Ferret Stories
My friend is having surgery soon. Tonight I went over to his place to clean so he won't have to for a few days (he can heal peacefully). He has 5 ferrets.
Story 1
There are 5 ferrets in the cage. They poop every 2-3 hours. He hasn't cleaned out the litter box in over a week. The entire litterbox is filled with crap. It's like bumpy brown fudge with lumps of green fudge. There's also a large pile of poop next to the litterbox in the shape of a brick. I pry the litterbox out of the cage, and as I get a closer look I realize that the poop is wriggling and there are flies EVERYWHERE. I didn't dig in it and look for maggots, but I'm sure that is what they were. I dumped the litterbox in the trash and set it down to work on the brick. I tried to pick it up with a paper towel, but my hand could not even hold half of it. I tore the shit brick apart, the inside was like fresh brownies. All gooey and dark. The smell was so pungent! I started gagging and couldn't finish cleaning it up, I ran to the other side of the room and held a towel over my nose to try and cover it. My friend had to finish cleaning it.
Story 2
Elwood does not know how to pee properly. Every time I pick him up, there is a ring of dried poop around his dick. I suspect that he isn't arching his back high enough when he urinates and ends up dragging his belly around in the litter box. My Static has the same problem. I'm considering shaving a patch on his belly (with a tiny shaving wand/mustache trimmer/no blades) so he stays clean.
Story 3
My ferrets crap in front of my door sometimes. I don't really understand why, but I put down a puddle pad and all is well. I was watching my friends ferret Toki recently. He is a bit weird. He's deaf, so scared of absolutely everything. If you chase him he will roll out of the way rather than hop. So I'm watching him run, and he backs up into the door. No problem right? Well, this guy raised his back legs onto the door, scooted backwards with his front paws, and shat on my door 8 inches from the floor. He did a headstand so he could shit on the actual door. It was both fascinating and horrifying.
Story 4 (more of a WTF)
In the mornings my ferrets will climb onto my bed, burrow under the covers, and attack my legs (to wake me up when they are out of water). Today Trixie climbed onto my bed, burrowed under the covers, and took a bite out of my ass. She bit the softest part, right where my cheek meets my thigh. I screamed and peed myself a little in fright, because no one wants to be woken up with teeth on their butt.
Story 5
I'm holding Static last night, butt in one hand and his head over my shoulder, when he falls asleep. A short while later, I feel a throbbing in my hand. I flip him over and lift up his tail to discover that his anus is pulsating in his sleep. It felt so cool! But I was also worried that he might crap on me in his sleep (he didn't)
Here's the guy who crapped on my door:
He is a blaze champagne, chocolate in the winter.
Story 1
There are 5 ferrets in the cage. They poop every 2-3 hours. He hasn't cleaned out the litter box in over a week. The entire litterbox is filled with crap. It's like bumpy brown fudge with lumps of green fudge. There's also a large pile of poop next to the litterbox in the shape of a brick. I pry the litterbox out of the cage, and as I get a closer look I realize that the poop is wriggling and there are flies EVERYWHERE. I didn't dig in it and look for maggots, but I'm sure that is what they were. I dumped the litterbox in the trash and set it down to work on the brick. I tried to pick it up with a paper towel, but my hand could not even hold half of it. I tore the shit brick apart, the inside was like fresh brownies. All gooey and dark. The smell was so pungent! I started gagging and couldn't finish cleaning it up, I ran to the other side of the room and held a towel over my nose to try and cover it. My friend had to finish cleaning it.
Story 2
Elwood does not know how to pee properly. Every time I pick him up, there is a ring of dried poop around his dick. I suspect that he isn't arching his back high enough when he urinates and ends up dragging his belly around in the litter box. My Static has the same problem. I'm considering shaving a patch on his belly (with a tiny shaving wand/mustache trimmer/no blades) so he stays clean.
Story 3
My ferrets crap in front of my door sometimes. I don't really understand why, but I put down a puddle pad and all is well. I was watching my friends ferret Toki recently. He is a bit weird. He's deaf, so scared of absolutely everything. If you chase him he will roll out of the way rather than hop. So I'm watching him run, and he backs up into the door. No problem right? Well, this guy raised his back legs onto the door, scooted backwards with his front paws, and shat on my door 8 inches from the floor. He did a headstand so he could shit on the actual door. It was both fascinating and horrifying.
Story 4 (more of a WTF)
In the mornings my ferrets will climb onto my bed, burrow under the covers, and attack my legs (to wake me up when they are out of water). Today Trixie climbed onto my bed, burrowed under the covers, and took a bite out of my ass. She bit the softest part, right where my cheek meets my thigh. I screamed and peed myself a little in fright, because no one wants to be woken up with teeth on their butt.
Story 5
I'm holding Static last night, butt in one hand and his head over my shoulder, when he falls asleep. A short while later, I feel a throbbing in my hand. I flip him over and lift up his tail to discover that his anus is pulsating in his sleep. It felt so cool! But I was also worried that he might crap on me in his sleep (he didn't)
Here's the guy who crapped on my door:
He is a blaze champagne, chocolate in the winter.