Nobody knows the [money] trouble I've seen...
So I started working at the Card Outlet again, which is nice and all, but I still can't seem to keep any money under my belt. I think now that Anna is going back to college I'll be able to save up some easier. I'll really only have Andy to hang out with and he usually just drinks beer and watches Netflix, so that's not costing me anything.
I need to get a car.
I need to get an apartment.
I need to start looking for a job with opportunity.
I need to start writing a book seriously.
I really think building a routine around that last one is key. I need to find a time I will always be home and designate an hour to writing. Or at least trying to. Disconnect the internet (and at this point my laptop is so shitty it hardly runs internet anyway) and just stare at a word document and struggle through something until it starts to work. I can't just have ideas in my head anymore. There are too many.
In other news I had a strange dream. And I say it's strange because I don't normally have dreams with an abundance of people I know, but this time it was really only people I knew. So it starts, I'm doing dishes in the kitchen and I have extremely long, jet black hair. Abbey, a girl I knew in high school, comes up and starts rolling them into horrible, knot and tangled Princess Leia buns on my head and so I go to the bathroom to brush them out. While I'm brushing my hair in the mirror, I realize I'm beautiful. Like, I know I'm attractive, but this was like... Victoria Secret bombshell beautiful. I smile because I think that's a good thing and put leave in conditioner in my hair, just a little, so there aren't so many obvious split ends and static from the brush.
I go back to where the party is being held (and at some point I had a conversation with Heather, a girl who was my best friend in high school and I'm very short and distant with her) and I see my cousin Olivia sitting with another girl who has the same features as me; black hair, angular face, glasses, but I think she isn't as beautiful as me. Olivia is infatuated with her and I feel shafted because Olivia is my best friend, but I figure we'll never see this girl again and it's just a 'new thing' infatuation so I have nothing to worry about and I let her be. Ally, Olivia's younger sister, asks me if I have a condom, which is strange to me in my dream because A) Ally is very young in my dream and B) I know Ally is a lesbian. I make a noise anyway to tease her and she says it isn't for sex, it's for some masturbation thing and while I'm listening, I'm scribbling on my cigarette, which is checkered purple and green, to make it less noticeable and also because I don't have a lighter and, even though everyone's lighters are all gathered on one table in a pile, I think it would be rude to just use one and I don't want to look rude in front of the girl Olivia is talking to.
I need to get a car.
I need to get an apartment.
I need to start looking for a job with opportunity.
I need to start writing a book seriously.
I really think building a routine around that last one is key. I need to find a time I will always be home and designate an hour to writing. Or at least trying to. Disconnect the internet (and at this point my laptop is so shitty it hardly runs internet anyway) and just stare at a word document and struggle through something until it starts to work. I can't just have ideas in my head anymore. There are too many.
In other news I had a strange dream. And I say it's strange because I don't normally have dreams with an abundance of people I know, but this time it was really only people I knew. So it starts, I'm doing dishes in the kitchen and I have extremely long, jet black hair. Abbey, a girl I knew in high school, comes up and starts rolling them into horrible, knot and tangled Princess Leia buns on my head and so I go to the bathroom to brush them out. While I'm brushing my hair in the mirror, I realize I'm beautiful. Like, I know I'm attractive, but this was like... Victoria Secret bombshell beautiful. I smile because I think that's a good thing and put leave in conditioner in my hair, just a little, so there aren't so many obvious split ends and static from the brush.
I go back to where the party is being held (and at some point I had a conversation with Heather, a girl who was my best friend in high school and I'm very short and distant with her) and I see my cousin Olivia sitting with another girl who has the same features as me; black hair, angular face, glasses, but I think she isn't as beautiful as me. Olivia is infatuated with her and I feel shafted because Olivia is my best friend, but I figure we'll never see this girl again and it's just a 'new thing' infatuation so I have nothing to worry about and I let her be. Ally, Olivia's younger sister, asks me if I have a condom, which is strange to me in my dream because A) Ally is very young in my dream and B) I know Ally is a lesbian. I make a noise anyway to tease her and she says it isn't for sex, it's for some masturbation thing and while I'm listening, I'm scribbling on my cigarette, which is checkered purple and green, to make it less noticeable and also because I don't have a lighter and, even though everyone's lighters are all gathered on one table in a pile, I think it would be rude to just use one and I don't want to look rude in front of the girl Olivia is talking to.