifts, the trees, the lights, the candles, the religious holidays, the ham, it's all about being happy. No one can successfully point out a person who does not truly want to be happy.
Second, if happiness isn't the reason for the holiday spirit, excercise definitely is. Consider this: the shopping frenzy begins the day after Thanksgiving on Black Friday. Shopping during the holidays is one of the most stressful events known to man, short of crawling on one's hands and knees up the side of Mount Everest holding a pack mule in one's teeth. Shopping is one of the most effective ways of getting rid of turkey and pumpkin pie pounds amassed on Thanksgiving, and getting a jump-start on the New Year's resolution to lose weight. Whether one sweats it out or stresses it out, weight loss will be experienced during the holidays. Even after Christmas, weight will be lost; those trees are heavy to throw out.
Third, holiday spirit unites people in a manner rivalled only by a national disaster. Whether via altruism or guilt, everyone will do something nice for someone over the holidays. Rich people donate a fraction of a percent of their fortunes to charity. Bored people go to a shelter and help feed the homeless. High school people decorate friends' lockers and engage in Secret Santa. Little kid people buy their classmates Christmas cards, ensuring no one will have a lonely holiday. Why would anyone desire otherwise?
Holiday spirit is one of the key things to look forward to throughout the year. It is the climactic experience of the year, a way to end the year on a good note.
It took me forty-five minutes to come up with that. Thanks for listening, guys.
-Josh G.
I've got a column assignment, and I'm having major mental writer's block. So, I'm using this entry to brainstorm.
My position is pro holiday spirit. First of all, what? Where do we live, Whoville? Who isn't pro holiday spirit? Granted, the Jewish aren't pro Christmas spirit, but holiday spirit and Christmas spirit are two entirely separate entities. Holiday spirit is a lot more than just hitting up the malls and Wal-Marts before the stroke of midnight on 12-24. It's a warm, fuzzy feeling that permeates the atmosphere, wraps around us like a blanket. It's a sense of everyone coming together in some form or fashion to promote one, simple idea: happiness. Who doesn't want to be happy? No one has signs on Congress Ave. saying, "DOWN WITH HAPPY! KEEP GRIM IN OFFICE!" The gifts, the trees, the lights, the candles, the religious holidays, the ham, it's all about being happy. No one can successfully point out a person who does not truly want to be happy.
Second, if happiness isn't the reason for the holiday spirit, excercise definitely is. Consider this: the shopping frenzy begins the day after Thanksgiving on Black Friday. Shopping during the holidays is one of the most stressful events known to man, short of crawling on one's hands and knees up the side of Mount Everest holding a pack mule in one's teeth. Shopping is one of the most effective ways of getting rid of turkey and pumpkin pie pounds amassed on Thanksgiving, and getting a jump-start on the New Year's resolution to lose weight. Whether one sweats it out or stresses it out, weight loss will be experienced during the holidays. Even after Christmas, weight will be lost; those trees are heavy to throw out.
Third, holiday spirit unites people in a manner rivalled only by a national disaster. Whether via altruism or guilt, everyone will do something nice for someone over the holidays. Rich people donate a fraction of a percent of their fortunes to charity. Bored people go to a shelter and help feed the homeless. High school people decorate friends' lockers and engage in Secret Santa. Little kid people buy their classmates Christmas cards, ensuring no one will have a lonely holiday. Why would anyone desire otherwise?
Holiday spirit is one of the key things to look forward to throughout the year. It is the climactic experience of the year, a way to end the year on a good note.
It took me forty-five minutes to come up with that. Thanks for listening, guys.
-Josh G.