The fool is back
Been reading a friend's blog and I realized how much I miss writing. I was so dedicated to doing this before and I don't understand why I did not keep it up. My lame ass excuse would be I got too busy but to be honest, maybe I got too lazy.
Which is a tragedy considering when I was younger, writing was the only thing I could do. The one thing I was proud of.
It's a shame I let it slip away. :( I've always thought as I got older, it was a 'gift' that I had, but I threw it out and let it go to waste.
Anyway. Now is not the time to lament over rusting skills. I'm back and I'm writing.
I go to the gym to make myself physically healthy. I hope as I continue writing, this will make me sound and healthy inside too.
*******************
So much has happened in the last few months. I've realized a lot of things about myself, how self aware I am most of the time, but at the same time, how 'weak' my personality or attitude is compared with other people.
I have lots of friends, but at the same time I don't. I can fit in with groups of people but I don't have anyone.
I do not even mean that in a boyfriend-girlfriend way, but simply I have no one. I have certain people that I want to confide in, but getting too close to them tends to ruin the relationship in the end. I dunno. The closer someone is to me, the clearer they could see the real, ugly me.
Needless to say, I'm bad at maintaining relationships. I tend to become over dependent and then sulk at the smallest offense (even imagined ones) thrown my way.
I'm not even sure if I want to make this entry public. Half of me wants to make this public, maybe making this post a cry for help, but half of me says do not, just grin and bear it, the same way you do sometimes.
I'll keep this within LJ. If people find this...then let them find and read this.
Whoever you are reading, you'll probably hear from me again tomorrow. :)
Which is a tragedy considering when I was younger, writing was the only thing I could do. The one thing I was proud of.
It's a shame I let it slip away. :( I've always thought as I got older, it was a 'gift' that I had, but I threw it out and let it go to waste.
Anyway. Now is not the time to lament over rusting skills. I'm back and I'm writing.
I go to the gym to make myself physically healthy. I hope as I continue writing, this will make me sound and healthy inside too.
*******************
So much has happened in the last few months. I've realized a lot of things about myself, how self aware I am most of the time, but at the same time, how 'weak' my personality or attitude is compared with other people.
I have lots of friends, but at the same time I don't. I can fit in with groups of people but I don't have anyone.
I do not even mean that in a boyfriend-girlfriend way, but simply I have no one. I have certain people that I want to confide in, but getting too close to them tends to ruin the relationship in the end. I dunno. The closer someone is to me, the clearer they could see the real, ugly me.
Needless to say, I'm bad at maintaining relationships. I tend to become over dependent and then sulk at the smallest offense (even imagined ones) thrown my way.
I'm not even sure if I want to make this entry public. Half of me wants to make this public, maybe making this post a cry for help, but half of me says do not, just grin and bear it, the same way you do sometimes.
I'll keep this within LJ. If people find this...then let them find and read this.
Whoever you are reading, you'll probably hear from me again tomorrow. :)