Trust Me 14/?
”It’s just not right.”
”You’re confused.”
“He is using you!”
It was just more of the same. Lily was still hell-bent on bringing the police into the matter. Luckily, Holden was against it.
“You’re already pushing him away, Lily. This will only make things worse. Just leave it alone.”
Luke couldn’t even focus. All he could think about was Reid. Something was off. Something was really off. He didn’t know what, and it scared him immensely.
With Reid’s phone being broken, Luke had no way of contacting him. He didn’t know his home-number and he was too scared anyway to take the chance on having Angus answer the phone. He could go over there, but again he would run the risk of running into Angus, and the thought of that was just beyond scary.
The man terrified him.
And the thought of Reid being alone with him scared him beyond belief. He had done something to Reid. Something worse than just yelling…
Luke thought of what he had said, about Reid’s father. Had he really killed himself? There had to be some truth to it, something that had made Reid react the way he did when Luke asked about it. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. Something was hurting Reid, and Luke had to let it go. He had promised to leave it alone, to not bring it up again.
‘When did my life get so messed up?’ he asked himself as he sat there on the couch, watching his parents argue: about him, this time; about who loved him more; about who he was.
And it hurt him, deep down into his core.
His mom refused to accept it, to accept him. She couldn’t even say it.
“We cannot let him throw away his entire life, just because he is having problems dealing with our separation and that makes him think that he’s… that. No!”
Thinks… He didn’t think, he knew.
He knew. Of everything in his life, of all the fucked up things and of all the good things, this was the only thing that he felt completely certain about. No matter what would happen in the future, Luke Snyder was and would always be gay. No matter what would happen, he could never feel the same way about a woman as he did right then and there about Reid.
He wanted to tell her this. But he didn’t.
He was tired and scared, and felt utterly and completely useless. Useless. He couldn’t do anything. Reid was obviously hurting, and he couldn’t do anything.
He was tired. Tired of explaining himself, only to be rejected. Tired of seeing the disbelief and disgust in her eyes. Tired of hearing the terrible things she was spewing out about Reid.
And he was scared, scared of his feelings. He didn’t know when things had changed; when things had gone from being purely physical (‘Oh, be honest, Luke. It was never purely physical for you’) to being more.
More. To the point where it felt like he was being stabbed in the heart every time he thought of anything harming Reid. To the point where it hurt to even be away from him, and all he could think about was having those strong arms wrapped around him, and those lips next to his ear whispering that everything was going to be all right.
Reid had jokingly warned him against becoming so dependent on him. But Luke knew it was more than a joke. Behind the humor, Reid was telling him to stay away, not to get involved. The thing was; neither one of them could do it. They were drawn to each other. Something… There was something that they both felt, something that kept them coming back for more.
Something that got Luke to secretly watch Reid in the first place, something that got Reid to follow Luke into that bathroom, something that got Luke to come back, something that got Reid to allow it.
And it was too late now. Luke was in deep, way too deep, and he was only sinking deeper and deeper in the quicksand that seemed to be Reid. And the deeper he got, the more he understood about the older boy. And the deeper he got, the more confused he got.
Something had happened, and Reid ended up alone. And his hard exterior and uninviting persona was a defense mechanism; to keep people from getting too close and getting too into his life. Getting too deep into his life, to the point where the secrets would come out.
And Luke wanted to know them all: every light, stupid, easy secret; every deep, dark, horrible one. All of it. Anything. Everything.
And that scared him the most. That Reid could tell him anything, anything, and it would be okay. He would deal with it. Could deal with it.
That was just… beyond crazy. Beyond anything he could ever imagine or comprehend, plain and simply crazy.
“I agreed that we weren’t bringing the police into this! But I want him to stay away from that boy! I know you don’t want to see him hurt anymore than I do, so why are you fighting me on this?”
Luke was pulled from his thoughts by his mother’s shrill voice, and he looked up. His parents were standing on opposite sides of the room, waving their arms furiously as they discussed.
“It’s not something that we can control, no matter how much we might want to. Could your mother keep us apart back then? No, because we wanted to be together. And I believe that’s what it is like for Luke. I know that this news is hard for you to comprehend, and trust me, it’s not easy for me either. But we can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away, while pushing him away.”
“He is not old enough to know this! This is all…that boy. He has been influencing him, corrupting him.”
“Oh for the love of God, Mom.” Luke finally stood up from the couch. “I have not been corrupted or influenced by anyone. I knew I was gay before I even met Reid, okay? I don’t want to be with a girl. I know it’s hard for you to understand but it’s just how it is.” He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. “Just… don’t do this to me, please? Don’t make me stay away from him. I need to see him. I need… I need to be with him. And right now, I think he needs me. What happened yesterday… it’s worse for him. His uncle is not right, he’s horrible to Reid! And he’s done something, and I am scared to find out what. But I need to know. So please, please, please!” He grabbed onto her hand, pleading desperately. “Please, Mom, please! I love you, and I know that you love me. Please don’t do this to me.”
He could see her breaking. Her heart broke for him. And she pulled him in. “Oh honey…” She whispered gently against his hair, rubbing his back comfortingly. “I just want what’s best for you.”
“Then please don’t do this to me.” He whispered back, wiping away the tears that had mysteriously found their way down his face.