Wipe, Shake, or Stank?
Inquiring minds wanna know...I wanna know...Do most men wipe their pee-pee holes off with toilet paper after peeing? I saw the hubbster go the other day and not wipe it. He just kinda shook it off and put it back in his pants. That struck me as a little nasty. No, actually I thought it was downright gross! I wanna know what most men out there do. I'm curious. Do yall wipe, shake, or just stick it back in your stank pants???. Yesterday started out crazy. I got up about 8 in the morning to go to the gym. The cable men were supposed to come at some point during the day. I went in the bedroom to get my shoes and I whispered to Jim, "You gotta listen for the cable guys ok" and he snaps "No, you listen for the cable guys!". I'm like "But, I'm not going to be here." He screams "Where are you going!!!?" I'm like "The gym". He's like "Fuck! Fuckin' gym!" So I was getting really pissed now because this is not like him to be yelling at me just because I want to go to the gym. I go "Fuck! I have to go!". He's like "Well, I wanna sleep!!! I told you not to go anywhere today!!!". Ok, I tried to understand that the man works about 80 hours a week...but at the same time I'm thinkin' you know what...he's the one that lets the Hilton fuck him in the ass with the scheduling. And it's not my damned fault! I'd been putting up with this snapping all week long and I was tired of it. Not to mention I was on my period and it was hot so that didn't help. I looked right at him and yelled..."You're a fucking asshole! You've been an asshole all week! Fuck it! I'm not going! Forget it!", and stormed out and layed on the couch. Yo, dude was in shock. He was like...so hurt. He told me that was the first time in the whole marriage that I've ever called him a fucking asshole. Said he couldn't believe I called him a fucking asshole. Said his ex wife used to call him a fucking asshole. D'ya think maybe it's because sometimes he is a fucking asshole??? I felt bad but hey, I was tired of being the recipient of his overworked rants. And I know part of it is resentment because I only work part time, which was all his idea in the first place. Can you imagine me not working at all like he suggests? Screw that! Oh well, he won't be resenting me too much longer 'cause this is my last week of PT. So anyway after we made up he asked me to never call him a fucking asshole again 'cause he didn't want to be married to a young girl who was going to be calling him a fucking asshole as he got older or some such. Whatever crazy ass. That's not it though. After that I went around the corner to the doctor to get some birth control pills. I couldn't get in touch with my regular doc this week so I figured they'd give me some at medical one. In the past they have. Not today though. Today I got the angry lesbian who was determined not to give me the pills because I couldn't show her proof that I had a pap smear in the past year. I was so freaking mad. I had the damned pap smear six months ago. So she called my doc but no one was there to fax the records so I ended up paying a co-pay for nothing and I'm freaking out. I need my pills by Sunday. Not because I actually get enough sex to cause pregnancy, but because I need them to stop my ovulation. You see, I have horrid wicked painful ovulation. I mean it's so bad I can't walk or work or anything for at least a day and it alternates sides every month depending on which ovary is releasing the eggs. The first time I felt it I thought I had appendicitis. The only good thing about it is that I know exactly when my eggs are dropping and when not to have sex. But it hurts. They never found anything wrong with me so I guess I'm just sensitive or something. I haven't been through that pain in quite some time but if I don't get my pills my whole cycle will be screwed up and I'll be screwed. Arg! I had a little bit of fun after that. I went to AT&T wireless and got a nifty new cellphone with a color screen and camera. It didn't make up for Jim's psychotic rantings or the lesbian birth control refusal...but it did put a smile on my face for a sec. I'm gonna see if I can sneak some pics of the guys at work tonight. Hehe.
LATER ON
Last night at work was perfect. It was like I was under the influence of marijuana or something. I swear to God everything was freaking funny for no reason at all. First I gave the girls (Carolyn and LaShana) their light pens and they were so overjoyed about the pens. That made me feel good. I like to do nice things for people and have them actually appreciate it. I mean LaShana was really super thankful. Everyone else loved their pens too. Even Bob came over and was all into the pen thing. So, after that I started trying to steal snap shots of everyone. I got some pics of Carolyn, LaShana, Sandu, Juan. I got miss Jackie right up in her face. I snuck two of Bob and he caught me on the second snap. He was like "What's that thing?". I told him it was a game and he just made this face that was so funny. I knew I was caught but he didn't say anything. On my break I saw Cheryl so I sat with her. Then Orazio came over and plopped right next to me. Then Juan joined us with his twenty oranges on a tray so he could make handmade orange juice. WTF?. I tried to get Orazio's picture and he was like "No, no, no, no, no...I no take pictures good." I could have done it anyway, but I decided to respect his wishes. After lunch it was like straight up mad fun. We just were cracking up about everything. I got to the point where I couldn't even look at Carolyn without laughing. I even laughed right in Mrs. Jackie's face when she dropped off her window. I was teasing Bob cause he forgot to circle his shift on his paper and that was funny as hell. Yota's drawer was a hot mess again and that was funny. What was really hilarious though was that there was a third person working with us all night...Thomas. Amy decided to have Carolyn train the both of us at the same time. He's like a six foot tall older white guy that doesn't say shit and has a look on his face like he's gonna kill somebody. While Carolyn was on break he talked to me and he turned out to be really nice...but his face is sooooo damn mean you have to laugh. Oh God, I can't express how much fun I had last night. I am truly being my off the wall crazy goofy retarded self now. I haven't felt like I could be the real me in a long time. It's very refreshing. I didn't get out till 8:30 'cause Carolyn was helping the girl in the check bank balance plus I had to wait for Bob to come back from Poker (Poker didn't balance again...what a shock!) 'cause he said I had to sign some papers to change my status to a ten hour worker. I was tired as hell when I got in. The baby was loose so I gave him some pop tarts. I ate a pancake that I had gotten from BK on the way home. He started throwing a tantrum and falling out 'cause he wanted my pancake instead of his pop tarts. I whipped his ass. He ate his pop tarts. I fell out. I woke up about 12:15 only to find out that Comcast had called and we didn't answer so they decided not to show up again (they never showed up yesterday). I was sleep and Jim just didn't even hear it. The new phone we bought has a sucky ringer and must be thrown out of the window and replaced! So we're pissed 'cause now we have to wait till Monday to get this crap fixed. WTF? Oh yeah, and I accidentally had the wrong setting on the cell camera so all of my pics came out small as f*ck and they come out fuzzy when I try to enlarge them...soooooo...I have to try to get pictures all over again tonight. Hell!
LATER ON
Last night at work was perfect. It was like I was under the influence of marijuana or something. I swear to God everything was freaking funny for no reason at all. First I gave the girls (Carolyn and LaShana) their light pens and they were so overjoyed about the pens. That made me feel good. I like to do nice things for people and have them actually appreciate it. I mean LaShana was really super thankful. Everyone else loved their pens too. Even Bob came over and was all into the pen thing. So, after that I started trying to steal snap shots of everyone. I got some pics of Carolyn, LaShana, Sandu, Juan. I got miss Jackie right up in her face. I snuck two of Bob and he caught me on the second snap. He was like "What's that thing?". I told him it was a game and he just made this face that was so funny. I knew I was caught but he didn't say anything. On my break I saw Cheryl so I sat with her. Then Orazio came over and plopped right next to me. Then Juan joined us with his twenty oranges on a tray so he could make handmade orange juice. WTF?. I tried to get Orazio's picture and he was like "No, no, no, no, no...I no take pictures good." I could have done it anyway, but I decided to respect his wishes. After lunch it was like straight up mad fun. We just were cracking up about everything. I got to the point where I couldn't even look at Carolyn without laughing. I even laughed right in Mrs. Jackie's face when she dropped off her window. I was teasing Bob cause he forgot to circle his shift on his paper and that was funny as hell. Yota's drawer was a hot mess again and that was funny. What was really hilarious though was that there was a third person working with us all night...Thomas. Amy decided to have Carolyn train the both of us at the same time. He's like a six foot tall older white guy that doesn't say shit and has a look on his face like he's gonna kill somebody. While Carolyn was on break he talked to me and he turned out to be really nice...but his face is sooooo damn mean you have to laugh. Oh God, I can't express how much fun I had last night. I am truly being my off the wall crazy goofy retarded self now. I haven't felt like I could be the real me in a long time. It's very refreshing. I didn't get out till 8:30 'cause Carolyn was helping the girl in the check bank balance plus I had to wait for Bob to come back from Poker (Poker didn't balance again...what a shock!) 'cause he said I had to sign some papers to change my status to a ten hour worker. I was tired as hell when I got in. The baby was loose so I gave him some pop tarts. I ate a pancake that I had gotten from BK on the way home. He started throwing a tantrum and falling out 'cause he wanted my pancake instead of his pop tarts. I whipped his ass. He ate his pop tarts. I fell out. I woke up about 12:15 only to find out that Comcast had called and we didn't answer so they decided not to show up again (they never showed up yesterday). I was sleep and Jim just didn't even hear it. The new phone we bought has a sucky ringer and must be thrown out of the window and replaced! So we're pissed 'cause now we have to wait till Monday to get this crap fixed. WTF? Oh yeah, and I accidentally had the wrong setting on the cell camera so all of my pics came out small as f*ck and they come out fuzzy when I try to enlarge them...soooooo...I have to try to get pictures all over again tonight. Hell!