(no subject)
just thinking about you so much right now. how hopelessly in love with you i still am. it's so crazy because i know we will never be but i also know i could never love again the way i love you. it's complicated. it's like i'm just wrapped around what we used to be. it's twisted and unfair that you were taken from me. i'm still after all this time not ready to let you go. i love you CJ. don't you see how hard it is for all of us here without you. it eats at me still. i was so sure you would be the one. my one. the one i'd marry. the one i'd have kids with. the one i'd spend my life with. you always were the one who made me smile and gave me butterflies. you had power over me that made me fall apart at the sound of your name. and now you're not here to put me back together. to call me at 1AM and ask what i'm doing. to hold me when i'm sad. to tell me to come over. to snuggle in your bed. I MISS YOUUUUU. will i ever feel this way again? could i ever open my heart to anyone else when it still beats so strongly for you? how could anyone else compare to perfection?