Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased? 3
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Jess, Bobby, Gabriel
Title: Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased? 3
Rating: 15 or so
Genre: AU, angst, romance, mental illness
Summary: Dean's got issues. Cas has issues with Dean's issues. Gabriel has issues with Cas' fridge being empty. Sam kills flowers.
Author's Notes: E.R. visits aren't fun. neither is computer death. sorry it took awhile.
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"In my dreams I see bits of gold. They're stuck in my skin and I scratch at them. I dream of being made of gold and how it itches and burns. How the demons come to mine it from me."
~~~
"I didn't prescribe you something for you to just not take it."
"I told you I wasn't going to! Aren't you suppose to be good at listening to people?!"
Bobby shook his head. "You're allowing this to ruin your chances at a relationship."
"Let's be honest here whether I was like this or not a relationship wouldn't be my strong point anyway."
"And if you weren't 'like this'," Bobby made air-quotes. "we wouldn't know each other and my opinion would mean fuck-all to you."
Dean snorted and Bobby glared at him.
"You either take what I prescribe you or you don't." Dean paced the floor as Bobby spoke. "Do you even know the meaning of the word balance?" Bobby bit out sarcastically and instantly regretted his slip of temper as Dean's face darkened.
"Don't be an ass." Dean stopped in front of him. "After what happened with that stuff last time I just can't-"
"-I wouldn't prescribe you something with the purpose of making you suicidal you know! I'm not the idjit you seem to think I am." Bobby took a breath and told himself to be professional.
Dean looked into Bobby's angry face. "That's not what I meant."
"No, you meant that after four years of treating you you don't trust me enough to help you." Bobby seemed to be having an off day. Dean was always a frustrating case but he usually managed to bring some kind of order to their sessions while Dean seemed to be trying to steer them off a cliff. He thought about the bottle of scotch waiting for him at home and knew he'd be drinking from it tonight as he watched thunderclouds roll over Dean's face.
Dean leaned over Bobby, his hands on the arms of Bobby's chair. "I trust you to think you're helping me. I trust you to think you know what the hell you're talking about. You're not the one that's sick! You will never be able to help me overcome this because it can't be done." Bobby flinched at the spiteful words.
Dean stormed out of the office and Bobby put a shaking hand to his mouth as the door slammed into the wall.
```
"So you're just never gonna call him?" Gabriel took another bite of his snickers as Cas grabbed a gallon of milk and checked the date.
"We're not discussing this." Cas loaded the milk into the buggy and pushed it down the aisle a few feet to the meat. "I'm making tacos. Go get some shredded cheese."
"Yeah, no, I don't eat meat."
"You ate a steak last night." Cas said, not looking up from his perusal of ground meat products.
"Steak doesn't count. You should call him." He finished the Snickers bar and threw the wrapper into the buggy.
Cas grabbed Gabriel's wrist before he could withdraw it and shoved him back. "Go get the cheese."
Gabe stumbled and they stared at each other before he shoved Cas' shoulders. "You go get the cheese."
Cas shoved him back harder and Gabe struggled for purchase on the dirty linoleum before charging Cas and catching him around the middle. They were brawling in the meat and poultry aisle in a grocery store.
"Sirs!"
Cas kicked Gabriel away from him and looked up at the store manager.
"I'm going to have to ask you both to leave."
Cas stood up and walked towards the entrance, not bothering to see if Gabriel was following.
Gabriel dusted himself off and followed Cas out the front doors. Cas unlocked the car and slid inside as Gabe opened the passenger side door. "You didn't have to kick me."
"We're not speaking." Cas started the car, backed out and waited at the end of the row for an old lady who was making her way slowly towards the front of the store. He ducked the car around her and headed for the light.
"Why? Because I told you you should call some guy you went on a date with? Way to over-react."
Cas hit the brakes and they both jerked forward. He turned to face his brother. "He had a schizophrenic episode in a crowded restaurant."
Gabriel looked confused. "But you knew he was schizophrenic. You weren't expecting something like this to happen eventually when you agreed to date him?"
"Eventually. Not on the first date."
Gabriel snorted out a laugh. "So that's just it? Everyone's got problems, Castiel. You deal with them as they come."
Cas pressed his lips into a thin line. "I work with sick people, injured people, delusional people, all day long. Is it too much to expect a respite from all that when I'm off?"
"Yes."
Cas blinked at him. Gabriel's face was as serious as he'd ever seen it.
"If you're holding out for someone who isn't ever going to be sick, injured, or occasionally delusional....then you're the one hallucinating."
The car behind them honked and Cas started forward again, still lost in thought.
Gabriel shifted in his seat restlessly and sighed. "Now we don't have any food and you're being annoyingly quiet."
```
Sam was pacing in the backyard. "I can't just tell him to take it. He doesn't want to to take it, it's his choice."
"It can't be his choice, Sam. He scares me when he's like that. I love Dean but I don't think you're thinking about this rationally." Jess stood up from her seat on the garden bench and tried to ignore the flowers being crushed by her fiance's strides. "He has to take his medication. There shouldn't be any leeway about this."
Sam paused and looked at her pointedly. "It isn't up to you. I'm his guardian." He resumed pacing.
"Which mean barely anything. If he doesn't want to take it he won't, but if you sit him down and talk to him about it you know he'll listen to you. Stop pacing!" She held her hands up.
Sam stopped in front of her and she grabbed his hands, looking at him imploringly. He sighed in resignation. "I'll talk to him. You know you don't have to be afraid of him. He won't hurt you."
Jess smiled lightly and pushed Sam's hair behind his ear. "I know he wouldn't knowingly hurt me. That's not the same thing."
"Sam?! Jess?!"
Sam turned towards the house as Dean poked his head out the door. "Yeah, Dean?"
Dean looked angry. "Sam, gotta talk to you." He went back into the house.
Jess sat back down on the bench. "Go talk to your brother."
Sam smiled gratefully at her and followed after Dean. Dean was in the living room sitting on the recliner. "Don't be mad."
Sam's face fell. "What did you do?"
"I yelled at Bobby." Sam had always found it strange that Dr. Singer encouraged his patients to call him by his first name. "He had it coming but still, I know I shouldn't have. I'll make it up to him next appointment."
Sam looked away from him in thought. Dean started getting antsy. He didn't really feel like getting told off for being a jerk to someone who was trying to help him. He sighed. "Sam, I just-"
"-let's get out of here." Dean looked at him in surprise. "Let's go for a drive. Just you and me. We'll get some greasy diner food and listen to dead guys play guitar."
Dean blinked at him then broke into a grin. He grabbed his leather jacket from the back of the recliner and shrugged it on. Sam took the key off the hook by the door and threw it for Dean to catch. He took out his cell phone to text Jess and headed out the front door, Dean already halfway to the car.
They stopped at a diner outside of town after driving in companionable silence, the music blaring. The diner was dingy and rundown with a gravel drive. A sign by the road boasted it had the best apple pie. Their waitress was a young woman, early twenties probably, with long, greasy black hair and dark circles under her eyes.
"What can I get for ya?" She droned mechanically.
Dean grinned up at her. "Slice of apple pie and a vanilla milk shake."
Sam ordered a salad and a cherry coke and when the girl left he raised his eyebrows at Dean. "She seems cheerful."
They talked trash about Sam's coworkers and the people in Dean's group therapy sessions. "He hears voices telling him to mow the lawn. How is that bad? Just go mow the lawn and maybe they'll shut up!"
"Maybe the voices are really his neighbors."
"That's what I said and Bobby yelled at me!"
Dean's phone rang right after he finished swallowing the last bite of his pie. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the caller id, raising his eyebrows. "Are you going to answer it?" Sam asked between sips of his coke.
"No." He hit ignore and slid it back into his pocket. Their waitress walked up with the check and Sam took it.
They paid and headed back out to the car "So who was it?"
"Someone I don't want to talk to or about right now." Sam dropped it.
They drove for a couple more hours and found another crappy diner that Dean wanted to stop at. Sam was starting to get antsy to return home though Dean had no desire to do so. Dean had the sudden thought while eating a slice of peach pie that he should just leave. He could take Sam back and pretend to go to bed. He could pack a small bag and take the car and go. Sam was his legal guardian and would probably list him as a missing person if he did though.
"Dean, are you okay?"
Dean looked up at Sam and his thoughts about leaving dissipated. He loved his brother. He wouldn't leave unless Sam asked him to. "I'm fine, Sammy. We should probably start heading back."
Sam nodded. "Jess has probably left me a lot of rude voice-mails by now."
Dean laughed. "If she smacks you I'm gonna laugh."
"She'll smack you too."
"Damn."
```
"-at the little cafe on the south side!"
Cas scrubbed the water from his hair and wrapped the towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and steam billowed out. "What?"
Gabriel pulled his eyes from the television and frowned at Castiel. "You're so scrawny."
Cas raised an eyebrow. "You're so manly and buff. Please, teach me your ways."
They stared at each other a minute. "You're too sarcastic, it's unattractive. We should go to lunch at this cafe on the south side. They make a mean omelet."
Cas shook his head and went to his room to change. He picked up his cell from the bedside table and frowned at the screen. He had a missed call from 'Dean SexyPants Winchester'. He went down through his contacts to Dean's name and hit 'talk'. The phone rang twice before going to voice-mail. Cas hung up as it beeped. He decided not to think about it too much. Maybe Dean had hit his name by accident. He pocketed the phone and headed back out to the living room, now dressed in grey slacks and a blue v-neck. "You're not dressed."
Gabriel's eyes lit up. "We're going to lunch?"
"Unless you've changed your mind."
"No, no. BRB!" He grabbed some clothes from the trash bag by the entertainment center and went into the bathroom to change. He emerged a minute later in jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt. Cas shook his head at the shirt. "What? Cobain was a god, man!"
"Whatever you say, Gabriel."
Traffic was terrible. It took nearly forty-five minutes to get across town and then Cas had a little trouble finding the cafe. Gabriel was looking nervous by the time they parked in the small lot behind the place. Cas kept looking at him in concern. They walked in and got a table by the large, store-front window. They placed their drink orders. Gabriel kept watching the door. The bell chimed behind Cas and a shadow fell over their table. Cas looked up into the face of the new-comer and shoved his chair back.
"Castiel, wait-"
Cas glared down at Gabriel who nearly flinched at the livid expression on his face. "I took you into my home and this is how you repay me?"
"I know you're angry with me, Castiel-" The new-comer's voice rumbled as he spoke.
Castiel turned his fierce expression towards the voice. "Angry doesn't begin to cover my feelings towards you, Father."
"Sit Castiel, so we may talk." The man gestured towards Castiel's chair and everything seemed to pause for a moment as Cas made his decision.
Castiel grudgingly took his seat. His father took off his hat and took a chair from the table next to theirs.
"What happened at the reunion was unfortunate-"
"It was also two years ago and you did nothing to defend me." Cas interrupted. He stared at the wall over Gabriel's shoulder.
Gabriel chewed his omelet slowly and tried to ignore the conversation.
Their father took a sip of the glass of water the waitress had just sat in front of him. "You're correct of course. My actions were inexcusable. I'm here to make amends."
Cas scoffed. "I'm not interested. You've wasted your time."
"I'm your father-"
"-in name only." Cas stood and walked out the door then. He ignored Gabriel's cry for him to wait. He'd waited long enough for his father. He was done.
He'd had enough of Gabriel as well and Cas hopped in the car and sped off just as his brother made to open the passenger door. Let him ride the bus. Cas wasn't even sure whether or not he was going to kick Gabe out on his ass when he arrived back at Cas' apartment.
The drive back was a blur of anger. He only had a handful of memories of his father and nearly all of them contained some form of disappointment in the man. He parked the car and slammed the door shut before stomping up the stairs and throwing his front door open. He shut the door and headed for his room He threw himself face first onto the bed.
The anger was gone. The depression returned swiftly in it's place. Bitter thoughts raced through his head. He hated his job. He hated his father despite the fact that he barely knew the man. He didn't know any of his siblings really. Gabriel didn't really care about him after all, he'd just needed a place to stay. His mother was dead and he had to force himself not to think about her every day. His love life was none existent. He had no children. His work left him feeling more hollow. All he ever saw were the sick and injured. People beating and killing each other. These thoughts wouldn't leave him. The rolled around in him and ate at his soul.
His phone rang.
He groaned into the bedspread and groped in his pocket. His hand formed around the object and he pulled it up to his face to read the caller id. "Huh." He flipped it open and pushed it to his ear. "Hello Dean."
```
They walked back up the steps to the house and as Dean reached for the door Sam pushed it closed. Dean looked up at him in question.
Sam pulled a bottle out of his pocket and opened it. He shook a pill into his hand and held it out to Dean who stared at it before looking into his brother's tired eyes.
Dean licked his lips and nodded before he reached out and picked up the pill. He put it in his mouth and swallowed it dry. He took the bottle from Sam and they headed inside. He walked straight to the bathroom and put the bottle behind the mirror with his other medications. The mirror shut with a click and he stilled as a thought came to him. "Call me when you decide to adhere to your doctor's treatment plan."
Dean pulled his cell phone out and scrolled down to 'Cas'. He hesitated, thumb hovering over the 'talk' button. Another conversation ran through his mind, one from months ago with Bobby. "You deserve good things, Dean. This isn't a punishment. Shit happens. This just happens to be the shit that happened to you."
Dean pushed the button and listened as the phone rang twice before a low, gravelly voice answered. "Hello, Dean."
Dean smirked. "Hey, Cas." Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he listened to Cas breathing. The silence between them was like a conversation in itself.
"Do you have a pen and paper nearby?"
Dean walked to his bedside table and picked up the pen and notepad there. "Yeah." He jotted down the address he was given quickly. "I'll be there in ten minutes." Cas hung up without saying bye, something that'd always irritated Dean. He made a mental note to scold him for it later. He headed to the front door. The house was quiet so Sam must have taken Jess out. He pulled his phone back out and texted Sam 'getting laid. don't wait up.' before grabbing the car keys.
He made it to Cas' apartment in eight minutes. Cas answered the door mid-knock. He grabbed Dean's wrist and pulled him inside, shoving him onto the couch and straddling his waist. Cas dove at Dean's mouth and kissed him hungrily. Dean pulled in a breath through his nose when Cas pulled back slightly, Cas' cologne and natural scent filled him. He growled into Cas' mouth as heat pooled in his groin. Cas ground his hips down into him and moaned into their kiss.
"Dean." Dean's cock twitched at Cas' rough voice. His brain chose then to turn back on for some stupid reason. "What is this, Cas?" He panted out as Cas attacked his neck.
Cas licked the shell of his ear. "What we both wanted I thought."
Dean shook his head even as part of him rebelled against anything that would stop this. He pushed back on Cas' shoulders until they were looking each other in the eye. "I don't want a one-night-stand with you."
Cas suddenly looked close to tears. "I'm very lonely." He swallowed. His eyes slid closed and he shook his head. "That's not what I meant to say." He kissed Dean slowly, dipping his tongue in to taste before pulling back again and looking at him. "You called me earlier. I tried to call you back."
"Butt dial." Dean mumbled, studying Cas' face. He felt like he was missing something
"Oh."
Dean rubbed circles on Cas' hips with his thumbs. "Can I stay the night here?"
Cas looked mildly surprised at that. "I don't have a spare bed and my brother will be back soon so the couch is taken."
"I meant in your bed." Dean smiled and pecked his lips.
"....so you want to sleep with me?" Cas said disbelievingly.
A look of doubt crossed Dean's face at Cas' tone. "Not if you don't want me here."
Cas stared into his eyes for a moment. "I don't want you to be a one-night-stand either, Dean." Dean smiled brightly at that. "But honestly, I've had a long day. I know it's early but I don't believe I should remain awake." Cas stood up and pulled Dean with him to the bedroom.
"I'm pretty tired myself." Cas handed him some baggy sleep pants and he headed to the bathroom to change into them.
"I think we should talk tomorrow." Cas called through the door.
Dean stepped back out and set his folded jeans and boots on the floor at the foot of Cas' bed. "I'm on the medication I've been prescribed, Cas, I swear-"
"Tomorrow, Dean." His voice had a hint of desperation in it. "Please. I just want to sleep."
It was obvious to Dean now that something was really bothering him. Dean decided to drop it. He'd have to remember to bring it up in their 'talk' tomorrow. He didn't know how he was going to prepare for what he was starting to mentally call 'the epic chick flick conversation of doom'. Hopefully they'd have sex afterwards. Emotional, angst driven, first time sex. He wanted to lick the beads of sweat from Cas' temple while he thrust into his willing body.
"Dean?" Dean started. Cas had pulled the covers down and was sitting in the bed. "Are you gonna join me?" Cas flicked the lamp on the side table off and the moon shining through the curtain-less window became the only source of light.
Dean smiled and climbed up the bed. He pushed the covers down further and pull them up around them as Cas settled facing him. "Your brother's not gonna harass us in the morning is he?"
"Mercilessly."
~~~
TBC
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Jess, Bobby, Gabriel
Title: Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased? 3
Rating: 15 or so
Genre: AU, angst, romance, mental illness
Summary: Dean's got issues. Cas has issues with Dean's issues. Gabriel has issues with Cas' fridge being empty. Sam kills flowers.
Author's Notes: E.R. visits aren't fun. neither is computer death. sorry it took awhile.
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"In my dreams I see bits of gold. They're stuck in my skin and I scratch at them. I dream of being made of gold and how it itches and burns. How the demons come to mine it from me."
~~~
"I didn't prescribe you something for you to just not take it."
"I told you I wasn't going to! Aren't you suppose to be good at listening to people?!"
Bobby shook his head. "You're allowing this to ruin your chances at a relationship."
"Let's be honest here whether I was like this or not a relationship wouldn't be my strong point anyway."
"And if you weren't 'like this'," Bobby made air-quotes. "we wouldn't know each other and my opinion would mean fuck-all to you."
Dean snorted and Bobby glared at him.
"You either take what I prescribe you or you don't." Dean paced the floor as Bobby spoke. "Do you even know the meaning of the word balance?" Bobby bit out sarcastically and instantly regretted his slip of temper as Dean's face darkened.
"Don't be an ass." Dean stopped in front of him. "After what happened with that stuff last time I just can't-"
"-I wouldn't prescribe you something with the purpose of making you suicidal you know! I'm not the idjit you seem to think I am." Bobby took a breath and told himself to be professional.
Dean looked into Bobby's angry face. "That's not what I meant."
"No, you meant that after four years of treating you you don't trust me enough to help you." Bobby seemed to be having an off day. Dean was always a frustrating case but he usually managed to bring some kind of order to their sessions while Dean seemed to be trying to steer them off a cliff. He thought about the bottle of scotch waiting for him at home and knew he'd be drinking from it tonight as he watched thunderclouds roll over Dean's face.
Dean leaned over Bobby, his hands on the arms of Bobby's chair. "I trust you to think you're helping me. I trust you to think you know what the hell you're talking about. You're not the one that's sick! You will never be able to help me overcome this because it can't be done." Bobby flinched at the spiteful words.
Dean stormed out of the office and Bobby put a shaking hand to his mouth as the door slammed into the wall.
```
"So you're just never gonna call him?" Gabriel took another bite of his snickers as Cas grabbed a gallon of milk and checked the date.
"We're not discussing this." Cas loaded the milk into the buggy and pushed it down the aisle a few feet to the meat. "I'm making tacos. Go get some shredded cheese."
"Yeah, no, I don't eat meat."
"You ate a steak last night." Cas said, not looking up from his perusal of ground meat products.
"Steak doesn't count. You should call him." He finished the Snickers bar and threw the wrapper into the buggy.
Cas grabbed Gabriel's wrist before he could withdraw it and shoved him back. "Go get the cheese."
Gabe stumbled and they stared at each other before he shoved Cas' shoulders. "You go get the cheese."
Cas shoved him back harder and Gabe struggled for purchase on the dirty linoleum before charging Cas and catching him around the middle. They were brawling in the meat and poultry aisle in a grocery store.
"Sirs!"
Cas kicked Gabriel away from him and looked up at the store manager.
"I'm going to have to ask you both to leave."
Cas stood up and walked towards the entrance, not bothering to see if Gabriel was following.
Gabriel dusted himself off and followed Cas out the front doors. Cas unlocked the car and slid inside as Gabe opened the passenger side door. "You didn't have to kick me."
"We're not speaking." Cas started the car, backed out and waited at the end of the row for an old lady who was making her way slowly towards the front of the store. He ducked the car around her and headed for the light.
"Why? Because I told you you should call some guy you went on a date with? Way to over-react."
Cas hit the brakes and they both jerked forward. He turned to face his brother. "He had a schizophrenic episode in a crowded restaurant."
Gabriel looked confused. "But you knew he was schizophrenic. You weren't expecting something like this to happen eventually when you agreed to date him?"
"Eventually. Not on the first date."
Gabriel snorted out a laugh. "So that's just it? Everyone's got problems, Castiel. You deal with them as they come."
Cas pressed his lips into a thin line. "I work with sick people, injured people, delusional people, all day long. Is it too much to expect a respite from all that when I'm off?"
"Yes."
Cas blinked at him. Gabriel's face was as serious as he'd ever seen it.
"If you're holding out for someone who isn't ever going to be sick, injured, or occasionally delusional....then you're the one hallucinating."
The car behind them honked and Cas started forward again, still lost in thought.
Gabriel shifted in his seat restlessly and sighed. "Now we don't have any food and you're being annoyingly quiet."
```
Sam was pacing in the backyard. "I can't just tell him to take it. He doesn't want to to take it, it's his choice."
"It can't be his choice, Sam. He scares me when he's like that. I love Dean but I don't think you're thinking about this rationally." Jess stood up from her seat on the garden bench and tried to ignore the flowers being crushed by her fiance's strides. "He has to take his medication. There shouldn't be any leeway about this."
Sam paused and looked at her pointedly. "It isn't up to you. I'm his guardian." He resumed pacing.
"Which mean barely anything. If he doesn't want to take it he won't, but if you sit him down and talk to him about it you know he'll listen to you. Stop pacing!" She held her hands up.
Sam stopped in front of her and she grabbed his hands, looking at him imploringly. He sighed in resignation. "I'll talk to him. You know you don't have to be afraid of him. He won't hurt you."
Jess smiled lightly and pushed Sam's hair behind his ear. "I know he wouldn't knowingly hurt me. That's not the same thing."
"Sam?! Jess?!"
Sam turned towards the house as Dean poked his head out the door. "Yeah, Dean?"
Dean looked angry. "Sam, gotta talk to you." He went back into the house.
Jess sat back down on the bench. "Go talk to your brother."
Sam smiled gratefully at her and followed after Dean. Dean was in the living room sitting on the recliner. "Don't be mad."
Sam's face fell. "What did you do?"
"I yelled at Bobby." Sam had always found it strange that Dr. Singer encouraged his patients to call him by his first name. "He had it coming but still, I know I shouldn't have. I'll make it up to him next appointment."
Sam looked away from him in thought. Dean started getting antsy. He didn't really feel like getting told off for being a jerk to someone who was trying to help him. He sighed. "Sam, I just-"
"-let's get out of here." Dean looked at him in surprise. "Let's go for a drive. Just you and me. We'll get some greasy diner food and listen to dead guys play guitar."
Dean blinked at him then broke into a grin. He grabbed his leather jacket from the back of the recliner and shrugged it on. Sam took the key off the hook by the door and threw it for Dean to catch. He took out his cell phone to text Jess and headed out the front door, Dean already halfway to the car.
They stopped at a diner outside of town after driving in companionable silence, the music blaring. The diner was dingy and rundown with a gravel drive. A sign by the road boasted it had the best apple pie. Their waitress was a young woman, early twenties probably, with long, greasy black hair and dark circles under her eyes.
"What can I get for ya?" She droned mechanically.
Dean grinned up at her. "Slice of apple pie and a vanilla milk shake."
Sam ordered a salad and a cherry coke and when the girl left he raised his eyebrows at Dean. "She seems cheerful."
They talked trash about Sam's coworkers and the people in Dean's group therapy sessions. "He hears voices telling him to mow the lawn. How is that bad? Just go mow the lawn and maybe they'll shut up!"
"Maybe the voices are really his neighbors."
"That's what I said and Bobby yelled at me!"
Dean's phone rang right after he finished swallowing the last bite of his pie. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the caller id, raising his eyebrows. "Are you going to answer it?" Sam asked between sips of his coke.
"No." He hit ignore and slid it back into his pocket. Their waitress walked up with the check and Sam took it.
They paid and headed back out to the car "So who was it?"
"Someone I don't want to talk to or about right now." Sam dropped it.
They drove for a couple more hours and found another crappy diner that Dean wanted to stop at. Sam was starting to get antsy to return home though Dean had no desire to do so. Dean had the sudden thought while eating a slice of peach pie that he should just leave. He could take Sam back and pretend to go to bed. He could pack a small bag and take the car and go. Sam was his legal guardian and would probably list him as a missing person if he did though.
"Dean, are you okay?"
Dean looked up at Sam and his thoughts about leaving dissipated. He loved his brother. He wouldn't leave unless Sam asked him to. "I'm fine, Sammy. We should probably start heading back."
Sam nodded. "Jess has probably left me a lot of rude voice-mails by now."
Dean laughed. "If she smacks you I'm gonna laugh."
"She'll smack you too."
"Damn."
```
"-at the little cafe on the south side!"
Cas scrubbed the water from his hair and wrapped the towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and steam billowed out. "What?"
Gabriel pulled his eyes from the television and frowned at Castiel. "You're so scrawny."
Cas raised an eyebrow. "You're so manly and buff. Please, teach me your ways."
They stared at each other a minute. "You're too sarcastic, it's unattractive. We should go to lunch at this cafe on the south side. They make a mean omelet."
Cas shook his head and went to his room to change. He picked up his cell from the bedside table and frowned at the screen. He had a missed call from 'Dean SexyPants Winchester'. He went down through his contacts to Dean's name and hit 'talk'. The phone rang twice before going to voice-mail. Cas hung up as it beeped. He decided not to think about it too much. Maybe Dean had hit his name by accident. He pocketed the phone and headed back out to the living room, now dressed in grey slacks and a blue v-neck. "You're not dressed."
Gabriel's eyes lit up. "We're going to lunch?"
"Unless you've changed your mind."
"No, no. BRB!" He grabbed some clothes from the trash bag by the entertainment center and went into the bathroom to change. He emerged a minute later in jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt. Cas shook his head at the shirt. "What? Cobain was a god, man!"
"Whatever you say, Gabriel."
Traffic was terrible. It took nearly forty-five minutes to get across town and then Cas had a little trouble finding the cafe. Gabriel was looking nervous by the time they parked in the small lot behind the place. Cas kept looking at him in concern. They walked in and got a table by the large, store-front window. They placed their drink orders. Gabriel kept watching the door. The bell chimed behind Cas and a shadow fell over their table. Cas looked up into the face of the new-comer and shoved his chair back.
"Castiel, wait-"
Cas glared down at Gabriel who nearly flinched at the livid expression on his face. "I took you into my home and this is how you repay me?"
"I know you're angry with me, Castiel-" The new-comer's voice rumbled as he spoke.
Castiel turned his fierce expression towards the voice. "Angry doesn't begin to cover my feelings towards you, Father."
"Sit Castiel, so we may talk." The man gestured towards Castiel's chair and everything seemed to pause for a moment as Cas made his decision.
Castiel grudgingly took his seat. His father took off his hat and took a chair from the table next to theirs.
"What happened at the reunion was unfortunate-"
"It was also two years ago and you did nothing to defend me." Cas interrupted. He stared at the wall over Gabriel's shoulder.
Gabriel chewed his omelet slowly and tried to ignore the conversation.
Their father took a sip of the glass of water the waitress had just sat in front of him. "You're correct of course. My actions were inexcusable. I'm here to make amends."
Cas scoffed. "I'm not interested. You've wasted your time."
"I'm your father-"
"-in name only." Cas stood and walked out the door then. He ignored Gabriel's cry for him to wait. He'd waited long enough for his father. He was done.
He'd had enough of Gabriel as well and Cas hopped in the car and sped off just as his brother made to open the passenger door. Let him ride the bus. Cas wasn't even sure whether or not he was going to kick Gabe out on his ass when he arrived back at Cas' apartment.
The drive back was a blur of anger. He only had a handful of memories of his father and nearly all of them contained some form of disappointment in the man. He parked the car and slammed the door shut before stomping up the stairs and throwing his front door open. He shut the door and headed for his room He threw himself face first onto the bed.
The anger was gone. The depression returned swiftly in it's place. Bitter thoughts raced through his head. He hated his job. He hated his father despite the fact that he barely knew the man. He didn't know any of his siblings really. Gabriel didn't really care about him after all, he'd just needed a place to stay. His mother was dead and he had to force himself not to think about her every day. His love life was none existent. He had no children. His work left him feeling more hollow. All he ever saw were the sick and injured. People beating and killing each other. These thoughts wouldn't leave him. The rolled around in him and ate at his soul.
His phone rang.
He groaned into the bedspread and groped in his pocket. His hand formed around the object and he pulled it up to his face to read the caller id. "Huh." He flipped it open and pushed it to his ear. "Hello Dean."
```
They walked back up the steps to the house and as Dean reached for the door Sam pushed it closed. Dean looked up at him in question.
Sam pulled a bottle out of his pocket and opened it. He shook a pill into his hand and held it out to Dean who stared at it before looking into his brother's tired eyes.
Dean licked his lips and nodded before he reached out and picked up the pill. He put it in his mouth and swallowed it dry. He took the bottle from Sam and they headed inside. He walked straight to the bathroom and put the bottle behind the mirror with his other medications. The mirror shut with a click and he stilled as a thought came to him. "Call me when you decide to adhere to your doctor's treatment plan."
Dean pulled his cell phone out and scrolled down to 'Cas'. He hesitated, thumb hovering over the 'talk' button. Another conversation ran through his mind, one from months ago with Bobby. "You deserve good things, Dean. This isn't a punishment. Shit happens. This just happens to be the shit that happened to you."
Dean pushed the button and listened as the phone rang twice before a low, gravelly voice answered. "Hello, Dean."
Dean smirked. "Hey, Cas." Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he listened to Cas breathing. The silence between them was like a conversation in itself.
"Do you have a pen and paper nearby?"
Dean walked to his bedside table and picked up the pen and notepad there. "Yeah." He jotted down the address he was given quickly. "I'll be there in ten minutes." Cas hung up without saying bye, something that'd always irritated Dean. He made a mental note to scold him for it later. He headed to the front door. The house was quiet so Sam must have taken Jess out. He pulled his phone back out and texted Sam 'getting laid. don't wait up.' before grabbing the car keys.
He made it to Cas' apartment in eight minutes. Cas answered the door mid-knock. He grabbed Dean's wrist and pulled him inside, shoving him onto the couch and straddling his waist. Cas dove at Dean's mouth and kissed him hungrily. Dean pulled in a breath through his nose when Cas pulled back slightly, Cas' cologne and natural scent filled him. He growled into Cas' mouth as heat pooled in his groin. Cas ground his hips down into him and moaned into their kiss.
"Dean." Dean's cock twitched at Cas' rough voice. His brain chose then to turn back on for some stupid reason. "What is this, Cas?" He panted out as Cas attacked his neck.
Cas licked the shell of his ear. "What we both wanted I thought."
Dean shook his head even as part of him rebelled against anything that would stop this. He pushed back on Cas' shoulders until they were looking each other in the eye. "I don't want a one-night-stand with you."
Cas suddenly looked close to tears. "I'm very lonely." He swallowed. His eyes slid closed and he shook his head. "That's not what I meant to say." He kissed Dean slowly, dipping his tongue in to taste before pulling back again and looking at him. "You called me earlier. I tried to call you back."
"Butt dial." Dean mumbled, studying Cas' face. He felt like he was missing something
"Oh."
Dean rubbed circles on Cas' hips with his thumbs. "Can I stay the night here?"
Cas looked mildly surprised at that. "I don't have a spare bed and my brother will be back soon so the couch is taken."
"I meant in your bed." Dean smiled and pecked his lips.
"....so you want to sleep with me?" Cas said disbelievingly.
A look of doubt crossed Dean's face at Cas' tone. "Not if you don't want me here."
Cas stared into his eyes for a moment. "I don't want you to be a one-night-stand either, Dean." Dean smiled brightly at that. "But honestly, I've had a long day. I know it's early but I don't believe I should remain awake." Cas stood up and pulled Dean with him to the bedroom.
"I'm pretty tired myself." Cas handed him some baggy sleep pants and he headed to the bathroom to change into them.
"I think we should talk tomorrow." Cas called through the door.
Dean stepped back out and set his folded jeans and boots on the floor at the foot of Cas' bed. "I'm on the medication I've been prescribed, Cas, I swear-"
"Tomorrow, Dean." His voice had a hint of desperation in it. "Please. I just want to sleep."
It was obvious to Dean now that something was really bothering him. Dean decided to drop it. He'd have to remember to bring it up in their 'talk' tomorrow. He didn't know how he was going to prepare for what he was starting to mentally call 'the epic chick flick conversation of doom'. Hopefully they'd have sex afterwards. Emotional, angst driven, first time sex. He wanted to lick the beads of sweat from Cas' temple while he thrust into his willing body.
"Dean?" Dean started. Cas had pulled the covers down and was sitting in the bed. "Are you gonna join me?" Cas flicked the lamp on the side table off and the moon shining through the curtain-less window became the only source of light.
Dean smiled and climbed up the bed. He pushed the covers down further and pull them up around them as Cas settled facing him. "Your brother's not gonna harass us in the morning is he?"
"Mercilessly."
~~~
TBC