Trust Me 15/?
At first Reid was distant. The few times Luke would spot him, he’d have a glazed-over look in his eyes; like he wasn’t completely there. He’d weave in and out between the crowds of people, as if not wanting to disturb anyone.
And then, out of the blue, he was himself again. Tall and proud and unapologetic; forcing his way through the crowds.
“I ain’t ignoring you, kid. But, I don’t have the time to hang around and be available anytime you might want me. I got stuff going on in my life too, you know?”
Luke sighed, grabbing onto his arm. “I just… after what happened-“
Reid interrupted him by gently patting his cheek. “Luke, let it go. I’m fine. Stop worrying. I’ll see you around.”
He silenced whatever disagreement Luke might have had with a quick but intense kiss, and he was around the corner by the time Luke’s brain was functioning again.
He would have believed him, if it weren’t for the fact that it had only been two weeks since the incident, and he had barely seen Reid at all and only spoken to him a couple of times. And each time, he had been dismissed before he could even get two words out.
The first time it hadn’t bothered him… that much. But as it happened more and more, along with the feeling that he was trying to stay away from him, he grew more and more uncertain.
Finally, after once again being walked out of before he could get a complete sentence out, he gave up.
He stopped going out of his way in the halls to catch one glimpse of him. He stopped neglecting his lunch to be running around the school looking for him, only eating whatever leftovers Maddie brought him. He stopped calling him five times a day, hoping that maybe he’d get something other than the cold voicemail. And he stopped searching the parking lot at the end of the day to see if his car was still there.
He gave up.
It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell.
He tried to block it all out, block out his emotions; the way Reid did so well.
But that wasn’t Luke.
Luke wore his heart on his sleeve. When he was sad, he was sad. And if Luke Snyder wanted to cry, he would very damn well cry his heart out.
It was all for nothing. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Unknowingly he had put himself completely out there, and now he was out there for everyone to see; broken, bruised, defeated, and alone.
‘Fuck Reid Oliver’, he thought. Over and over again.
“Fuck him, Luke.” Reg told him while awkwardly trying to comfort him. “Forget about him!” Luke had broken down on him in the middle of a game of Call of Duty that he initiated after another failed attempt to call Reid. “You’ll find some new, better, hotter guy, and you’ll forget all about this jerk, and he’ll just fucking regret losing you in the first place.”
Despite being childishly uncomfortable at times (“Why the hell would you want to lick his asshole??”), Reg was proving to be a good listener and a good friend for him. He pulled Luke into all his ridiculous discussions at lunch, just to keep him from staring longingly at the empty seat across the cafeteria. He ran by Luke’s locker on his way to class, pestering him with nonsense comments to get his mind on something else. He invited him over to play videogames at every opportunity, and generally just tried to cheer him up.
It wasn’t just Reg. His friends were proving themselves to be really amazing. Maddie offered to do the apparently famous cleansing ritual that females went through after ending a relationship. Something involving burning pictures, deleting numbers, and eating copious amounts of ice cream straight from the carton while watching lame romantic comedies, and crying their eyes out.
And Casey even offered to get them some fake I.D.s and accompany him to gay bars in Chicago. “It’ll be a confidence boost for me to have all the guys drooling over me, and we can find some hotties for you to have fun with!”
Yeah, his friends were really amazing and supportive. And it felt good to know that he had someone to lean on when things were crappy, like they were now.
Luke lived with his dad at the farm for the time being, still not wanting to be around his mother. She had agreed to not go to the police and press charges, but she still wanted him to stay away from Reid. For the time being he was too tired to even argue with her anymore and simply didn’t say anything to her. For the time being he thought that nothing could’ve kept them apart anyways, least of all Lily.
Holden had remained quiet. Luke was still very unsure about what to feel about his dad at the moment. On the one hand, he was very supportive and understanding of what Luke was going through. But on the other hand, he hadn’t done anything to help when things were at their worst, at Reid’s house… And he remained quiet as Lily had spewed out one horrible thing after another. His silence hurt just as much as her words.
It all just sucked now. Everything. His whole life had changed in just a few short weeks, and all for nothing.
He would’ve had to come out to everyone at some point. But it could have been easier. He could have actually sat people down and told them, instead of having them hear about the hallway-kiss. He could have let his mom deal with it gradually; instead of having it shoved in her face; instead of having her end up walking in on him in the middle of a sexual act with his boyf… boyfriend?
Fuck, he didn’t even know what he and Reid were to one another. Were. Past tense.
It didn’t even matter now anyway. Past tense. Done. Past.
‘Just get over it, Luke. It’s just a crush, your first crush. It hurts now, but it will pass. And you will look back on it, and think of how stupid you were for feeling like this, for feeling like this was the end of your world. When you get your first real boyfriend, you’ll see….’
And then, out of the blue, he was himself again. Tall and proud and unapologetic; forcing his way through the crowds.
“I ain’t ignoring you, kid. But, I don’t have the time to hang around and be available anytime you might want me. I got stuff going on in my life too, you know?”
Luke sighed, grabbing onto his arm. “I just… after what happened-“
Reid interrupted him by gently patting his cheek. “Luke, let it go. I’m fine. Stop worrying. I’ll see you around.”
He silenced whatever disagreement Luke might have had with a quick but intense kiss, and he was around the corner by the time Luke’s brain was functioning again.
He would have believed him, if it weren’t for the fact that it had only been two weeks since the incident, and he had barely seen Reid at all and only spoken to him a couple of times. And each time, he had been dismissed before he could even get two words out.
The first time it hadn’t bothered him… that much. But as it happened more and more, along with the feeling that he was trying to stay away from him, he grew more and more uncertain.
Finally, after once again being walked out of before he could get a complete sentence out, he gave up.
He stopped going out of his way in the halls to catch one glimpse of him. He stopped neglecting his lunch to be running around the school looking for him, only eating whatever leftovers Maddie brought him. He stopped calling him five times a day, hoping that maybe he’d get something other than the cold voicemail. And he stopped searching the parking lot at the end of the day to see if his car was still there.
He gave up.
It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like hell.
He tried to block it all out, block out his emotions; the way Reid did so well.
But that wasn’t Luke.
Luke wore his heart on his sleeve. When he was sad, he was sad. And if Luke Snyder wanted to cry, he would very damn well cry his heart out.
It was all for nothing. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Unknowingly he had put himself completely out there, and now he was out there for everyone to see; broken, bruised, defeated, and alone.
‘Fuck Reid Oliver’, he thought. Over and over again.
“Fuck him, Luke.” Reg told him while awkwardly trying to comfort him. “Forget about him!” Luke had broken down on him in the middle of a game of Call of Duty that he initiated after another failed attempt to call Reid. “You’ll find some new, better, hotter guy, and you’ll forget all about this jerk, and he’ll just fucking regret losing you in the first place.”
Despite being childishly uncomfortable at times (“Why the hell would you want to lick his asshole??”), Reg was proving to be a good listener and a good friend for him. He pulled Luke into all his ridiculous discussions at lunch, just to keep him from staring longingly at the empty seat across the cafeteria. He ran by Luke’s locker on his way to class, pestering him with nonsense comments to get his mind on something else. He invited him over to play videogames at every opportunity, and generally just tried to cheer him up.
It wasn’t just Reg. His friends were proving themselves to be really amazing. Maddie offered to do the apparently famous cleansing ritual that females went through after ending a relationship. Something involving burning pictures, deleting numbers, and eating copious amounts of ice cream straight from the carton while watching lame romantic comedies, and crying their eyes out.
And Casey even offered to get them some fake I.D.s and accompany him to gay bars in Chicago. “It’ll be a confidence boost for me to have all the guys drooling over me, and we can find some hotties for you to have fun with!”
Yeah, his friends were really amazing and supportive. And it felt good to know that he had someone to lean on when things were crappy, like they were now.
Luke lived with his dad at the farm for the time being, still not wanting to be around his mother. She had agreed to not go to the police and press charges, but she still wanted him to stay away from Reid. For the time being he was too tired to even argue with her anymore and simply didn’t say anything to her. For the time being he thought that nothing could’ve kept them apart anyways, least of all Lily.
Holden had remained quiet. Luke was still very unsure about what to feel about his dad at the moment. On the one hand, he was very supportive and understanding of what Luke was going through. But on the other hand, he hadn’t done anything to help when things were at their worst, at Reid’s house… And he remained quiet as Lily had spewed out one horrible thing after another. His silence hurt just as much as her words.
It all just sucked now. Everything. His whole life had changed in just a few short weeks, and all for nothing.
He would’ve had to come out to everyone at some point. But it could have been easier. He could have actually sat people down and told them, instead of having them hear about the hallway-kiss. He could have let his mom deal with it gradually; instead of having it shoved in her face; instead of having her end up walking in on him in the middle of a sexual act with his boyf… boyfriend?
Fuck, he didn’t even know what he and Reid were to one another. Were. Past tense.
It didn’t even matter now anyway. Past tense. Done. Past.
‘Just get over it, Luke. It’s just a crush, your first crush. It hurts now, but it will pass. And you will look back on it, and think of how stupid you were for feeling like this, for feeling like this was the end of your world. When you get your first real boyfriend, you’ll see….’