I'm supposed to be a reasonable adult...
One of these days I probably have to sit down and talk to my brother again. I keep thinking that he's somehow going to convince himself that the reason I'm not exactly wanting to have anything to do with him is because of the new girlfriend and conveniently forget that I pretty much stopped talking to him like five or six months before they got together. I know if I'm waiting for an apology or something I'll be waiting forever unless we do talk and I explain things, but at the moment I'm still kind of okay with waiting for him to get it on his own. I know he genuinely wants the best for me and all, but we have very different attitudes about some things and sometimes he can be an unthinking asshole (a bit like me really).
In all honesty the girlfriend thing is a part of why I'm staying away just now. I don't really care that much about it, but in principle I just don't think it's a good idea to move together with someone after you've been dating for three weeks in any circumstances, but especially not when there's kids in the mix. And if I try having an honest talk with my brother I might just get pissed at him again and express that opinion in ways I probably shouldn't. But avoiding them might be complicating the issue even more, because she might think I have a problem with her (which is totally not the case). Or you know, I might just be overthinking the whole thing.
But seriously last time I saw them I refused to even look at her, I mean what sort of impression does that give? I was just upset at my brother and didn't want to say anything that'd end up insulting her as well. Unfortunately I know a lot of the stupid shit she got up to back when her drinking got a bit out of hand and I'm not one to think before I speak when I get angry. Shit, I don't hold any of that against her I was having a serious run of stupid around those times myself (and I can't even really blame alcohol, not that that's much of an excuse anyway), not to mention that my brother spent like five years or something being drunk most of the time. Oh, and there's the part where I now find myself kind of regretting the fact that I was always too considerate (or just too selfconscious) to take her up on the offer to do anything more than just make out occasionally, she was drunk after all and I wasn't. Maybe just as well considering the current situation. But yeah, I would understand if she ended up thinking that I have problem with her. And maybe she's never even given it a thought, how the heck would I know.
The sensible thing would be to just go for a visit when she's home alone with the kids. I can totally be reasonable when my brother isn't there, besides I kind of miss my nieces. I don't even really like kids, but for three months this year I probably spent more time with them than either of their parents and they kind of grew on me.
This really isn't the entry I set out to write, but... I guess I really felt like saying something about all of that stuff.