lyfe.
Here we go again!!!!! sorry guys, haven't posted on here in a while. I missed my livejournal friends. They always supported me throughout everything.
A lot has happened in the last YEAR.
Sergei and I broke up. It was really hard at first for me. I felt like I lost everything, and he was being an asshole and didn't want anything to do with me. We tried making it work again a couple of times, but we both just changed so much over the couple years we were together. He wanted different thing and I couldn't handle the whole 'the bands gonna make it' notion. It just seemed so unrealistic to me, and I wanted somebody to settle down with, not try to be a rock star their entire life. It just didn't work. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean and trying to make it work again just wasn't happening. I thought that we could put things back together and everything would be normal again, but now I see that it just wouldn't happen. We're better off without eachother. I miss some things about him, but the bad outweighed the good, and I wasn't having it. I'll always remember him as the good thing that changed my life, and then ran it right back into the ground. Not really a good thing, and for that I'm sorry. He did change my life. a lot. For a long while. But after he just broke my heart and changed my whole outlook on men and relationships. For a long while after we broke up, I didn't want anything to do with any boys. I didn't want to try to go out and meet new people. I didnt want to do anything. I would cry about it all the time, but i never got a good cry about it until we talked just recenty. I bawled my eyes out over the phone with him. I kept telling him how sorry I was for crying and telling him "I haven't gotten to cry about this, im sorry im sorry' apologizing apologizing. He just brushed me off like he didn't even care. I told him that I dont know how we got to that point. We were supposed to be together forever. we were supposed to get married and have kids and live in cambridge house. It was supposed to be likethat.Bullshit. I can't trust anyone. I just can't.
In lighter news -
I got aly back. Thank God. I can't believe i deserted her for that long. I was such a stupid woman for doing that and letting her go. But now I know that she truly is my best friend for taking me back like that after all the shit i put her through. Shes great. God bless her. We'll be friends forever, I know it. We've been through so much together and I can't believe i threw all of that away for some asshole boyfriend. I'll never do that again. I'll never let anything ruin our friendship. She's such a great person. So that wasreally good. It feels great to be back.
Mark and Aly has this cute little thing over the summer. They were 'together' without the title. Exclusive, if you will. I honestly thought they were great together. Poor Aly. Mark went back to grand valley and is feeling like shit again, and since he's addicted to heartbreak he couldn't be with aly FOR REAL because Aly can't hurt him. It's terrible. I'm so angry with him for toying with Aly's feeling because she's just so delicate. And not to mention, she's my best friend and i hate seeing her hurt. I thought they would be cute together.
I switched schools, now i go to Mohegan. It's an alternative school. I go 1:30pm - 7:30 pm. It's super easy and the people there are great. You go at your own pace,and I just need to graduate. I made some friends there. Theres a lesbian there, her name is Hilary. She has really really curly short blonde hair and bad acne. She dresses like a typical ska kid. She's cute andreally funny. I like her.
i still love my life. Despite all the bullshit thats gone down.
A lot has happened in the last YEAR.
Sergei and I broke up. It was really hard at first for me. I felt like I lost everything, and he was being an asshole and didn't want anything to do with me. We tried making it work again a couple of times, but we both just changed so much over the couple years we were together. He wanted different thing and I couldn't handle the whole 'the bands gonna make it' notion. It just seemed so unrealistic to me, and I wanted somebody to settle down with, not try to be a rock star their entire life. It just didn't work. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean and trying to make it work again just wasn't happening. I thought that we could put things back together and everything would be normal again, but now I see that it just wouldn't happen. We're better off without eachother. I miss some things about him, but the bad outweighed the good, and I wasn't having it. I'll always remember him as the good thing that changed my life, and then ran it right back into the ground. Not really a good thing, and for that I'm sorry. He did change my life. a lot. For a long while. But after he just broke my heart and changed my whole outlook on men and relationships. For a long while after we broke up, I didn't want anything to do with any boys. I didn't want to try to go out and meet new people. I didnt want to do anything. I would cry about it all the time, but i never got a good cry about it until we talked just recenty. I bawled my eyes out over the phone with him. I kept telling him how sorry I was for crying and telling him "I haven't gotten to cry about this, im sorry im sorry' apologizing apologizing. He just brushed me off like he didn't even care. I told him that I dont know how we got to that point. We were supposed to be together forever. we were supposed to get married and have kids and live in cambridge house. It was supposed to be likethat.Bullshit. I can't trust anyone. I just can't.
In lighter news -
I got aly back. Thank God. I can't believe i deserted her for that long. I was such a stupid woman for doing that and letting her go. But now I know that she truly is my best friend for taking me back like that after all the shit i put her through. Shes great. God bless her. We'll be friends forever, I know it. We've been through so much together and I can't believe i threw all of that away for some asshole boyfriend. I'll never do that again. I'll never let anything ruin our friendship. She's such a great person. So that wasreally good. It feels great to be back.
Mark and Aly has this cute little thing over the summer. They were 'together' without the title. Exclusive, if you will. I honestly thought they were great together. Poor Aly. Mark went back to grand valley and is feeling like shit again, and since he's addicted to heartbreak he couldn't be with aly FOR REAL because Aly can't hurt him. It's terrible. I'm so angry with him for toying with Aly's feeling because she's just so delicate. And not to mention, she's my best friend and i hate seeing her hurt. I thought they would be cute together.
I switched schools, now i go to Mohegan. It's an alternative school. I go 1:30pm - 7:30 pm. It's super easy and the people there are great. You go at your own pace,and I just need to graduate. I made some friends there. Theres a lesbian there, her name is Hilary. She has really really curly short blonde hair and bad acne. She dresses like a typical ska kid. She's cute andreally funny. I like her.
i still love my life. Despite all the bullshit thats gone down.