Christmas! Bah, humbug!
Yeah, I know it's a little early but I've seen the cards in the shops already and over the weekend I read my first thread on Christmas, so I'm going to pitch in with how much I hate Christmas!
Sure, there is the giving of presents and the general merry making. The laughing and the singing and the jolliness of the whole thing.
I can even forgive the commercialism, just a little bit.
But what gets to me is it is a time of family or supposed to be. But I can't do that. I have to be Nicholas!! But I want to be Nicola!! I have to conform!! I have to do things with my hair so it doesn't look femme, I have to wear smart clothes that supposedly make me look right!! I have to be the old me. But the old me was always tired, ill, depressed and out of place.
I want to wear all the bright, smart, beautiful clothes that Ladies get to wear at this time of year. Clothes that seem special because of the time of year. Yeah, I know how crazy that sounds but it's how I perceive things.
And as ungrateful as it sounds I hate the gifts I get too. Usually a pair of socks or men's cologne or toiletries! I get these gifts because I have to hide! And everything addressed to Mr Nicholas too! :-(
I sometimes wonder about the scorched earth approach! End of November, send out Xmas cards with my picture on it declaring this is who I am! Pulling the phone of the wall, lock the doors and ride the fall out!! To be honest I couldn't care less, I hardly see the family much. Only around Xmas, Birthdays and the occasional anniversaries! The funerals and the weddings, but the weddings are few and far apart and thankfully the funerals are non-existent! (Touch wood!)
Christmas can go and leave me behind, as far as I'm concerned! Trouble is I live too close to my parents who drive me to a breaking point just to get me involved in the Xmas spirit!
Two weeks, far away from Enfield and the chance to see the New Year in as the real me would suit me just fine!!
Christmas! Stuff it, like the proverbial turkey!