家
Title: 家
Rating: PG-13
Length: 8491w
Warning/s: mpreg, slight mentions of homophobia, bad grammar skillz and excessive fluff. Beware
Summary: The one where Luhan worries too much and Joonmyun is more than ready for a new addition into their little home.
Notes: Forgot to mention that texts from Luhan's notes are from songs. In their respective order: Falling Slowly cover by Youngmin from BOYFRIEND, 500 miles by The Proclaimers, Ichiban no Takaramono by Lisa from GDM. Title is jia meaning home/family :3
When Joonmyun wakes up, it's to a small paper airplane placed beside his pillow, right where Luhan would normally be sleeping. It's been three years but it never fails to make Joonmyun blush and squirm in bed from the warmth and love he felt for his husband. He picks the paper airplane up and unfolds it gently, so he can refold it without getting confused. It's been five years and Joonmyun still isn't 100% sure how to fold a paper airplane.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
Joonmyun giggles at Luhan's chicken scrawl and refolds the paper airplane before leaving the bed. He treads with light footsteps into the kitchen where he can hear the sound of pots and pans being moved around. Taking aim, he threw the paper airplane hitting Luhan directly between the eyes. Luhan lets out a yelp of surprise, dropping the pan he was holding on to his foot.
And, really, Joonmyun should be making sure he's ok and that there are no broken toes but he can't help the peal of laughter that breaks out at the sight of Luhan's face. It isn't long before Luhan gets his revenge, however. As soon as his foot stops throbbing, Luhan picks up a cupful of the pancake mix he was going to use to make them breakfast, instead, dumping it on Joonmyun's head.
"Ha! Take that!" Luhan shouts triumphantly. Joonmyun peers up at him, top half of his face smudged in white powder, with the cutest pout and Luhan doesn't hesitate to follow his instinct to kiss it away. Their lips are chapped and Joonmyun still hasn't had a chance to brush his teeth, but it's still pleasant, still lovely. Luhan could probably kiss Joonmyun forever. He reaches down, pulling at Joonmyun's left hand just to feel the wedding band on his finger. He has forever.
They slowly pull apart, eyes fluttering open. Luhan stares, expression soft, at how pretty Joonmyun is despite the bed hair and cake mix decorating him. He lifts the hand not intertwined with Joonmyun's to wipe some of the mix off his cheek.
"So pretty," Luhan mumbles. Even under all the powder, Joonmyun's blushing cheeks could be seen. "The prettiest." He drops down to give Joonmyun a lingering kiss, his hand tilting Joonmyun's head for the perfect angle. He licks at Joonmyun's mouth until he's opening up for him. There's no rush, no urgency, just the slow slide of Luhan's tongue tasting everything and Joonmyun taking, taking, taking.
The moment is ruined when Joonmyun's stomach lets out a loud rumbling. They break apart, laughing.
"We should probably eat before we make ourselves late for work." Luhan ruffles Joonmyun's hair sending white powder flying every which way.
"No homemade breakfast in bed."
"And whose fault is that?" Luhan only grins in response, eyes bright even at the break of dawn.
"How about I drive us over the cafe on the way to your school for a quick breakfast and I can drop you off after? It's been awhile since I got to take you out."
"What if you get called in overtime again and can't pick me up?"
"Then I shall send a chariot with the finest horses to pick you up and bring you home." Joonmyun bursts into laughter. "Nothing but the best for my prince." Luhan bows with flourish sending Joonmyun into another peal of laughter.
"Ok, ok. I get it. Come on, help me get washed up so we can go to this cafe and eat. I'm starving."
"Of course, Your Highness. I am at your service." Still chortling, they both slipp into the cramped bathroom in their apartment. It's not that they can't afford a bigger apartment. Luhan makes more than enough being a well known OB/GYN at the local hospital. Joonmyun keeps his job out of pure enjoyment of being a teacher to a room full of toddlers. He always was weak when it came to cute things. Together, they could've afforded a bigger apartment, or a spacious house, with separate rooms for kitchen and dining. But this had been the apartment they rented together when Luhan had been a med student and Joonmyun had just received his teaching certification. It had been all they could afford but it was more than enough.
It still is, Joonmyun thinks as Luhan takes care in removing all the pancake mix from his hair. They wash quickly, the clock already past six. Joonmyun has to be at the school by 7:15 to prepare the classroom. Luhan didn't have to clock in at the hospital until eight, so he loves to tease Joonmyun. Shush him with kisses whenever he urges them to hurry. Joonmyun should be mad but Luhan just gives the best kisses and he can't help but give in to that cherubic smile.
By the time they are inside the car, ready to go, it is fifteen minutes till seven and Joonmyun is huffing, making sure Luhan notices how upset he is.
"I swear, we'll make it in time. The traffic isn't even that bad, Myunnie." Luhan reaches over and pulls at Joonmyun's hand until they're laced together.
"We better," Joonmyun grumbles, feeling what little anger he feels at Luhan melt away. Amber is right. He is hopeless.
The drive to the cafe is short, mostly because Luhan is speeding to make sure Joonmyun makes it in time. After parking the car in front of Luhan’s favorite cafe, he immediately starts dragging Joonmyun inside, always eager at just the smell of coffee.
"Let's sit by the window," Luhan suggests. Joonmyun shrugs in agreement, not really caring so long as he gets his belly filled soon.
"Wait here. I'll go order and come right back." Luhan leaves but not before dropping a quick kiss on Joonmyun's cheeks leaving him a blushing, stuttering mess at the table.
He returns shortly with a steaming cup of white chocolate mocha and a cinnamon raisin bagel for Joonmyun and, for himself. an iced americano and croissant sandwich.
"All the sugars for you. Can't have the kids running you over in the classroom now, can we?" Joonmyun snorts. As if his precious kids would ever. They're too cute for such evil.
"I don't know, Myunnie. I deal with them before they're even born and, even then, they're capable of much evil." Joonmyun snorts in disbelief before taking a large bite of his bagel. The rest of the meal passed on in comfortable silence, content with just having food to fill their stomachs.
Exactly at seven, Joonmyun is pulling a begrudging Luhan along to the car.
"But I don't want to let you go~ Just a few more minutes, Myuuuun."
"No. I must go to work. My children."
"You know they're not actually your children, right?" Luhan teases. Joonmyun, however, stays silent his expression distant. "Myun? Do you actually want..." Joonmyun seems to snap out of his daze. He smiles at Luhan and pats his hand.
"Later," is all he says. Joonmyun's smile never falters, so Luhan tucks away the bit of information to the back of his mind to process. Later.
Luhan drops Joonmyun off at the school gates. It's still too early for most parents to be dropping off their kids, teachers only just trickling in. Before Joonmyun gets out, Luhan pulls him in for a swift kiss to the cheek.
"Have a good day! I'll see you after work. Promise," Luhan whispers into his cheek. Joonmyun can't stop the silly smile from spreading on his face at the sweet words. He pecks Luhan on the lips in farewell. It's been three years but Joonmyun doesn't think he'll ever get enough of Luhan.
❣❣❣
Luhan steps into his office not long after. The nurses greet him politely before getting back to work, their hushed chatter reaching him even as he walks. He is one of the few homosexuals doctors so he's used to it. The whispers, the stares. It doesn't bother him though. He has Joonmyun and they don't. That's all he needs, he hums to himself.
He fiddles around with the diagnostic sheets. He doesn't get many patients so he already has most of this information memorized. Blood type A. 5'6". Just entering her fifth month of pregnancy, Victoria Song. Luhan briefly wonders if her family will accompany her. It's been awhile since he's seen little Henry. A knock interrupts his thoughts.
"Your first patient is ready to see you, Dr. Han." Luhan straightens his stethoscope before leaving to the designated room. Victoria is already sitting down on the bed, feet swinging as she waits. Zhou Mi is beside her, two year old Henry fast asleep in his arms.
"Hello, Mrs. Song," Luhan greets formally.
"How many times do I have to tell you? You can just call me jie. I see you more than the family doctor and even he calls me by my first name. You wound me, Lu." He laughs softly at her exaggerated pout. He turns to greet Zhou Mi as well, ruffling Henry's hair careful not to disturb his sleep.
"So, how are you feeling? Have Henry and Mimi been giving you trouble?"
"Oh, you know how Mimi is, ever the gentleman. Henry is a whole other story. Half the time, he's crying about how he doesn't want to be a big brother."
"I'm sure that'll all change once he gets to meet her. If you could please step this way iie so we can see how baby's doing."
"Fei. We decided to name her Fei."
"Such a cute name. Let's check up on Fei then and make sure she's doing okay."
❣❣❣
They day passed by quickly afterwards. Patients came and left. Some, like Luna and Sulli, nervous with anticipation of having their first baby, and others, like Victoria and Zhou Mi, veterans in the field and eager for the new addition in their family.
Luhan finds his day ending early with all the pregnancies going along well and in perfect health. With workshops taking over the rest of his week schedule, Luhan wants to enjoy the few breaths of free time spoiling Joonmyun. He picks up a blank piece of paper and snatches a pen from his desk, blue this time, and writes down the first lyrics that come to his head.
When I'm working, yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
He tucks it into his lab coat. He'll just fold it in the car when he picks up Joonmyun. If he gets there early enough, he might even get to surprise Joonmyun inside his classroom. Carrying the mental image of a surprised Joonmyun, Luhan quickly bids everyone a goodbye, all but running to his car. I'm a genius~
The drive to Joonmyun's school only takes half an hour having beat the school traffic hours despite the stop at a flower shop to buy a bouquet. He quickly folds the note into a paper airplane and nestles it in between the flowers. He takes a peek at his reflection in the rear view mirror. Can't be looking bad in front of the kids.
Once all the stray hairs are settled, Luhan slips out with the gifts and heads into the front lobby of the school. Inside, a beautiful display of cut out bunnies and large trees decorate the doors of the school with the words "Read to Grow" tucked between two magenta trees, greet Luhan. Parallel to the entrance was the front office. Guests had to come and sign in before they could enter through the second set of double doors. By now Luhan is such a familiar face that as soon as he walks in the secretaries greet him with enthusiastic smiles.
"What brings our favorite Casanova to visit this time? Your anniversary was two weeks ago," Tiffany, one of the secretaries, teases. Luhan laughs, hands reaching for the I.D. badge already set aside ready for him.
"Oh you know. Just trying to keep the flame going."
"Shhh, careful. Don't want any of the students to hear you," Tiffany whispers, instantly breaking into her infamous eye smile. Luhan returns the gesture as he signs in the visitor log book.
"You might want to hurry," Kyungsoo, the other secretary, interrupts. "Dismissal is in fifteen minutes and Joonmyun is probably getting the kids ready to leave." Luhan throws a salute at Kyungsoo before slipping in through the double doors. Down the left hallway is where all the Kinder through second grade classrooms are located. At the very end of the hallway is Joonmyun's classroom.
Mr. Han. Luhan likes how it looks on the door. Giant block letters spelling out their shared name, cutouts of little minions surrounding it with little bubbles of speech filled with the scribbles of the kindergartners.
He quietly opens the door, not wanting to give himself away just yet. The students don't even bat an eyelash at him too busy running up to their teacher for their end of day stickers.
"A flower for you, Jongin, for being an extra good line leader and keeping your area super clean!" Jongin whispers a tiny 'Thank you, Mr. Han" wrapping his tiny arms around Joonmyun's knees. Luhan's mind races to earlier when Joonmyun had hinted at wanting. And, maybe, he could want that future too. Tiny little kids carrying a mish mash of their genes. But Luhan isn't here for that. As Jongin leaves to show off his flower sticker to his friends, Luhan slides up to Joonmyun shoving the bouquet in his face.
"For my love," Luhan drags out the last word just to hear the kids squeal and squirm in disgust. Joonmyun playfully scowls at Luhan, the pretty pretty blush dusting his cheeks. Success.
"Alright class, sit down."
"Yes, Mr. Han," the children chorus as they slip into their chairs, still giggling.
"I'm waiting for my good students to show me how we sit properly so we can line up to leave." As if under a spell, the children all folding their hands and putting bubbles in their mouths, puffing out their cheeks, making them the strangest mix of cute and serious.
Luhan waits quietly by Joonmyun's desk while his husband calls out table by table for the children to line up with their over-sized backpacks. Once everyone is done, Joonmyun turns to Luhan and whispers, "Just wait here. I'll be back after dropping the kids off at the gym for dismissal." Luhan nods and the kids at the back of the line closest to them let out a trickle of giggles. Joonmyun shoots them a mock glare that has them back into their proper line position with backs straight, hands behind their back.
"OK, Jongin. Let's go down to the gym." Jongin walks out the door with his head high and the rest of the kids followed silently with Joonmyun at the rear, watching them with a gentle expression. One Luhan has only ever seen him use in his classroom reserved just for his kids.
Maybe, maybe....
Luhan is flipping through the drawings from the children Joonmyun has scattered all over his desk when he returns. Luhan had taken the liberty of attempting to organize the mess that is on Joonmyun's desk but he can only go through so many papers filled with doodles before he felt like quitting.
"You made it on time," Joonmyun comments, smile bright on his face.
"Told you I wouldn't be late."
"And you even got me flowers and a paper airplane too." Luhan itches to kiss Joonmyun what with such a tender expression on his face, but he remembers where they are and stays seated. He waits for Joonmyun to finish reading the little note, waits for that soft soft soft look as he cautiously refolds the paper airplane, finally reaching as Joonmyun extends his hand, ready to leave.
They wind up inside a bookstore, Joonmyun dragging Luhan muttering about needing to buy more books for the children. Luhan sighs fondly and lets himself be ushered into the pleasant stillness that can only be found at bookstores. Luhan lets Joonmyun peruse through the children's book section, going off, instead, in search of a novel Joonmyun had been raving about before bed sometime last week.
He finds the book and is just about to reach for it when much smaller hands snatch it away. Luhan turns, ready to fight for the last copy when he spots the familiar face.
"Sulli?" She blinks up at him before recognition finally seems to hit and she's waving enthusiastically at him. Taking a closer look, Luhan can see deep bags under her eyes and her skin looks paler than it did this morning.
"How are the baby and Luna doing?" Luhan asks methodically, his doctor mindset already at the forefront. Sulli's smile falls for a minute before returning.
"They're doing well. Luna's morning sickness has just been acting up a bit. She spent the past two hours in the bathroom puking but she's calmed down now. She was the one who sent me here actually. Said she wanted a good book to forget the bad taste in her mouth." She looks down at the book, hand stroking the spine. "Only problem is I can't tell apart a good book from a bad one." Sulli's laugh sounds strained but sincere.
"My...husband would probably recommend the book you're holding. Says it's good and has been on his to-read list," Luhan says cautiously. Feet treading on dangerous waters. He knows Sulli won't judge, married to Luna and having their first baby, but saying that word in public still feels strange. Society has changed but people still continue to look down on them. Luhan had to fight tooth and nail to claim the position he's in and, sometimes, he just wishes it weren't so hard for him to reach out and hold Joonmyun's hand without the bitter hissing and whispering following them around.
Sulli grabs his hand and squeezes, expression bright on her face.
"Thank you. I'm sure Luna will love it and I hope...I wish you and your husband all the happiness. He must be a sweet man to have someone like you by his side." Luhan snorts. He is the lucky one. He gets to call an angel his.
"Speaking of, I should probably go find him before he buys every book in the kids section. But if Luna's morning sickness keeps getting worse then please bring her by the office. It might be hyperemesis gravidarum." Sulli salutes in affirmation before wishing Luhan a good day and leaving. The book will just have to wait until next time.
He finds Joonmyun juggling five different books, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Just on time. Luhan takes two of the book titles and places them back on the shelf.
"Hey," Joonmyun protests weakly.
"I think three is more than enough. No need to buy them the whole bookstore." Luhan is pushing Joonmyun until he starts walking reluctantly towards the cashier.
"But it was only five..." He pinches Joonmyun's side causing his pout to deepen. He could almost feel the pout against his lips from all the times he's kissed them away. They pay for the books and sit outside a nearby cafe, Luhan more than ready for his fourth cup of caffeine for the day. Joonmyun shoots him a disapproving look as he sits with an americano and green tea in hand. He sheepishly hands Joonmyun the green tea avoiding all eye contact.
"So! What was the thing you wanted to talk about?" Luhan starts eyes glued to his black, black americano. Joonmyun shifts in his seat and leans forward. Luhan can't help but drown himself in Joonmyun's bright, bright eyes as they sparkle in anticipation. In joy.
"Let's have a baby." Luhan lets the idea settle in his head, stretch it out until he sees Joonmyun, pregnant Joonmyun, the size of Luna. He's frowning now because morning sickness. Aches and pains in the joints, the back. Complications he's seen happen to too many people, good people. His department is filled with blooming miracles but sometimes the devil liked to drop by and leave nasty little presents for his patients.
Joonmyun can see it. The worry, fear, stark on Luhan's face. His smile falters but he barrels ahead, his tiny hands grasping onto Luhan's.
"Listen, Luhan. Just listen. If anything bad were to happen-" Luhan's hands tighten their grip, frown tight on his face, "if anything did happen you'll be there. I know you'll take care of me and I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, too. Think about it. You and I, we'd make the best parents ever. You know all the science stuff and I know how to take care of kids. I've been teaching them for three years now. Please, please, please tell me you'll at least think about it." Joonmyun's pout is back. Luhan huffs already feeling his walls cracking under that cute face.
"Why not me then?" Luhan asks. "What if I get pregnant? That way if anything bad were to happen it would happen to me and you'd be safe..."
"Luhan," he scolds. "If that's your reason for getting pregnant then no."
"But, Myun-"
"The answer is no, Luhan." Joonmyun's scowl is still firmly in place and Luhan feels all the fight leave his body.
"Why do you want to be pregnant?" Luhan asks instead. Joonmyun blinks, quiet for a minute as he seems to gather his thoughts. Then a fond, slow smile forms on his face, hands squeezing.
"Because I want to. I just think of carrying something we created and I," Joonmyun beams. "It makes me happy. So so happy, Luhan. And thinking about all the months to come as the baby grows inside me and - and how the baby will start kicking and wiggling around as it's almost time for it to come out. Singing to him or her every night, you have the sweetest voice, Luhan, and imagine the time off I'd get off from work on maternity laugh." They both laugh at the thought, maternity leave having just gotten extended to males only years after the discovery that, yes, males can make one another pregnant. "Although, you could probably do more with the vacation than me." Luhan shakes his head, quickly dismissing the silly idea.
"You really want this, don't you?"
"Yes!"
"I-" Luhan pauses. He's never really been hesitant but he can't help it. He knows too much of the consequences, the good, the bad, the ugly. He wants nothing but the best for Joonmyun. He thinks back on Sulli, face waned in stress, worry. He also remembers Victoria and her family, basking in joy from having their first child and now getting ready for their second.
"OK." Luhan finds himself saying. "OK. But I need a little bit of time- we're gonna need a bigger house and-" He is interrupted by a pair of very soft, warm lips covering his own, whispering thank yous, I love yous with every glide. Luhan grins, quickly taking the charge of the kiss, deepening it, hands curling up to cradle Joonmyun's cheeks. The whispers are washed out from the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears. Nothing matters but Joonmyun, his, mine, Joonmyun.
❣❣❣
The search for a new house takes them months and by the time they finally find The One, winter break is around the corner. Joonmyun finds himself slouching in his teacher seat as his children squeal excitedly about their letters to Santa Clause. As drained as he feels, he still can't help but know he’ll miss the kids in the upcoming two weeks. A soft knock at the door and Joonmyun is up and clapping his hands.
"Alright, friends, It's time to clean up and get ready to get home." He walks to the door and opens it to find Baekhyun and Amber.
"I just have to walk them to the gym for dismissal. You guys can wait here and I'll be right back."
"Sure thing, Joonie!" Baekhyun slips past him leaving Amber to shoot him an apologetic smile.
"You know how he is." Joonmyun shakes his head.
"You two are helping with the moving. Putting up with him is the least I can do."
"That's the spirit!" Amber laughs as they walk back into the classroom. The children enthusiastically greet their music and gymnastics teacher before looking at Joonmyun for approval.
"Wow! Look at how spotless this room is! I might have to give everyone a sticker if you guys get in line quietly." There's an excited hush as the children quickly scramble to get into place without speaking. Baekhyun and Amber wave him off when he leads his students out the door and into the hallway.
The children remain exemplary the entire walk to the gym. Not one gets out of line or lets out a stray giggle. Not even Chanyeol and Jihoon are playing around, eyes glued to the back of the person in front of them’s head. It's not like Joonmyun isn't going to give all of them stickers anyways, what with the holidays coming up, but seeing them all do their best unlike the older children running into the gym; it made his heart swell and wish he had brought more than just a handful of smelly stickers.
When they come back, I'll have something special planned then, Joonmyun thinks. He dismisses the children after handing each of them a sticker only to have them all cluster around his legs in a group hug.
It's with an overflowing heart that Joonmyun walks back into his classroom. He had forgotten all about Amber and Baekhyun until he spots them on the floor playing with the wooden blocks at the back of the classroom.
"Ahem." Amber and Baekhyun both jump in surprise. Baekhyun recovers fairly quickly and comes up to Joonmyun, beaming.
"Finally ready, softie?" Joonmyun snorts at the nickname.
"You're just helping us move boxes."
"And a couch or two." Joonmyun shoves Baekhyun out the door, Amber trailing after them as she tries, and fails, to hide her laughter.
Turns out it was more than boxes and a couch (or two) that Luhan and Joonmyun need help moving. There's the television set ("Have either of you ever heard of flat screen TVs? I swear they don't kill your back like this one!" Baekhyun proclaims. Luhan shuts him up with the threat of dropping it on his toes), the bookshelves, the refrigerator, the bed frame, the mattress and, ok, Joonmyun probably shouldn't have lied to Amber and Baekhyun about there being just boxes but neither of them would have agreed to help otherwise.
"I am officially debunking you from friends into the co-worker group on my phone," Amber declares, voice breathy from exertion.
"I second this notion," Baekhyun weakly proclaims from his place on the living room floor. They were all on the floor. There is still an army of boxes waiting to be unpacked, and the furniture is thrown around in absolute chaos but it's inside and that's all that matters.
"Thank you, coworkers of Joonmyun." Baekhyun grunts in reply. Luhan offers to buy everyone pizza and Joonmyun finds himself back in the friend zone after the free food arrives. They eat quietly, recharging their batteries before they can even think to sort through the mess that is their house. Their home. Joonmyun warms at the thought of the new spare room at the end of the hallway right next to their master bedroom. Perfect. Baekhyun and Amber leave shortly after the important boxes containing the necessities are unpacked.
"Call us if you guys need anymore help!"
"Preferably help that just involves boxes this time!" The sound of Amber's hand coming into contact with Baekhyun's skull reaches them and they burst into laughter, grateful for their friendship.
Joonmyun stretches and walks back into the house. He is thankful they moved the bed in first, something warm and familiar to sleep the exhaustion away.
"And where do you think you're going?" Luhan whispers, pulling him back until his back softly presses against Luhan's chest. His breath is ticklish against Joonmyun's neck but his hands are warm where they lay against his hips, rubbing soothing circles.
"Bed. To sleep. You?" Joonmyun can feel the pout Luhan has against his neck and it shouldn't send shivers down his spine. It's been three years and he still knows all the right buttons to push.
"But we still have to christen our new home," Luhan whines.
"Lu, we don't even have things out to christen yet."
"The dining table is up." Joonmyun turns and looks Luhan straight in the eye.
"Fine but we're using your shirt to clean up. God knows what box has all the towels."
"Deal!" It should worry Joonmyun just how mischievous and devilish(ly handsome) Luhan looks but he's distracted by the lips on his and the hands tracing patterns on the skin under his sweater. He thinks for a second why not just christen the bed? but they say it's better to save the best for last so Joonmyun lets himself get lost in the heated touches on the rough, hardwood and worry about everything else in the morning.
❣❣❣
Except, things don't always go as planned and it's month number seven with still no baby in sight. Joonmyun is torn between jumping Luhan every time he sees him and curling up in his arms crying for hours because why why why why can't I get pregnant, Luhan?
Luhan wishes he had an answer, something, a concrete explanation of why when he's been taking all his vitamins and eating healthy just like Luhan prescribed. He tries to cheer him up by filling his paper airplanes with lyrics of love, of better tomorrows and sunshine and cuddling. Sometimes it works. Joonmyun holds on to the airplanes and takes it with him to work, leaving it on the dashboard of his car. Other times, Luhan finds them crumpled in tiny balls near or in the trash can and those moments hurt the most. He knows Joonmyun has a box for all the airplanes since their college days stored away somewhere and to see them tossed aside...
But they keep trying and the world keeps turning. Victoria and Zhoumi stop by the hospital one day to visit, Fei tucked away in her baby carriage. Luhan is grateful to see their faces. It has been a long day, Sulli and Luna's premature baby has finally stabilized and his new patient, Seulgi, has been improving after the rocky start in her pregnancy.
"Henry, Henry say hi to Lu-ge." Henry lets out an incoherent gurgle making Luhan laugh.
"I swear, he talks just fine when we're home," Victoria fusses, hands pinching her son's cheeks. Henry hides from his mother's hands by tucking his face into her neck.
"I'm taking it things are going well at home, then?" Zhoumi nods and launches into a tirade of just how well things are now that they have two little minions and double the mess but the tenderness in his eyes never wavers. Luhan can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Someday.
"Were you on your way out?"
"Ah, yea. I was going to leave in a bit to pick up Joonmyun actually. School is starting soon and he's been attending workshops all week. Figure I'd take him out somewhere nice to eat."
"Or you could just take him back home and offer to massage his feet or back rub," Victoria suggests. "Sometimes it's the simple things that make a greater gesture."
"Yea. I can do that. Thanks, jiě!" He shoots them a grateful smile before he's spilling out goodbyes, speed walking out the door and into his car. Time for a quick trip to the grocery store.
The candle lit dinner and oil massage turn out worse than expected. Luhan knocks over the candle and almost sets the house on fire. Then, when Luhan offers to massage Joonmyun's feet, they had both somehow conveniently forgotten how ticklish Joonmyun was there and it quickly ended with him apologizing over and over again for kicking Luhan in the face. All in all, Luhan still considers it a victory when he and Joonmyun are laying on the couch laughing over how ridiculous the whole situation had been. They decide to stick to cuddling while watching a movie. Best to play it safe.
Like this, with Joonmyun soft and warm in his arms, Luhan feels like he's stepped right into the gates of heaven. His perfect little angel, he thinks as he drops kisses on Joonmyun's nape. He shifts unconsciously, giving Luhan more space, more skin to bite into and lavish. Luhan lets out a groan at the taste of his husband and Joonmyun finds himself getting more and more distracted from the movie. It isn't long before Luhan's hands slip under his shirt touching everywhere; torso, stomach, ribs, teasingly along his hips.
"Luhan," Joonmyun moans softly.
"I love you." That's all it takes for Joonmyun to turn around and steal Luhan's breath in a searing kiss, the movie playing forgotten in the background.
❣❣❣
The signs are subtle. Joonmyun avoids all yellow food saying it makes him feel queasy. Then a week or so after, it's the smells.
"Luhan, can we leave? I'm really not feeling well."
"But you haven't had breakfast. At least buy something to drink so you can stay hydrated."
"Lu, I really don't want anything to drink right now. I just wanna go. Or puke. Probably both." Joonmyun winces and Luhan finds himself ushering a very ill husband into the restroom, helpless as he empties out yesterday's dinner in the bathroom stall.
"Joonmyun. Joonmyun, Joonmyun, Joonmyun!"
"What, what Luhan?" Joonmyun is irritated, can taste the bile at the back of his throat, and he can still smell the stupid coffee that upset his stomach in the first place.
"It's happening," Luhan whispers in awe, eyes brighter than Joonmyun ever remembers them being. Oh. Oh.
Three pregnancy tests later (two extra just to be reallly really sure) and Joonmyun is still in disbelief. But the two pink lines don't lie, not three times in a row. Luhan is ecstatic, barely stopping himself from jumping all over the place by how still Joonmyun is. Luhan cradles his face and forces him to look make eye contact.
"We did it, Myun! We're having a baby!"
"A...baby?"
"Our baby." Joonmyun blinks, sudden tears cascading down his cheeks. Their child. After months and months of trying they were finally going to have a baby. Luhan holds him close, Joonmyun clinging back, tears of joy wetting both their cheeks. Now the real journey begins, Luhan thinks. They'd have to find a doctor, go to all the appointments, deal with all the shift in hormones, baby proof their home, think of a name...
"I love you," Joonmyun whispers into Luhan's shoulder, the tears finally subsiding.
"I love you, too."
❣❣❣
Luhan didn't waste any time in pulling all the strings to get Joonmyun the best local doctor he could find.
"I still don't get why you can't be my doctor." Joonmyun is pouting but Luhan's too preoccupied inputting the hospital's address into the car's GPS system.
"Because, Myunnie, I'm an OB/GYN," Luhan stresses the last three letters. "You need to see an obstetrician but, more specifically, an andrologist. I'm an obstetrician whose main focus is gynecology which is all about the female sexual reproduction and all that jazz. You're not a female, Myun, and there's only so much I know and can help with." Joonmyun is surprised at the concern, heavy in Luhan's voice.
"I'll be ok, Lu. I have you to take care of me. And whoever this wonderful doctor is. There's nothing to worry about." Except there is. Luhan's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even if you do everything right things can still go wrong.
"Luhan," Joonmyun calls out softly. He turns to look at him eyebrows still furrowed creating a crease on his forehead. "It's gonna be ok. As long as we have each other, that's more than enough." Luhan nods, bringing Joonmyun's hand to his lips kissing the back of his hand.
They reach the hospital not long after, on the opposite side of the city from Luhan's but still close enough that the drive feels relatively short. A nurse quickly ushers them into a room, walls a relaxing hue of blue. Joonmyun's favorite color. There's a soft knock on the door and a short man with cat like eyes and the fluffiest cheeks Luhan has ever seen enters. Introductions are made and Joonmyun learns that his name is Dr. Minseok.
"I take it you two are first time parents?" Minseok ventures. Joonmyun blinks up at him in surprise. "I haven't seen either of you two around and I'm the only obstetrician in town who can help you guys." They nod, Luhan's hands rubbing soothing circles on Joonmyun's lower back. This is it. "So who's the lucky one?" Joonmyun shyly steps forward and steps onto the hard bed, crinkling the strip of paper covering it.
"I don't know who's luckier: you for having the baby or you for having such an angel by your side to start a family with." Wait, what? Joonmyun is blushing and giggling, protesting, claiming to be the lucky one for having Luhan by his side.
"Can we get on with the physical?" Luhan grunts. Minseok smiles easily.
"Yes, lets. If you can please take off your clothes, Joonmyun, and put on the patient gown, please. Then we can start with a pelvic exam and work from there. We want to make sure you are in perfectly good health for yours and the baby's sake." As soon as Minseok leaves the room to give them privacy, Luhan whirls around.
"I don't like him." He pouts.
"Oh, Luhan, so he flirts a little? Nothing wrong with getting appreciated by someone you're married to and has to love you no matter what. Now help me get out of these pants so we can get the tests over with quickly." Luhan gawks at his husband only moving after Joonmyun whines from under his sweater. Luhan had already taken care of most of the exams, having dragged Joonmyun into his office one weekend, taking care when performing the blood work and urine exam. But the pelvic exam, he could do with in his sleep on women. On men, he wouldn't even know where to begin. And now Minseok was going to have a go at poking around Joonmyun's lower body.
Minseok knocks before slipping back inside. He instructs Joonmyun on how to lay back with Luhan's support and to spread his legs, please. Joonmyun pinches his side to get him to stop scowling because of course he knows what expression Luhan would have without needing to turn around. Luhan controls his face muscles the best he can with the sight of Minseok's hands disappearing into Joonmyun's gown swimming before his eyes. He tries. He fails. He doesn't miss the pink on Joonmyun's cheeks either, though he suspects those are more from embarrassment than anything else. His patients have often told him the first time is always remembered with a shade of embarrassment.
After what felt like grueling hours of enduring another man touching his husband, Minseok finally relents beaming at them both about what perfect health condition Joonmyun's body is in, leaving them again shortly after to give them some privacy. Luhan helps hand Joonmyun his clothes as he slowly redresses. Joonmyun's whole body is tingling, nerves afire, they're having a baby!. His happiness is infectious and it isn't long before Luhan's grinning too, so hard his cheeks start to hurt but Joonmyun's eyes are twinkling and maybe he can put up with Minseok for another thirty weeks. Maybe.
❣❣❣
Months pass by in a similar pattern. Morning sickness peaks and recedes. Luhan finds himself more familiar than he ever thought he would be with the snacks section in the grocery store. He's even on first name basis with the cashier who's shift ends at 3 am.
Luhan has his head nestled on top of Joonmyun's protruding stomach. Seven months. Amost there, he thinks as his fingers trace random patterns on Joonmyun's bare skin.
"Can you not do that? It tickles," Joonmyun giggles. He squirms a bit and Luhan wraps his arm around his waist, determined to keep cuddling their baby.
"Who do you think the baby is going to look like?" Luhan asks after a period of silent cuddling. Joonmyun hums in thought.
"I hope the baby gets your smile. And your cute little ears, too." Joonmyun makes a noise of embarrassment. It's too easy for Luhan to picture the blush probably spread all over Joonmyun's face.
"Then the baby has to have your eyes," Joonmyun declared.
"Do you think it'll like sports?" Luhan muses.
"I hope so. Then, at least, you'll have someone to play with." Luhan looks up at Joonmyun's apologetic face. He moves up the bed until he's hovering over Joonmyun. Without a word, he takes a taste of Joonmyun's lips, wanting to wash that face away. Smile. Always smile. You always make me want to smile. Luhan urges every word down Joonmyun's throat, Joonmyun responding easily, hands twisting in the fabric of his shirt. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Luhan doesn't stop until his head is spinning from the lack of oxygen in his brain. He looks down at Joonmyun, all round edges and tenderness shining through his eyes. He could have forever with him and it would never be enough time to appreciate everything Joonmyun.
He slides down to lay down next to Joonmyun, hand moving back to rest on his stomach. Joonmyun wiggles as close to Luhan as he can get.
"I hope, however the baby comes out, that it's healthy and that we can make it happy," Joonmyun whispers.
"Please," Luhan snorts. "We'd be the best parents ever. People will be begging us to write a How to Guide for Parenting because we'd be that good." Joonmyun smiles at the thought. His husband can be so silly sometimes. Luhan kisses his temple affectionately.
"Let's sleep. We can't be kickass parents without our mandatory 7 hours of sleep."
"Yes, doctor," Joonmyun mocks before settling under the covers. His belly is too big for Joonmyun to curl up how he normally does, tucked into Luhan's arms. So Luhan had gone to the store and bought the thickest, softest comforter he could find to help keep him warm. But there was no way he was giving up holding Joonmyun to sleep every night, big belly or no big belly.
He nuzzles his face into Joonmyun's hair, inhaling the sweet strawberry shampoo and let it carry him to dreams of a future with a baby and a glowing Myun.
❣❣❣
It is time for another visit to Minseok. Luhan has made use of his stress ball on the drive there, muttering curses under his breath what if the baby hears you? We can't raise the baby around that kind of negativity! Minseok's flirtatious ways never fail to get under Luhan's skin but Joonmyun always chided him. Nothing wrong with a compliment or two.
The stress ball is replaced with Joonmyun's small hands, curling and placing them on top of his belly.
"Feel our baby kick." Instantly, all the tension bleeds out of Luhan as he feels the small kicks. "Definitely, a sports lover."
"We're going to have our hand fulls if the baby has this much energy when he comes out." Joonmyun laughs. He's happy to see Joonmyun happy, he had been fussing earlier about his swollen feet and backaches. There isn't much Luhan can do beside offer massages and cuddles but even then Joonmyun just whines about how his stomach just gets in the way.
"We're here~" The wait inside is short, not many people here, still innovative this whole male pregnancy miracle. A miracle, Luhan muses as the baby delivers a particularly sharp jab that has even Joonmyun hissing.
"I can’t wait for you to be here already so I can put you in time out," Joonmyun scowls.
Just then a nurse comes out, calling them into one of the back rooms.
"Come on, Myun. You can think of more punishments after the doctors."
"Things are going alone really well. Almost perfect."
"Almost perfect?"
"Yes, almost. Joonmyun might need to have a C-section." A pause. "To be honest, it's probably best that you do. Not everyone's body is meant to deliver a baby the same way everyone can now carry one." Minseok looks sincerely apologetic. It's not like it's a shock. 85% of male pregnancies end with C-section rather than natural birth. "It is considered a natural birth in its own way-"
"But so much more dangerous. Think of all the pathogens just hiding in the air-"
"In an extremely controlled environment," Minseok interrupts smoothly. "Really, Joonmyun and the baby will be fine. Other than this small setback, they're both in excellent condition. You've seen the ultrasounds." Luhan has. He even has one tucked away in his wallet all grainy and creased from how often he’s taken it out to shove at people’s faces.
"I know...I just-" Joonmyun tugs gently at his shirt.
"Listen to Dr. Minseok. We'll be ok. Our child's a fighter just like his parents. Nothing is going to stop them from coming out into this world and be with us." Luhan nods and kisses Joonmyun's knuckles just to see him smile. Things are going to be ok. After all, just how bad can a C-Section be?
❣❣❣
Very fucking bad, apparently. Luhan is terrified. They are cutting up his husband in front of his very eyes and he can only hold Joonmyun's hand and pretend to not be afraid at the sight of all the redblackpink. That he isn't quaking in his shoes because Joonmyun looks exceptionally pale and like he's in pain though he shouldn't be.
"Lu-Luhan," Joonmyun calls weakly from behind the oxygen mask. Luhan grips his hand tighter. And then, Joonmyun smiles. "It's ok, Luhan. It'll be ok. It doesn't hurt, really. Just feels weird." Joonmyun scrunches up his nose. Luhan wants to cry. He should be the one comforting Joonmyun not the other way around.
"Myun..." Joonmyun squeezes Luhan's hand back this time.
"Please distract me," Joonmyun whispers, flinching at whatever the doctor had done. Luhan huddles as close as he can get, so the curtain is mostly covered from Joonmyun's view and all he can see is Luhan.
"Once upon a time there were these two dads. They decided to have a baby, a really tiny one that looked just like them. They worked a lot and tried until finally the pregnancy test came back positive. Then after months of waddling and doctor visits out comes the baby loud and cute like both its daddies."
Luhan's story is interrupted by a loud cry. A cry that sounds very much like a baby's cry. Luhan can't feel his fingers from how hard Joonmyun is squeezing.
"Congratulations. It's a boy!"
❣❣❣❣
He's so small, is Luhan's first thought as he peers down at the crib. Zitao is fast asleep and sosososo tiny. That little thing has genes from both of them. Zitao squirms in his sleep, opening and closing his tiny little fist. It could barely wrap around Luhan's pinky.
So tiny and soft and tender. He had a tuft of black hair on his head. Luhan knows in some babies the hair grows in patches before it settles. Zitao yawns, toothless mouth wide, face all scrunched up, and Luhan melts.
Joonmyun is still laying down on the bed. They just got back from the hospital and Joonmyun doesn't waste a second, heading straight for the bed. C-sections take a larger toll on the body. Joonmyun had once joked that it felt like his insides would spill out between the stitches if he moved too much. Needless to say, Luhan had made sure Joonmyun and the bed stay well acquainted unless it was absolutely necessary that he get up.
"Luhan. Can you bring Tao here, please? I want to hold him." Luhan is gentle, cautious not wanting Zitao to wake up. Joonmyun takes him, voice already pitched high and soothing like it's the only way to speak baby talk. Zitao babbles in his sleep. He rolls over nuzzling closer into the warmth Joonmyun's body offers. There's a soft, fond expression on Joonmyun's face as he looks down at the newborn. Luhan can't help but take out his phone and snap a quick picture of the moment. Family, memories, new beginnings. The palm of a tiny hand gripping him, introducing him into his new world. He leans down and kisses Zitao's forehead then kissing Joonmyun, all chaste, on the lips.
And tomorrow, a little past midnight, when Joonmyun will be up to soothe Zitao's crying, he'll spot a paper airplane next to Zitao's crib. He puts his son to sleep first, an hour spent pacing the room, swaying gently from side to side and humming whatever tunes come to mind. Then, once he's done, he opens the letter slowly, not straightening the creases to be able to fold it back to it's original shape. Joonmyun sits down in the rocking chair next to the crib and cries for awhile. Soft little gasps and sniffles interrupting the quiet of the night.
I’ll go anywhere, you know that.
I’ll show you that I can grant your dream of happiness.
Even if I’m separated from you, no matter how far,
I’ll be born with the new morning.
Even if it looks painful, even if I’m crying in sadness,
Deep in my heart I feel your warmth.
If I try and close my eyes I can hear someone’s laughter ((and see a tiny palm))
Somehow that’s now my most precious treasure.
Rating: PG-13
Length: 8491w
Warning/s: mpreg, slight mentions of homophobia, bad grammar skillz and excessive fluff. Beware
Summary: The one where Luhan worries too much and Joonmyun is more than ready for a new addition into their little home.
Notes: Forgot to mention that texts from Luhan's notes are from songs. In their respective order: Falling Slowly cover by Youngmin from BOYFRIEND, 500 miles by The Proclaimers, Ichiban no Takaramono by Lisa from GDM. Title is jia meaning home/family :3
When Joonmyun wakes up, it's to a small paper airplane placed beside his pillow, right where Luhan would normally be sleeping. It's been three years but it never fails to make Joonmyun blush and squirm in bed from the warmth and love he felt for his husband. He picks the paper airplane up and unfolds it gently, so he can refold it without getting confused. It's been five years and Joonmyun still isn't 100% sure how to fold a paper airplane.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
Joonmyun giggles at Luhan's chicken scrawl and refolds the paper airplane before leaving the bed. He treads with light footsteps into the kitchen where he can hear the sound of pots and pans being moved around. Taking aim, he threw the paper airplane hitting Luhan directly between the eyes. Luhan lets out a yelp of surprise, dropping the pan he was holding on to his foot.
And, really, Joonmyun should be making sure he's ok and that there are no broken toes but he can't help the peal of laughter that breaks out at the sight of Luhan's face. It isn't long before Luhan gets his revenge, however. As soon as his foot stops throbbing, Luhan picks up a cupful of the pancake mix he was going to use to make them breakfast, instead, dumping it on Joonmyun's head.
"Ha! Take that!" Luhan shouts triumphantly. Joonmyun peers up at him, top half of his face smudged in white powder, with the cutest pout and Luhan doesn't hesitate to follow his instinct to kiss it away. Their lips are chapped and Joonmyun still hasn't had a chance to brush his teeth, but it's still pleasant, still lovely. Luhan could probably kiss Joonmyun forever. He reaches down, pulling at Joonmyun's left hand just to feel the wedding band on his finger. He has forever.
They slowly pull apart, eyes fluttering open. Luhan stares, expression soft, at how pretty Joonmyun is despite the bed hair and cake mix decorating him. He lifts the hand not intertwined with Joonmyun's to wipe some of the mix off his cheek.
"So pretty," Luhan mumbles. Even under all the powder, Joonmyun's blushing cheeks could be seen. "The prettiest." He drops down to give Joonmyun a lingering kiss, his hand tilting Joonmyun's head for the perfect angle. He licks at Joonmyun's mouth until he's opening up for him. There's no rush, no urgency, just the slow slide of Luhan's tongue tasting everything and Joonmyun taking, taking, taking.
The moment is ruined when Joonmyun's stomach lets out a loud rumbling. They break apart, laughing.
"We should probably eat before we make ourselves late for work." Luhan ruffles Joonmyun's hair sending white powder flying every which way.
"No homemade breakfast in bed."
"And whose fault is that?" Luhan only grins in response, eyes bright even at the break of dawn.
"How about I drive us over the cafe on the way to your school for a quick breakfast and I can drop you off after? It's been awhile since I got to take you out."
"What if you get called in overtime again and can't pick me up?"
"Then I shall send a chariot with the finest horses to pick you up and bring you home." Joonmyun bursts into laughter. "Nothing but the best for my prince." Luhan bows with flourish sending Joonmyun into another peal of laughter.
"Ok, ok. I get it. Come on, help me get washed up so we can go to this cafe and eat. I'm starving."
"Of course, Your Highness. I am at your service." Still chortling, they both slipp into the cramped bathroom in their apartment. It's not that they can't afford a bigger apartment. Luhan makes more than enough being a well known OB/GYN at the local hospital. Joonmyun keeps his job out of pure enjoyment of being a teacher to a room full of toddlers. He always was weak when it came to cute things. Together, they could've afforded a bigger apartment, or a spacious house, with separate rooms for kitchen and dining. But this had been the apartment they rented together when Luhan had been a med student and Joonmyun had just received his teaching certification. It had been all they could afford but it was more than enough.
It still is, Joonmyun thinks as Luhan takes care in removing all the pancake mix from his hair. They wash quickly, the clock already past six. Joonmyun has to be at the school by 7:15 to prepare the classroom. Luhan didn't have to clock in at the hospital until eight, so he loves to tease Joonmyun. Shush him with kisses whenever he urges them to hurry. Joonmyun should be mad but Luhan just gives the best kisses and he can't help but give in to that cherubic smile.
By the time they are inside the car, ready to go, it is fifteen minutes till seven and Joonmyun is huffing, making sure Luhan notices how upset he is.
"I swear, we'll make it in time. The traffic isn't even that bad, Myunnie." Luhan reaches over and pulls at Joonmyun's hand until they're laced together.
"We better," Joonmyun grumbles, feeling what little anger he feels at Luhan melt away. Amber is right. He is hopeless.
The drive to the cafe is short, mostly because Luhan is speeding to make sure Joonmyun makes it in time. After parking the car in front of Luhan’s favorite cafe, he immediately starts dragging Joonmyun inside, always eager at just the smell of coffee.
"Let's sit by the window," Luhan suggests. Joonmyun shrugs in agreement, not really caring so long as he gets his belly filled soon.
"Wait here. I'll go order and come right back." Luhan leaves but not before dropping a quick kiss on Joonmyun's cheeks leaving him a blushing, stuttering mess at the table.
He returns shortly with a steaming cup of white chocolate mocha and a cinnamon raisin bagel for Joonmyun and, for himself. an iced americano and croissant sandwich.
"All the sugars for you. Can't have the kids running you over in the classroom now, can we?" Joonmyun snorts. As if his precious kids would ever. They're too cute for such evil.
"I don't know, Myunnie. I deal with them before they're even born and, even then, they're capable of much evil." Joonmyun snorts in disbelief before taking a large bite of his bagel. The rest of the meal passed on in comfortable silence, content with just having food to fill their stomachs.
Exactly at seven, Joonmyun is pulling a begrudging Luhan along to the car.
"But I don't want to let you go~ Just a few more minutes, Myuuuun."
"No. I must go to work. My children."
"You know they're not actually your children, right?" Luhan teases. Joonmyun, however, stays silent his expression distant. "Myun? Do you actually want..." Joonmyun seems to snap out of his daze. He smiles at Luhan and pats his hand.
"Later," is all he says. Joonmyun's smile never falters, so Luhan tucks away the bit of information to the back of his mind to process. Later.
Luhan drops Joonmyun off at the school gates. It's still too early for most parents to be dropping off their kids, teachers only just trickling in. Before Joonmyun gets out, Luhan pulls him in for a swift kiss to the cheek.
"Have a good day! I'll see you after work. Promise," Luhan whispers into his cheek. Joonmyun can't stop the silly smile from spreading on his face at the sweet words. He pecks Luhan on the lips in farewell. It's been three years but Joonmyun doesn't think he'll ever get enough of Luhan.
❣❣❣
Luhan steps into his office not long after. The nurses greet him politely before getting back to work, their hushed chatter reaching him even as he walks. He is one of the few homosexuals doctors so he's used to it. The whispers, the stares. It doesn't bother him though. He has Joonmyun and they don't. That's all he needs, he hums to himself.
He fiddles around with the diagnostic sheets. He doesn't get many patients so he already has most of this information memorized. Blood type A. 5'6". Just entering her fifth month of pregnancy, Victoria Song. Luhan briefly wonders if her family will accompany her. It's been awhile since he's seen little Henry. A knock interrupts his thoughts.
"Your first patient is ready to see you, Dr. Han." Luhan straightens his stethoscope before leaving to the designated room. Victoria is already sitting down on the bed, feet swinging as she waits. Zhou Mi is beside her, two year old Henry fast asleep in his arms.
"Hello, Mrs. Song," Luhan greets formally.
"How many times do I have to tell you? You can just call me jie. I see you more than the family doctor and even he calls me by my first name. You wound me, Lu." He laughs softly at her exaggerated pout. He turns to greet Zhou Mi as well, ruffling Henry's hair careful not to disturb his sleep.
"So, how are you feeling? Have Henry and Mimi been giving you trouble?"
"Oh, you know how Mimi is, ever the gentleman. Henry is a whole other story. Half the time, he's crying about how he doesn't want to be a big brother."
"I'm sure that'll all change once he gets to meet her. If you could please step this way iie so we can see how baby's doing."
"Fei. We decided to name her Fei."
"Such a cute name. Let's check up on Fei then and make sure she's doing okay."
❣❣❣
They day passed by quickly afterwards. Patients came and left. Some, like Luna and Sulli, nervous with anticipation of having their first baby, and others, like Victoria and Zhou Mi, veterans in the field and eager for the new addition in their family.
Luhan finds his day ending early with all the pregnancies going along well and in perfect health. With workshops taking over the rest of his week schedule, Luhan wants to enjoy the few breaths of free time spoiling Joonmyun. He picks up a blank piece of paper and snatches a pen from his desk, blue this time, and writes down the first lyrics that come to his head.
When I'm working, yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
He tucks it into his lab coat. He'll just fold it in the car when he picks up Joonmyun. If he gets there early enough, he might even get to surprise Joonmyun inside his classroom. Carrying the mental image of a surprised Joonmyun, Luhan quickly bids everyone a goodbye, all but running to his car. I'm a genius~
The drive to Joonmyun's school only takes half an hour having beat the school traffic hours despite the stop at a flower shop to buy a bouquet. He quickly folds the note into a paper airplane and nestles it in between the flowers. He takes a peek at his reflection in the rear view mirror. Can't be looking bad in front of the kids.
Once all the stray hairs are settled, Luhan slips out with the gifts and heads into the front lobby of the school. Inside, a beautiful display of cut out bunnies and large trees decorate the doors of the school with the words "Read to Grow" tucked between two magenta trees, greet Luhan. Parallel to the entrance was the front office. Guests had to come and sign in before they could enter through the second set of double doors. By now Luhan is such a familiar face that as soon as he walks in the secretaries greet him with enthusiastic smiles.
"What brings our favorite Casanova to visit this time? Your anniversary was two weeks ago," Tiffany, one of the secretaries, teases. Luhan laughs, hands reaching for the I.D. badge already set aside ready for him.
"Oh you know. Just trying to keep the flame going."
"Shhh, careful. Don't want any of the students to hear you," Tiffany whispers, instantly breaking into her infamous eye smile. Luhan returns the gesture as he signs in the visitor log book.
"You might want to hurry," Kyungsoo, the other secretary, interrupts. "Dismissal is in fifteen minutes and Joonmyun is probably getting the kids ready to leave." Luhan throws a salute at Kyungsoo before slipping in through the double doors. Down the left hallway is where all the Kinder through second grade classrooms are located. At the very end of the hallway is Joonmyun's classroom.
Mr. Han. Luhan likes how it looks on the door. Giant block letters spelling out their shared name, cutouts of little minions surrounding it with little bubbles of speech filled with the scribbles of the kindergartners.
He quietly opens the door, not wanting to give himself away just yet. The students don't even bat an eyelash at him too busy running up to their teacher for their end of day stickers.
"A flower for you, Jongin, for being an extra good line leader and keeping your area super clean!" Jongin whispers a tiny 'Thank you, Mr. Han" wrapping his tiny arms around Joonmyun's knees. Luhan's mind races to earlier when Joonmyun had hinted at wanting. And, maybe, he could want that future too. Tiny little kids carrying a mish mash of their genes. But Luhan isn't here for that. As Jongin leaves to show off his flower sticker to his friends, Luhan slides up to Joonmyun shoving the bouquet in his face.
"For my love," Luhan drags out the last word just to hear the kids squeal and squirm in disgust. Joonmyun playfully scowls at Luhan, the pretty pretty blush dusting his cheeks. Success.
"Alright class, sit down."
"Yes, Mr. Han," the children chorus as they slip into their chairs, still giggling.
"I'm waiting for my good students to show me how we sit properly so we can line up to leave." As if under a spell, the children all folding their hands and putting bubbles in their mouths, puffing out their cheeks, making them the strangest mix of cute and serious.
Luhan waits quietly by Joonmyun's desk while his husband calls out table by table for the children to line up with their over-sized backpacks. Once everyone is done, Joonmyun turns to Luhan and whispers, "Just wait here. I'll be back after dropping the kids off at the gym for dismissal." Luhan nods and the kids at the back of the line closest to them let out a trickle of giggles. Joonmyun shoots them a mock glare that has them back into their proper line position with backs straight, hands behind their back.
"OK, Jongin. Let's go down to the gym." Jongin walks out the door with his head high and the rest of the kids followed silently with Joonmyun at the rear, watching them with a gentle expression. One Luhan has only ever seen him use in his classroom reserved just for his kids.
Maybe, maybe....
Luhan is flipping through the drawings from the children Joonmyun has scattered all over his desk when he returns. Luhan had taken the liberty of attempting to organize the mess that is on Joonmyun's desk but he can only go through so many papers filled with doodles before he felt like quitting.
"You made it on time," Joonmyun comments, smile bright on his face.
"Told you I wouldn't be late."
"And you even got me flowers and a paper airplane too." Luhan itches to kiss Joonmyun what with such a tender expression on his face, but he remembers where they are and stays seated. He waits for Joonmyun to finish reading the little note, waits for that soft soft soft look as he cautiously refolds the paper airplane, finally reaching as Joonmyun extends his hand, ready to leave.
They wind up inside a bookstore, Joonmyun dragging Luhan muttering about needing to buy more books for the children. Luhan sighs fondly and lets himself be ushered into the pleasant stillness that can only be found at bookstores. Luhan lets Joonmyun peruse through the children's book section, going off, instead, in search of a novel Joonmyun had been raving about before bed sometime last week.
He finds the book and is just about to reach for it when much smaller hands snatch it away. Luhan turns, ready to fight for the last copy when he spots the familiar face.
"Sulli?" She blinks up at him before recognition finally seems to hit and she's waving enthusiastically at him. Taking a closer look, Luhan can see deep bags under her eyes and her skin looks paler than it did this morning.
"How are the baby and Luna doing?" Luhan asks methodically, his doctor mindset already at the forefront. Sulli's smile falls for a minute before returning.
"They're doing well. Luna's morning sickness has just been acting up a bit. She spent the past two hours in the bathroom puking but she's calmed down now. She was the one who sent me here actually. Said she wanted a good book to forget the bad taste in her mouth." She looks down at the book, hand stroking the spine. "Only problem is I can't tell apart a good book from a bad one." Sulli's laugh sounds strained but sincere.
"My...husband would probably recommend the book you're holding. Says it's good and has been on his to-read list," Luhan says cautiously. Feet treading on dangerous waters. He knows Sulli won't judge, married to Luna and having their first baby, but saying that word in public still feels strange. Society has changed but people still continue to look down on them. Luhan had to fight tooth and nail to claim the position he's in and, sometimes, he just wishes it weren't so hard for him to reach out and hold Joonmyun's hand without the bitter hissing and whispering following them around.
Sulli grabs his hand and squeezes, expression bright on her face.
"Thank you. I'm sure Luna will love it and I hope...I wish you and your husband all the happiness. He must be a sweet man to have someone like you by his side." Luhan snorts. He is the lucky one. He gets to call an angel his.
"Speaking of, I should probably go find him before he buys every book in the kids section. But if Luna's morning sickness keeps getting worse then please bring her by the office. It might be hyperemesis gravidarum." Sulli salutes in affirmation before wishing Luhan a good day and leaving. The book will just have to wait until next time.
He finds Joonmyun juggling five different books, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Just on time. Luhan takes two of the book titles and places them back on the shelf.
"Hey," Joonmyun protests weakly.
"I think three is more than enough. No need to buy them the whole bookstore." Luhan is pushing Joonmyun until he starts walking reluctantly towards the cashier.
"But it was only five..." He pinches Joonmyun's side causing his pout to deepen. He could almost feel the pout against his lips from all the times he's kissed them away. They pay for the books and sit outside a nearby cafe, Luhan more than ready for his fourth cup of caffeine for the day. Joonmyun shoots him a disapproving look as he sits with an americano and green tea in hand. He sheepishly hands Joonmyun the green tea avoiding all eye contact.
"So! What was the thing you wanted to talk about?" Luhan starts eyes glued to his black, black americano. Joonmyun shifts in his seat and leans forward. Luhan can't help but drown himself in Joonmyun's bright, bright eyes as they sparkle in anticipation. In joy.
"Let's have a baby." Luhan lets the idea settle in his head, stretch it out until he sees Joonmyun, pregnant Joonmyun, the size of Luna. He's frowning now because morning sickness. Aches and pains in the joints, the back. Complications he's seen happen to too many people, good people. His department is filled with blooming miracles but sometimes the devil liked to drop by and leave nasty little presents for his patients.
Joonmyun can see it. The worry, fear, stark on Luhan's face. His smile falters but he barrels ahead, his tiny hands grasping onto Luhan's.
"Listen, Luhan. Just listen. If anything bad were to happen-" Luhan's hands tighten their grip, frown tight on his face, "if anything did happen you'll be there. I know you'll take care of me and I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, too. Think about it. You and I, we'd make the best parents ever. You know all the science stuff and I know how to take care of kids. I've been teaching them for three years now. Please, please, please tell me you'll at least think about it." Joonmyun's pout is back. Luhan huffs already feeling his walls cracking under that cute face.
"Why not me then?" Luhan asks. "What if I get pregnant? That way if anything bad were to happen it would happen to me and you'd be safe..."
"Luhan," he scolds. "If that's your reason for getting pregnant then no."
"But, Myun-"
"The answer is no, Luhan." Joonmyun's scowl is still firmly in place and Luhan feels all the fight leave his body.
"Why do you want to be pregnant?" Luhan asks instead. Joonmyun blinks, quiet for a minute as he seems to gather his thoughts. Then a fond, slow smile forms on his face, hands squeezing.
"Because I want to. I just think of carrying something we created and I," Joonmyun beams. "It makes me happy. So so happy, Luhan. And thinking about all the months to come as the baby grows inside me and - and how the baby will start kicking and wiggling around as it's almost time for it to come out. Singing to him or her every night, you have the sweetest voice, Luhan, and imagine the time off I'd get off from work on maternity laugh." They both laugh at the thought, maternity leave having just gotten extended to males only years after the discovery that, yes, males can make one another pregnant. "Although, you could probably do more with the vacation than me." Luhan shakes his head, quickly dismissing the silly idea.
"You really want this, don't you?"
"Yes!"
"I-" Luhan pauses. He's never really been hesitant but he can't help it. He knows too much of the consequences, the good, the bad, the ugly. He wants nothing but the best for Joonmyun. He thinks back on Sulli, face waned in stress, worry. He also remembers Victoria and her family, basking in joy from having their first child and now getting ready for their second.
"OK." Luhan finds himself saying. "OK. But I need a little bit of time- we're gonna need a bigger house and-" He is interrupted by a pair of very soft, warm lips covering his own, whispering thank yous, I love yous with every glide. Luhan grins, quickly taking the charge of the kiss, deepening it, hands curling up to cradle Joonmyun's cheeks. The whispers are washed out from the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears. Nothing matters but Joonmyun, his, mine, Joonmyun.
❣❣❣
The search for a new house takes them months and by the time they finally find The One, winter break is around the corner. Joonmyun finds himself slouching in his teacher seat as his children squeal excitedly about their letters to Santa Clause. As drained as he feels, he still can't help but know he’ll miss the kids in the upcoming two weeks. A soft knock at the door and Joonmyun is up and clapping his hands.
"Alright, friends, It's time to clean up and get ready to get home." He walks to the door and opens it to find Baekhyun and Amber.
"I just have to walk them to the gym for dismissal. You guys can wait here and I'll be right back."
"Sure thing, Joonie!" Baekhyun slips past him leaving Amber to shoot him an apologetic smile.
"You know how he is." Joonmyun shakes his head.
"You two are helping with the moving. Putting up with him is the least I can do."
"That's the spirit!" Amber laughs as they walk back into the classroom. The children enthusiastically greet their music and gymnastics teacher before looking at Joonmyun for approval.
"Wow! Look at how spotless this room is! I might have to give everyone a sticker if you guys get in line quietly." There's an excited hush as the children quickly scramble to get into place without speaking. Baekhyun and Amber wave him off when he leads his students out the door and into the hallway.
The children remain exemplary the entire walk to the gym. Not one gets out of line or lets out a stray giggle. Not even Chanyeol and Jihoon are playing around, eyes glued to the back of the person in front of them’s head. It's not like Joonmyun isn't going to give all of them stickers anyways, what with the holidays coming up, but seeing them all do their best unlike the older children running into the gym; it made his heart swell and wish he had brought more than just a handful of smelly stickers.
When they come back, I'll have something special planned then, Joonmyun thinks. He dismisses the children after handing each of them a sticker only to have them all cluster around his legs in a group hug.
It's with an overflowing heart that Joonmyun walks back into his classroom. He had forgotten all about Amber and Baekhyun until he spots them on the floor playing with the wooden blocks at the back of the classroom.
"Ahem." Amber and Baekhyun both jump in surprise. Baekhyun recovers fairly quickly and comes up to Joonmyun, beaming.
"Finally ready, softie?" Joonmyun snorts at the nickname.
"You're just helping us move boxes."
"And a couch or two." Joonmyun shoves Baekhyun out the door, Amber trailing after them as she tries, and fails, to hide her laughter.
Turns out it was more than boxes and a couch (or two) that Luhan and Joonmyun need help moving. There's the television set ("Have either of you ever heard of flat screen TVs? I swear they don't kill your back like this one!" Baekhyun proclaims. Luhan shuts him up with the threat of dropping it on his toes), the bookshelves, the refrigerator, the bed frame, the mattress and, ok, Joonmyun probably shouldn't have lied to Amber and Baekhyun about there being just boxes but neither of them would have agreed to help otherwise.
"I am officially debunking you from friends into the co-worker group on my phone," Amber declares, voice breathy from exertion.
"I second this notion," Baekhyun weakly proclaims from his place on the living room floor. They were all on the floor. There is still an army of boxes waiting to be unpacked, and the furniture is thrown around in absolute chaos but it's inside and that's all that matters.
"Thank you, coworkers of Joonmyun." Baekhyun grunts in reply. Luhan offers to buy everyone pizza and Joonmyun finds himself back in the friend zone after the free food arrives. They eat quietly, recharging their batteries before they can even think to sort through the mess that is their house. Their home. Joonmyun warms at the thought of the new spare room at the end of the hallway right next to their master bedroom. Perfect. Baekhyun and Amber leave shortly after the important boxes containing the necessities are unpacked.
"Call us if you guys need anymore help!"
"Preferably help that just involves boxes this time!" The sound of Amber's hand coming into contact with Baekhyun's skull reaches them and they burst into laughter, grateful for their friendship.
Joonmyun stretches and walks back into the house. He is thankful they moved the bed in first, something warm and familiar to sleep the exhaustion away.
"And where do you think you're going?" Luhan whispers, pulling him back until his back softly presses against Luhan's chest. His breath is ticklish against Joonmyun's neck but his hands are warm where they lay against his hips, rubbing soothing circles.
"Bed. To sleep. You?" Joonmyun can feel the pout Luhan has against his neck and it shouldn't send shivers down his spine. It's been three years and he still knows all the right buttons to push.
"But we still have to christen our new home," Luhan whines.
"Lu, we don't even have things out to christen yet."
"The dining table is up." Joonmyun turns and looks Luhan straight in the eye.
"Fine but we're using your shirt to clean up. God knows what box has all the towels."
"Deal!" It should worry Joonmyun just how mischievous and devilish(ly handsome) Luhan looks but he's distracted by the lips on his and the hands tracing patterns on the skin under his sweater. He thinks for a second why not just christen the bed? but they say it's better to save the best for last so Joonmyun lets himself get lost in the heated touches on the rough, hardwood and worry about everything else in the morning.
❣❣❣
Except, things don't always go as planned and it's month number seven with still no baby in sight. Joonmyun is torn between jumping Luhan every time he sees him and curling up in his arms crying for hours because why why why why can't I get pregnant, Luhan?
Luhan wishes he had an answer, something, a concrete explanation of why when he's been taking all his vitamins and eating healthy just like Luhan prescribed. He tries to cheer him up by filling his paper airplanes with lyrics of love, of better tomorrows and sunshine and cuddling. Sometimes it works. Joonmyun holds on to the airplanes and takes it with him to work, leaving it on the dashboard of his car. Other times, Luhan finds them crumpled in tiny balls near or in the trash can and those moments hurt the most. He knows Joonmyun has a box for all the airplanes since their college days stored away somewhere and to see them tossed aside...
But they keep trying and the world keeps turning. Victoria and Zhoumi stop by the hospital one day to visit, Fei tucked away in her baby carriage. Luhan is grateful to see their faces. It has been a long day, Sulli and Luna's premature baby has finally stabilized and his new patient, Seulgi, has been improving after the rocky start in her pregnancy.
"Henry, Henry say hi to Lu-ge." Henry lets out an incoherent gurgle making Luhan laugh.
"I swear, he talks just fine when we're home," Victoria fusses, hands pinching her son's cheeks. Henry hides from his mother's hands by tucking his face into her neck.
"I'm taking it things are going well at home, then?" Zhoumi nods and launches into a tirade of just how well things are now that they have two little minions and double the mess but the tenderness in his eyes never wavers. Luhan can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Someday.
"Were you on your way out?"
"Ah, yea. I was going to leave in a bit to pick up Joonmyun actually. School is starting soon and he's been attending workshops all week. Figure I'd take him out somewhere nice to eat."
"Or you could just take him back home and offer to massage his feet or back rub," Victoria suggests. "Sometimes it's the simple things that make a greater gesture."
"Yea. I can do that. Thanks, jiě!" He shoots them a grateful smile before he's spilling out goodbyes, speed walking out the door and into his car. Time for a quick trip to the grocery store.
The candle lit dinner and oil massage turn out worse than expected. Luhan knocks over the candle and almost sets the house on fire. Then, when Luhan offers to massage Joonmyun's feet, they had both somehow conveniently forgotten how ticklish Joonmyun was there and it quickly ended with him apologizing over and over again for kicking Luhan in the face. All in all, Luhan still considers it a victory when he and Joonmyun are laying on the couch laughing over how ridiculous the whole situation had been. They decide to stick to cuddling while watching a movie. Best to play it safe.
Like this, with Joonmyun soft and warm in his arms, Luhan feels like he's stepped right into the gates of heaven. His perfect little angel, he thinks as he drops kisses on Joonmyun's nape. He shifts unconsciously, giving Luhan more space, more skin to bite into and lavish. Luhan lets out a groan at the taste of his husband and Joonmyun finds himself getting more and more distracted from the movie. It isn't long before Luhan's hands slip under his shirt touching everywhere; torso, stomach, ribs, teasingly along his hips.
"Luhan," Joonmyun moans softly.
"I love you." That's all it takes for Joonmyun to turn around and steal Luhan's breath in a searing kiss, the movie playing forgotten in the background.
❣❣❣
The signs are subtle. Joonmyun avoids all yellow food saying it makes him feel queasy. Then a week or so after, it's the smells.
"Luhan, can we leave? I'm really not feeling well."
"But you haven't had breakfast. At least buy something to drink so you can stay hydrated."
"Lu, I really don't want anything to drink right now. I just wanna go. Or puke. Probably both." Joonmyun winces and Luhan finds himself ushering a very ill husband into the restroom, helpless as he empties out yesterday's dinner in the bathroom stall.
"Joonmyun. Joonmyun, Joonmyun, Joonmyun!"
"What, what Luhan?" Joonmyun is irritated, can taste the bile at the back of his throat, and he can still smell the stupid coffee that upset his stomach in the first place.
"It's happening," Luhan whispers in awe, eyes brighter than Joonmyun ever remembers them being. Oh. Oh.
Three pregnancy tests later (two extra just to be reallly really sure) and Joonmyun is still in disbelief. But the two pink lines don't lie, not three times in a row. Luhan is ecstatic, barely stopping himself from jumping all over the place by how still Joonmyun is. Luhan cradles his face and forces him to look make eye contact.
"We did it, Myun! We're having a baby!"
"A...baby?"
"Our baby." Joonmyun blinks, sudden tears cascading down his cheeks. Their child. After months and months of trying they were finally going to have a baby. Luhan holds him close, Joonmyun clinging back, tears of joy wetting both their cheeks. Now the real journey begins, Luhan thinks. They'd have to find a doctor, go to all the appointments, deal with all the shift in hormones, baby proof their home, think of a name...
"I love you," Joonmyun whispers into Luhan's shoulder, the tears finally subsiding.
"I love you, too."
❣❣❣
Luhan didn't waste any time in pulling all the strings to get Joonmyun the best local doctor he could find.
"I still don't get why you can't be my doctor." Joonmyun is pouting but Luhan's too preoccupied inputting the hospital's address into the car's GPS system.
"Because, Myunnie, I'm an OB/GYN," Luhan stresses the last three letters. "You need to see an obstetrician but, more specifically, an andrologist. I'm an obstetrician whose main focus is gynecology which is all about the female sexual reproduction and all that jazz. You're not a female, Myun, and there's only so much I know and can help with." Joonmyun is surprised at the concern, heavy in Luhan's voice.
"I'll be ok, Lu. I have you to take care of me. And whoever this wonderful doctor is. There's nothing to worry about." Except there is. Luhan's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even if you do everything right things can still go wrong.
"Luhan," Joonmyun calls out softly. He turns to look at him eyebrows still furrowed creating a crease on his forehead. "It's gonna be ok. As long as we have each other, that's more than enough." Luhan nods, bringing Joonmyun's hand to his lips kissing the back of his hand.
They reach the hospital not long after, on the opposite side of the city from Luhan's but still close enough that the drive feels relatively short. A nurse quickly ushers them into a room, walls a relaxing hue of blue. Joonmyun's favorite color. There's a soft knock on the door and a short man with cat like eyes and the fluffiest cheeks Luhan has ever seen enters. Introductions are made and Joonmyun learns that his name is Dr. Minseok.
"I take it you two are first time parents?" Minseok ventures. Joonmyun blinks up at him in surprise. "I haven't seen either of you two around and I'm the only obstetrician in town who can help you guys." They nod, Luhan's hands rubbing soothing circles on Joonmyun's lower back. This is it. "So who's the lucky one?" Joonmyun shyly steps forward and steps onto the hard bed, crinkling the strip of paper covering it.
"I don't know who's luckier: you for having the baby or you for having such an angel by your side to start a family with." Wait, what? Joonmyun is blushing and giggling, protesting, claiming to be the lucky one for having Luhan by his side.
"Can we get on with the physical?" Luhan grunts. Minseok smiles easily.
"Yes, lets. If you can please take off your clothes, Joonmyun, and put on the patient gown, please. Then we can start with a pelvic exam and work from there. We want to make sure you are in perfectly good health for yours and the baby's sake." As soon as Minseok leaves the room to give them privacy, Luhan whirls around.
"I don't like him." He pouts.
"Oh, Luhan, so he flirts a little? Nothing wrong with getting appreciated by someone you're married to and has to love you no matter what. Now help me get out of these pants so we can get the tests over with quickly." Luhan gawks at his husband only moving after Joonmyun whines from under his sweater. Luhan had already taken care of most of the exams, having dragged Joonmyun into his office one weekend, taking care when performing the blood work and urine exam. But the pelvic exam, he could do with in his sleep on women. On men, he wouldn't even know where to begin. And now Minseok was going to have a go at poking around Joonmyun's lower body.
Minseok knocks before slipping back inside. He instructs Joonmyun on how to lay back with Luhan's support and to spread his legs, please. Joonmyun pinches his side to get him to stop scowling because of course he knows what expression Luhan would have without needing to turn around. Luhan controls his face muscles the best he can with the sight of Minseok's hands disappearing into Joonmyun's gown swimming before his eyes. He tries. He fails. He doesn't miss the pink on Joonmyun's cheeks either, though he suspects those are more from embarrassment than anything else. His patients have often told him the first time is always remembered with a shade of embarrassment.
After what felt like grueling hours of enduring another man touching his husband, Minseok finally relents beaming at them both about what perfect health condition Joonmyun's body is in, leaving them again shortly after to give them some privacy. Luhan helps hand Joonmyun his clothes as he slowly redresses. Joonmyun's whole body is tingling, nerves afire, they're having a baby!. His happiness is infectious and it isn't long before Luhan's grinning too, so hard his cheeks start to hurt but Joonmyun's eyes are twinkling and maybe he can put up with Minseok for another thirty weeks. Maybe.
❣❣❣
Months pass by in a similar pattern. Morning sickness peaks and recedes. Luhan finds himself more familiar than he ever thought he would be with the snacks section in the grocery store. He's even on first name basis with the cashier who's shift ends at 3 am.
Luhan has his head nestled on top of Joonmyun's protruding stomach. Seven months. Amost there, he thinks as his fingers trace random patterns on Joonmyun's bare skin.
"Can you not do that? It tickles," Joonmyun giggles. He squirms a bit and Luhan wraps his arm around his waist, determined to keep cuddling their baby.
"Who do you think the baby is going to look like?" Luhan asks after a period of silent cuddling. Joonmyun hums in thought.
"I hope the baby gets your smile. And your cute little ears, too." Joonmyun makes a noise of embarrassment. It's too easy for Luhan to picture the blush probably spread all over Joonmyun's face.
"Then the baby has to have your eyes," Joonmyun declared.
"Do you think it'll like sports?" Luhan muses.
"I hope so. Then, at least, you'll have someone to play with." Luhan looks up at Joonmyun's apologetic face. He moves up the bed until he's hovering over Joonmyun. Without a word, he takes a taste of Joonmyun's lips, wanting to wash that face away. Smile. Always smile. You always make me want to smile. Luhan urges every word down Joonmyun's throat, Joonmyun responding easily, hands twisting in the fabric of his shirt. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Luhan doesn't stop until his head is spinning from the lack of oxygen in his brain. He looks down at Joonmyun, all round edges and tenderness shining through his eyes. He could have forever with him and it would never be enough time to appreciate everything Joonmyun.
He slides down to lay down next to Joonmyun, hand moving back to rest on his stomach. Joonmyun wiggles as close to Luhan as he can get.
"I hope, however the baby comes out, that it's healthy and that we can make it happy," Joonmyun whispers.
"Please," Luhan snorts. "We'd be the best parents ever. People will be begging us to write a How to Guide for Parenting because we'd be that good." Joonmyun smiles at the thought. His husband can be so silly sometimes. Luhan kisses his temple affectionately.
"Let's sleep. We can't be kickass parents without our mandatory 7 hours of sleep."
"Yes, doctor," Joonmyun mocks before settling under the covers. His belly is too big for Joonmyun to curl up how he normally does, tucked into Luhan's arms. So Luhan had gone to the store and bought the thickest, softest comforter he could find to help keep him warm. But there was no way he was giving up holding Joonmyun to sleep every night, big belly or no big belly.
He nuzzles his face into Joonmyun's hair, inhaling the sweet strawberry shampoo and let it carry him to dreams of a future with a baby and a glowing Myun.
❣❣❣
It is time for another visit to Minseok. Luhan has made use of his stress ball on the drive there, muttering curses under his breath what if the baby hears you? We can't raise the baby around that kind of negativity! Minseok's flirtatious ways never fail to get under Luhan's skin but Joonmyun always chided him. Nothing wrong with a compliment or two.
The stress ball is replaced with Joonmyun's small hands, curling and placing them on top of his belly.
"Feel our baby kick." Instantly, all the tension bleeds out of Luhan as he feels the small kicks. "Definitely, a sports lover."
"We're going to have our hand fulls if the baby has this much energy when he comes out." Joonmyun laughs. He's happy to see Joonmyun happy, he had been fussing earlier about his swollen feet and backaches. There isn't much Luhan can do beside offer massages and cuddles but even then Joonmyun just whines about how his stomach just gets in the way.
"We're here~" The wait inside is short, not many people here, still innovative this whole male pregnancy miracle. A miracle, Luhan muses as the baby delivers a particularly sharp jab that has even Joonmyun hissing.
"I can’t wait for you to be here already so I can put you in time out," Joonmyun scowls.
Just then a nurse comes out, calling them into one of the back rooms.
"Come on, Myun. You can think of more punishments after the doctors."
"Things are going alone really well. Almost perfect."
"Almost perfect?"
"Yes, almost. Joonmyun might need to have a C-section." A pause. "To be honest, it's probably best that you do. Not everyone's body is meant to deliver a baby the same way everyone can now carry one." Minseok looks sincerely apologetic. It's not like it's a shock. 85% of male pregnancies end with C-section rather than natural birth. "It is considered a natural birth in its own way-"
"But so much more dangerous. Think of all the pathogens just hiding in the air-"
"In an extremely controlled environment," Minseok interrupts smoothly. "Really, Joonmyun and the baby will be fine. Other than this small setback, they're both in excellent condition. You've seen the ultrasounds." Luhan has. He even has one tucked away in his wallet all grainy and creased from how often he’s taken it out to shove at people’s faces.
"I know...I just-" Joonmyun tugs gently at his shirt.
"Listen to Dr. Minseok. We'll be ok. Our child's a fighter just like his parents. Nothing is going to stop them from coming out into this world and be with us." Luhan nods and kisses Joonmyun's knuckles just to see him smile. Things are going to be ok. After all, just how bad can a C-Section be?
❣❣❣
Very fucking bad, apparently. Luhan is terrified. They are cutting up his husband in front of his very eyes and he can only hold Joonmyun's hand and pretend to not be afraid at the sight of all the redblackpink. That he isn't quaking in his shoes because Joonmyun looks exceptionally pale and like he's in pain though he shouldn't be.
"Lu-Luhan," Joonmyun calls weakly from behind the oxygen mask. Luhan grips his hand tighter. And then, Joonmyun smiles. "It's ok, Luhan. It'll be ok. It doesn't hurt, really. Just feels weird." Joonmyun scrunches up his nose. Luhan wants to cry. He should be the one comforting Joonmyun not the other way around.
"Myun..." Joonmyun squeezes Luhan's hand back this time.
"Please distract me," Joonmyun whispers, flinching at whatever the doctor had done. Luhan huddles as close as he can get, so the curtain is mostly covered from Joonmyun's view and all he can see is Luhan.
"Once upon a time there were these two dads. They decided to have a baby, a really tiny one that looked just like them. They worked a lot and tried until finally the pregnancy test came back positive. Then after months of waddling and doctor visits out comes the baby loud and cute like both its daddies."
Luhan's story is interrupted by a loud cry. A cry that sounds very much like a baby's cry. Luhan can't feel his fingers from how hard Joonmyun is squeezing.
"Congratulations. It's a boy!"
❣❣❣❣
He's so small, is Luhan's first thought as he peers down at the crib. Zitao is fast asleep and sosososo tiny. That little thing has genes from both of them. Zitao squirms in his sleep, opening and closing his tiny little fist. It could barely wrap around Luhan's pinky.
So tiny and soft and tender. He had a tuft of black hair on his head. Luhan knows in some babies the hair grows in patches before it settles. Zitao yawns, toothless mouth wide, face all scrunched up, and Luhan melts.
Joonmyun is still laying down on the bed. They just got back from the hospital and Joonmyun doesn't waste a second, heading straight for the bed. C-sections take a larger toll on the body. Joonmyun had once joked that it felt like his insides would spill out between the stitches if he moved too much. Needless to say, Luhan had made sure Joonmyun and the bed stay well acquainted unless it was absolutely necessary that he get up.
"Luhan. Can you bring Tao here, please? I want to hold him." Luhan is gentle, cautious not wanting Zitao to wake up. Joonmyun takes him, voice already pitched high and soothing like it's the only way to speak baby talk. Zitao babbles in his sleep. He rolls over nuzzling closer into the warmth Joonmyun's body offers. There's a soft, fond expression on Joonmyun's face as he looks down at the newborn. Luhan can't help but take out his phone and snap a quick picture of the moment. Family, memories, new beginnings. The palm of a tiny hand gripping him, introducing him into his new world. He leans down and kisses Zitao's forehead then kissing Joonmyun, all chaste, on the lips.
And tomorrow, a little past midnight, when Joonmyun will be up to soothe Zitao's crying, he'll spot a paper airplane next to Zitao's crib. He puts his son to sleep first, an hour spent pacing the room, swaying gently from side to side and humming whatever tunes come to mind. Then, once he's done, he opens the letter slowly, not straightening the creases to be able to fold it back to it's original shape. Joonmyun sits down in the rocking chair next to the crib and cries for awhile. Soft little gasps and sniffles interrupting the quiet of the night.
I’ll go anywhere, you know that.
I’ll show you that I can grant your dream of happiness.
Even if I’m separated from you, no matter how far,
I’ll be born with the new morning.
Even if it looks painful, even if I’m crying in sadness,
Deep in my heart I feel your warmth.
If I try and close my eyes I can hear someone’s laughter ((and see a tiny palm))
Somehow that’s now my most precious treasure.