the keeper of memories
The older I get, the less I come here. I don't know if it's part of the aging process or if my thoughts/feelings have lost their importance with age. Or maybe it's simply the fact that I'm an introvert and it's difficult for me to write about "real things" instead of the "idea of things". Any time I describe real life events here, it feels awkward and I don't know how to talk about it. It's like trying to make small talk in real life, I'm terrible at it because it's foreign to me. But then there are times where I feel compelled to talk about real life...when my silence becomes too much for me to bear. This is one of those times.
Six weeks ago Maria had a mini-stroke and she has been at home recuperating ever since. I've worked with her longer than I've worked with anybody else and we always meshed well. She was there for the same reasons as I was...for the clients and because God had called her to that place. We'd talk about our frustrations with co-workers as well as supervisors, about the clients, about God, about our lives. We've shared many laughs and many tears. She hasn't just been a co-worker, she has been a friend. The first true friend I've had in years (aside from my online friends of course). I've missed her and work hasn't been the same without her. I've worried about her (she's only 47 and her husband is away) since her recovery has been so slow. I admire many things about her, she's a true woman of faith. She's honest about her struggles with it but she hasn't wavered in her beliefs. Despite her newfound anxieties she still remains true in her relationship with God. People like that are rare and I admire her her strength through this difficult time.
Yesterday, she came to visit the clients for the first time since she left. So many of them swarmed to the door as she walked in, even the clients that weren't in our class. They all wanted to hug her and say hello. When Leslie (a girl in my class) saw her, she said "Maria's here" and her face lit up. She's schizophrenic and is in her head a lot (she talks to herself 80% of the day) so it was touching to see her whole demeanor change when she saw Maria through the doors. As all the clients hugged Maria, I began to cry and so was she. As you all have probably noticed, I'm a very sensitive/sentimental person. I'm often overcome with emotion and yesterday was no exception. It was a touching moment...and it probably did her spirit a lot of good to see them again. I think if I had to be away from them for that long, my heart would begin to ache. They become your family and they bring a lot of light to your life if you let them all the way in. She brought everyone in my class a plastic school-box and a box of crayons. She gives so much of herself...even though she's been sick, she still thinks about other people. Seeing her with the clients again made my heart ache. I've missed her and the goodness she brought to their lives. There are a lot of people where I work that don't think of the clients in the same way so it's easy to miss the people who truly care. I wish I had a camera for her visit...but the best I can do is to write it up here so when I look back on this day years from now, I can refer to this post. This journal is like my memory keeper.
Six weeks ago Maria had a mini-stroke and she has been at home recuperating ever since. I've worked with her longer than I've worked with anybody else and we always meshed well. She was there for the same reasons as I was...for the clients and because God had called her to that place. We'd talk about our frustrations with co-workers as well as supervisors, about the clients, about God, about our lives. We've shared many laughs and many tears. She hasn't just been a co-worker, she has been a friend. The first true friend I've had in years (aside from my online friends of course). I've missed her and work hasn't been the same without her. I've worried about her (she's only 47 and her husband is away) since her recovery has been so slow. I admire many things about her, she's a true woman of faith. She's honest about her struggles with it but she hasn't wavered in her beliefs. Despite her newfound anxieties she still remains true in her relationship with God. People like that are rare and I admire her her strength through this difficult time.
Yesterday, she came to visit the clients for the first time since she left. So many of them swarmed to the door as she walked in, even the clients that weren't in our class. They all wanted to hug her and say hello. When Leslie (a girl in my class) saw her, she said "Maria's here" and her face lit up. She's schizophrenic and is in her head a lot (she talks to herself 80% of the day) so it was touching to see her whole demeanor change when she saw Maria through the doors. As all the clients hugged Maria, I began to cry and so was she. As you all have probably noticed, I'm a very sensitive/sentimental person. I'm often overcome with emotion and yesterday was no exception. It was a touching moment...and it probably did her spirit a lot of good to see them again. I think if I had to be away from them for that long, my heart would begin to ache. They become your family and they bring a lot of light to your life if you let them all the way in. She brought everyone in my class a plastic school-box and a box of crayons. She gives so much of herself...even though she's been sick, she still thinks about other people. Seeing her with the clients again made my heart ache. I've missed her and the goodness she brought to their lives. There are a lot of people where I work that don't think of the clients in the same way so it's easy to miss the people who truly care. I wish I had a camera for her visit...but the best I can do is to write it up here so when I look back on this day years from now, I can refer to this post. This journal is like my memory keeper.