hm. college. tours.
sergei talked about going to college in chicago the other day and i really felt....sad.He asked me what was wrong, i just told him i didn't want to talk about it, and i didn't. But really, it's just starting to hit me that this is going to be the last year he's going to be in that school, and i'm feeling just so sad that everyone has gone off to college this summer already, and i'm broken up about it. I act like i'm not, but i am. I hate change, and they'rve always been there, and now they're just gone,and i wasn't ready for it. I'm not a very independant person. I need people to talk to and to have fun with. I need somebody to love. Judging by how i feel about Mark, Phil, and Josh leaving, i can't imagine what i'm going to feel like if sergei leaves. He told me he wouldn't. and if he did it would just prove that EVERYONE leaves, no matter what they tell you and no matter how much they love you. The greatest friends i've had that have given me unconditional love for the past 8 years are gone. And if we see eachother when they come back, who knows if they'll be the same. Probably not. Distance like that changes, time apart like that changes, and i know that and it sucks because hi, i can't change it. It couldn't stay simple like this forever, but i just wasn't ready.
and now i guess the cozmonauts are allegedly going on tour. It sounds great, but even tim is skeptical.He says it's going to take A LOT for this to fall through. It's 2 weeks the beginning of next summer. They'll go through all these states on the east coast. It's just like, wow, okay, so you are leaving. I'm so proud of them and happy and excited for them, but im gonna get really pissed if i have to hear "hey man, it doesn't matter, we're going on tour" all year, i'm gonna go crazy.
The fragile keep secrets, clustered in pockets, i'll sell them for nothing, a cheap watch, a locket.
with the kind of gold that washes off
And the saddic-like leopards, they stick to the shadows, come to ring bells of warning to tell of their comings,
let the curtain shut their door.
And the angrier animals are senseless and savage, they act without order and logical lapses.
they stain their mouths with blood.
So take my hand, and standing there is a life to knows. All corn is growing stalks that form a wall to hide.
The wind carries sounds that i can see from beyond that line.
And the stalks begin to sway,
stay with me arienette, until the wolves are away.
Wicked or vultures, they bake in the canyons, they'll circle in sunlight, and wait for their victims
to collapse and call to them.
And the Desperate or water, they'll run down forever, and they'll soak into silence, and mend them together
in a dark and distant place.
So don't leave me hear with lonely mirrors watching me
This house, it holds nothing but the memories
and the moon, it glows silver, but never sleeps. Silver turns to grey.
Please stay with me arienette until the wolves are away